Friday-Sunday at The Improv; $37; buy tickets
The "30 Rock" and former Saturday Night Live star comes to Schaumburg for a weekend engagement full of the unfiltered commentary that's made him a household name. Don't forget to bring him the french fries he did not ask for.
Snow Days Chicago
Friday-Sunday in Grant Park; free
This fest in the Spirit of Music Garden in Grant Park features a winter wonderland of events: a national snow-sculpting competition, dog-sled demonstrations, a snowboard rail jam and kids activities. Even if you're not participating, the snow sculptures (there will be 27 of 'em) make it worth the trip.
Starts at 6 p.m. Friday at Norris University Center McCormick Auditorium (Northwestern University); $20-$35
This 24-hour marathon of b-movies, mostly made up of monster and old horror flicks is a Northwestern tradition since 1981. Ever seen Mystery Science Theater 3000? Yeah, it's kinda like that, only you and the rest of the audience get to make the (hopefully) hilarious comments about bad movies. The highlight is Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space, shown at midnight. Find more info and tickets here.
Young Irish Fellowship Club South Side Pub Crawl
Starts at 1:30 p.m. at 115 Bourbon Street; $20
Even though the South Side Irish St. Patrick's Day Parade was canceled, you can still party on South Western Avenue in 2010. This pub crawl supports four local charities, and offers specials at bars on two routes: the Leprachaun (Dinger's, McNally's and Stadium Club) or the Emerald (Sean's Rhino Bar, Dinger's, McNally's). Coming from the North Side? Catch a bus ride ($5) from Mystic Celt or Fado at 12:30 p.m.
Celebrity Basketball featuring Bow Wow and Nelly
5 p.m. Sunday at UIC Pavilion; $10-$100; buy tickets
Forget Derrick Rose and the Bulls; come to UIC to see some real hoops action with ... Bow Wow and Nelly. They'll lead teams of celebrities in an exhibition of hoops skills and (we're assuming) some musical performances. Teairra Mari sings the national anthem.