You could be this guy...if you really want to.

It's September...and we haven't seen the good side of 70 degrees in about a week. It's enough to make you want to move to Hawaii, right? Well, before you make such a rash decision (it's not like you can surf), test the waters with a slightly less taxing trip.

Tonight, Stone Lotus hosts its first-ever luau, complete with beach-themed drinks like the Bikini Martini (Absolut Citron, Malibu coconut rum, grenadine and pineapple juice, $7), Shark Bite (shot of Malibu coconut rum, grenadine, amaretto and orange juice, $7) and Big Kahuna (Malibu coconut rum, grenadine and Sprite, $20 for unlimited 24oz pours). If you're a high roller, you can get bottle service including a bottle each of Malibu and Absolut for $150. The lounge's waterfall will also be in full effect.

The fun starts at 10 p.m. with a private reception sponsored by, you guessed it, Malibu and Absolut. RSVP to faith@stonelotuslounge.com for free entry before midnight. It's $20 without the RSVP. Oh, and make sure to dress in your finest grass skirt. You'll feel like you're miles away from Chicago...'til you have to catch a cab home, at least.