Thursday’s best and worst of fantasy baseball

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Because there is really nothing going on today in real baseball today, right?

Thursday's best...


Mark Teahen- Kansas City Royals (1B, LF, 3B)
Vs. St. Louis Cardinals
3-for-4, 1 HR, 3 RBI, 1 R

I doubt the Cardinals-Royals series gets as intense as Cubs-Sox. And I think we all know who the real winner is: the team Nelly roots for.

Wait, Nelly hasn’t been cool for like six years? You can’t expect me to know this stuff. Look at how pale I am.

Also: Olsen enjoys Wu-Tang Clan. Worth noting.

Carl Crawford- Tampa Bay Rayz (LF)
Vs. Chicago Cubs
3-for-5, 1 HR, 4 RBI, 1 R

Yeah, sure, the Rayz just pounded the Cubs for a three game sweep. But who is more lovable?

Jermaine Dye- Chicago White Sox (RF)
Vs. Pittsburgh Pirates
3-for-4, 2 HR, 6 RBI, 3 R

After each Dye homer, Nick Swisher did the worm.

By the way, has anyone ever seen Swish and Scotty 2 Hottie in the same place? Didn’t think so…


Joba Chamberlain- New York Yankees
Vs. San Diego Padres
Win: 5.2 IP, 1 ER, 9 K

The best athlete ever from Tatooine? Possibly. Somehow, Jeter still has a higher metaclorian count.

Zack Greinke- Kansas City Royals
Vs. St. Louis Cardinals
Win: 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 K

If the Royals really wanted to up the ante for this in-state series, why not wager Joe Posnanski? If KC loses, then Joe P goes to the Post-Dispatch. This makes sense to me.

Dave Bush- Milwaukee Brewers
Vs. Toronto Blue Jays
Win: 8 IP, 1 ER, 2 K

Not bad Bush, but try doing it against someone better than the Blue Jays, a team whose best hitter is Rod Barajas. Good thing that team couldn’t use Adam Dunn or anything.

...Thursday's worst


Jason Giambi
Vs. San Diego Padres
0-for-3, 3 K

Giambi is just a clown. I didn't even have a joke here.


AJ Burnett- Toronto Blue Jays
Vs. Milwaukee Brewers
Loss: 5 IP, 8 ER, 5 K, 4 BB

Question to Jim Hendry: do you really want this guy? Seriously?

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Matt Wood is a web editor for and editor of He is also a contributor for satirical sports publication The Heckler. Have a fantasy question? E-mail him.

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This page contains a single entry by Ricky O'Donnell published on June 20, 2008 12:29 AM.

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