Full Court Press: Poor Felix Pie

I heard someone ask an interesting question today. With as secretive as teams are about injury lists these days, why did we have to know that Felix Pie's injury is a twisted testicle?

And then we find out it's a problem usually associated with late-adolescent boys. Sure hope he's got thick skin on the road this season, cuz fans are going to have fun with that. Wait a minute, on the road? Sure hope he plays well at Wrigley.

So how anti-climactic will it be when the Cubs finally get Brian Roberts? Does anyone doubt he's coming? And does anyone doubt the Cubs will overpay with prospects?

So I'm on the treadmill last night and choosing between Hawks-Wings or Bulls-Jazz. Easy choice, right? Seemed to be, until I saw an amazingly lackluster performance by the Hawks. Seemed Detroit was on a perpetual power play. Corey Crawford was brilliant at times, but he didn't have a chance.

I know the Wolves played three games in three days recently, but it looked like the Hawks were playing the tail end of a 7-game-in-7-days stetch.

And then the Bulls put together maybe their best game of the season in beating the Jazz.

Tough season to figure out.

By the way, anybody excited about NCAA hoops right now. Not sensing the buzz.

Comments

Yes, the choice is simple — the Bulls are a waste of time right now. When they play like they did last night it's only a reminder that they love to dangle the carrot in front of the mule's nose every once in a while, only to pull it back for weeks at a time.

And now if you'll indulge me, let me diagnose the Blackhawks' few issues:

— The defensemen have played so poorly lately, especially Brents Seabrook and Sopel and Jordan Hendry. That they have won at all in the last 10 days and remained close to the Wings last night is a credit to...

— Corey Crawford, the keeper of the future. Has played well in two starts against two-top flight opponents. Can't let him get away.

— Kaner is a little too smal and Toews a little to inexperienced right now. Kane still wants to stickhandle his way through four guys to gain the offensive zone, but when you're 5-10 and 160 pounds sopping wet, it ain't gonna happen. When he puts on 15 pounds of muscle, has that last little growth spurt and watches tape of his play this season, he'll figure it out. Toews curve is flattening rapidly. He's almost there.

Meanwhile, the Bulls are so far away from the summit they might as well play in an underwater cave. Watching a Bulls game — in terms of effort, attitude and atmosphere — is about as fun as watching the 75+ female lawn bowling association.

Posted by: J Rossi | March 12, 2008 12:56 PM

I mean, EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!. Totally gross. That even makes me cringe. How can you do that to the guys, Roman?

Posted by: Julie B. | March 12, 2008 01:15 PM

rumor has it the red sox are trading coco crisp to the mets for....angel pagan. yes the same angel pagan the cubs gave to new york. BRILLIANT!!

Posted by: tom s | March 12, 2008 02:25 PM

More like Felix PeeYOW!!
Bulls surprised everyone! Welcome Back Thabo!

Roman responds: I do love the way Thabo is playing, but didn't we love Deng and Hinrich last year?

Posted by: Keith Lifetime Southsider | March 12, 2008 02:35 PM

Do you suppose our WNBA team (whatever their name is) would report that a player was out with a damaged fallopian tube?

Just askin...

Posted by: Carl | March 12, 2008 03:33 PM

two words i hope to never here uttered again in the same sentence testicle and torsion end of post over and out

Posted by: chris hawkins | March 12, 2008 05:31 PM

Twisted Testicle?

Sounds like a great name for a punk rock band!

I call first dibs.

Posted by: Seedy "Weedhopper" Backslash | March 12, 2008 05:39 PM

J Rossi...youve obviously never Lawn Bowled or Bocce'd but...you should try it some time, its mindblowing!

Posted by: Anonymous | March 12, 2008 05:53 PM

Weirdly, I remember posting about Pie's TT (as it is referred to in medical circles....ummmmm....like ....LAST WEEK!!!

Posted by: bculz | March 12, 2008 05:54 PM

Now THAT'S what I like ... four blogs for the price of one!

We have Pie's twisted gonads, Hawk and Bull frustrations, and an NCAA basketball teaser to boot.

I tell ya; it doesn't get any better than this.

As an added bonus, Julie is grossed out; ... and I didn't have to
say a single word.

I love the internet.

Posted by: Mark Villano | March 12, 2008 06:12 PM

1. KLTSS, nice to see your name again. Baseball season is near.

2. Roman, you are so transparent....you posted this topic knowing Julie would post on it, and your crush could live on in perpetuity.

3. BCulz, no porn references? I'm surprised. This topic must have hit a nerve.

4. Everyone is waiting for the Romie Blogger Awards ...? Where's the red carpet? Joan Rivers? How long will acceptance speeches go before they are cut off by the orchestra? etc. etc.

5. Hawks are a year away from a playoff berth. I think they'll try and unload NK during the offseason, now that they have Lalime and Crawford, who looks excellent.

Posted by: Bubba's Mom | March 12, 2008 08:10 PM

Bubba's Mom,
It;s a rare occassion that I'm drunk, but I hsve to say,

5 pint;s ond I am nbot one of them???

Thanks, dude,

I sti;ll love yo0 man.

XO,
Julie, the Pit VIpress

Roman responds: I have to go back and read some of this thread. I think Ricky posted some comments I haven't seen. What kind of pints Jules? We should have a blog party.

Posted by: Julie B. | March 12, 2008 11:36 PM

"Ouch ... oooooch .... eeeeeeeech!!!"

Posted by: Pie's Gonads | March 13, 2008 04:55 AM

Good Morning. What the hell did I say last night????? Did I comment on this thread? I couldn't see, let alone read or type, so I surely can't be held accountable for my comment if it was completely offensive or something. But hopefully I was able to be coherent and funny and profound like my usual sober self.

Love ya.

Posted by: Julie B. | March 13, 2008 07:15 AM

have to admit culzie you're usually right on top of these situations. btw have you worn a pink sox hat to a Cubs exhibition game yet and you're also sposed to send a pic of it to Roman.

Carl I would suspect a wnba plyer would be more likely to be held out for a bruised boob.

I'm glad to see Thabo back in the line-up and curious to see what moves get made in the off season whether they make it to post season or not.

I'm looking forward to the NCAA tourney but living in North Carolina I'm more excited right now about the ACC tourney this week-end. Hoping for a NC/Duke re-match with NC coming out on top.

Posted by: Tim Little | March 13, 2008 07:22 AM

Bubbas Mom....other than my Pornstar Hippo comment...when else have I made a porn reference?

Besides, if you want a porn joke, lets talk about the Democratic Governor of NY, then...we can go pornolicisious!

Posted by: bculz | March 13, 2008 09:26 AM

Testicular Torsion

Advertising Disclaimer

Testicular torsion is a disorder in which the testicles rotate (twist) and strangle the spermatic cord, which consists of blood vessels, lymphatic vessels, nerves, and the duct that carries sperm from the body (vas deferens), cutting off the blood supply to the testicles. Torsion can cause shrinkage (atrophy) and tissue death (necrosis), and may require surgical removal of the testicles (orchiectomy) if not treated promptly. Torsion often occurs during sleep.

Incidence and Prevalence
Testicular torsion primarily affects infants in the first year of life and adolescent boys age 12-18, although it can occur at any age. Males with one or both testicles not descended into scrotum (cryptorchidism) develop testicular torsion more often than the general population.

Risk Factors

Injury to the scrotum or groin and vigorous physical activity are risk factors.

Causes

Injury to the scrotum can initiate a muscle spasm that cause the testicles to twist. Some cases result from inadequate connective tissue that "anchors" the testicle within the scrotum. Many cases are idiopathic (i.e., have no known cause).

Posted by: Full Medical Description | March 13, 2008 09:32 AM

Why is the NCAA tournament not exciting for you? That's insane.

Posted by: Noles | March 13, 2008 09:34 AM

COCKFIGHTER 2
"return of the little jerri curl"

http://gawker.com/354186/the-pedro-martinez-cockfight-video

ITS BRUTAL!!!

Posted by: bculz | March 13, 2008 09:54 AM

If there is a twisted testicle someone out there...I am on top of it.

Just got my tickets to cubs game, now I just have to find a Pink Sox hat....

I may have to decend into Hell to get one....but...i will not be known as a HITMAN...(someone who is all talk and no follow through).

Posted by: bculz | March 13, 2008 10:01 AM

Bubba's Mom | March 12, 2008 08:10 PM - Thanks Bubba's Mom! And yes I am excited about the Sox and having a clean slate!

Noles, I am not feeling the NCAA this year for the first time in a long time. Maybe because Illinois is not in it. But once the dancing starts I will try to get my mojo back. Here's to Cinderella!

Posted by: Keith Lifetime Southsider | March 13, 2008 10:24 AM

Juevo Pie

and if you want gay porn...google republican

Posted by: Hitman | March 13, 2008 10:26 AM

MOST LIKELY TO HAVE
http://blogs.suntimes.com/fullcourtpress/
SET AS THEIR HOME PAGE AWARD?

(Note: Its not me, cause I have my website their so I can get more hits ;)

Posted by: bculz | March 13, 2008 10:46 AM

Thabo Sefolosha, limping noticeably in the postgame locker room Tuesday, skipped practice Wednesday. Boylan called the guard's sore groin "a concern."

It must be in the AIR!~?

Posted by: bculz | March 13, 2008 11:01 AM

Even though I typed "pints," I meant "points." Funny, because I was at a beer tasting. But now that I go back and re-read Bubba's Mom's comment, I see that I am in fact referenced in point #2, the one about your supposed blog crush on me, Roman. I'm all for the blog party idea. Let's make it a Romie Awards after-party.

I wish you all a happy day and untwisted testicles.

Posted by: Julie B. | March 13, 2008 11:20 AM

Did they show the slow-mo replay of Pie's reaction when he realized that the bridge was out and his boys were stuck in Jersey?

Posted by: Keylan | March 13, 2008 12:00 PM

No Keylan....I havent....

you could be dear and find it on the internet somewhere and post the link though? or would that be tooo 21st century for you?

Unless you just are keeping it for your own private privates collection.

Posted by: bculz | March 13, 2008 04:32 PM

Mr. Culz, I have a pink sox hat that you are welcome to wear.

However, I have a hunch that your head is too big for it.

Noles, your thoughts on how Notre Dame might do in the NCAA?

Posted by: Bubba's Mom | March 13, 2008 09:21 PM