David Letterman's Top 10 list last night, from the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska...
10. Greets guests with, "Uh, what do you want?"
9. When Dr. Phil's name comes up, Oprah mutters, "Quack."
8. Instead of "woo hoo," can only muster a "woo."
7. Dumped Stedman for that "Jon and Kate" dude.
6. Yesterday's show was Oprah watching an episode of "Tyra."
5. Hosts program in sweatpants and Tweety Bird T-shirt.
4. Friday show now entirely devoted to her college and pro football picks.
3. "Oprah's Book Club" now "Oprah's Bookie Club" (that's barely a joke, we promise to do better in the new year).
2. Today's topic: "Oprah takes a nap."
1. Last three guests were Johnnie Walker, Jim Beam and Jose Cuervo.