The best fantasy baseball performances from Monday that you missed while you were waiting for your Bonnaro stage to be finished...
Hitters
Carlos Beltran- New York Mets (CF)
Vs. Los Angeles Angels
2-for-5, 2 HR, 2 RBI, 2 R, 1 SB
According to Beltran, manager Willie Randolph is under so much scrutiny that he has become a distraction to the team. Also a distraction to the team: Moises Alou’s pregame urination habits.
Jimmy Rollins- Philadelphia Philles (SS)
Vs. Boston Red Sox
3-for-5, 1 HR, 3 RBI, 2 R
Do you think Dizzy Dean also had a sweet rap song on his official website after he won the NL MVP in 1934? Let’s hope so.
Ryan Howard- Philadelphia Phillies (1B)
Vs. Boston Red Sox
3-for-5, 2 HR, 4 RBI, 2 R
Is Ryan Howard the man to finally make Billy Beane’s head explode? He holds the record for most strikeouts in a season (199!) and most walks in a nine-inning game (5).
Pitchers
Cole Hamels- Philadelphia Phillies
Vs. Boston Red Sox
Win: 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 K, 2 BB
Via the always reliable Cole Hamels Facts:
Cole has never had a date because everyone strikesout with him.
Rich Garces is convinced that's his problem too.
Andrew Miller- Florida Marlins
Vs. Seattle Mariners
Win: 7 IP, 1 ER, 2 K, 2 BB
Not only does he have filthy curveball, but Andrew Miller also was the governor of my favorite state, North Dakota, from 1909-1914. Somewhere, Cole Hamels is jealous.
Jair Jurrjens- Atlanta Braves
Vs. Colorado Rockies
Win: 7.2 IP, 0 ER, 7 K, 2 BB
Is it possible Jurrjens Surgeons is the worst named fan club of all-time? Probably, but only because I never went through with my grand idea to start The Shingo Squad in high school. Seriously, that frisbee pitch was nasty.
Now for the worst performances of Monday, sponsored by rhetorical questions...
Hitter
Manny Ramirez- Boston Red Sox (RF)
Vs. Philadelphia Phillies
0-for-4, K
Quickly: how bad must David Ortiz be defensively at first base for Manny not to be the DH on that team?
Pitcher
Carlos Silva- Seattle Mariners
Vs. Florida Marlins
Loss: 4.2 IP, 3 ER, 4 K, 1 BB
At 3-8, can Silva challenge Mike Maroth's level of futility?
Ricky O'Donnell is the editor of 
Matthew Olsen is the co-founder of 
Leave a comment