Thursday’s best and worst of fantasy baseball

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The best


Evan Longoria- Tampa Bay Rayz
Vs. Florida Marlins
3-for-5, 1 HR, 1 RBI, 2 R

Of all the Longoria’s not married to Tony Parker, Evan might just be my favorite.

Justin Morneau- Minnesota Twins
Vs. San Diego Giants
3-for-4, 1 HR, 1 R, 3 RBI, 1 BB

Why does every great Minnesota athlete end up in Boston? First David Ortiz, then Randy Moss and KG. Morneau and OJ Mayo will fit right in three years from now.

Aubrey Huff- Baltimore Orioles
Vs. Chicago Cubs
4-for-5, 3 R, 2 RBI

As for as Cub killers go, Huff ranks somewhere between Mike Caruso and Jeff Blauser. And yes, I know, Blauser was a Cub. He was just that bad.


Matt Garza- Tampa Bay Rayz
Vs. Florida Marlins
Win: CG, 1 H, 1 R, 10 K

I think those Rayz did pretty well for themselves in their big offseason trade: Garza allowed the same number of hits in this game as Delmon Young has homers this season. Plus, you don’t have to worry about Garza maliciously throwing his bat at an umpire. That’s a plus too, I suppose.

Rich Harden- Oakland A’s
Vs. Philadelphia Phillies
Win: 8 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 11 K

I have a friend from school that is from Philadelphia and though we’ve never argued about whose hometown is superior, if we did, all I would need to say is this: Chicago has Lollapalooza, Phili has Wing Bowl. Case closed.

Jesse Litsch- Toronto Blue Jays
Vs. Cincinnati Reds
Win: 8 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 6 K

I’d add something funny here, but I don’t know who the hell Jesse Litsch is. Though some 29-year old third baseman named Joe Inglett leads the Blue Jays in OPS, so I guess that’s kind of funny.

Tuesday’s bums

Jay Bruce- Cincinnati Reds
Vs. Toronto Blue Jays
0-for-3, 2 K

I assure you I know who Jay Bruce is, and if this Jesse Litsch character can make Jay Bruce look this bad, maybe he’s someone we should keep an eye on.

Edison Volquez- Cincinnati Reds
Vs. Toronto Blue Jays
Loss: 4.1, 5 ER, 0 K, 3 BB

Yeah, it was a rough day at the ole’ ballpark for the Reds last night. Also: Dusty Baker is their manager. Coincidence?

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God I hate you Jeff Blauser...

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Matt Wood is a web editor for and editor of He is also a contributor for satirical sports publication The Heckler. Have a fantasy question? E-mail him.

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This page contains a single entry by Ricky O'Donnell published on June 27, 2008 12:18 AM.

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