Here's a round up of the 10 best, worst and most hilarious verbal exchanges I've been blessed to witness/be a part of lately:
"You don't look like a girl who smokes. It just -- just makes ya look uneducated." -- Following a bit of flirtation inside the bar, an ex-smoker is approached by the same suitor while giving in to a cigarette outside of the Boundary.
"Look at him, he's got that weird ass hair, and [a] gap tooth and you, you've got a nice smile." -- A declaration of adoration by a man to a woman his friend is seeing. Let's just call it TUI (talking under the influence).
"He's not lying. We're all married, so we're not hitting on you, but you are without a doubt the prettiest woman. (Looks around) By. Far." -- A group of married med students backing up their single friend's claim to a woman at Gamekeepers.
"You're, like, perfect. You talk like a white girl, but you still have that sexy Asian body." --The "friend" (in this case, an ignorant Texas Republican) of a girlfriend's date (taking one for the team) at Wicker Park Tavern. YIKES!
"I usually don't think Asian girls are hot, but..." -- In the midst of St. Paddy's Day fun.
"I don't know how anyone dates without booze really." -- My unromantic friend, Rusty.
"She likes her space and time, whereas I'd just like her to be over all the time." -- Rusty, again, but this time gushing about an unaffectionate woman he likes.
"I'm old, can I sit next to you???" --Said to a 20-something woman approached by a man in his 40s while dining on the free pizzas at Crocodile.
Woman: "I'm going on a boy-detox".
Man: "I'm going to OD on chicks."
--Best friends recounting their weekend of dating and mating.
"I was really looking forward to this when you said 'later tator.'" -- At a first-date brunch at Feast following a week of flirty emails.