Carlos Lee- Houston Astros (LF)
Vs. Milwaukee Brewers
3-for-4, 2 R, 1 HR, 2 RBI
If Bud Selig really wanted to make people like him, he’d pass a rule that stated any player born in Panama had to come out to the Van Halen song. That would totally make everyone forget about the 2002 All-Star Game.
Carlos Beltran- New York Mets (CF)
Vs. Arizona Diamondbacks
2-for-4, 2 R, 1 HR, 4 RBI, 2 BB
Not only did Beltran’s two-run homer in the bottom of the 13th inning lift the Mets to a much needed victory, it also secured his place as a Wednesday fantasy hero. Willie Randolph lives to get mercilessly criticized another day.
Kosuke Fukudome- Chicago Cubs (RF)
Vs. Atlanta Braves
1-for-2, 2 R, 1 HR, 3 RBI, 2 BB
Ok, how funny is that the Cubs never told K-Fuk about that little 100-year World Series drought thing? Could this be the same reason Bernard Berrian signed with the Vikings? Maybe they never told him that Tarvaris Jackson is the quarterback.
Cole Hamels- Philadelphia Phillies (SP)
Vs. Florida Marlins
ND: 8 IP, 2 ER, 13 K, 1 BB
The chief export of Cole Hamels is K's.
In a related story, the chief export of Shawn Kemp is children.
Ryan Dumpster- Chicago Cubs (SP)
Vs. Atlanta Braves
Win: 9 IP, 2 ER, 11 K, 0 BB
If Cubs fans would have known that Ryan Dempster would be their best pitcher midway through June, I don’t think they would have been very happy. But here he is, striking out everyone and leading the Cubbies in wins. Obviously, the only downside to his fantastic start is that I can no longer refer to him as ‘Dumpster’, which was probably the most perfect sports nickname of all-time.
Justin Verlander- Detroit Tigers (SP)
Vs. Chicago White Sox
Win: 9 IP, 1 ER, 3 K, 0 BB
Maybe Ozzie needs to start yelling at people again.
…as for the bums
Mark Teixeira- Atlanta Braves (1B)
Vs. Chicago Cubs
0-for-4, 2 K
Don’t mess with Dumpster.
Darrell Rasner- New York Yankees
Vs. Oakland Athletics
Loss: 3.2 IP, 9 H, 6 ER, 4 K
Maybe Giambi should just mass produce his little good luck charm.