Riot Fest Through Sunday, various theaters, prices vary ($70 for a three-day pass to Congress Theater)
Several rockin' shows (not to mention a bowling tourney) are spread out across five venues (Congress Theater, Metro, Subterranean, Double Door, Cobra Lounge) during this fifth-annual fest. We're talking mosh-inducing rock and punk including Chicago's own Screeching Weasel, NOFX, Alkaline Trio, Naked Raygun and more. Oi!
Remember the classic Camper Van Beethoven song, "Take the Skinheads Bowling"? The organizers of this year's fifth annual Riot Fest do, and they're taking the directive to heart.
In addition to the fest's strong lineup of punk acts (performers include Screeching Weasel, Alkaline Trio, Naked Raygun, NOFX and more), there will be a "Drunken Bowling Tournament" on Friday and Saturday night at the Fireside Bowl. Members of many of the bands will be hitting the lanes for some friendly competition with the fans.
Registration for bowlers appears to be closed, but it'll cost just $3 to join the fun as a spectator. You'll get drink specials, giveaways, and the chance to see a hardcore dude use bumper lanes. The tournament starts at 10:30 p.m. on both nights, so you won't have to miss any of the shows.
Make Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket proud on Saturday. (via talklikeapirate.com)
Shiver me timbers! Is it International Talk Like a Pirate Day again already? Seems like just last month we were shouting "avast!" at unsuspecting children. No matter. Come this Saturday, September 19, we'll be ready to parrrrrty. To make sure you arrrre too, we've compiled a list of ways to celebrate like a true pirate. Use at your own risk:
Storm one of the many ships cruising the Chicago River and demand to see the "plank." If you can't afford the tour fee, or you're prone to seasickness, just do the same thing at the ship-shaped El Barco.
Heckle the parrotheads at the Landshark Lager Oyster Fest (sponsored by Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville Brewing). Actually, we'd suggest this any year.
Try to count all the decorative birds at Lakeview's Parrots. "One! Two! Three! Fourrrrrrr!"
Run aimlessly through noted parrot-haven Hyde Park in full buccaneer gear, calling desperately for your lost pal "Arrrrchie."
Head to the Cubs game armed with some Willie Stargell quotes. See who gets the joke. (Make sure to stop into the Captain Morgan Club to order a noggin o' rum.)
Hit the barrrr. Actually, five of 'em. The Booty Pub Crawl (beginning at 8 p.m. on Saturday, $20) starts at McGee's and moves on to Wrightwood Tap, Durkin's, Duffy's and Redmond's. A buffet, rum punch and domestic drafts are included in the price, and a free trolley will be your vessel for the night.
Learn how pirates really talked. The eye patch-obsessed Field Museum will be hosting all sorts of activities from 10 a.m.-3 p.m., including treasure hunts, sword-fighting performances and even an appearance from Navy Pier's mascot, Patch the Pirate Dog. Kids are encouraged to dress up - and we guess parents can, too. Free w/museum admission.
If an event were to include even two of these things, we know you'd be scrambling for tickets. Next Friday's Lucha Va Voom event at the Congress Theater has all three (plus, possibly, midgets). The touring spectacle has been featured in numerous publications and on "Jimmy Kimmel Live," and included appearances from the likes of Jack Black, Robin Williams and Patton Oswalt...and now it's finally coming to Chicago.
Tickets range from $25-$60, but we have three pairs to give away! To be entered in the drawing, send a direct message with your namemessage with the words "Sign me up for the Lucha Va Voom ticket contest!" to Centerstage via Twitter by this Friday, September 11, at 3 p.m.
African Festival of the Arts All day Friday-Monday, Washington Park (51st and Cottage Grove), $5-10 or $30 for a weekend pass
The 20th installment of this immensely popular South Side festival finishes with a bang as the "Godfather of Funk" himself, George Clinton, headlines on Monday. Leading up to that, check out acts like The Pharcyde and Booker T. Jones (Saturday), Ahmad Jamaal and the Soukous Stars (Sunday). There's also a kids tent and a food court with traditional African fare.
The NFL season doesn’t start for another week. But if you’re already sick of football, take advantage of the Four Seasons Hotel Chicago “Getaway from the Gridiron Package,” available starting Sept. 13 (Bears opener) through Super Bowl Sunday. The $175 package includes a 55-minute massage, a spa lunch (read: no beer or brats), a pool/fitness club passport and a free make-up application session at Bloomingdale’s.
Might as well relax a bit. It’s gonna be a loooong season.
Sorry Mike, no smoking, even in your own restaurant.
Try this: eat a steak and baked potato, then go out and play a fast-paced game of basketball. Sounds tough, right? Apparently, that's exactly what soon-to-be Hall of Famer Michael Jordan did on the reg. He really is superhuman.
West Loop restaurant one sixtyblue (partly owned by MJ himself) celebrates His Airness's September 11 induction by offering the meal that the star supposedly ate before every contest. The Pre-Game Ritual Dinner includes a 14-ounce, prime aged Delmonico rib eye smothered with caramelized shallots and served with a baked potato and steamed broccoli for $39. Wash it all down with Jordan's favorite cocktail, a margarita with cranberry juice ($8).
The deal runs from September 7-12, so get there while it lasts. Just remember not to eat with your tongue hanging out -- and wait at least 30 minutes before dunking.
The next Bulls star? Or just your lunch companion?
Dwyane Wade is coming to Chicago....to eat steak.
While the Miami Heat star guard may not be joining his hometown Bulls just yet, you'll have a chance to talk him into the idea during the latest installment of Lunch with a Legend at Morton's Wacker Drive location on Wednesday, September 9. For $50, you'll get a three course meal including a salad (Caesar or Morton's house salad), entree (single cut filet with mashed potatoes, chicken Christopher with mashed potatoes or salmon filet with garlic green beans) and chocolate mousse for dessert. Nonalcoholic drinks are also included, and Waddle and Silvy will be broadcasting live on ESPN 1000 beginning at noon. The lunch starts at 11 a.m.; reserve your spot by calling (312) 201-0464.
So your fantasy football draft is coming up next week, and you think you're ready. You've done all the research on sleeper picks and injury risks. You've got your cheat sheet printed out, checked your wi-fi connection more than once, and stocked the fridge with beer. All set, right? Um, no. If you're going to have upwards of 10 football enthusiasts in your house for three solid hours, you'd better have some food on hand.
Enter Wicker Park's Smoke Daddy, whose new "Pig in a Box" promotion will please pigskin fans with -- you guessed it -- pork. Make that lots of pork. For $48, you'll get four sections of baby back ribs, eight spare ribs, six rib tips, one pound of pork, six buns and two pints of side items (sweet potato fries, smoked pit beans, mac 'n' cheese, etc.). We'd recommend at least two orders for a full league gathering -- we'd also recommend ordering a day in advance. Actually, that's what they require to prepare such a meaty feast. And it'll be worth it, trust us. Just make sure you're not so distracted by BBQ that you end up drafting a kicker in the third round.
Bicycle Film Festival Through Sunday in various venues, $10 per screening, $25 for a festival pass
Bike, movie and art enthusiasts come together for this five-day show throughout the city. Some of the highlights (full schedule here) include Thursday's Joyride Art Show (6 p.m. at the MCA Warehouse), Friday's Fun Bike Shorts (9 p.m. at Columbia College) and Saturday's afterparty at the Empty Bottle with DJs Matt ROAN and E-Six (9 p.m., free with movie admission).
Runners rock past the Alamo during 2008's Rock 'n' Roll Marathon in San Antonio.
It's rare to see a runner without a pair of headphones these days. But you'll see plenty of empty ears during next weekend's Rock 'n' Roll Half-Marathon, because the course will be full of musical entertainment, from the starting line village at Columbus & Congress to the waterfront bikepath near 31st avenue. Local acts include Jeff Manga, Boho Paisley, Thinner Teed and more.
Even if you're not running (the August 2 event is sold out), this event offers a chance to see musicians awake well before their usual rousing time (the first set begins at 6:30 a.m. in Grant Park). And of course, you can cheer on all the people who are participating, including two-time 5,000-meter champion Kara Goucher, who will have cameras on her throughout the entire race. Make sure to stick around for the post-race concert at 10:30 a.m. in Grant Park, headlined by blues vet Susan Tedeschi.
For more information on the schedule and live entertainment, visit the race website.
Built to Spill headlines Pitchfork on Friday night.
Pitchfork Music Festival Friday-Sunday at Union Park; $35/day
If you don't know about the country's most consistently interesting fest (yeah, we said it), get learnin'. This year's lineup features a who's who of indie music, from Built to Spill and Yo La Tengo on Friday (doing request-driven sets, no less) to The National, The Black Lips and Lindstrom on Saturday, to Grizzly Bear and The Flaming Lips on Sunday. Add to that a ton of cool vendors and, for once, mild weather, and you've got a recipe for an amazing musical weekend. Check out Centerstage's schedule picks and plan where to eat around the park.
Where the boys are Part I
Chicago Sport and Social Club celebrates 20 years with its Volleywood Beach Bash from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Saturday at North Beach, 1600 N. Lake Shore. Teams will be competing (make new friends and cheer on your favorites). Live music kicks off at noon, and MC Hammer will perform at some point. The 21-and-over party is free. More info: www.chicagosocial.com.
Where the boys are Part II Old St. Pat’s World’s Largest Block Party (Madison and Desplaines). The annual event is a bona fide “meet” market. Which is a good thing, because our dance card still isn’t full. Ben Folds rocks the mainstage at 8:30 p.m. Saturday. Admission is $40 (includes five drink tickets good for beer, wine soda or water). Ages 21 and over. Call (312) 648-1590 or visit www.worldslargestblockparty.com.
Where the boys are Part III
Offer to share both your blanket and your picnic for two at the Grant Park Music Festival in Millennium Park (201 E. Randolph). Christopher Bell conducts the Grant Park Orchestra in selections from Gilbert and Sullivan at 7:30 p.m. Free. Call (312) 742-7638.
HEY! YOU GOT THREE BETTER ONES?
Tell us your three favorite things about being single in the city!
Chicago Sport and Social Club celebrates 20 years of nurturing your nasty competitive streak with Saturday's Volleywood Beach Bash on North Avenue Beach. The main event? A live performance from the legendary MC Hammer, who'll be bringing his backup dancers for a throwback show featuring all his classic hits. DJs Matt Roan and Whiteshadow also spin, and there will be a volleyball tournament and other interactive games for those who are too legit to quit playing. If you just want to relax, food and beverages will be available -- it's the only day of the year you can drink on the beach!
The party (noon-7 p.m.) is free, but you must reserve a ticket , which is good for you and one guest. Don't forget your Hammer pants...
Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade noon Sunday at Halsted and Belmont; free
Floats, bands, politicians and hundreds of thousands of people invade Boystown for a summer event unlike any other. Midwestern friendliness – not to mention colorful costumes, dancing and drunkenness – will be on full display at this rowdy event, the highlight of a weekend of Pride parties (including Pride Fest).
As if tempers don’t get heated enough during the Crosstown Classic (City Series, Red Line War, whatever you want to call Cubs-Sox), MyWrigleyville.com has a new game to fan the flames. The goal is to hit Sox manager Ozzie Guillen with as many baseballs as possible in 15 seconds (hint: you get more points if you hit him in the crotch). The top score each week wins a free Wrigley rooftop pass for an upcoming game.
David Cross and Bob Odenkirk bring back the magic of "Mr. Show" to the Lakeshore Theater.
Just For Laughs Chicago Through Sunday
David Cross. Bob Odenkirk. Michael Ian Black. Michael Showalter. George Lopez. Jimmy Fallon. Andy Dick. David Alan Grier. Bill Engvall. Lisa Lampanelli. Patrice O'Neal. All these big names will be gracing Chicago stages this weekend, some more than once, as part of this TBS-sponsored fest. As much as we hate to reference those annoying commercials, this event promises to be "very funny."
We told you recently about the Dew Tour, which brings BMX bike fun to Grant Park June 26-27. Well, here's some more big news about the event.
Headlining the Friday-evening (5:30 p.m.) concert in Grant Park will be...Lupe Fiasco. It will be the only Chicago appearance this summer for the rapper.
The concert is free, though there will be a reserved viewing area for those with Tour tickets.
FESTIVAL SHOPPING
The Randolph Street Market Festival, home of the Chicago Antique and Indie Designer markets, returns this weekend for monthly stints. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday this weekend and then the last weekend of each month through September. Admission to the market, bounded by Washington, Ada, Randolph and Ogden, is $10 for both days, $5 for students; children age 12 and younger are free. Featured will be live music, food vendors and shopping. Regular trolleys run from Water Tower Place, 835 N. Michigan. Call (312) 666-1200.
The Dew Tour's Nike 6.0 BMX Open (that's a lotta sponsorship right there) comes to Grant Park this summer The event (June 26-27) will feature BMX park, dirt and vert competitions, as well as a free Friday-night concert and a Festival Village featuring athlete autograph signings, giveaways and interactive courses.
Want to go, but don't have the cash? Through Sunday, May 17, tickets in the Reserved ($15) and Action Zone ($50) sections are buy one, get one half-off. Visit the Web site for details.
(Photo: 
Built to Spill headlines Pitchfork on Friday night.
