Brits on America: March 2008 Archives

I served American pancakes and bacon to my housemate Julia the other day, and she was so impressed that went out and bought ingredients for another breakfast, even inviting her boyfriend over to share in the delights.

“It’s an amazing taste experience,” she assured him. “I’m not usually keen on maple syrup, but it goes so well with the fluffy pancakes and salty bacon.”

I smiled broadly at these words in great relief, because the first time I tried to make American pancakes and bacon here in Nottingham, it was a culinary disaster on every scale.

I've put this entry into the "Brits on America," category, but really it belongs in a category called "Brits on the American," the American in this instance being me. That's because this blog led to an unusual experience for me--being on the other end of the reporter's questions. Shortly after this blog launched, I got emails from reporters at the Nottingham Evening Post who wanted to do a feature on the American who's telling Chicago about Nottingham. Today's article "My really big tea break," was the result.

Yesterday I posted a widely circulated email announcing a British "Revocation of Independence" from America. Today I post one of the rebuttals. As I mentioned in yesterday's post, these humorous pieces have been making the rounds of email inboxes since the presidential elections of 2000, and are not actually authored by John Cleese, according to Snopes.com.

(Please note that the opinions expressed herein are not the opinion of the blogger, nor of the Chicago Sun-Times. Thank goodness!)

DECLARATION OF ANNEXING THE BRITISH ISLES AS PART OF THE USA

In the light of your indecision over joining a common European currency, your dissatisfaction with the European Union, your bickering with European governments and the fact that you already almost speak our language and refuse to speak any other European languages, you are to be annexed as a State of America. Your state code will be GB. Zip codes will be assigned to replace your old postal districts. The state capital will be Stratford-upon-Avon, which is a lot prettier than London. Princess Diana will be declared a saint. You have already assimilated so much American culture that you are unlikely to notice the transition. To aid in the assimilation, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

It came again today--that email forward that purports to be from John Cleese and is all about how Britain is taking back control of the United States of America. I've seen it before and laughed (though I've never actually believed it was written by John Cleese) but today I read this supposedly British take on America with new eyes. I found it funny, as before, but I also sighed a bit over the same old stereotypes I've come against time and again as an American on English soil. That comment probably makes me sound a little cranky and crabbed, especially since I love humor (humour?) and well-aimed satire, but maybe I've simply grown weary of the myriad conversations about the everlasting cultural and linguistic differences. I think that's because, in order to discuss them, I have to make broad generalizations about America that just don't do justice to such a diverse and varied land. I always feel that I'm swimming upstream and growing quickly tired as I try to give my English friends a true understanding of the United States.

A quick visit to the uber-helpful site Snopes.com (where you can find out the truth of all those urban legends and email forwards) showed me that this piece was not, of course, written by John Cleese, but actually was written as a much shorter commentary by a Brit after the 2000 presidential election and circulated in an internal newsgroup. A week later another Brit added a few more items and published it on the Internet. The rest is history.

Enjoy the forward, which follows. I'm posting the version that appeared in my inbox today. Tomorrow I'll post one of the rebuttals from America to Great Britain (but go here if you want a sneak peek, or if you'd like to read how this piece came to be).

Finally, I am wishing myself back in Chicago. Not just for the ease of communication and living (although living in England has become second nature to me, as I realized while chatting with a friend who's only been here five weeks and still finds herself a bit shell-shocked). But because, this morning when I opened the weekend Daily Telegraph, I found a huge Travel section feature about Chicago!

I eagerly devoured "Chicago: Not the musical" and gazed at photos of the Bean and the Sears Tower. I laughed very hard when I read how author Michael Simkins was puzzling over Jean Dubuffet's public artwork and a passerby told him, "It's called Monument with Standing Beast, but we call it Snoopy in a Blender;" I was indignant when Simkins said the Billy Goat Tavern cheeseburgers (cheeseborgers) were filling but tasted terrible (what I wouldn't give for a proper American cheesburger with those delicious thick-cut pickles!); and I thought of going to NHL games with my dad and brother as Simkins tried to explain the lure of ice hockey enjoyed alongside hot dogs and cheap beer.