Scratch Crib

Redneck White and Blue

2008-07-04T19:13:23Z

1:10 p.m. July 4

Steve McGranahan is a real firecracker.
But he's not the type of dude you might invite to your Fourth of July barbecue.
He can bend a frying pan with his bare hands. He also breaks 30 pound cinder blocks over his head with a sledgehammer. Who hasn't wanted to try that?
McGranahan is 6' tall and weighs 343 pounds.
He is an old-timey strong man, a slab of Redneck, White and Blue Americana.
McGranahan is billed as "The World's Strongest Redneck," and here's a video snippet of our meeting last Saturday before he performed before a Joliet Jackhammers baseball game at Silver Cross Field in suburban Joliet:

Yes, it was "Redneck Weekend" at the ballpark.............

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.....Ironically, Merle Haggard was singing "Okie From Muskogee," a block away from the ballpark at the historic Rialto Theatre. More than 1,000 loaves of bread were given to fans leaving the game. Jackhammer manager Wally Backman participated in "Cowpatty Bingo," courtesy of Norma the Cow.
Many folks came to the game to catch a glane of McGranahan, who has appeared on CMT's "Country Fried Home Videos" and "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno." Keith Ling, 12, reached over a railing to obtain an autograph from "The World's Strongest Redneck."
"I see him on CMT and he's funny," said Ling, who attended the game with his father Randy. They live in Channahon, near Joliet. "There's not a redneck culture out here," said Randy, a 51-year-old development scientist for a microbology lab.
That sure ain't redneck.
Before the game McGranahan reasoned, "I destroy household objects for a living." He picked up a quarter-inch-thick six inch long steel nail (although with his redneck drawl he called it a 'needle.') And he bent the nail, quite effortlessly.
McGranahan, 44, is from Durham, N.C. He is based out of New Castle, Pa. Before becoming a full time redneck, he was an aide at the New Castle Youth Development Center for adjudicated delinquent males. "The East Coast has its comedy and the West Coast has its comedy, but nobody is doing motivational strong man comedy for the rest of America," McGranahan explained. "Until now. There's probably about 10 strong men in the world who put on a good show. I ask kids, 'What's a nail made for?' They go, 'To hold things together.' I say, 'That's what the laws in the streets are for. They hold us together. We can't bend the rules in life.' Then every time they see a nail they're gonna' remember what the fat bald-headed man said."
McGranahan is Jeff Foxworthy, lock, stock and barrel.
"People ask me, 'Who is stronger than the 'World's Strongest Redneck?,'" he said. "I tell them, 'A 110 pound wife.' With his 22-inch wide arms, 'The World's Strongest Redneck' picked up his steel carrying case and headed to the outfield. The mood was light. And he had some heavy lifting to do.

Searching for Columbus Ohio

2008-07-02T22:47:30Z

4:45 p.m. July 2

One of the many things I don’t know in life is a daughter’s love of her father.
One of the things on my summer must-do list was to see Cooper Stadium in Columbus, Ohio for the last time.
Next year the Columbus Clippers of baseball’s International League are moving to a new downtown stadium. More fans have seen minor league baseball at "The Coop" than any other ballpark in history. Cooper was built in 1932 as Red Bird Stadium. It was the first stadium built with lights. FDR launched his presidential campaign in the yellow-bricked ballpark. Bob Dylan played Cooper twice.
It was the first place I saw a baseball game.............

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....During the mid-1960s my father took me to see the Columbus Jets at what was then called Jet Stadium. That was a different time. I still have my metal "Junior Jets Columbus Baseball Club" button. The team was named the Jets because America was enamored with the space race. John Glenn was from Ohio and workers from the Curtis Wright Aviation Plant gave birth to the Columbus suburb of Worthington.
In 1965 the Jets had a star first baseman named Frank “Pancho” Herrera.

I was just 10 years old but the presence of this 6’3” 220 pound Cuban in mostly white Columbus began to illustrate the worlds away from my ranch house on North Star Road.
Unlike any other sport, baseball can create personal attatchments through a long summer. I followed every at bat of Pancho and other members of the then-Pittsburgh Pirates farm club, such as ex-Cub "Sad" Sam Jones, who enjoyed pitching with a toothpick in his mouth.
So on Monday night I returned to Columbus to watch the induction of Pancho Herrera in the International League Hall of Fame. At least that’s what it says here.
Maybe I was looking for the boy I used to be.
Pancho died in 2005 in Miami, Fla. He was 71.
His 51-year-old daughter Irene lives in Miami and flew to Columbus to accept the honor in her father’s behalf. During a pre-game on field ceremony she smiled and kissed a golden trophy that was given to her by International League President Randy Mobley. During the game she told me how much her father loved playing in Columbus. I told her I came to the game just for the induction. Her eyes widened. I cannot tell if she was happy or if she thought I was strange.
Back in the 1960s you could see a cemetery beyond the ballpark's left field fence. Today tall green trees eclipse the graveyard. I knew I was older, but not like this. When I was a kid in Columbus, I couldn’t get enough of “Beatles ‘65,” the first record album I owned. On this road trip I listened to Lilly Allen’s “Smile.” [And kudos to XM Radio for saluting Canada’s birthday by spot-checking Canadian “rock” artists like the Poppy Family’s 1969 hit “Which Way You Going Billy? Who knew they were from Vancouver?]
Its not nostalgia if it makes you feel new.
"We rented a farm when we lived here," Irene recalled. "It was exciting. Jose' Martinez was the only other Cuban on the team. He lived with us. We called him 'Uncle.' After Columbus my Mom wanted to go back to Miami. My father taught baseball there until the day he died. He and other retired Cuban baseball players like Paul Casanova, Tony Perez and Tony Taylor (ex-Cub) created their own little academy in the middle of the city. They adored my father in Cuba."
Irene recalled that when she was a child her father would take her to practice. She would sit on his shoulders where she would toss baseballs to his teammates. Pancho played in Columbus from 1963 through 1966, which is a long stint in one city for a minor league player.
Irene's grandfather started calling the slugger "Pancho Herreon," which roughly translated means "Home Run." This year the International League celebrates its 125th anniversary. (It once had a team in Havana). Pancho is one of only three players to lead the league in home runs three times.
Pancho had the proverbial cup-of-coffee in the big leagues in 1958, 1960 and 1961. He played for the Philadelphia Phillies where in 1960 he set the then-National League record for striking out 136 times. In 1952 Pancho was a teammate of should-be Baseball Hall of Famer Buck O'Neil on the Kansas City Monarchs of the Negro American League. Pancho last appeared in the major leagues in 1962.

"At the end of his life he worked at the Miami Airport with Jackie Hernandez and some other Cuban ballplayers and they had a good time.," Irene said with a bright smile. Pancho Herrera's oldest daughter spent two days in Columbus taking in the games and the memories. She wants to come back next year for the opening of the new ballpark. This much I know: a daughter's love of her father never grows dim.

Toronto, More Than a Game

2008-06-13T22:28:32Z

5:25 p.m. (local) June 13 TORONTO, Ont.---Jay Spillane, my old counselor at the Matchbox in Chicago, used to say how you didn't have to be a baseball fan to enjoy a baseball road trip. He argued the game only takes a few hours and you and your significant other can spend the rest of the time exploring a city.
I had to get out of town a couple of days because people were breaking me down, in the words of Texas Ranger outfielder Milton Bradley. I'm in his corner.
And Toronto was the perfect tonic.
The Cubs (the best team in baseball) are here. I don't expect them to do well on this domed/Astroturf road trip, but Toronto already has been very very good to me......

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....I left Chicago after Wednesday night's Cubs game, got a cheap Patel Cartel motel room in New Buffalo, Mich. and made it to Detroit in time to see the Tigers beat the White Sox 2-1 in a quick battle of two crafty lefties (Kenny Rogers and Mark Buehrle).
Lots of Sox fans there and they were as surly as they are in Chicago.
"I'm on my way to Toronto to see the Cubs," I told a fellow right field grandstander in a White Sox replica jersey with his mother in a White Sox jersey. "But I'll root for the Sox today."
They just stared at me like I had stopped their elevator. I wasn't even wearing Cubs stuff.

Fueled up by Tim Horton coffee I roared down Canada's 401 East and got to Toronto by 9 p.m. Thursday, in time to catch two fine bands at North by Northeast, Canada's version of South by Southwest in Austin, Tx.
Do what you can to find the music of Alex Cuba. A transplant from Cuba into rural Vancouver, B.C. he blends flamenco-influenced guitar with Cuban rhythms and neo-soul. His independent release "Agua del Pozo" (Water From The Well)" has hit No. 1 on the iTunes U.S. Latin Tropical Chart. (His label is Caracol). I saw him solo acoustic at a place called the Tattoo Rock Parlor, 567 Queen St. West. The upscale music venue also features a large tattoo parlor. Now there's a great idea.
Earlier, down the street at the wonderfully named Bovine Sex Club, 542 Queen St. West I loved the Brown Hornets. I was in the back of the narrow room and not taking notes since on a "vacation day." There were at least four dudes in the Toronto-based band and they mixed hard country with feisty punk and gospel. The lead singer had pure pop vocals in the style of Canadian Bob Seagrini and he played keyboards. I loved this band as much as I loved the tiny club decked out in Christmas lights, body odor and empty Jagermeister bottles. It seems everyone in Toronto drinks Jagermeister. I wanted to stay for more but Alex Cuba was calling.
My excellent friend Michelle from 15 years ago scored me a room at the Renaissance Hotel next to the Rogers Center (formerly the Skydome) with a view and window overlooking center field. This was unexpected. I heard about these rooms when Skydome opened in 1989 and people messed around and got nekkid in full view of the game.
Words cannot describe what it is like to open the curtains in the morning and see a major league baseball field. Right now the Cubs are taking batting practice to a soundtrack that includes Alice Cooper's "School's Out" and Deep Purple's "Hush."
My window opens up so I gotta go and scream some pitching tips to Jason Marquis.

Hard Rock Park Update

2008-06-03T20:00:15Z

3:05 p.m. (local) June 3---
CHARLOTTE, N.C.--- Delayed at the Charlotte Douglas International Airport which gives me ample time to reminisce about "Nights in White Satin: The Trip" ride I took last night at the new Hard Rock Park in Myrtle Beach, S.C.
The psychedelic inspired journey is what industry folks call a "Dark Ride" which dates back to 1800s "scenic railways" and Futurama at the 1939 New York World's Fair.
Think a "Tunnel of Love" boat ride.
Earlier in the day Moody Blues songwriter Justin Hayward told me he wrote the song about sex. The Hard Rock Park ride does not reflect that, although my pal Jen told me the first time she had sex was to "Nights in White Satin." So Justin, as our fearless leader has said, "Mission Accomplished."
As we boarded the "Trip" a friendly teenager handed us cardboard 3-D glasses........

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...I told the young man I had been doing 'shrooms.
I think he thought I was serious. He said, "Well you will enjoy the ride even more." We walked through a tilting glow-in-the-dark entry way that looks like some kind of futuristic security check at one of our great American airports. In fact I think I've seen this gateway at Sky Harbor in Phoenix, Az..
Just like a "Tunnel of Love," a total of 20 cozy cars are linked in pairs. Each car is equipped with high-fidelity on board audio which plays the epic 1967 hit "Nights in White Satin" complete with the trippy spoken word part I still don't understand. Can someone clarify?
We rode through green lasers, a gentle rainstorm and 14 images that are allleged metaphors from the song. But no images were naked. We didn't ride very fast which disappointed us. I would have liked one quick spin around or bump. The biggest jolt was being deposited into a Hard Rock Park gift shop as we disembarked.
Somewhere in the distance I hear my boarding call for for my flight back to Chicago.
Flying in America today----now there's a "Dark Ride."

Rock n' Roll Amusement Park

2008-06-02T18:47:45Z

1:50 p.m. June 2

MYRTLE BEACH, S.C.---In the long and winding road of rock n' roll tourism there's the Jungle Room at Graceland, the gravesite of Jim Morrison in Paris and Barney's Beanery on Route 66 in Los Angeles where Janis Joplin had her last stand. Straight. No chaser.
I've seen them all.
But nothing compares to the Monday morning grand opening of Hard Rock Park. Hearing Justin Hayward of the Moody Blues talk about the park's "Nights In White Satin: The Trip" ride is just plain weird.
The world's first rock n' roll theme park is just three miles from the Atlantic Ocean. The Eagles are playing the Grand Opening concert tonight at the 10,000 seat pavilion on the 55-acre park. The Moody Blues are playing tomorrow. The Nirvana line "Here We Are, Now Entertain Us" greets park guests over a Spanish-influenced archway.
I ran into Hayward while he was sitting in front of a small pub that faced the "Rock n' Roll Heaven" section of the park. I am not kidding.........

]]> ...Hayward said he was approached by Hard Rock as long as six years ago. [Hard Rock had never done an amusement park; HRP Myrtle Beach Operations owns and operates the theme park under a 10-year license agreement with Hard Rock International, according to Felix Mussenden, President and CEO of Hard Rock Park.] HRP wanted to use "Nights In White Satin" for light show effects.
I might have used "Ride My See-Saw."
Videos and sound were being synched up Monday morning and the indoor ride was dark. I will ride the trippy "Nights in White Satin" tonight and report later.
"I don't own the copyright to the song so I don't control it," Hayward told me. "I was one of those '60s boys who signed a lousy publishing contract. The Beatles and Elton did the same. I can't completely say 'yes or no' but I liked their idea."
The concept was shelved and resurfaced about 18 months ago. Hayward did ride "Nights In White Satin" on Sunday. "I liked it very much," he said. "Its kind of psychedelic but it's not my idea of the story of the song. But then my idea would be very dull and a bit X-rated and wouldn't belong in a family park. I only say that because I was 19 when I wrote it. I also like the fact that every day they seem to be tweaking and changing it. I know if I come back in two weeks I would see something slightly different."
I did spend part of my birthday riding the Eagles themed "Life in the Fast Lane" roller coaster.
It could have been worse. I could have been on "Tequila Sunrise."
The speedy coaster zig zags and jumps through an "abandoned" saw mill as "Life in the Fast Lane" plays out in the park's "Cool Country" section. There's great details like shadows of rats scampering across a saw mill wall before you embark into Joe Walshhville.
"Cool Country" isn't far from "Born in the U.S.A." which is anchored by a reproduction of the Statue of Liberty holding a Zippo lighter. The bottom of the statue features the Neil Young quote, "Rockin' In The Free World." The statue is near the pavilion where the Eagles will perform.
Before the concert I will spend time thinking up attractions the Hard Rock missed:
"Spinning Wheel," Blood Sweat and Tears
"Sweet Home Alabama," a scary indoors ride where rednecks travel to Chicago and New York.
"Riders on the Storm." Doors
"Drive My Car," the Beatles
BTW, Mussenden said the Beatles were approached about participating in the park, but their people are holding off with plans for a Beatles-themed park. Pink Floyd was approached as well, but declined. The park's centerpiece is the Led Zeppelin-themed "Whole Lotta Love" with a maximum speed of 65 MPH and 13 inches below the FAA envelope (essentially built as high as the FAA will alllow). Robert Plant screams "Woman. You need. Loooove" as the car falls from the height of 155 feet. Although Jimmy Plant was hands on in helping design the ride, no member of Led Zeppelin has been on it as of yet..
Neither have I. Maybe tonight.

Italy Diary, No. 2

2008-05-21T17:10:02Z

11:10 a.m. May 21

The Grand Hotel Santa Lucia in Naples is a regal place to stay. The 96-room hotel was built in 1906 with a dramatic view of the Bay of Naples and Mount Vesuvio in the distance.
I arrived at the hotel after a journey that encompassed a 9-hour flight from Chicago to Rome and then a 35 minute flight south to Naples. After such a long day of travel I like to stretch out in the bath tub.
I crumbled into the tiny white tub at the hotel. Directly to my right was one of those European bidets. Heard about 'em, never used 'em.
A good blogger is honest.
And I have to admit my eyesight isn't what it used to be. I need reading glasses to check out menus and to type this blog. But I don't wear glasses in the bathtub.
Without paying much attention I reached over to pick up the clear plastic bottle of "shampoo " that was sitting on the bidet. The liquid was as gold as honey. I rubbed the gel deep into my scalp. Such a sweet smell.
Two days later I examined the bottle closely in the beautiful sunlight.

The bottle read "Intimate Cleanser."
Man, that's assbackwards!

Italy Diary, No. 1

2008-05-20T15:58:40Z

5 a.m. May 18, over Venice, Italy---

Sometimes you look beneath what has been discarded.
A travel story took me to Naples and yesterday morning I wound up speaking to a group of journalism students at the University of Naples, located in a former monastery. I was part of a small group of American and Canadian travel writers and the students wondered about our impression of their city. With a metropolitan area population of roughly 3 million, Naples sizes up nicely with Chicago. But the cliffs, the bay and even the thing they call the Egg Castle (the 2,000-year-old Alcatraz-like fortress on an island ) reminded me of San Francisco. And I love San Francisco.
I liked Naples just fine........

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.....But the graduate students were preoccupied by imagery. There are piles of garbage on every corner. I had read the city was engaged in another of a long line of garbage strikes, but people told me the story was more complex. Work had stalled on an incinerator on the outskirts of Naples that was being built with mob (the Camorra) money. The money wasn't there.
And, according to a Jan. 14 Newsweek magazine report, the Camorra fills the dumps with garbage imported from northern Italy and other European countries There's no place for local garbage. The students told me attempts are now being made to ship the city's garbage (lots of wine bottles) to China, Germany and other ports.
I was impressed with the passion of the Neapolitans and the students were no different. Passion is the fuel for commitment, for love and happiness. The students fiercely wondered in what context I would write about the garbage. How will I begin my story? Will I talk about the garbage?
"Hey, I don't see any rats," I said through a translator.
I see rats on a weekly basis in the alley behind my Chicago condo.
I also didn't see people burning garbage, which in the past placed dioxins into the air.
I also told them that Naples as the birthplace of a pizza was a big reason I was in town. I will mention the garbage in my print version of my travel dispatch, but the mess would never deter a visit to the Naples area.
They seemed disappointed.
New York-based Italian journalist Renzo Cianfanelli spoke of American values. "America uses resources in a rational way," he said in spitfire Italian. "America develops new jobs for people and gives equal opportunities to those who want to work. The United States has the greatest brains." At times I wish the United States had more passion and less brains.
Journalists are licensed in Italy. We were introduced by Ottavio Lucarelli, who gave the students their trainee licenses. The students were as excited about the impending change in American leadership (from less to more brains no matter who wins the Presidential election) as we are. One male student said, "There is an American dream as you can see in Obama right now. My American friends are contagious with enthusiasm for Obama."
Naples was a memorable and warm experience as you will read in future issues of the Sun-Times. I lost my favorite traveling companion on the eve of the trip which at times made it difficult to focus. Like Naples, I am a romantic at heart. The Saturday evening passeggiata (stroll) along the sparkling Gulf of Naples is not cut out for lonely guys. Young couples are making out and their lips are linked like chains in a hot fence. Plus I don't know a whole lot about dioxions in buffalo mozzarella.
You could say she moved on, you might say I was dumped. But I know the Campanian sun shines on all things tossed aside.

GOOFY TRAVEL NOTE: While making connections at the sprawling Leonardo da Vinci Airport in Rome, I helped out a lost traveler from Portland, Ore. who could not find his way to our gate. After calming him down and directing him to the gate I learned he was an anthropologist. He had spent three weeks digging
around Italy, but the airport was a mystery to him.
Is that weird or am I just sleep deprived?

ITALY LINK: For those interested in all things Italy, visit James Martin's passionate blog at http://goeurope.about.com. Its also in my Favorite Links archives.
Ciao!

Cubs Win/Spirit of Billy Jurges

2008-04-22T20:11:33Z

1:20 p.m. April 22---

Billy Jurges is looking good.
Of course he’s dead, but on March 3 I got Chicago area medium Rik Kristinant to channel the former Cubs shortstop on his feelings about the 2008 Cubs. March 3 was the anniversary of Jurges’ death. He was born on May 9, 1908. You know, the last year the Cubs won the World Series. We held the seance at the Sheffield House, 3834 N. Sheffield in Chicago. This was formerly the Hotel Carlos.
Jurges told us things would be just fine this year if the Cubs “played for love.”
Since our seance Cubs general manager Jim Hendry acquired throwback outfielder Reed Johnson, who keeps a photo of Ty Cobb by his locker. Ace pitcher Carlos Zambrano has mellowed for the betterment of the team. Koskue Fukadome has brought the Japanese baseball tradition of grace, unity and going with the pitch to Chicago.
“The Great Chicago Earthquake” happened on April 18, registering 5.2 on the richter scale. The last time an earthquake shook Chicago shook this much was in 1968, the year the Cubs woke up from decades of hibernation and ascended to first place.
People are already whispering about 2008 post season play.
Click this link to watch our now historic meeting with Billy:

http://video.ap.org/v/Default.aspx?g=f9f1ffe4-630f-4540-b12e-38728443646b&mk=en-ap&f=ilchs&fg=email

On July 6, 1932 cabaret singer Violet Valli visited Jurges in Room 509 of the Hotel Carlos. She wanted to confront Jurges about their "love affair".............

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Valli pulled out a gun and winged Jurges in the buttocks and the left hand. She blamed the shooting on “too much gin.” This event was a partial inspiration for the Bernard Malamud novel “The Natural.”
In 1949 another Cub named Eddie Waitkus was shot by another female at the Edgewater Beach Hotel in Chicago. She was disturbed because the Cubs traded Waitkus to Philadelphia in 1948.
These things just aren’t natural.
Unless you live in Cubdom.
Kristinant, 52, has been a medium since he was 9. His father was one, too. A medium works with spirits. A psychic predicts things.
The hard core baseball backstory to our seance is that Jurges was placed on the disabled list after the shooting. The Cubs acquired shorststop Mark Koenig, who hit .353 for the Cubs in a 33 game pennant drive. Koneig had played with the New York Yankees between 1925-30. During that period his teammate was Leo Durocher---who managed the 1968 Cubs!
The Cubs went on to win the 1932 National League pennant but the team only voted Koenig a half share of playoff money. The Cubs met the Yankees in the ‘32 World Series. Koenig’s old pal Babe Ruth was upset at the slight.
So with Cubs pitcher Charlie Root on the mound, Ruth allegedly pointed to center field and called his home run.
But those in the know say Ruth was pointing at the Cubs dugout and calling out the team for their treatment of Koenig.
The Yankees swept the Cubs 4 games to 0 in the ‘32 World Series.
“Billy is telling me the good went away in the post season of ‘32,” said Kristinant, who had no tip off on Jurges’ background. “That’s why it never came back. I don’t know if he got kicked out or what, but the good went away. He said he is part of it.”
Chicago baseball historian/Scratch Crib correspondent Mike Reischl was in the hotel room. Only then did he mention Koenig to Kristinant. He had a copy of “The Golden Era Cubs 1876-1940 (Bonus Books), co-written by late great Sun-Timesman Eddie Gold. “Billy Jurges and Billy Herman were the only two dissenters on the vote to appropriate the playoff share money to Koenig,” Reischl reported.
“Aaaah,” Kristinant said with a satisfied smile. “That makes sense where I’m getting ‘2’s (Jurges and Herman). Babe Ruth was mocking Billy. They had words. He pointed at Billy, but I don’t know where he was playing. (Jurges did return at shortstop for the World Series). I also feel something about the Giants. (Koenig ended his career in 1936 with the New York Giants).
“Money pisses Billy off. (Koenig appeared as himself in the 1942 film “Pride of the Yankees”). Just talking about money makes him mad. Now he knows. Now it makes sense. He’s looking for his redemption. That’s what I do as a medium, is I give them their redemption. Billy, you can move on. You’re forgiven for taking Mark’s money.”
See you all in October at Wrigley Field.

Young @ Heart ROCKS!

2008-04-11T23:33:30Z

5:30 p.m. April 11----

As a life long fan of old school rhythm and blues and soul music it didn’t surprise me that the Young @ Heart chorus is more appreciated in Europe than in America. In my travels through Europe, Japan and Mexico I’ve found more interest in American roots music than in America. These are older places than the U.S.A. and the appreciation for history runs deeper.
Even the Zapp Band is considered out of date in the states.
The Young @ Heart choral group began in 1982 in an elderly housing project in Northampton, Mass. Nowadays members come from across the region. No original members remain. No one in the 24-voice chorus is under 72 years of age.
In keeping with the music/road motif of the Scratch Crib blog, link to Young @ Heart's take of the Talking Heads "Road to Nowhere":

http://www.foxsearchlight.com/youngatheart/

Choral Director Bob Cilman came up with the idea of having his elder singers cover songs by David Bowie (think “Golden Years”), the Clash and Prince. This was around the same time that the timeless Duplex Planet pop culture magazine was born out of a nursing home in Boston. The group is now the shining stars of the resplendent Young @ Heart documentary which opens on April 18.......

]]> ....British filmmakers Sally George and Stephen Walker spent seven weeks following Cilman and the chorus as they learn songs such as Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young” and James Brown’s “I Feel Good.” The theatrical group also takes their show on the road, appearing at a local high school and medium security jail.
“They’ve wanted to be known in America a little bit,” Cilman said during a stop in Chicago. “Because they’ve been so stuck in Europe. They always thought that was so weird. They wondered why there wasn’t any American interest.”
Walker added, “In Europe, the further south you go or the further east you go towards Asia, attitudes towards older people do begin to change. Japan does have a very different culture towards old people. I don’t know how this film will play in those countries. But when people see it, in 99 per cent of the cases, they get something very strong from it. They laugh, they cry.
“Getting them through the door is the difficult thing.”
Young@ Heart is known for its musical theater in Europe. As early as 1991 Young @ Heart collaborated with Northampton theater director Roy Faudree to present “Louis Lou I--A Revolting Musical,” a reinterpretation of the French Revolution using the songs of Frank Sinatra. There were more than 100 people involved in the production.
“Europeans are set up in a much different way to support the arts than America,” Cilman said. “They bring us over there and treat us fabulously. We went to France and that was scary. Everybody said ‘Okay, you guys made it everywhere else but France, they’re gonna’ hate you,’ because they’re too cynical and all that. The French were the best. First they really listened. These are theater pieces, not concerts. People can get rowdy and start clapping as if it is a concert. It throws you off your stride. The French sat quiet throughout the whole show and at the end they exploded. It was so beautiful to watch.”
The Young @ Heart documentary has met with critical acclaim in hipster American ports like Sundance and the SXSW music conferernce. Cilman said he did receive an American HBO pitch that wanted to follow Young @ Heart on a European tour. He wouldn’t do that. “The people who do the theater work aren’t the least bit interested in that,” Cilman said. “They find it sort of in conflict with what we do. ‘20/20’ did a piece on the group that never actually aired. It caused so much trouble. I told Stephen to get these guys where they’re comfortable---and you’ll get them where they’re real.”
Walker said, “My mission was to be uncompromising about things. We always knew about the issue of death although we didn’t actually expect people to die while we were making the film. We talked openly about death and discussed their fears. We were determined to make a film which tried to get as close as you can to the heart of what it is to be old. And what its like to face this---if we’re lucky.”

For more on Young @ Heart visit their website at http://www.youngatheartchorus.com

Cubs Lovable Losers

2008-04-11T18:48:06Z

1 p.m. April 11----

The funny thing about the April 9 maiden voyage of the monthly Lovable Losers Literary Revue was how the Chicago Cubs--the evening’s timeless subject---framed the event by blowing two leads against the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates.
The game, which the Cubs eventually won in 15 innings, was on television sets throughout El Jardin ("The Garden"), the site of the reading. The Mexican restaurant opened in 1967 in the southern shadows of Wrigley Field. El Jardin is known for concoting one of the best homemade margaritas in Chicago. Former Cubs Dusty Baker, Frank Castillo and Sammy Sosa have all visited El Jardin.
Presumably after a game.
The evening was organized and hosted by long time Cubs fan/Chicago author Donald Evans. The restaurant's back room was packed with more than 50 Cubs fans and literary devotees. Cub die hards like The Bleacher Preacher (Jerry Pritikin), my long time pal Nick Novich of "Nick's" fame and Scratch Crib contributor Mike Reischl were in the house. So was my friend, former Cubs Vine Line editor Jim McArdle. He recently retired from the Cubs publication department and is working on a book about the Cubs 2008 season for Triumph Books. He already has a lot of material.
Evans offered a tender toast to launch the 90-minute revue. Two members from the Chicago punk band Dummy played a fast acoustic version of the ‘69 Cubs theme “Hey Hey Holy Mackeral,” although it sounded more hard bluegrassy to me.
For a Sun-Times video recap of the evening click this link:

Lovable Losers Literary Revue April 9

That group line dancing to Steve Goodman's "Go Cubs Go" are led by Heather Handeman, who wrote the 2007 book "Big Wigs: Stories of a Straight Girl in a Drag Queen's World" (State Street Publishing, $19.95). But her dancers didn't want to appear at this event in drag. That's like Phil Regan not putting spit on the baseball!
Evans plans to conduct the free literary revue readings on a monthly basis through October................

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.....Evans also has a fine website http://www.lovablelosersliteraryrevue.com/ which will be bookmarked for the next 100 years in my FAVORITE LINKS.

As featured guest I was asked to close the April 9 revue debut with a prayer:

THE CUBS PRAYER '2008

OUR PINIELLA WHO ART IN WRIGLEY
HALLOWED BE THY NAME
THY KINGMAN COME
THY WILL BE DONE
ON EARTH AS IT IS THE 7TH INNING STRETCH

GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY OLD STYLE
AND FORGIVE US FOR OUR HIT AND RUNS
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO HIT AND RUN AGAINST US

AND LEAD US NOT INTO THE BLEACHERS
BUT DELIVER US FROM ZELL
FOR THINE IS THE KINGDOM, THE LACK OF POWER IN APRIL and THE GLORY OF FUKADOME
FOR EVER AND EVER
AT LEAST UNTIL OCTOBER

AMEN.

Opening Day! 50th Anniversary Of Lefty O'Douls

2008-03-26T02:20:23Z

8:00 p.m. March 25

Its Opening Day!
At least it is in Japan, where baseball's Oakland A's are hosting the Boston Red Sox. But this one almost got by me. March 22 was the 50th Anniversary of the opening of Lefty O'Douls, 333 Geary Blvd. in San Francisco. Lefty's may be the longest running sports bar in America.
According to file reports from the San Francisco Chronicle, Mayor George Christopher showed up for the 1958 opening with two Pan American Airlines flight attendants (Lefty was one of the first liasions between Japanese and American baseball) and elder actor Eddie Nugent wore a coachman's uniform and carried a trumpet. Lefty was there. A box of home plate dirt was imported from his beloved Polo Grounds.
It makes me want to go to O'Douls for a beer. RIght now.
But since I am in Chicago, I'll revisit this edited version of an August, 2003 report I filed for the Sun-Times........,

SAN FRANCISCO--One long ago morning after seeing Tom Jones get slammed by brassieres at the House of Blues nightclub in Los Angeles, a friend and I were hit by road fever. We decided to take a day trip up Highway 101 to San Francisco. It's not unusual to see the Golden Gate Bridge. And have dinner in North Beach at Ristorante Fior d'Italia, 601 Union, the oldest Italian restaurant in America (est. 1886). Or laugh at the hippies playing hackey-sack in the Haight.
But our destination was Lefty O' Doul's, the last great sports bar in America. The California sky was as blue as our Advil. She had the top down on her red Mazda and music from Tom Jones' "Live in Las Vegas" tumbled into the air like lucky dice. By the time we reached Santa Barbara, I was feeling so good I began regaling her with stories of Lefty, who opened his San Francisco restaurant and bar in 1958.
Lefty was born in 1897 in San Francisco. He always dressed in green. He had green suits, green pants, green hats and green socks. He had green eyes. Lefty is the only major league player ever to hit more than 30 home runs and strike out fewer than 20 times in the same season. He had a lifetime .349 batting average in 970 major league games.......

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....Well, that relationship went nowhere.
But I still visit Lefty's whenever I am in the area, whether it be Walnut Creek, Calif., or Soda Well, Wyo. . Lefty O'Doul's is across the street from Union Square in downtown San Francisco. I recently dropped in for a beer while on assignment in Walnut Creek.
The 200-seat restaurant and bar is in the former St. Francis Theater. Appropriately enough, the theater is an ornate vaudeville house that was built in the early 1900s. It still celebrates that spirit. During the early 1950s O'Doul opened a bar called Lefty's around the corner on Powell Street, but it is the Union Avenue location that is world-famous.
I suppose I like Lefty's so much because it reminds me of a dark downtown Chicago hofbrau, like Miller's Pub or the Berghoff bar. You don't often find places like this in California (except for Musso & Franks in Hollywood). Lefty's is nightlife unplugged. There's ample elbow room to carry on a good conversation, either at the bar or in a back booth.
Lefty played for the Philadelphia Phillies, Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Giants during the late 1920s and 1930s. The historic baseball pictures that encompass the bar are in grainy black and white and not all duded up like some 21st century sports bar. As for Lefty himself, his face looks like a sack of potatoes. Lefty's daily specials are served cafeteria style. Lefty's is known for its lively corned beef, served hot and on the plate with potato and side of veggies. Every St. Patrick's Day the restaurant sells up to 1,500 pounds of corned beef.
There's a piano bar in the front of the room and about a dozen people can hang around the piano. Someone is playing the piano seven nights a week. Former Mayor Willie Brown is a frequent piano bar visitor. The 24-seat main bar is reportedly one of the largest in the city and features barstools made of baseball bats.
Francis "Lefty" O'Doul died in 1969 at the age of 72. He is buried beneath the green grass at Cypress Lawn Memorial Park in Colma, south of San Francisco. You cannot miss his gravestone. It is a 6-foot-high piece of granite engraved with his statistics, a baseball bat and his epitaph: "THE MAN IN THE GREEN SUIT . . . HE WAS HERE AT A GOOD TIME AND HAD A GOOD TIME WHILE HE WAS HERE." Of course. O'Doul was a roommate of Babe Ruth's in 1920 when they both were coming up with the Yankees.
Lefty's almost closed down in 1997. Monthly rent in the up-and-coming Union Square neighborhood doubled to $50,000 and previous owners couldn't make ends meet. That was the year I planned to fly to San Francisco for New Year's Eve and one last night at Lefty's. But Jim Bovis stepped to the plate. He bought Lefty's in early 1998. His son Nick, 40, now manages the bar and restaurant. For the past 38 years Jim Bovis has owned the Gold Dust Lounge around the corner from Lefty's at 247 Powell St.
During Prohibition the vaudeville house and a speakeasy that became the Gold Dust Lounge were connected by an underground tunnel. Bovis knew the old outfielder. "Lefty used to come into my place when he wasn't here," Bovis says as Jimmy Buffett's "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw" plays in the background. "He drove a green Cadillac. When Lefty had it, he ran a good operation. The men customers wore suits and ties. The ladies wore hats and cloth gloves." Night bartender Larry Lane adds, "They were talking about auctioning the place off in 1997. There's some pretty valuable memorabilia in here." If the walls could talk . . .
Lefty O'Doul's is framed by nearly 400 pieces of baseball memorabilia. The booty includes Lefty's bats and celebrity photographs he took himself. Like me, Lefty was an amateur photographer. There are autographed pictures of San Francisco native Joe DiMaggio and his bride Norma Jean DiMaggio (Marilyn Monroe) on a USO gig from Feb. 8, 1954.
History buffs can catch a one-of-a-kind shot of Lefty shaking hands with Japanese Emperor Hirohito, who invited O'Doul to the Imperial Palace. Lefty was instrumental in introducing baseball to Japan. The Japanese called Lefty "O-Dou-San." Last June Lefty O'Doul became the first and only American to be inducted into the Japanese Baseball Hall of Fame (located just right of Gate 21 in the Tokyo Dome in Tokyo). General Douglas MacArthur referred to O'Doul's role in Japan's 1949 post-war recovery as "the greatest piece of diplomacy ever." The occupation forces weren't thrilled about being in Japan, and the Japanese weren't happy having Americans hang around.
Lefty was the manager of the Pacific Coast League San Francisco Seals in 1949. He brought his minor leaguers through a morale-boosting barnstorming tour of Japan, where they were greeted by MacArthur. Lefty's ties with the Japanese went as far back as 1931, when he toured the country with an all-star team that included Lou Gehrig, Lefty Grove and Mickey Cochrane. An autographed picture of that squad hangs near a television set behind the south end of the bar. A year later O'Doul returned to Japan with Chicago White Sox pitcher Ted Lyons and notorious catcher (and part-time spy) Moe Berg to coach players from assorted Tokyo universities.
The jovial Lane has been a bartender at Lefty's since 1980. Lane reminds me of Johnny Carson's old staff writer Pat McCormick. "I've had about 20 people tell me this reminds them of a place in New York called the Blarney Stone," Lane says during his early night shift. "Considering that Lefty played for all three New York teams Yankees, Brooklyn Dodgers, New York Giants, when he opened this, he probably patterned it after that."
Bovis has done nothing to change the bar. He abides by the motto on the menu: "Doing something right since 1958." Well, Bovis did add breakfast, so Lefty's now opens at 7 a.m. The house specialty is, the "Home Run Breakfast" (two pancakes, eggs, bacon). Once Bovis met Lefty, he became a baseball fan. Lane, adds, "A lot of visiting teams stay across the street at the St. Francis Hotel like they did a long time ago. When the Giants played at Candlestick Park, they stayed out by the airport." With the new Pacific Bell Park close to downtown, teams stay near Lefty's. Even the Lefty O'Doul Bridge crosses over McCovey's Cove and the China Basin leading into Pac Bell Park.
Lane says, "It's great fun for customers when there's seven guys sitting at the bar and five of them have World Series rings." The Cubs have obviously not been to Lefty O'Doul's. Certain members of the Arizona Diamondbacks have found Lefty's. "Ex-Cub Mark Grace is great," Lane says. "He's entertaining. He's a party all by himself. Seasoned veterans are great fun. Occasionally you get a rookie with an attitude. "Overall, we get a nice balance. It's 50 percent locals, and others are from around the world, which make it interesting. It's a safe place. I've only kicked six or seven guys out of here in 23 years, which is unheard of."
How has Lane become so attached to Lefty's? "It's a funny thing," Lane answers. "I was just talking to bartender Mike Rapp over at Capp's Corner [huge salads at an affordable price at 1600 Powell St., in North Beach ] and we hit on that very thing. There's a good balance of clientele here. Neither one of us ever met Lefty. But we feel like we knew him." You will, too.
The night always goes right at Lefty's, the last great sports bar in America.

I'm Cooking Jambalaya

2008-03-12T20:42:00Z

2 p.m. March 14

MY CHICAGO KITCHEN----Hungry hearts wanted to know the muse behind the spicy "Poorman's Jambalaya" I made for my Sun-Times/You Tube experiment. Here's the video, followed by the recipe. As a template I used the 1984 version of "Chef Paul Prudhomme's Louisiana Kitchen." You should see my copy of the book. Most pages are stained and some are burned.

Watch me cook Jambalaya!

If you enjoyed this video, the recipe follows............

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Seasoning mix:
4 small whole bay leaves (be sure to take them out when you serve!!!)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon white pepper
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon ground red pepper---I used cayenne
1 teaspoon gumbo file'---I did not use
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
Not in the Prudhomme recipe, but I always season with 1 teaspoon of Prudhomme's magic seasoning blends; poultry magic (natural herbs and spices, including granulated onion, sweet basil and more white and red pepper). I love this stuff. I throw it on my corn flakes in the morning.

4 tablespoons butter (in 1984 they used margarine)
6 ounces tasso (this made my jambalaya, don't settle for smoked ham.)
6 ounces andouille smoked sausage
1 1/2 cups chopped celery
1 1/2 cups chopped onions
1 cup chopped green bell peppers
1 1/2 teaspooons minced garlic
2 cups uncooked organic rice (preferably converted)
4 cups chicken stock.

Ready?
Put on some Professor Longhair, Clifton Chenier and I used heavy doses of Lil' Band of Gold.
Thoroughly combine seasoning mix ingredients in a small bowl and set aside.
In a large heavy skillet (preferably cast iron) melt the butter over high heat. Add the tasso and andouille, cook 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the onions, celery, bell peppers, seasoning mix and garlic. Stir well and continue cooking until browned, about 10 to 12 minutes, stirring occassionally and scraping the pan bottom well.
Grab some Irma Thomas and stir in the rice.
Cook five minutes, stirring and scraping pan bottom occasionally. Add the stock, stirring well. Bring mixture to a boil; reduce heat and simmer until the rice is tender but still crunchy; about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally toward the end of cooking time. Meanwhile, heat the serving plates in a 250 degree oven. Remove bay leaves and serve immediately.
James Booker, Aaron Neville and Charles Neville solo albums recommended as dinner music.
To serve as a main course, spoon 2 cups jambalaya onto each heated serving plate. For an appetizer; serve one cup. Enjoy. And tell us how it goes....

Rest Haven Restaurant, Clarksdale, Miss.

2008-02-23T20:23:34Z

2:20 p.m. Feb. 23

Its never too early to start planning the road trip from Chicago to New Orleans for the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival. One mandatory stop is Chamoun's Rest Haven Restaurant in Clarksdale, Miss. I called yesterday to make sure they are still open. They are.
Here's an edited version of a story I wrote from a visit in early 2004. I was hungry. I had spent half a day talking to musician-producer Jim Dickinson at his North Mississippi compound. Then I went to this classic diner to eat Lebanese food. I think Mississippi is an underappreciated state.

CLARKSDALE, Miss. -- The parched terrain surrounding Chamoun's Rest Haven Restaurant is best-known for nourishing the blues. John Lee Hooker, Robert Johnson and Muddy Waters all came from this part of the Delta, 75 miles south of Memphis. Blues are not usually linked to Lebanese cuisine. But the Rest Haven has been serving kibbies in the Delta since 1947........
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.....The traditional Lebanese dish consists of ground round steak, cracked wheat, onions, pepper, salt and olive oil. Kibbies are served fried, baked or raw. Homemade pita bread is served on the side.
The Rest Haven is at 419 State St. (Highway 61), just blocks from the Delta Blues Museum. When Muddy Waters was a young man, he sang on the corner of 4th and Sunflower, a mile and a half northwest of the Rest Haven. The restaurant is owned and operated by Chafik and Louise Chamoun (sha-moan). Chafik's cousin Woodrow and his wife, Amra, built the restaurant in 1947. Their parents were born in Lebanon.
The Rest Haven is as quaint as a Route 66 roadside attraction with its long evergreen awning and clean white brick that was cast in nearby Indianola, Miss. The same brick can be seen in a motel across the street and a nearby subdivision. The Rest Haven seats about 120 customers in a cafe and a separate dining room. "I'll tell you, 99 percent of the people who come here from the Netherlands, Germany or Boston know about our food better than the locals," Chafik Chamoun says while sitting in the diner on his Sunday off day. "Did you hear about the tabouli?" Well, no.
"Tabouli is our appetizer salad," he says. "You get parsley, cracked wheat, green onion. You can put a tomato in it and put some olive oil and lemon juice on it." Blues lovers from all walks of life have found the Rest Haven. "I don't know if you know the ZZ Top?" Chamoun asked. "They were here."
He walks over to a wall of fame and points to a picture of the bearded Texas trio eating kibbies and grape leaves. Chamoun continues, "I was busy making a living. I didn't know anything about the ZZ Top. It was 10 in the morning and these guys with long beards walked in. I asked my wife, 'Who are these people?' My wife said I better not say anything. She said, 'These people are famous. They are the ZZ Top.' They have been good to this town. They raised money for the blues museum. They've been here three or four times."
ZZ Top had a hit with "Tube Steak Boogie," but to my knowledge they've never written a song called "True Delta Kibbie." The meat is at the core of the kibbie. "It is not hamburger," declares Chamoun, a ringer for the late Anthony Quinn. "And it's not ground beef. You get the leanest meat you can get."
A local butcher trims off every piece of fat for the Rest Haven. He then grinds the meat not once, but twice. The cracked wheat is prepared by Ghossain's, a Lebanese bakery in Youngstown, Ohio. The bakery owners are from Zahlee, Lebanon, the hometown of the Chamouns. The wheat is boiled, dried, cracked and shipped to Mississippi.
"We get 40 packages of wheat every other week," Chamoun says. "Each package has six loaves. That's what we go through in a week's time here."
Chafik, 72, and Louise, 66, studied at the American School in Zahle, Lebanon, during the 1950s. She was an American citizen. Her father died when she was young and her mother reared the family on a farm in Lebanon. "I wanted to go to America more than anything," Chamoun says. "You were looking for a better life. You read about the United States. You think money grows on trees. There is more to it than that. You have to work."
Chafik works at the Rest Haven between 6 a.m. and 9 p.m. six days a week. Around lunchtime Chafik will head home for a 20-minute nap. Louise doesn't come around the restaurant much anymore, but she does drop in occasionally to see how the kitchen is going and to make sure the premises are clean.
Every morning the kitchen makes homemade chocolate, strawberry and coconut pies, each one stacked with an Elvis pompadour of meringue.
The Rest Haven breakfast crowd is known for fetching the coffeepot to serve themselves and their neighbors. And check the words of wisdom from Louise's needlework behind the diner counter: "By the Time Your Children Are Fit To Live With, They Are Living With Someone Else."
Chafik and Louise were married on Nov. 29, 1953. They haven't been too busy to have children: Mona, 39, is an educator in Tyler, Texas. Paul, 41, is an engineer in Conway, Ark. Elizabeth, 45, is a nurse in Ashland, Ky. Vivian, 47, is an assistant principal in Cleveland, Miss. Robert, 50, is a Memphis attorney. And Paula, 43, works at the Rest Haven. She is also a dietitian. "The kibbie is real healthy," she says. "It has bulgur pure cracked wheat and there's no fat in the meat at all."
Chafik and Louise arrived in New York on May 5, 1954. The newlyweds came to America on a Greek passenger ship. They had about $200. They ate the nightly special of pickled fish and spaghetti. The trip took 21 days. "There were 1,800 people on the boat," Chamoun recalls. "The ticket was only $300 per person, so you didn't expect the Queen Mary." They did have the good fortune to run into some Lebanese people who brought along kibbies and cabbage roll. "We were in heaven!" Chamoun says.
Lebanese people have immigrated to northern Mississippi since the 1880s. They opened grocery stores, peddled goods and worked on farms. "There used to be many Lebanese here," Chamoun says. "Now, there's 20, 25 families." (Clarksdale's population is 20,000.) Chafik's first job was to help an uncle run a Clarksdale nightclub, circa 1955-56.
"People came from the farm on Saturday and would go to downtown nightclubs to hear the blues," he says. "On Saturday night it was like Broadway. People were walking everywhere." But a new world opened up when Chamoun's grandfather gave him $300 to buy a green 1951 Plymouth. Trouble was, Chamoun did not know how to drive a car. "A friend of my uncle's taught me," he says. "His name was Oxodine. We drove a 15-mile radius on Highway 49. We didn't park, he didn't show me how to pass, we didn't do anything. We came back and he said, 'You know how to drive'. I went to visit one of my kinfolks. I was so proud of my car, I didn't want to park in the street. I was scared somebody would hit it, so I parked in the driveway. When it came time to go, I didn't know how to back up the car.
"But the hardship is the best experience."
Using his newly acquired skills, Chamoun became a traveling salesman for Raleigh Products. Locals knew him as "The Raleigh Man." Chamoun drove up and down Highways 61 and 49. He would get nervous every time he drove past Parchman, the Mississippi State Penitentiary on 46 acres along Highway 49. Blues guitarist Son House did time here (1928-30) and Elvis Presley's dad, Vernon, spent eight months at Parchman in 1938 for forging a check.
Most of Chamoun's clients were farmers. He sold on credit, but farm people always paid back on time. "It was like Avon," he says. "I would go house to house. I sold hog medicine. Perfume. Pie fillings. Sometimes the farm people would buy stuff from me just to help me, too." Chamoun kept his goods in the trunk. He stopped at a house, opened the trunk and customers would gather around the car. They pointed at what they wanted to purchase. He would point at the price. Chamoun takes a drag off a thin brown filter cigarette and says, "I could speak a little English. But I couldn't understand everyday English."
In 1968 Chamoun found a burst of energy from his kibbies. He opened a small grocery store on Friar's Point Road, outside of town. He built on a 25-seat diner, which is where ZZ Top discovered kibbies. "I was making pita bread," Chamoun says. "Then we made a kibbie sandwich. That brought people in. After that, I sold cabbage rolls and grape leaves. The next thing you know, I'm selling lunch."
Chamoun also sold Cadillacs and Oldsmobiles in a Highway 61 dealership. And during his remaining free time Chamoun was still "The Raleigh Man." In 1990 Chamoun and his wife took over the Rest Haven, which was operated by a cousin. Of course, it would be a cliche to say the rest is history. Every meal at the Rest Haven is a new celebration of America's cultural crossroads.

Chamoun's Rest Haven Restaurant is open from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily except Sunday. Reservations are not required (662-624-8601).

Rancho de los Caballeros/Arizona

2008-02-23T19:13:22Z

1:10 p.m. Feb. 23

Rancho de los Caballeros ("gentleman on horseback") corral foreman Tom Secrist sized me up. I did not look like a cowboy, even though I was tumbleweeding around the 60-year-old ranch in Wickenburg, Ariz., 55 miles northwest of Phoenix. I wore my faded Cubs cap, shorts and blue Chuck Taylors.
I looked like an extra in "Bleacher Bums."
I told Secrist I had been on a horse twice in my life. He told me I was going to ride Custard though the high Sonoran desert. If Custard was a train, he would be Amtrak. The 1,200 pound custard-colored horse moved slow. As slow as molasses. Or custard.
In some rusty quarters he would have been called lazy but I will call him leisurely......

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....."Once we see someone is more experienced we can upgrade them," Secrist said from under the bill of a cowboy hat. "If you put someone on too much horse at the beginning you will ruin their whole
vacation." There are nearly 100 horses in the ranch stable. They have unique names like All Righty., Boysenberry, and Toupee (who looks like he's wearing a bad hair piece).
Adults and kids who visit the ranch on an annual basis often request the same horse from a previous vacation. The rides are breathtaking. Cowboys and cowgirls meander through the hilly desert. There's black tailed jackrabbit, coyote, muledeer and cactus wren (the state bird of Arizona). During my ride I saw a red tailed hawk regally perched atop a saguro cactus.
Speaking of hawks, why isn't Andre Dawson in the Baseball Hall of Fame?
Rancho de los Caballeros is 2,400 feet above sea level and my excellent wrangler Norm Lilley told me we rode as high as 2,600 feet. Gold, silver and some copper were mined in these Arizona hills. Native Americans first settled in Wickenberg, followed by miners and then ranchers.
Secrist either owns or has purchased the horses.
"You can never have enough good horses," he explained. "What makes a good horse is reaction time. I'll get on them, wake 'em up and find out how quick they shut down. The ones that keep slingin' their heads and can't shut down---they don't make dude horses. People got it wrong when they think buckin' is so bad in horses. Buckin' is the easiest thing to fix in a horse. Runnin' away is the second one. You got a horse that rares and is sticky with his feet? Don't even mess with him if you're trying to make him a dude horse. Somewhere in that horse's makeup something will happen. And if they react, its going to hurt somebody. I've learned that from a lot of other horsemen."
The ranch wrangler picks where you will go on the ride. Lilley knew the history of the area and recited classic cowboy poetry during our rest stops---or stops where Custard suddently decided to eat.
"You can come here and see all this, but if you don't know anything about it, it doesn't mean anything," Lilley said. "A lot of people don't realize this all used to be a part of Mexico. That's why we have a lot of Spanish names here. I just like to know about my surroundings."
The key to riding a horse is just like getting through life: stay balanced.
You pull back on the rein to stop and a kick on the side serves as a gas pedal to go. Wrangler Caroline Markham later told me, "You put one leg on each side and your mind in the middle."
Rancho de los Caballeros is a secret find. The spacious laid back feel of the ranch reflects a 1950s or 1960s Phoenix. You expect to see Barry Goldwater coming around the corner. Today Wickenburg is known for its recovery centers. There's the Remuda Programs for Eating Disorders and The Meadows. Its not uncommon to see Hollywood types wandering around Wickenburg after visiting loved ones.
The 20,000 acre Rancho de los Caballeros involves deeded land and some long term leases from the state and federal government. The ranch started cattle ranching in 1953 as a steer operation, later developing into a cow-calf operation with the purchase of 100 cattle from the Tohono O'odham Indian Reservation.
"You put all 20,000 acres together and you have a ranch," said Rancho de los Caballeros owner Dallas "Rusty" Gant, Jr., whose father founded the ranch. "You don't own all 20,000 acres. You own about 1,600. We ranch cattle but we don't raise our own food. Ours are more grass fed and they need to go through mid-term steps before they go to market."

After my 90-minute ride, I adjourned to the ranch's bar for a very unique Prickly Pear Margarita. The bright red fruit is picked from prickly pear cacti in the summer. The cacti grow throughout the ranch resort. The berries are then soaked in tequila so the alcohol absorbs its flavor.
Here's the secret recipe:
1 1/2 oz. tequila ( I recommend Cazadores), infused with prickly pear cactus fruit.
1/2 oz. premium triple sec liqueur (Cointreau).
1 oz. lime juice.
Cheers!
And don't drink and ride.

For more on Ranchos de los Caballeros, 1551 South Vulture Mine Rd., call (800) 684-5030, or visit www.sunc.com. The ranch is open from October through mid-May.

Double JJ Ranch & Rothbury Experience

2008-02-16T19:57:41Z

1:55 p.m. Feb. 16

I first visited the Double JJ Ranch in Rothbury, Mich. in November, 2006. The historic ranch was a gentle, rural escape from the madness of Muskegon, 25 miles south. I returned with my girl friend on New Year's Eve 2007 to find a new indoor water park and pizza parlor. The vibe was sort of Wisconsin Dellsy. We avoided soggy kids and came away impressed with the ranch's New Year's Eve fireworks show.
But now this?
ROTHBURY--a sustainable camping festival that features the Dave Matthews Band, Jakob Dylan & the Gold Mountain Rebels, Primus, Snoop Dogg, John Mayer and more than 60 other acts (www.rothburyfestival.com) is scheduled to be held July 3-6 around the ranch. Its like Burning Man for the Heartland. Besides the music, there's daily yoga sessions (one with Michael Franti & Spearhead) face painting and DJ master classes. Nearly 50,000 people are expected to attend and there's camping available on 300 acres of land that surround the ranch.
I'd check out Conscious Alliance's effort to get into the Guinness Book of World's Records for the "World's Largest Canned Food Sculpture," which will also generate 40,000 cans of food to be donated locally. The sculpture will be on exhibit all weekend. So if you're planning to go to ROTHBURY or some more tranquil time here's the backstory on the JJ Ranch, whose name is derived from Jack & Jill. Or now its Jack and Jerry as in Garcia....
This edited story appeared in the Nov. 26, 2006 edition of the Chicago Sun-Times:

ROTHBURY, Mich. -- The folks at the Double JJ Ranch & Golf Resort in wild western Michigan rope you in with the tagline "Outside the Ordinary."
Where do I sign up?
The 2,000-acre resort north of Muskegon celebrates its 70th anniversary next year. It features heated log cabins, hotel rooms, horses, three lakes and a natural cranberry bog.......

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....The resort opened as the Jack & Jill Ranch and has been a getaway for generations of Chicagoans, including George "Cheers" Wendt. Late country singer Waylon Jennings stopped at the Double JJ to get
off the road.
I'm a dude who had never heard of this ranch.
But I knew this would be an unusual experience when I arrived at the ranch. I was lost. Sheriff Glen Pine approached my car singing Tom Paxton's "Can't Help Wondering Where I'm Bound." Well, he was
playing the role of a sheriff. He wore midnight black sunglasses and his baritone had the bottom of an empty wishing well. Pine turned out to be a former Chicago folk singer who appeared at Cal's Corrall at 78th and Ashland in Chicago, run by country singer Cal Starr.
Rothbury (population 438) is a mile-square town, only six miles east of Lake Michigan. It is definitely outside of ordinary and inside of nowhere.
In 1988 Detroiters Bob and Joan Lipsitz purchased the adults-only Double JJ dude ranch. They partnered with Wally Wojack, a 79-year-old Canton, Ohio, businessman who had been coming to the
ranch since 1950. The trio added a golf course and a family ranch. The Double JJ has been family owned for its entire 70 years.
This weekend the resort debuts its New Frontier complex that includes a 60,000-square-foot mining-themed indoor water park with a 57-foot-high water slide -- the tallest water slide in Michigan
-- a wave pool, interactive waterfall, row bridges and a family raft ride.
I can't wait to see Govt. Mule on the water slide during ROTHBURY weekend.
"We were the largest winter resort in the country that didn't have an indoor pool," Bob Lipsitz said over coffee at the resort's Sundance Saloon & Steakhouse. "Now we've gone way over the top."
The ranch also offers sleigh rides, a snow-tubing hill, cross-country skiing and horseback riding. The ranch makes its own snow for the tubing hill and snowboarding. Call ahead if there is snow on the ground because the ranch tends to fill up.
There is also daily horseback riding in the winter. The ranch houses 140 horses (110 private, 30 public), and equestrians can bring their own horses. The trail leads to Lake Michigan and people
can ride horses in the lake. The Double JJ is one of the largest horse resorts in America.
The ranch also has 120 new condominiums available for nightly rental along with 32 hotel rooms. The ranch is west Michigan's only four-season full-service resort. There's even a convention center that has hosted Kodak and Motorola out of Chicago. When the Double JJ Starbucks opens this weekend, I
bet it will be west Michigan's only Starbucks.
The ranch was founded by Michigan farmer Joseph Stousch and his wife Mary. The operation was taken over in 1939 by their sons George and Bob Storm, who were based in Chicago but owned a livery
in Whitehall, Mich. "They'd bring horses out for the weekend and the kids would ride horses through the cherry trees," said Wojack, the ranch's resident historian. "The ranch was named Jack and Jill in honor of those little kids. George and Bob also wanted a name that was more Americanized, which is how Stouch became Storm."
Wait. It gets better.
George's wife was a singer who went by the name Sunny Storm.
During the 1960s and '70s there were Double JJ Clubs in Chicago and the suburbs. "The first club was in Chicago," Wojack said. "At one time Chicago had 950 members. Cleveland, Detroit and Indianapolis
also had clubs. The ranch had no offical connection with the clubs. It stayed the Jack and Jill Ranch until 1973 when it became the Double JJ."
Lipsitz added, "In the early days a bus would take people from Chicago and Detroit into the Greyhound station in Rothbury. A horse and wagon would pick them up and bring them here. They had barn dances on Saturday night and the guys would line up on the road to be screened to dance with the girls. Up until the 1980s our population was 70 percent female. It wasn't necessarily 70 percent single female. The guys were going golfing outside of town. The women were riding horses on the ranch. When we built the golf course in '93, we started attracting more couples. We still have the gals weekend without the guys -- and the guys weekend without the gals."
And when there's lots of guys and gals there soon will be kids.
"In '98 we built the Back Forty ranch," said Lipsitz, while looking out a window at a dense grove of pine trees. The Back Forty has 41 family cabins, 23 log homes and kids-only 10-bunk log cabins, Conestoga wagons and tepees.
"Basically we provide grandma and the adults can go play," Lipsitz said. Men's Journal rated the Thoroughbread 18-hole championship golf course as one of the 10 most challenging courses in America. The course was built in the dune ridges, which account for its rolling hills. The rock band Hootie and the Blowfish has stopped in to play golf at the ranch.
Lipsitz is not a cowboy, nor is he a Double JJ veteran. He had been to the ranch only once before he became owner. His intention was to start a boys camp. "The land and the tradition was too valuable for that," he said. "I was in the kid's recreation business and at first ended up with adults here. But I've always appreciated horses and I rode horses as a teen." The Double JJ even presents public rodeos from id-May until mid-September.
Lipsitz, 51, builds the buildings and his wife decorates the interiors. He never hired an outside contractor until the water park/entertainment center expansion. The restaurant chandeliers are
adorned with the Double JJ logo and they are are made by the anch's blacksmith. The steakhouse seats 170 with panoramic views of the golf course and wildlife that includes bluejays, fox and hungry wild turkeys.
Nighttime activity on the ranch currently includes a small bar at the Sundance Steakhouse and the Silver Dollar Saloon on the shores of Big Wildcat Beach. (The bar is seasonal; it will reopen in May.) "We're western," Lipsitz said. "The Double JJ has a 70-year tradition of being a ranch. We want to keep that feel. Glen Pine has worked for all four owners. Where do you find that? This is history."

DIRECTIONS: By horse or car, from Chicago, take Interstate 94 east to Benton Harbor, Mich. Travel north on U.S. 31 and take the Winston Road/Rothbury exit east to Water Road, then turn left (north). The Back Forty is on the right (east) side; the Double JJ Ranch is just beyond that. Continue one more mile to reach the Thoroughbred Golf Club and Conference Center.
CONTACT: For more information, visit www.doublejj.com or call (800) 368-2535.