Not that we're advocating this, of course. But this spring has been extra-cold, extra-tenacious, extra-annoying, and tonight's forecast calls for — better sit down — snow. Grrrrrrrr. As Hunter S. Thompson once wrote, it's time to collect the knives.
This Friday, however, we're supposed to get close to 80 and, well, aren't you due for a mental health day? Or, go ahead, feel young — call it playing hooky! Here are three things we love about that ...
1. Lying on Facebook
Don't let the social networking trip you up! Use your head: If you just called the boss and spun some story about the long night you spent ralphing or the crazy cold that came on you so suddenly, don't update your status an hour later to this: "Jane Doe is on the beach — and on her third margarita!" It's a tangled World Wide Web we weave; someone's bound to see your page or simply snitch on you, and people have been fired for this. Either fudge the tweets and Facebooking ("John Doe is meh.") or take a real holiday and just leave the stupid CrackBerry at home.
2. Being utterly unproductive
Weekend schedules sometimes are their own stern mistress — errands, groceries, family time, the honey-do list — but an unexpected day off is a diem to carpe. Do not contribute to society while playing hooky (but please do that on Earth Day!). It's only a mental health day if you relax, de-stress and get off the train (literally and figuratively). Ride these L's instead: Lounge around. Lay about, lie back. Lurk. Lag. Lollygag. Turn lazy into a verb: to laze. Find a lanai, and be listless.
3. Not working
Times are perilous, layoffs are imminent, money is tight. But one day of R&R and good times can be all you need to remember one very important fact even in the face of adversity: You are not your job. (Go on, finish that quotation — "You are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your f---ing khakis." Make it your new mantra. Just don't start punching imaginary people late at night ...)
HEY YOU GOT THREE BETTER ONES?
Tell us your favorite three things about playing hooky!