Scary things overheard at a Halloween party
"It may seem funny to you, but I voted for him."
"Hey, sister, had any action lately?"
"That looks very flattering on you."
"The real Donald Duck doesn't wear pants."
"Are you supposed to be a Crossing Guard, or a pedophile?"
"Iggy Pop with a shirt on?"
"Let me think. Who walks with a bad limp?"
"If you're a real cop, prove it and accept a bribe."
"You don't look like a flasher to me.""Ohhh -- scary! Rev. Jeremiah Wright!"
"You know who else liked to dress up as a clown?"
"That Girl Scout uniform fits in all the right places."
"It just so happens I am Joe the Plumber."
"Are those your real ears?"
"Are you a real doctor, or do you only play one on Presidential debates?"
"Whose idea was the candy-covered onions?"
"Hey, Chief! Where's the Great White Father?"
"That's not my tail."
"Are you wearing a pillow under there?"
"Put the gun down, Dalai Lama. Put...the...gun...down."
"We're going to bob for broccoli flowerets."
"How was I to know you didn't come as a topless dancer?"
"Stop laughing like crazy, Cormac. Everyone is looking at you."
"That's the most lifelike mask I've ever seen."
"Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play that song for me."
"I'm Ann Coulter in drag."
"You lie!"
"Tell you what, Darth. Star Wars sucks."
"I know Dolly Parton. Senator, you're no Dolly Parton."
"Do you have a designated driver, Your Holiness?"
"You're Hef, and these are..."
"I need karaoke partners for Monster Mash.
"You're standing on my wife."
"Hi, I'm Kanye. Your costume sucks compared to Beyonce's."
"Do you have a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see Bruce?"
"Are you supposed to be Sarah Palin?"
¶
¶
16 Comments
Leave a comment
Twelve months, 91 million visits at rogerebert.com.
"Top-ranking film critic on the web." -- Alexa.com
"He gets comments that are the envy of anyone in the business." -- New City, Chicago
"America's #1 pundit." -- Forbes
Roger Ebert
Roger Ebert's latest books are Scorsese by Ebert and Roger Ebert's Movie Yearbook 2009. Published recently: Roger Ebert's Four-Star Reviews (1967-2007) and Awake in the Dark: The Best of Roger Ebert. Books can be ordered through rogerebert.com. (Photo by Taylor Evans)
Recent Assets
"Are you supposed to be a Crossing Guard, or a pedophile?"
LOL.
Thanks for the laughs Mr. Ebert.
"Don't you have children?"
those are hilarious and of course very scary! what was the response to "Are you supposed to be Sarah Palin?"When I read that I immediately imagined the response to be: "why yes I am and I brought my hunting equipment with me! You betcha!" (bang*)
*bang not necessarily related to hunting equipment. might have been a champagne cork or something. I don't know
quick Halloween movie question while I'm commenting: what do you think the best Halloween movie is?
"You're no Jack Kennedy."
"Apparently deodorant is not part of your costume."
'i didn't know they had electric wheelchairs during the civil war'
Was at a party with a costume contest. After the winner was announced, a guy who was dressed up as Kanye took to the stage and claimed that another person in the office had one of the best Halloween costumes of ALL TIME.
Ebert: I just stole that and posted it up above.
Give it up for Will O'Hargen!
These had me laughing =)
I can't give you any of mine 'cause I haven't been to a Halloween party in yeeears and they weren't the best. I don't think anything interesting was said! Sad.
Happy [late] Halloween
Scariest this I heard on Halloween: Did you hear they greenlit Saw VII... in 3D?
A zombie was singing "I will survive" during karaoke. Now I've seen everything.
Great stuff, Roger. Have you ever seen Jimmy Cannon's piece about New Year's Eve? That's what this brought to mind.
"Are you the Ronald McDonald from the rehab center?"
"Get your hands off my besom."
Are you supposed to be last week's tepid sushi?
Just so you know it wasn't an unhappy ending after all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bU90-OwDIc
Ebert: Sacreligious, I'd hazard a guess.
Ebert: Sacreligious, I'd hazard a guess.
---I wouldn't say so. The disclaimer says "No deities were harmed during the filming of this song production."
Next Halloween, I'll have to hire some guy to hide in random places, and say these as people pass by. That will give them a scare.