By Joe Henricksen

What Cliff Alexander is really thinking

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As Curie star Cliff Alexander finishes up his round of official visits this weekend at Illinois, followers of Big Cliff's Twitter account will be looking at their phones intently over the next few weeks.

The big fella, who has set Nov. 16 as his decision date, has enjoyed the recruiting process and had fun with it. So why shouldn't we?

The City/Suburban Hoops Report takes a look at Big Cliff's real tweets over the past several months and breaks each one down with their true, intent and meaning (wink-wink) behind them. Have some fun, please.


7/12/13 Retweet "At Waffle House with my brother @humblekid11"
(Translation/Real Thought: I really like waffles.)


7/14/13 "Might be taking my 5th official to Kentucky or Florida"
(Translation/Real Thought: Even though I have no real plan to visit either one officially, that's gotta be good for picking up a 1,000-plus followers. Ha!")


7/18/13 "Today stats: 68 new followers, 9 new unfollowers"
(Translation/Real Thought: Good day for me in the Twitter world")


7/31/13 "Confused"
(Translation/Real Thought: Forget about the confusion this choosing a college thing brings, I only picked up 13 followers this week!?!?!? What's up?)


8/7/13 "Who got 6th period lunch at Curie?"
(Translation/Real Thought: Yes, I may be a NBA Lottery Pick 20 months from now, but I'm still a kid who looks forward to hanging with my friends at a lunch table at school!)


8/9/13 "30 shot he aint healing more back lil herb got off "
(Translation/Real Thought: Pretty sure I just confused 99 percent of my twitter followers with that one!")


8/11/13 Retweet "When you have talent like @humblekid11 you could go to Rhode Island and be lottery. So really, only 1 school is league and legend. #ILL"
(Translation/Real Thought: You know what? Maybe I WILL give that a try! Where do I sign, Tracy Dildy!?!?! Chicago State here I come!")


8/17/13 "Good morning"
(Translation/Real Thought: How crazy is it that 9,220 people today even read or care about me saying Good Morning to them? #GoodToBeMe)


8/18/13 "In church today thanking The Lord"
(Translation/Real Thought: Dear Lord: Thank you for making me a 6-8 physical freak made of Adamantium and for giving me the potential to take care of my family through this game of basketball!)


8/21/13 "I don't care about the rankings ... They are just someone's opinion on you"
(Translation/Real Thought: Tell me again why I'm NOT ranked No. 1? Puh-leaze!)


8/22/13 "My view at the trump towers (with photo overlooking the Chicago River and the city lights)"
(Translation/Real Thought: Whoa! This is a way better view than looking out the Horse Research Farm from my I-Hotel window in Champaign! Dang, wish Allstate Arena was this nice!)


8/24/13 "Eating steak for dinner tonight"
(Translation/Real Thought: Hmmmmm, no way they have a better steakhouse in Lawrence, Champaign, Memphis, East Lansing or Tucson than they do in Chicago. DePaul does have Chicago Cut and Gibson's going for it!)


8/25/13 "I gotta feed my family"
(Translation/Real Thought: Are they really going to make me go to college for one year? Dumba** rule."


8/25/13 "Ima lose alot of followers when I commit"
(Translation/Real Thought: Maybe I won't sign in November and keep them coming back for more until I sign in April!)


9/1/13 "Leron is not a 4 he's a 3"
(Translation/Real Thought: My subtle way of putting Illinois fans in a tizzy!)


9/3/13 "These curie girls ain't nothing else better to do they need a life"
(Translation/Real Thought: Thank goodness I have me a college girl!)


9/5/13 "Today stats: 61 followers, 13 unfollowers"
(Translation/Real Thought: Just lost 13 more Louisville fans on twitter.")


9/8/13 "I am not on Illinois campus it's just a big rumor"
(Translation/Real Thought: That should let us get around town now a little more easy, @JayTate_1. Now lets go pick up that pizza at Papa Del's.")

9/12/13 "Take a official visit to U of I Oct. 26 #TurnUp"
(Translation/Real Thought: That should rile up this state! How many more followers is THAT tweet going to get me?)


9/12/13 "I realized there are so many fake ppl in this world ..."
(Translation/Real Thought: Oh, shoot! No, no, no, not you Jerrance or Paris or Billy G ... Oh, great. Now I have them all worried I'm tweeting about them. I'm talking Miley Cyrus!)


9/18/13 "Bout to finish up my homework"
(Translation/Real Thought: Y'all quit worrying! I'm going to qualify!")


9/22/13 Retweet "Cliff Alexander is a GROWN MAN #OneAndDone"
(Translation/Real Thought: Damn, straight!)


9/25/13 "Today stats: 31 followers, 38 unfollowers"
(Translation/Real Thought: Uh-oh. About time I stir things back up again with a wild tweet.)


9/30/13 "at the airport in Indonesia."
(Translation/Real Thought: Why aren't THEY recruiting me?)


9/30/13 Retweet "If @humblekid11 doesn't commit to Kansas this weekend, I think the Illini are in there like swim wear."
(Translation/Real Thought: I love dorky white people's cleverness.)


9/30/13 "Cliff Alexander commits to ... NO WHERE ... :-) :-) :-)"
(Translation/Real Thought: I absolutely LOVE this! I love messin' with these crazy people. ... But, dang, I am going to have to actually make a decision sometime soon, aren't I?)


9/30/13 "Back in the states"
(Translation/Real Thought: Wait, the NBA is actually interested in overseas expansion? Hope they wait 15 more years.)


10/2/13 Retweet "@humblekid11 what an unstoppable player perfect fit in an izzo type of game. he'll turn him into a top player. get it done #BleedGreeen#msu#izzo"
(Translation/Real Thought: "OK, sure. But wasn't Adreian Payne a 6-10, five-star, top 20 recruit who's still playing in college as a senior? I'm sure East Lansing and the Izzone is great and all, but come on ... 4 years!?!?!?)


10/2/13 Retweet "Only if my life was like people think it is People assume I got the perfect life or I get whatever I want Nah it's a story behind everything."
(Translation/Real Thought: If these people that follow me only knew!")


10/4/13 "Can't wait Til the season start"
(Translation/Real Thought: I love you like a brother @BigJah22, but I'm coming at you and proving I'm the best damn player in the city, the state and the country.)


10/4/13 "Just touchdown in Lawrence"
(Translation/Real Thought: Speaking of touchdown, you know a college football program is bad when you fly over their stadium and they still have a track around the field. Why IS Kansas football so bad?")


10/6/13 "I need to change my number again to many ppl got it"
(Translation/Real Thought: I know deep down I'm liking and enjoying the hype and attention, but it's official: These reporters, bloggers, website operators and recruiting service people have reached the annoying stage and are driving me crazy.)


10/7/13 "TOP 5 schools in NO ORDER!!!"
(Translation/Real Thought: I do have an order, fools, but you really think I'm putting it out there to y'all? Now give me some more love!!!!)


10/8/13 "I will be making my college decision on ESPN November 20th tune in"
(Translation/Real Thought: Even though I'm going to change the date in, oh, a couple of hours, that tweet should go viral and I can do it all over again in a bit #DrivingThemCrazy.)


10/8/13 "Change of date. November 16th my birthday I will make my college decision"
(Translation/Real Thought: Pysche! Now retweet that!)


10/8/13 "Today stats: 332 followers, 36 unfollowers"
(Translation/Real Thought: Bingo! 332 new followers! I knew that commitment date tweet would draw them in! But those followers down in the Bluegrass State keep dropping like flies!)


10/11/13 "Sosa go crazy on every song"
(Translation/Real Thought: They're not stupid enough to think this has anything to do with Sammy Sosa, is there? Oh, boy, guess I should have included #ChiefKeef to avoid confusion.)


10/13/13 "Thinking ...."
(Translation/Real Thought: All these people out there thinking that I'm thinking what school do I want to go to? What coach do I want to play for? What's really important to me in finding the right college basketball program? But I'm just sitting here at the McDonald's counter thinking, "What should I order?")


10/14/13 "Man I just cracked my phone"
(Translation/Real Thought: If it weren't for these stupid NCAA rules I'm sure one of these college coaches would buy me a new one.")


10/15/13 Retweet "jahlil okafor is way to overrated, seen him twice, he can't play against good talent. Cliff Alexander is alot better"
(Translation/Real Thought: Hey, Jahlil! It's not ME saying this! Just some random dude! But Big Cliff -- yes, I can talk in first person once in awhile --  will have one of those "By the way, in case you didn't know, I AM THE NO. 1 PLAYER" moments or two this coming season. Just so you know.)


10/16/13 "I really need to change my number... Some random white dude just called me on FaceTime."
(Translation/Real Thought: Wait a minute! I know that guy from somewhere ... Was that Dr. Ron Bradley, the associate head coach at DePaul?")


10/22/13 "Durk got off in bangbros"
(Translation/Real Thought: I do wonder what my followers think when they follow my tweets. I mean like right here: Are they wondering if Durk or Bangbros have anything to do with basketball or recruiting whatsoever? I'm going to send the majority of these fans of mine on Twitter on a google search with that tweet and they will all be disappointed they wasted their time looking up a rapper from Chicago.)


Follow Joe Henricksen and the Hoops Report on Twitter @joehoopsreport

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This page contains a single entry by Joe Henricksen published on October 26, 2013 10:51 AM.

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