Rick Telander and Rick Morrissey share their thoughts

Usain Bolt Should Be a Wide Receiver in the NFL

| No Comments | No TrackBacks

After watching Jamaica's Usain Bolt zip to the 100 meter gold last night in an Olympic record time, I had an evening to ponder this cheerful, self-centered blur. At 6-5, muscular, with long arms and legs, this guy should be running fly patterns in the NFL.
No matter that he might not be able to catch beach balls with stick-um gloves, just think of the separation from DBs he could get. But even that is not the main reason why he should have that fabulous name ``BOLT'' on the back of his NFL jersey (and wouldn't the San Diego Chargers like that?)
No, it's because Bolt has a wide receiver's mentality. A wide receiver's personality. He loves the limelight. He makes funny gestures, poses, preens, parades. He celebrates everything he does. His little running-finger movements before the 100-meters was hilarious and something even a child could understand. (Again, a prerequisite of the grand wide receiver: simplistic, symbolic language akin to the international silhouettes on bathroom doors and road signs.)
Jim Hines was an Olympic 100meter champ and world record holder, and he failed miserably as an NFL wideout. But he was shy, smaller, and had the hands of Captain Hook. Bolt is already better than that. He catches every accolade that comes his way.

No TrackBacks

TrackBack URL: http://blogs.suntimes.com/cgi-bin/mt-tb.cgi/48809

Leave a comment

Categories

Twitter updates

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Rick Telander published on August 6, 2012 9:38 AM.

Ellis Coleman falls was the previous entry in this blog.

Beauty is in the eye of the ... is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.