Football Mom

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You know, there are things that seem to go out of their way to trip you up when you're trying to make a change for the better in your life, and then there are things that set your resolve deeper than a Mississippi chigger. Football Mom helped me out today with an unsucessful "flex"

"Football Mom" is one of these people who has her fingers in everyone's pie and really seems to relish it. She's the Football Mom who works very hard and usually does a very good job keeping the program rolling. Without people like her, the season would be much longer and much more disorganized and usually, you'd appreciate all her efforts. This Football Mom however, needs to relax a little.

Today, while my wife is nursing our 5 month old son during my eldests football contest, Football Mom (I'll call her FM to save time) marches over and announces that my wife and I need to work 2 games in the concession stand. A little suprised by this curt announcement, I ask if there is anything else that we can do as my wife is nursing (echo) and my back has been acting up for the last 2 months. if I can't sit down after 1/2 hour at most, I'm laid up for a week. However, before I could get out the reasons, she declares "NO! Everyone works the concession stand! There is no negotiation!". I then told her there would have to be negotiation and to get lost before I lost my temper.
She mumbled some snide little remark and walked off in a huff.

A few minutes later, FM returns with her little red folder, a pen and a face as red as an apple. As she approaches with her "don't-mess-with-me-because-I'm-FM-and-I always-get-my-way" look on her face, I say, "Come on FM, don't be all mad. I just want to ask how the numbers add up".

According to FM, EVERY parent has to work 2 games, and there are only 4 home games. There are at least 20 kids on my son's team which means she needs 40 bodies total, or 10 parents per game. Whenever I happen to mozy over to the concession stand, the most I see are 6 people in there; and that includes the guy working the grill. It's usually around 4 people total.

FM wants to hear none of it. She gets rude and defensive. She starts hurling insults. At this point, I ask her if she would come down, away from my family to discuss this because this is getting out of hand. FM wants none of that either. "I'm not going anywhere, now do you want me to pick your dates, pick your own dates, or do you want me to get Coach and have him talk to you"? For my kids sake, I quietly say "Ill talk to Coach", and she literally storms off in his direction to tell on me! Oh, the drama! I wonder if FM told her mommy, too!

Anyway, I'm assuming Coach was a too busy as I didn't hear anything from him, but I'm sure I will. Coach and FM are thick as thieves.

So now, there's no way I'll ever work the concession stand. I want to pull my weight and often do more than I'm asked for the sake of the kids. However, FM has put me in a spot where I can't work, even if I could. I mean, how would I look to my wife and kids if I just gave in after her little temper tantrum? Maybe FM got my scouting report confused with some simpleton jerk. If you try to embarass me in front of my family, that's the same as putting vinegar out to catch flies; it's not the best approach to solve the problem.

This sound bad? Well, it wasn't, at least in the end. I found out this week that my 10 year old has asthma and my cousin's 31 year old husband, who she just married a few months ago died suddenly of natural causes. I haven't been feeling very motivated lately, but thanks to FM, I'm as ready for my "challenge" as ever.

Funny how something so stupid can get the juices flowing. Thanks FM. I needed not only the inspiration, but the laughs as well.

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About the blogger

You know how it goes. The kids come along, there’s less time for you and in trying to keep up with their busy lives, your eating choices aren’t always so hot.

Greg Ortiz is a 39-year-old south suburban man who, tried, with the Sun-Times’ help, once before to get back to the athletic — and thinner — guy he once was.

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Greg Ortiz published on September 6, 2009 11:36 PM.

Let's REALLY do this if we're going to do it was the previous entry in this blog.

"Suit's" me just fine! is the next entry in this blog.

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