that was a great read, Mr. Ebert. When I was a child, my parents enrolled me at a Deaf school which emphasized its oral teaching methods (lip reading and speech training, no sign language allowed). Besides having a good oral training program, I learned so much more from politics, history, grammar, literature, and science at my Deaf school than I ever did in a hearing public school.

when they sent me to a hearing public school after the teachers declared that I was "ready" to be mainstreamed in a hearing school, I was surprised by how clueless some of my fellow peer students were. One girl didn't even know what the word "academics" meant and she was 15!!! times like these, I was extremely thankful for being Deaf and for having gone to a good private Deaf school.

one of my friends, from a conservative Pakistani family, was enrolled in a private Islamic school because her parents wanted to shield her from "bad influences." Ironically, the Islamic school was a worse influence because there was so much talk about sex and drugs there than there at a public high school.

Boy, there's a lot here, Rodge. I'll start off with: a little Twitter conversation about the evil of nuns, I'm the only one to call them the best teachers I ever had, including college. They believed what they taught. Important enough to forgive the religious stuff that didn't really work. And they were considerably less cruel than the average parents of the day.

I've said before, Sister Mary Bart's 5th grade class is still what I refer to most in writing, and in observing. A day doesn't go by I don't diagram a sentence mentally as she taught, nor does a day go by I don't spot the difference between first, second, and third-hand info.

Not long ago I located my Catholic grade school, hoping to get a thank-you message to her, if she's still among us.

Good afternoon, Mr. Ebert:

My mother, Pauline (Panayiota) Coutavas Panagopoulos, taught 8th grade science (and many other subjects) in Haverhill, Massachusetts for over forty years. She is a passionate font of stories about her teaching experiences. One persistent story thread is her lament at the ethical, social, and academic decline of her students. She glows nostalgic at her 50s-60s career, when she enjoyed teaching polite, ebullient students. She grows resigned and disappointed when she recalls her teaching career post-70s, dealing with many arrogant, vulgar, and irreverent students. Now retired for several years, she frequently tells me that if she were a younger woman now, she would never contemplate teaching. I thoroughly agree with her.

In 1986, I considered teaching high school myself. Accepted into the Tufts Education Program, I embarked upon a 13-week teaching-internship at relatively affluent Lexington High School. I taught English to one junior class and two freshman classes. The juniors were deferential sweethearts, at least partially because they were studying for the SATs. In contrast, many of the freshman students were incorrigible brats. My supervisor, in my opinion, was little help and, I suspect, wanted to discourage me from this high-stress, low-pay occupation. He apparently succeeded. Contrary to the old epigram, not just anyone can teach. One needs a special balance of knowledge and discipline. My admiration for my mother's career grew considerably after my abortive foray into academics. I preferred tutoring college students anyway.

This brings back a lot of memories. I went to De La Salle Santiago Zobel from Preparatory to HIgh School. It was run by Christian Brothers and they were actually pretty decent folk. From Grade school onward every year the head brother would call me into his office on my birthday and make small talk, where he would give me a prayer card of a Saint. They were genuinely sweet moments.

I tend to rant a lot against the Catholic Church every now and then ever since those child abuse scandals came out. I believe I do it because those heinous acts ruin my own fond memories of the teachers and guardians who oversaw our well-being. In my school life, the weren't perfect, but they really really cared.

Love this post. I had a Catholic education from Kindergarten through senior year, and went on to attend a Catholic college. I didn't fully appreciate how good our education was until I got older. They taught me to think responsibly, to be reasonable, and later, to question our assumptions. I remember one religion class in high school where the teacher went through all the similarities between Old Testament stories and their religious predecessors. In another, he gave possible scientific explanations for the plagues of Egypt. They encouraged us to question religion, even as they taught it. They truly valued intellectual honesty. Sounds like things haven't changed much.

I chose "Anthony" for my confirmation name after I lost my wallet in 8th Grade, and Sister Kathleen told me to pray to him. I found it the next day. My best friend chose "Sebastian," telling the nuns it was after the martyr, but in reality after Sebastian Bach, the lead singer of the heavy metal band, Skid Row (our favorite, at the time). I thought he was the coolest guy in the world for getting away with it.

Roger, I went to Catholic grammar school (Our Lady of Good Counsel in Moorestown, NJ) about a decade after you, but your experiences seem similar to my own, mid-Vatican II years.

Like you, I am still struck by the education I had in a no-frills environment. One Sister (of St. Joseph) had an effective measure for encouraging writing--at least it worked for the more egocentric among us: You sat at your desk and wrote a story--and if you finished you could run up to the front of the class and read it--preferably with great drama. Foolishness and thrilling tales were encouraged; even the poor writers had fun. (To this day, I can still crank out a first draft pretty quickly.) And although Ed Nieto and I took the bus--and so were supposed to stay on school grounds during lunch--they let us walk down Main St. to the public library, where I succumbed to the charms of the paperback SF novel.

While the classes were relatively homogeneous, there was a diversity of ethnicity (and somewhat of race)--and certainly of ability: Back then, Catholic schools were one haven for the developmentally disabled; they may not have received the proper education, but their parents of limited means found a safe space for them.

Thanks for your memories--but blast it, Ebert, you did it again: brought a tear to my eye with the May Day song, which I haven't had in my head for decades. For some reason it made me think of me dancing with a round-faced frizzy-haired girl (Eileen? I can't recall) to "See You in September" at an 8th-grade dance. Never did see her again.

What a lovely picture of your childhood education. I now see some of the forces that shaped the writer you are today.

And apropos of nothing, does that Mary poem strike you as something that might have been repurposed from some Pagan May Day Rite of Spring?

What a different educational foundation came from living in Champaign and attending Col. Wolfe, on the corner of Healey and Fourth. And from having one parent attend the Methodist church and the other be semi-supportive of religious education.

I enjoy your sharing your memories.

Yes, those children do deserve the love of God just as much as anyone else and I believe they will get it no matter what religion. Why is it such a human thing to want to belong to some exclusive club that no one else can go to even in the afterlife?

Regarding your life, do you believe Prtrait of an Artist as a Young Man will function as a "prologue" of sorts to your memoir? Did you read that book during your time in Catholic school?

"The impression I got was that some students always could write, and some of the others would never be able to."

Sometimes I wonder if I belong to the second group.

I am reminded of this article, from my own discipline:
Separating Programming Sheep from Non-Programming Goats

Your tales of your youth and upbringing never cease to amuse me. Thanks for the great blog. I'm pretty sure I would have hated you in grade school, but am glad I never had the opportunity. Keep up the good work.

The description of your education fascinates me; as a co-founder and principal of a college prep school for low-income students, we have found that so many of the techniques of the "old-school" way of teaching are absolutely critical to the success of our kids who are years behind academically and troubled emotionally. At Atlas Preparatory School, we hold our scholars to extremely high expectations; we expect respect, discipline, participation and hard work. Scholars sit with correct posture and use nothing more than pencil and paper. We are strict, but warm. Our teachers custom create our curriculum to the highest standards and rigor and we have a much longer school day for scholars to slowly gain back the ground they've lost by middle school. Our building is austere and scholars are content using only rubber balls, jump ropes and chalk in our parking lot "playground." Our scholars are taught to be polite, to say "yes, sir/ma'am" and "thank you" instead of mumbling. So much of what we do is a back-to-basics education that gives our scholars more necessary learning than they would get at their neighborhood school - no frills, no excuses. It is amazing to me to think how far we've strayed from learning fundamentals in favor of 21st Century this or that, and while there is no "one-size-fits-all" education, it is obvious that our low-income and minority scholars are learning more and growing faster than any of their peers from the neighborhood. Yes, things have changed since the days of parochial schooling, but so much of what worked then works now.

Thought you'd be proud to know that there are poor 10 & 11 year olds out in Colorado who are now on the path to college because of our fundamental change of expectations.

Dear Roger;

May the God of those marvelous nuns bless them for helping to shape such a beautiful mind. Since some of these Sisters were so young perhaps they may still be with us watching your career with pride and reading your journal.

The radiation story is enlightening. It reminds me of the horrible shoe-fitting fluoroscope story. Wikipedia has a brief description.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoe-fitting_fluoroscope

Finally I must offer your audience the opportunity to read Christopher Hitchens' medical update in Vanity Fair. On falling ill he writes; "I see it as a very gentle and firm deportation, taking me from the country of the well across the stark frontier that marks off the land of malady." Such a unique and thoroughly wonderful voice. I often have to stop and reread sentences and paragraphs from him not because I do not comprehend them but because I am astonished by them.

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2010/09/hitchens-201009

Good to hear some Catholic grade school memories. By the time I was in Catholic grade school, there was only a handful of nuns (only 1 by the time I left). Our playground doubled as the church parking lot (or the other way around). Now the school has been taken over by the big private Catholic High School as a extraneous campus. Oddly almost everyone in my class went to public school after; everyone in the High School came from public school.

I too am attending a Catholic secondary (or "high") school, known as St. Anne's. However, since I live in Ontario, it is a publicly funded school, which offends my Protestant and egalitarian sides since Catholics are the only ones who get their religious schools funded by taxpayer dollars here in Ontario. Our school scores very highly, in fact is acclaimed as one of the finest secondary schools in Ontario if you take the results of standardized tests at face value.

The staff is almost uniformly excellent, and there are more than enough students around me with compatible interests and engaging personalities. I have more friends here than I ever did at the middle school I attended in the Chicago area (northwestern Indiana, in fact).

Yet I feel boxed in, both by the geography of the area–which is primarily rural and features picturesque landscapes and beautiful Lake Huron but few amenities of modern cities–and by the curriculum we are taught. For the first two years of high school in Ontario I was essentially reviewing the material I first learned in 7th and 8th grade, which contributes to no end of boredom, and, like in the US, the geography and history programs are almost uniformly shallow and dreadfully lacking in substance. Not that they are poorly-taught, but that the material itself is so incomplete. I am something of a passionate lover of history, and plan to make teaching that subject my profession someday, but I would appreciate more emphasis put into the teaching of the humanities everywhere.

More than anything, I was looking forward to the 12th grade philosophy class, which was loved by the few students who braved the first few weeks (apparently, more than half the initial class dropped the course). However, I learned that it only runs once every other year. My education is fine, but I must admit that, to truly make the most of it, I've had to branch out and make uncounted trips to the library for further study. No matter how great one's education is, it will always be incomplete, which I why I enjoy contemplating and discovering and analyzing information to the extent that I do. I never grew out of asking questions, which I fear is an instinct the test-focused and stringently regulated education system we call our own has squelched in recent decades.

Wait a minute...I confess to know little about American health care in the 1950s (I am but 31 years of age)...but you really got monthly doses of radiation to your cranium as a child? To cure ear infections?

I'd love to read a full journal essay about this...that is, if it doesn't make you seethe with anger.

Dear Mr. Ebert -

I have been enjoying your journal posts over the past few months when focusing on your Catholic upbringing - I have been following your work for years, and I never knew you and I shared similar childhoods under the guide of Jesus and Mary.

These days, I myself attend a weekly Mass where it is still celebrated in the old Tridentine rite, something else I know you have focused on before, something that brings me great joy and comfort whenever I am in attendance.

Another thing that brings me joy and comfort is that, over the past year, I have also started my own blog, focusing mainly on the amateur movie reviews I give.

You are one of the main inspirations for my taking the step in that direction.

Since I was of that age where nuns watched over my every move, I have greatly admired your work - you and Spielberg are the two main heavies that lit the spark for my love of film.

I thank you for that, and I thank you now for sharing your trips down Memory Lane, especially those involving Mary, Queen of the May and St. Dominic Savio.

I hope you are well, and looking forward to reading more reviews and insights from you in the months and years to come.

Another vivid reminiscence, Roger. I was raised Catholic, but never went to parochial school, so between that and my atheism I don't know about my ticket to heaven.

I had the same experience with glasses: years and years of living in a blurry world until somebody tested my eyes.

Roger -

A few years ago I was the director of Music and Liturgy at St. Vincent Ferrer Parish in River Forest, right on North Avenue. For years we wanted to use "O Mary, We Crown Thee" for our Marian May Crowning, but an exhaustive - and I do mean exhaustive - search of archaic Catholic hymnals and service books never turned up the definitive musical score. Finally I resorted to quizzing a number of the elderly Dominicans, trying to re-construct the melody from their memories as best I could. There was always some discrepancy, always one note that differed from one version to the next, but to a person, no one could ever remember actually being taught it via notes on a page. It's largely been passed down through the oral tradition, something that has lodged deep within what liturgists have recently been referring to as our "Catholic DNA." Can you remember actually having been taught "Adoro Te, Devote?" Doesn't it feel like something you've always instinctively known?

Ebert: Maybe we learned off the blackboard? I rememeber our Stephen Foster Songbook but no actual Catholic hymnals except in church (where my favorite hymn was "Holy God, We Praise Thy Name, " partially because all the notes were well within everyone's range, so the congregation could really belt it out).

As for the Latin hymns, "Tantum Ergo" has a power beyond description. Latin is so easy to pronounce (apparently; do we know how the Romans pronounced it?). I remember being told that Latin was one foreign language the Japanese liked because it has no sounds not familiar in Japan. You couldn't say that for French.

I went to a Catholic school, too. I attended from grade 2 through grade 6. The teachers were IHM nuns. I began to lose my faith in the third grade because of the bizarre and incredible stories about religion I was exposed to then. No one who could think clearly could possibly believe such nonsense. Certainly, no one with the slightest knowledge of science could swallow such ridiculousness. I have the IHM nuns of Saint Thomas the Apostle Catholic school to thank for my Enlightenment.

I'm 28 years old and also went to Catholic school for grades 1 through 8. The 1980's and 90's saw a decline in the amount of teaching done by nuns, but there were still a couple.

I was taught by Sister Rose in the 3rd grade, who was an amazing teacher all around, though she knew exactly how to make you feel like a jackass if you were talking out of turn in her class, or if you hadn't completed your weekly reading. One of my favorites was when a fellow student (never me, of course), had to stand facing the wall in the middle of the chalkboard, holding their book, and reading while the rest of us discussed the literature.

In my middle school years, I was taught by Sister Karen. Her main subject was mathematics, but I did also have a literature class or two with her, and, of course, Religion class (translation: Catholic class).

When I was going through, Holy Family had two campuses in town. One was kindergarten through second, then jumped to middle school with six through eight. The second campus, South as we called it, was third through fifth. Each campus had a principal, though the head of South Campus was referred to as "vice." Both of these principals were nuns during my time, and both Sister Marys.

There were other nuns that I either did not have or did not make enough of an impact for me to remember them all too clearly. My step-aunt was a nun and taught there, but she moved to a different city before she actually would have taught me directly. A nun taught music class, but she moved back to the Mother House in Leavenworth before I graduated. For the most part, as nuns moved out, non-nuns were all that was brought in to fill out the ranks.

My education was, I believe, better than what I would have received in any of the surrounding public schools in my hometown, and my class mates all tend to agree. When we hit high school, there were very few of us that WEREN'T in some sort of honors or Advanced Placement class the entire way through. At our ten-year high school reunion this summer, I was pleased to find that those classmates that I accompanied all the way through from the beginning became teachers or, slightly randomly, policemen. Me, I'm an English major fixing computers for money and trying to finish my first novel as my passion (strange how the passion so often has to come second in this world). Nonetheless, education and, it seems, discipline have been instilled in all of us.

My step-father still works for Holy Family, just as he did as I was going through. My younger siblings all went through Holy Family at different points of education, though I was the only one to go for all eight years. As time has passed, they have moved into a new, unified building, but they have lost all but one nun, that one being my aunt who moved back several years ago. The rest of the staff are "every day Joes" with varying degrees of Catholicism running through their blood, some not at all. I will tell you, though, there was a slight uproar when one of our Catholic Religion teachers told us that the Old Testament wasn't to be taken literally and that the Gospel was an approximation of what really happened. Needless to say, she did not return to teach us the following year.

I was Protestant during my time in Catholic School, which was an experience all of its own. I know Catholic Doctrine better than many Catholics I know. We would have entire days spent in Masses or rehearsing for special Masses. I was not allowed to have Communion or go through Confession as my other Catholic classmates, but I was still taught the same. I was not allowed to bless myself with the Sign of the Cross, though I was still taught all of its meanings. My eighth grade year, we read the entire New Testament over the course of the school year. Between that and Presbyterian Sunday School, I still know more about the Bible than many of my friends. In high school, my friend and I even became known as the "Bible Answer Guys," because we probably knew where it was in the Bible, and if we didn't could find it in a matter of seconds.

Where am I now? I'm Atheist, but I have the utmost respect for other people's beliefs and their need for them. I'm not out to deconvert anyone. Usually much the opposite. I want, more than anything, for people to hold onto what they believe and hold themselves true to whatever standard that may set (this causes frustration and anger towards Fox News and many in politics these days, but that's another story).

My wife and I will be have children sometime in the new future, and I have talked to her about sending them to Catholic school. With my Atheism and her Native American Paganism, it may be a little tricky, but I know they would be taught well. Could I deal with my child coming home with the religious teaching? I could, but it would take a filter to make sure they understood the morality and the symbolism, not the literal Catholic take. In the end, it would come down to wanting the same for my child that I had, and that was an outstanding education coupled with a moral compass. Even with my lacking religion today, I would be a completely different person if not for Holy Family School, and I happen to like who I am.

I went to a Catholic school, too. I attended from grade 2 through grade 6. The teachers were IHM nuns. I began to lose my faith in the third grade because of the bizarre and incredible stories about religion I was exposed to then. No one who could think clearly could possibly believe such nonsense. Certainly, no one with the slightest knowledge of science could swallow such ridiculousness. I have the IHM nuns of Saint Thomas the Apostle Catholic school to thank for my Enlightenment.

There are millions of student remeberances of a great catholic education in Chicago. Similiar stories of no cafeterias no playground equipment,60 kids in a class being taught by one nun,no aide dividing us into three groups of 20 to manage,20working with sister,20reading 20 doing written work and rotating

We got GREAT primary educations private school for the great masses.
did we learn to Diagram or what

Roger,
I'm 15 years old and really into film, so naturally I keep up with all your work. I've never commented on your blog before but read every entry. I really connect with the things you share here, particularly your stories of growing up Catholic. Attending a Catholic school from kindergarten to eighth grade, I can very much relate. The part where you mentioned liking your non-Catholic friends but knowing that they had "blown it" made me laugh; I remember having those same thoughts. I had a great friend in grade school who did not attend any sort of church. I don't exaggerate in saying almost every time we would be together, I was thinking what a shame it was she wouldn't be making it to heaven.
Your entries on this subject, particularly "How I Believe In God," have really resonated with me. I've struggled the past year or two with religion, and am afraid I have as good as lost my faith in all the teachings I was told as a kid. I know that my thoughts on religion now are much more rational than they were in those days, but dammit, I miss knowing exactly where I was headed when I died. I felt very guilty at first for thinking it all might actually be a sham, but reading your thoughts on religion have really eased my mind and made me think in other ways.
You saying you weren't very gifted at sports but sought after as an entertainer? That's me too. I won't bore you with examples, but often I read your blog and just think I'm reading about me. As a young person, it's nice to have. Please, never stop writing, and thank you.

Ben

This made me think a lot of my school life. I have gone to a private Christian school starting my Freshman year, up until now (I have just finished my Junior year). I was homeschool before this. Your financial situation sounded a lot like ours. There was no state funding at all, because it is against Indiana law to fund religious schools. The K-12 school of 180 students always depended on tuition, and the kindness of strangers willing to invest in the school. Sadly after over 30 years of education (and very good education from what I learned in my three years there) it closed this past May due to financial difficulties. We weren't even able to pay the teachers until the end of the year, the last three weeks were spent vacationing with parent volunteers. I was excited to hear there was a movie discussion group, but became disappointed when we watched movies like Even Almighty.

It's sad to see such a nice school go. With a small high school of around 50 students, everyone knew each other. You'd practically talk to each high schooler every day. My class only had about 13 kids in, and I will be sad to see all of my friends split up over the county this coming school year. It's sad to see things you love change isn't it?

This is touching and humorous and relateable. Please keep up the posts like this. I'm also the product of Catholic primary education, though of of much more recent vintage. A lot has changed since Vatican II - fewer nuns, for one - but a lot has stayed the same and I'm please at how much I can relate to a story like this one.

Probably the perfect thing to say during a schiesty magazine salesman's pitch, and you got cheated.

What an amazing story about the adaptability of children and how one minor incident can change one's life.

How did you make it through grade school and what survival skills did you learn before the revelation of glasses?

Perhaps the sisters were well-meaning, but it does take special training to detect learning disabilities and the behaviors shaped by them.

Ebert wrote:

"In general the Dominicans applied Catholicism toward liberal ends, such as support for equal rights, freedom of speech, separation of church and state, and the rights of workingmen."

It's a shame that contemporary liberalism turns the above mentioned ideals upside down. Instead of treating all people equally (or extending additional assistance to people based on socio-economic need) our government mandates that certain people receive preferential treatment based solely on race. This unequal treatment emboldens racists by sanctioning the misguided belief that some people are intellectually inferior and require government assistance because of skin color.

Instead of supporting free speech, today's liberals support restricting campaign speech and shutting down talk radio opposition via the Fairness Doctrine.

Instead of Separation of church and state, today's liberals persecute religious groups by suing Catholic and Lutheran hospitals that refuse to perform abortions and taking away the state adoption licenses of religious organizations that oppose gay marriage.

Instead of protecting workingmen, today's liberals support Card Check which eliminates the secret ballot in union elections thereby exposing union members to coercion and intimidation.

Great post. Obviously you received a world class education and the diagramming of sentences clearly paid off for in your chosen vocation. Thanks for sharing your childhood memories and pictures.

As usual, you deliver one of the best memoir posts I've ever read.

I laughed out loud reading your troublemaking questions to your teachers.("Sir would you like to buy a subscription?")

I sense that you were a very smart kid, not just because you burried your nose in books during and after classes but by the smart questions you asked in class ("I asked in class one day if the little African children wouldn't be better off without missionaries, because if they never learned about salvation through the Church, they wouldn't run the risk of hell.")

The glasses incident was so well written your words projected vivid images in my head never to be forgotten. What a memorable paragraph about what clearly was a memorable part of your life.

You did seem to get one "heck" of an education Roger. I attended a German school in Cairo. The teachers were very strict and organized-a bit too strict. We were forced to memorize everything and everything had to be written in a particular format. After about eight years I transferred to the American International School in Cairo and I remember it felt like I was set free.

All of the limitations and guidelines were no longer a requirement. This helped me write and read about subjects I wanted to write about rather than being assigned to do so. Still, I remember my American teachers were very impressed by the organization of my essays which I picked off during my years in the German school.

My brother used to wear braces and my older brother a head gear and as a young boy I was jealous of their new items. So I asked my mom for glasses and we went to a doctor in one of those Boots stores in London. She pointed at the pyramid of letters and I could clearly see what they were, but instead faked my reactions. All I wanted was glasses. I must've been the only kid who thought glasses were cool. Maybe it was it made me look smarter. Anyway, my mother got me the glasses and they would constantly cause headaches. I quickly got rid of them and nailed my next eye sight test.

After reading this blog post, I called my mother and told her about my fake bad vision. :)

Best Regards,
Wael Khairy

Wonderful post. I enjoyed five years of Catholic private school, until after my fifth grade year when we moved away. It was like any other school, except for it was Catholic; we went to mass every month, opened the day with the Lord's Prayer, said grace before lunch, ended the day with a Hail Mary, and went to yearly confession around Lent. I remember sitting next to the encyclopedias, and spending most of my lessons reading about the Greek gods and goddesses. Our playground was the parking lot between the school and St. Francis Xavier church across the way; I remember it having monkey bars, and surrounded by a gravel pit.

When I came to public school, I remember everyone regarding me as being a bit brainy, which didn't make sense to me, as I wasn't especially great in school before. Our curriculum wasn't particularly advanced, but I feel like I got a good education, or at least a more satisfying one; public school teachers often had a feeling of inevitability in their teaching style.

I'm glad I was able to go to a Catholic college; I'm a recent graduate of Carroll College from the diocese of Helena, Montana. It still had vestiges of my experience at St. Joseph Elementary: the class sizes were smaller, many opportunities to go to Mass or contribute to our fellow students making a trip to Guatemala, and my education felt just this much tougher. Again, not particularly advanced, but just enough to make you sweat for your classes. I was able to find help whenever I needed it, allowing me to receive an excellent education.

Thank you for this post, Roger. I still remember my Catholic grade school days, and I'm glad to share the nostalgia.

Were times different then, or what? It seems like even the words now don't mean what they did then - "liberal," "faith," "education," you name it.

I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed reading all about your experience. From my perspective, it seems like a different world.

I grew up a southern Baptist, under a system by which you are not allowed at ask questions about the practices of Judaism, Buddhism, Islam or any other religion. You were even forbidden to ask questions about other Christian denominations; Catholics, Methodists, Episcopalian etc.

I think the point was that the adults around me didn't want to confuse my mind. They wanted me to keep my eye on the ball. It sounds hypocritical, but it was a way to keep me focused. "There are many roads to heaven," my great-grandmother told me, "and they all lead through the Baptist Church.

The payoff was that, as I got older, I gained an interest in other religions. I became curious about those things that adults had sheltered me from. Learning about other religious practices also gave made me interested in other cultures, both nationally and internationally.

I remember as a kid sitting under our coffee table with the World Book encyclopedia looking over pictures of Brazil, China, Australia, Scotland, Iceland, the counties of Africa and Europe and Asia. I was, for the most part, self-taught and it all came from that restriction. Funny how that works out.

Thank-you Roger for the beautiful piece on Catholic School. I have passed it around to many friends.

Can't wait to read your book Roger. Thanks for sharing some of your life as you write this August. I winced when I read about the radiation treatments. :(
I had acne in middle school and my parents wanted me to look good. They sent me to a skin doctor whenever I broke out and he gave me pills to speed up my heart without telling me what they did. I thought I was having a panic attack, although I didn't know the phrase back then. I had to call him and he explained with some annoyance what the pills were doing to me. And then there were the treatments under the sun lamp. Ultraviolet ray bombardment that gave me sunburn even in winter. Might explain my skin cancer.
That was an awesome way to find out you needed glasses. Like I always say, you can't make this stuff up!

"The impression I got was that some students always could write, and some of the others would never be able to."

The ones that can't are probably abused kids. Abuse, I think, is when one needs to make others feel small because they weren't given self-esteem, which means abuse on their own kids, or the systematic making them feel small by undermining their efforts etc. This is a constant sad situation being projected onto the kids and as a result of having to always take the sadness, then end up looking sad, probably confusing it as their own sadness and the process starts again.

This means that the home is not a studying environment, because how can the children read when their parents NEED to make them feel small, and so will yell at them so as to make sure they don't get any ideas about learning? They need to make everyone feel small. These are the kids that don't talk right either and mumble and are extremely soft-spoken from depression because their single purpose in life is to make up for the shortcomings of their parents.

You're right. With this life, they will never be able to write. And then their kids won't be able to either.

You think that's bad? I went to Palm Springs Golf & Beach High School and the second tennis court was shut down for half of my senior year due to bird shit.

Essays like this are the reason I'm looking forward so much to your memoirs Roger. Nothing wrong with videogame discussions but it is in your autobiographical blogs where I believe you shine the most.
A lot of similarities with my own education but several differences also. For 12 of my early years I listened to the "propagation of the faith" quote so often that this phrase turned into my standard line whenever collecting money from anybody for anything (up until today of course).
The Church down here was very badly persecuted at the begining of the XX century so the teaching of religion in schools was strictly forbidden when I was a kid. This doesn't mean it didn't happen all the time. Even politicians sent their children to Catholic school (in many cases anyway).
I did get to study in a school ran by Franciscan Sisters in the US (upstate NY) for a year when I was 11. It seems things were a bit different from your time and I'm guessing that was because of Vatican II which meant those elaborate sister habits were long gone by then (even though Hollywood seems to believe them to be the norm up until today). I do remmember a funny story though, one night after dinner a friend and I were still hungry and being aware of the exact location of the cookie jar, we sneaked into the kitchen which was clearly empty, just when we started opening such we heard a voice come out of nowhere "what are you doing here?" which obviously made us ran out of there like crazy. After much debate whether that had actually been the voice of God issuing a warning, we decided to try to forget the matter (until the following day that is), when the man in charge of us (it was a military school) tried to sweat out a public confession by warning the whole group "some boys were seen in the kitchen and we know their identities so they better confess" but, as faith would have it, at the precise moment we almost stood up, three other kids beat us to it. Boy, few times in life did I get to dodge a bullet like that.
By the way, I found nothing wrong about your "subscription" remark. Actually I laughed out loud when I read it. I'm just surprised about the lack of reaction from your schoolmates, I supposse sarcasm wasn't as common back then.

If your Catholic and don't go to Catholic school do you go to hell? :)

do you know james spader?

I see my horses have become popular on Twitter. Click on my name for today's pic.

Whoa. Whoa. Wait a minute. Hold on. Dominic Savio? THE Dominic Savio? The one who first triggered my reservations about this Catholic stuff after all?

I googled around a bit to look for stories about him, to see if this was the same guy. It appears to be, but something's missing.

What's missing, a vivid early milepost in my doubts about the value of the Beatific Vision after all, is a certain story about just how devoted this boy was.

Wasn't Dominic Savio the kid who scootched along for ten miles on his knees to pray to a statue of the Virgin Mary? He sure was. The way the nuns told it, Dom got sick as hell after that bloody escapade and died. The story was omitted from the links I checked.

Now Roger, this being your Confirmation name (He was canonized by the time I got to school. You were a good guesser even as a kid!), you may take exception to the veracity of this particular event in the life of a virtually psychotic little Goody Two-shoes. But it's so. Nuns don't lie unless asked directly about their sexual activities by persons who have no business asking (which I have lately revealed on Twitter -- a first-hand report, according to Sister Mary Bart's teaching on journalistic credibility).

Dominic Savio is not to be confused with Saint Isaac Jogues, whose fingers were heartily chewed off by Indian children. Isaac Jogues was another role model who began to raise my child-like doubts about this Church thing.

When Isaac was a boy, see, he was chopping up some firewood outside for his mom. Accidentally, he very nearly chopped his own foot off at the ankle. Rather than scream and complain and whine like sinful protestant children would do, Isaac limped to bed meekly, not making so much as a disturbing sound.

In a while, his mother began to wonder what had become of the firewood. Nearly inadvertantly she stumbled across the unwhimpering dying Holy Boy in his blood-soaked bed, called a doctor, and saved the young Saint for a mission where he'd get his fingers chewed off in Canada.

Devotionary tales like this, plus really cute girls, did sway me from my calling as a priest after all. But Catholic elementary school was STILL the best goddam education I ever got, and I even went to Skidmore on a scholarship the year it went co-ed. Hot cha.

It was how you discovered WHAT word? Just kidding. :)

Roger, I've been reading your blog for a few months, and am now convinced that your words are a gift to us. I'm convinced that young men and women will become inspired to write because of your blog.

I remember the third or fourth time I saw "My Neighbor Totoro," I realized that the film heightened my experience in this life... I had become elevated (I think that's the word you use). And I experience that now reading your blog, which is one of the most stunning autobiographies I've ever read* (who cares if it's not in print yet?).

Anyway, thanks--and hopefully someday soon I'll get to hold the above words in my hand, printed... or on a Kindle. Or something.

- John

*This is totally ancillary--my favorite autobiography is Chuck Jones, who dedicated a whole chapter to a cat he had that wore a hollowed-out grapefruit on his head. Anyone who does that is a great man. Also, the book had lots of pictures. I'm guessing your book won't have a lot of those.

The most amusing line I have read all day:

"I suppose in another sense I was being a little asshole. That pattern has persisted."

Sister Gilberta and the Curtis Circulation Company Pitchman are now selling plastic bottles of counterfeit "Holy Grotto of Lourdes Water " on eBay.

Very entertaining post as usual, Mr. Ebert.

I raised my hand. "Sir," I asked, "would you like to buy a subscription?"

I can't believe no one laughed at that. That gave me the best laugh all week. Either they had no sense of humor or they were so impressed by the remark that they didn't know how to react.

I was not gifted at sports, but was sought after as an entertainer. I had the knack of reading a book and repeating its dramatic highlights, and I'd walk around the block regaling my followers with the career of Harry Houdini.

That reminds me of how I used to read my favorite books (most were movie novelizations, go figure) to my grandmother while she did household work. She loved listening to my narration because the stories helped make her day go by faster. At least that's what she told me. She may have just been amused by my enthusiasm.

You seem to have somewhat of a visual resemblance to Saint Dominic. Was that another reason you selected his name or just coincidence?

I remember nothing really from most of my life.

I remember a few kind of memorable things, but outside of unusual moments, there's nothing concerning how I spent my days, because I had parents who not only didn't give a s*it, but that they were abusive; but once again, I can only speculate on this from abusive things directed much around my teen years onward, which is also in the unusual category, everything else being completely blank. It seems that the unusual is what I had to rely on as to what was usual, and there aren't a lot of those.

Let's see what I remember from my school:

In pre-school, I remember the outside and inside, and I don't remember which came first.

On the inside, my sister who is five years older, I think was a kind of helper at the school and I think she used to tease me about a pretty girl in my class (whose name also happened to be the same as my mothers, but she didn't know that). Actually, I'm not even sure if she teased me about it, but anyway, I would look over (pretty sure as a result of what she said, though not bothered by the teasing, but of having sparked my curiosity) at the pretty girl and think that she was indeed pretty. She had a pretty face and green eyes, I think, and had a kind of boyish haircut in the sense that it was short; kind of more puffy version of Rachel Maddow's hair. I probably could recognize her today if I saw her about 22 years later; I don't remember much, but I can kind of remember what I do remember better than well. So, I can remember kind of looking over at her and her not noticing me, but just paying attention.

I also remember when the teacher asked us to count to 100. I counted as fast as you can imagine anyone counting it in a prodigious manner, all in one breath and in a serious way.

I remember playing/singing "who stole the cookie in the cookie jar?" (who me? yes, you? couldng't be...then who? [someone's name] stole the cookie from the cookie jar). I remember feeling guilty when it came around kind of believing as though I had stolen the cookie from the cookie jar, although knowing that it was just a game. I didn't like this game.

I remember a girl standing on the table (or chair, I think) at the cafeteria table and saying "I have a weiner, I have a weiner." I reported this to my mother later that night in the bath tub and telling her how stupid it was. I was probably about 4 or 5 here.

Outside I remember some kids threw dirt in my eyes and I thought "Why this is no good. Why I think they did it on purpose. I don't understand this." I'm just recently as of maybe a year ago starting to understand this.

I also remember outside, going back over to a door and looking inside a crack at a naked girl that was supposed to be getting dressed. I don't remember if the door was already opened a crack and I looked in or if I had opened it a crack. All I know is the girl was standing there in the middle of the room, from what I think I remember, kind of just standing there on her tippy toes or something I don't know, but she was kind of basically embracing her nakedness with her clothes on the floor next to her, rather than getting dressed. I got caught by some teacher who kind of gasped, and that's all I remember from that. Where did I get an idea like that? Possibly because I had looked at some little pornographic booklet, not really a magazine, a small pocket-sized booklet, of black and white pornographic images.

Then I moved to Houston:

In kindergarten there, I remember the first day of school going out to recess and the teacher made us empty out the dirt before going back inside. I came back home and told my, with my sister next to her, that my teacher was really nice because she let us do that. I was laughed at, understandably, by both of them, my sister laughing pretty hard at this. I think this basic rule of practical hygiene seemed like such a nice gesture because I don't think my parents really gave a c*ap about me; something as small as this seemed huge for some reason.

Then there was a lot of teasing lead by one kid who I would then chase around and try to fight. This, I think, got me sent to the principals office and also subsequently led to my mother going to the boys house to talk with the parents and them. I was left alone in the boys room not knowing what was going on with them and just looking that the boy had a Power Glove, which was a Nintendo controller you wore on your hand. I think my mother was just being nosy. Then when she got her information, I had to come out and say I was sorry, or maybe we both did. I don't know.

The next year, at the end of the year, there was a track and field day, where people raced etc. I lost to my neighbor from a two aparments down, who also had been held back a year, so was a bit older. My mom came up to me and told me this fact, that he won because he was older etc. I guess you can see a pattern here of my mother coming in to fight my battles. I guess I kind of felt better about what she said, but was still humbled that I just knew that someone was better at running faster. I guess I've always had to teach myself the lessons.

Well, I'll stop there for now, but these are really the only things I can remember.

My life consists of little moments like this with no connection them except they were a break from the usual chain of events, about which I don't remember. What did I do in a normal day? No idea and that's how most of my life has been.

Roger -your memory of your childhood days at St. Mary's is remarkable. I didn't realize at the time how fortunate I was to be in the same classroom with you for 9 years. Reading your journals have brought back so many memories. I am still hoping that you will be able to attend our first St. Mary's Catholic School reunion for anyone who has ever attended the school. Like I told you recently at our high school reunion, the oldest person coming is now 97 years old. Sister Mary Morton (who was our classmate) will be honored for 50 years of service to the Servants of the Holy Heart of Mercy.

Keep the journals coming.

Ebert: Kay, we had absolutely no idea what an extraordinary time we lived in. When you brought your Elvis records to our graduation party, did you have any idea they would still be popular more than 50 years later?

I love your blog. I went to Catholic grade school and high school (all girls). This hits so close to home. You are such a beautiful writer; you capture it all without demeaning or trivializing any of it. The sisters that taught in my high school were way ahead of the curve and we were "walking the walk" of Vatican II before it was printed. I sent my boys to Catholic school. It's different now: no sisters, not 50 kids in a classroom, and no Baltimore catechism (they did have an 8th grade teacher who was a semi-believer in it, though!). For high school, they went to the Jesuits - thank you for the social justice and questioning minds of that order.

Great stories sir.....
Doesn't this reinforce the notion that money doesn't guarantee quality education?? In St Louis city they spend 13 K per child and have a 40% graduation rate. I don't blame the teachers which is the popular thing to do. I mostly blame the parents. Children from homes and parents that value education can learn in a barn with 80 kids per class. There was a famous all african american school( St Ambrose I think) in New Orleans in the 50's which did as well academically as the comparabe all white school. They had up to 50 kids in a class, poor facilities but the difference was the parents gave a damn.

Roger - Beautiful and pure and sweet. Thank you so much for sharing these memories. I desperately sought a return to innocence after years of experimenting with lifestyles that brought nothing but angst. I am no religious fundamentalist but did find, as Khaled Hosseini so eloquently expressed in The Kite Runner: "There is a way to be good again."

Roger:

We share similar experiences in Catholic Elementary school, mine in New York City. The same school made infamous by George Carlin, who had attended a few years before I. We played in the street at 121st near Broadway, dodging the occasional car that weaved around the barricade. The "playground" on the roof was closed due to its state of disrepair, and everyone walked home after school, usually unattended. There was no thought that it was dangerous. The Sister in second grade would give spelling tests daily. 10 words printed in pencil, on a sliver of lined paper. She would grade the papers through a magnifying glass, and if she saw one erasure (or God forbid, a spelling error), you got an F. I thank those relatively few days of terror for making me an excellent speller and proof-reader my entire life.

So as I read your post, what struck me was an all-too-common mistake made by modern writers. You say "We learned how to write well, spell, and god knows we learned how to diagram a sentence." Knowing that your proofreading skills are impeccable, I'm sure that you intentionally spelled "God" in lower case. This is an intentional error in many cases, since any form of religious reverence is now terribly out of date, and while it was scandalous just a few years ago to even imply that one had atheistic beliefs, now it's considered fashionable and "open minded".

But putting aside personal religious beliefs, isn't it proper to capitalize the proper name of a person (using that term broadly) whether you believe that that person exists or not? When you write reviews of fantasy movies, do you use the capitalization of their names as a means to project your idea of whether they exist or not? And clearly in your journal you are referring to the Catholic, Christian god, known as "God". Would you commit such an omission to Allah, Krishna, Abraham, or for that matter Gollum, Anakin Skywalker or the Grinch?

Surely you were taught, along with diagramming sentences, that proper names are to be capitalized, and not to use capitalization selectively to express a subtle insult to those that believe that He actually exists.

Ebert: I agree, and usually capitalize God. Whether or not he exists, his name is a proper noun.

Roger, My Dad received radiation treatment for ear infections in the 50's, and ended up with cancer in his parathyroid/thyroid glands in the 70's, and a recurrence in the 90's. Still alive... you aren't the only one.

The title brought back a cascade of memories... It was a May ritual to seek out the best flowers for Mary from your yard, your neighbor's yard or the side of the road. We spent the entire month of May crowing Mary in the morning, class by class as each day passed. A life-sized Mary crown ensconced within a brick grotto dominated the courtyard and would receive a crown of fresh flowers, a bouquet in her hands (which were crossed in prayer) crossed hands and flowers at her feet. I have pictures from my first May crowning first grade, patiently waiting in line and intently staring at the blossoms. In third grade, I had the privelege of crowning Mary after my name was pulled from the hat. Mom created a crown of daisies with ribbons drapping down the back.

When it was not May, the Madonna grotto would become our place to sit and part of our games.

We had a smaller Madonna grotto in front of our gym where we would gather prior and after athletic events and recite the Memorare. We attempted to crown her our junior year, but most forgot to bring flowers. I did supply a lily crown this time for our feeble effort.

So, the years again pass and they still crown Mary at my elementary school, but the eyes of the Marianites no longer witness these crownings. Unlike your experience, most of the Sisters who taught me were old. All but one are gone now. And the one who remains doesn't know if she's coming or going.

What a wonderful recollection!

Maybe I missed it before, but your experience getting radiation for ear infections-well, that was a bit of a bombshell for me as a regular reader.

I recently read a graphic novel called Stitches which was an autobiography of a guy named David Small. He grew up in Detroit in the high baby boom era and his father, who was a doctor, used radiation to "treat" his sinus condition. The memoir isn't exclusively about that, but that aspect of it was really rather disturbing and shocking to me.

Hearing that you went through a similar experience, it made me wonder: how commmon was this practice?

Small portrays radiation as these perversely faddish cure all--everyone was hitting up rads to cure minor ailments.

Anyways, that's not the main focus of your piece, but that really jumped out at me.

It sounds like you had a wonderful childhood. I've had some experience in recent years as a substitute teacher and it seems people have a near religious faith that more electronics will magically enhance their children's education. I've subbed in a charter school, grades 6-8, and those kids were incredibly tech saavy, and yet they also seemed impatient with the vagaries of human-to-human communication. They struck me as the first generation that will truly strive for (and maybe achieve) the posthuman surreality depicted in anime films such as Ghost in the Shell.

Or maybe I'm just outmoded.

Wonderful post!
Test run for a book of autobiographical essays/remembrances . . . ?

I loved this entry but the first sentance left me absolutely perplexed.

"My grade school couldn't get state approval today."

I assume it didn't have "state approval" in your time either. I mean it was a Catholic school correct? Not a public school approved by the state. What am I missing?

Ebert: Oh, anything like its physical plant and so on. Your point is taken.

I had a similar experience back in the Eighties during the ninth grade. A lot of kids had glasses back then, so no one was mocking anyone for having them. But we still liked to try other people's glasses just to see what it was like.

I was already having trouble with my eyesight at that time, but didn't realize how bad it was shifting until I tried someone's glasses and saw the light so to speak.

Originally, I didn't have any trouble with my eyes aside from an operation to correct an alignment problem at four years old. But as I grew into adolescence, the nearsightedness set in so slowly, I didn't even realize what was happening until that fateful day.

-3.0 diopters in both eyes for twenty-five years now. My NEW problem however is that pretty soon, I'll need bifocals.

No biggie though. I'm getting old. It's all perfectly normal. Already had two kidney stones (ouch!), and I'm now waiting for the arthritis to set in somewhere! :)

Roger, check out the Daughters Of Mary's website, go to the "Music" tab, and click on the fourth album from above. Track #3 is a one-minute clip of "Bring Flowers of the Rarest". I doubt there is a better rendition than the one these ladies offer there.

As an agnostic, it is only ironic that it should be another agnostic's memories that end up bringing me to a Catholic website and to these songs I hadn't heard in ages. I can't stop listening to these nuns sing, and I no longer care about the mess of tears and snot running down my stupid face - my wife and kids are sleeping anyway..., my macho cred is safe.

If I ever return to the flock (please God don't make me), I'm putting all my bets on music being involved in the process.
Music is one of the few things that can still move me to a different plane.

Thank you for remembering, Roger.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you.

Ebert: I followed your instructions, listen, and was charmed by the sincerety, purity and grace of the singing.

Mr. Ebert:

I enjoyed the reminiscing about your Catholic elementary education.

This takes nothing away from your story and would be considered by most people an irrelevant detail, but I believe that you are confusing the celebration of Mary during the the month of May with The Assumption which occurs on August 15th.

From Wikipedia:

"In the Roman Catholic tradition, May is observed as Mary's month, and in these circles May Day is usually a celebration of the Blessed Virgin Mary. In this connection, in works of art, school skits, and so forth, Mary's head will often be adorned with flowers in a May crowning."

"According to the belief of Christians of the Catholic Church, the Eastern Orthodox Churches, the Oriental Orthodox Churches, and the Anglican Communion, the Assumption of Mary was the bodily taking up of the Virgin Mary into Heaven at the end of her life. The Catholic Church teaches as dogma that Mary, "having completed the course of her earthly life, was assumed body and soul into heavenly glory."[1] This doctrine was dogmatically and infallibly defined by Pope Pius XII on November 1, 1950, in his Apostolic Constitution Munificentissimus Deus. This belief is known as the Dormition by the Orthodox. In the churches which observe it, the Assumption is a major festival, commonly celebrated on August 15. In many countries it is a Catholic Holy Day of Obligation."

The Ascension of Jesus occurs 40 days after Easter:

"Belief in the Ascension of Jesus is found in the Nicene Creed, and is affirmed by Christian liturgy and, in the West, by the Apostles' Creed. The Ascension implies Jesus' humanity being taken into heaven.[6] Ascension Day, celebrated 40 days after Easter, is one of chief feasts of the Christian year.[6] The feast dates back at least to the later 300s, as is widely attested.[6]"

I don't know if all of Wikipedia information is correct but the basic points are there.

oh yeah, i also remember that we had show and tell,and i brought a superman action figure, but i don't remember talking about it. this makes me remember that i had super hero action figures to play with in the tub. more things people cant live w/out knowing.

I always had a book in a textbook that I wasn't interested in reading, which basically meant all but the Literature and History (sometimes Science) textbooks. I do wish that I had been more attentive during my third grade penmanship classes, but, for some reason, Mrs. Thomas didn't seem to like me much...

I have four sisters, and we are all avid readers. We recently started a family book club as a way to maintain a bit of closeness, despite the fact that we are spread out from sea to shining (and, in the case of my eldest sister, oil-slicked) sea. I recently started reading a pretty remarkable book, "Whatever it Takes," by Paul Tough. The book documents the struggles of Geoffrey Canada, an educator who has launched a revolutionary community rescue program in Harlem. He started a program called the Harlem Children's Zone, which encompasses ninety-sevenb locks of some of the poorest neighborhoods in the country. The plan is to completely change the way that the poorest of the poor, usually minority, children are raised and educated, while still keeping the strong, almost familial, bond that can grow in such a unique community. Expecting parents are taught about the latest techniques in raising children to be ready to learn. Pre-kindergarten classes teach four year-olds vocabulary and language skills. A school, the Promise Academy, was started in 2004, taking in sixth grade and kindergarten students. On the first day of school, Canada promised every child that they would be ready for, and accepted to attend, college.

I'll let you know how it goes, unless you have read it. It is absolutely riveting.

Ahh, the old 'if Pagans are spared the torments of hell until such time as they learn of the Gospel and reject it, shouldn't missionary work be shut down so as to spare as many souls as possible?' argument. The many reactions to it never get old. Your old teacher's reaction was a bit of a dodge was better than some I've seen, though still not very convincing.

Missionaries should at least preface their work by saying to potential converts, 'Guys, I'm about to tell you about something, and it could be really good for you or really bad for you, depending on how convincing I am. If I never tell you at all you'll default to neutral and dodge both extremes. Still want to hear about it?'

Incidentally, Catholic doctrine on this matter is much more forgiving than many Protestant churches I've seen. Many are perfectly happy to believe people will be sent to hell for not believing in something they never even knew about. Guess it sucks to be a caveman.

Ebert: I am routinely informed I'm going straight to hell. Hardly ever by Catholics. The sacrament of Penance enshrines the possibilities of redemption and forgiveness.

I read your commentary and memories of my school days came flooding back. My most vivid was a sex education class in 7th grade. A nurse, probably someone's parent, and the principal taught the class. The class featured a totally incomprehensible film about bees and cows followed by a "discussion". After being totally confused the discussion was opened to questions. There was total silence until Tom Miller raise his hand and asked "Where were those two glands located?". Sister Gertrude's brow darkened and with laser like eyes thundered "They're your balls you fool". There was dead silence as Tom sank into his chair. A fond memory indeed.

"In general the Dominicans applied Catholicism toward liberal ends, such as support for equal rights, freedom of speech, separation of church and state, and the rights of workingmen."

Because Conservatives don't stand for these things?

Unbelievable....

Ebert: Conservatives certainly do. Not so much today's Republicans and TeePees. Equal rights? New Arizona law. Freedom of speech? "Ground Zero" quote unquote mosque. Separation of church and state? Creationism, return of school prayer. Rights of workingmen? How many Republicans do you know who are strong advocates of labor unions or higher minimum wages?

Point, set and match, I believe.

The piece was vivid and evocative. It even works for people like myself who have neither a Catholic background nor an American one. I'm very pleased to echo the congratulations of my fellow readers.

Just one thing, as the man in the dirty raincoat used to say. Ascension Day is the day that commemorates Christ's elevation, not that of his mother. Following her analogous change of address the Mother of God gets to put on her party dress on the Feast of the Assumption.

Take unreasonable care,
David

Ebert: I meant Assumption and wrote Ascension??? FAIL!

Good morning, Mr. Ebert:

According to your blog, your junior-high school did have a religion course. Was the course devoted specifically to Catholicism, or did it touch upon other denominations? I would imagine attending Sunday School (if you did so) would be redundant.

Analogously, several religiously-affiliated colleges, like Merrimack College in North Andover, Massachusetts, have mandatory religion courses regardless of one's major or concentration.

Of course, seemingly invariably, the movies have portrayed Catholic school as a grim, unremitting nightmare ("Heaven Help Us" is an obvious example). Are you aware of any movie that depicts Catholic school in a more flattering, or at least fairer and more balanced, light?

Ebert: Somebody help me out here.

Wow, you lucked out at St. Mary's in Champaign, IL. At St. Mary's in Buffalo Grove, IL, we had some nice nuns, but then we also had absolute trolls like Sister Frances Ann who, among other things, would toss our math workbooks on the floor in front of her desk for us to retrieve when she'd finished grading them.

Out of curiosity, at your school, were after-school detentions referred to as JUG's?

Ebert: "I was not gifted at sports, but was sought after as an entertainer."

I recommend to you the "Simpsons" episode (if haven't seen it already) detailing the conflict between aptly-named entertainer Krusty the Clown (real name Herschel Krustovsky, voiced by Dan Castellaneta) and his estranged rabbi father (voiced by Jackie Mason) who disapproved of his son's career choice and his refusal to emulate him. In real life, Mr. Mason also contemplated becoming a rabbi, but of course chose a radically different path.

I am aware this post is more appropriate for your "priest vocation" blog, but there you are.

I found your response to your classmate Mary interesting, that you thought you grew up at a fantastic time. In a lot of ways, I would have liked my experiences in the 1970's to have been similar, but growing up Catholic in Spokane was very difficult for me. My mother was a generation older than you, similarly aged like the sisters in your piece, and I am a generation younger. I attended school with classmates with much younger parents, but as importantly younger teachers who did not relate to the catechism taught. I had three sisters in eight years, two of whom were decent teachers. One aligned closely with the lay teachers at the school, who were influenced by the feminism movement at the time. The school became an angry place, with differing factions of teachers seeking control, adjusting to a new view of how to live and reacting to years of repressed feelings of being women, in general, and being Catholic. An upbringing like you had would have been a nice thing. It would have been so much better for my mom, who was the school secretary when I was there and so clearly saw the differences between the church as she came to believe in it and what was happening at my school, to be at a school like you had.

Some things did not change, though, from your generation to mine. Like you, I learned to diagram sentences, how to use gerund and prepositional phrases, among others, properly, and traditional, sequential math. Truth be told, that type of traditional instruction was very good and it saddens me to see that sentence diagrams, particularly, seem to be a lost art with kids I see today. We were not only losing our nuns in the 1970's, but traditional Catholic instruction as well. Text books were being made by the same large companies that offered public school instruction, and we were deferring more and more on instructing as the books indicated. And somewhere along the line, we lost the sense of creativity, the idea that we could put our own creative spin on the instruction to make the information in the textbooks more meaningful to the students. I think this has contributed to why many educators leave teaching early in their careers: they don't make enough anyway and lack the support of using their own creativity to make a lesson meaningful for their students. It is far easier to teach to a test with the idea that we are going to leave no child behind.

The sisters in your piece seemed content in their roles, providing the gifts they had as teachers as an offering to God. Somewhere along the line, perhaps because of the influence of feminism and, in general, that times were a changin', we lost a sense of being satisfied with what we have and our roles in this world. Certainly within the Catholic church I do not want to go back to the way things were, given all of the abuses not only to boys but to nuns. Case in point: I have a cousin that was a nun until the church decided she was not needed. She she was told to have a good life and was left to her own devices. I do not know who funded her lifestyle, but it was decided that her services were not needed, and she was downsized, for sake of a better term. She eventually married a former priest.

Most parents of my classmates sent students to our school because we had football, basketball, and baseball teams that developed talent at a young age. Very little was taught in the way of religion, and saying a prayer before school, praying especially before the football games, and going to church occasionally served as religious instruction.

I do not raise my kids as Catholics today. I cannot fathom raising my kids to believe things I know to be untrue within the Catholic faith, and about people who do not share that faith. Part of this is because my kids know too much about how the world works to be ignorant of it. For adults, I think ignorance is a very bad thing, it is a sad state of living leading to exploitation, but kids do not need to grow up so quickly. I can say that a simpler world view in my Catholic upbringing was not stressful, and a Catholic foundation did give me a foundation for my place in my world, but unfortunately as a young Catholic in the 1970's the innocence of that bliss had begun to be lost. My mom certainly took the faith seriously, but few others around me did.

Ebert: A nun who "was not needed?" I always imagined the welcoming Mother House at the end of their journey.

Roger: I just finished reading your St Mary's article for the third time. Wow. Talk about your words being meaningful...I mean, I was right there with you. All the names, places, and most of the memories were right on. Of course, I hav...e a girl's perspective and more than that...a protestant girl's. I came to St Marys in 2nd grade and joined Sister M. MacDonald's class...so I think she was teaching 1st and 2nd. I remember having eye surgery for my "crooked" eye and having all of you write letters to me in the hospital. I wish I had kept them. My memory is that we moved on to Sister Nathans's class for 3rd and 4th. I loved her. She was my idol. And in my memory she moved up with us to 5th an 6th grade. So we had her for 4 years. I couldn't have asked for any better teacher. Although I do remember her questioning me once about whether I would like to become a Catholic. I can't really remember what I answered but I do remember being quite frightened...just like I remember feeling when she called on you in class for an answer...stomach jerk and quickened pulse. And the recess stories...you are right...no play ground, but we certainly had fun and I do remember playing baseball with the boys and featuring myself quite a tomboy. I have vivid memories of an Christmas presentation with carols etc. I had a small speaking part and the character's name was Sarah, which since that was what I was going by then, was very special.
Of course there were many religious connection memories...sitting and waiting in church while all of you had holy communion and coffession...and most vivid...in 6th grade being told I could not crown Mary because I was a protestant! Of course, I left St Mary's for Urbana Junior High in 7th grade but those elementary years came back in technicolor through your words. I read all the facebook comments, and they had some interesting things to say...but I WAS THERE! Thanks for taking me back with you. I am sorry we didn't get to spend time together at the UHS reunion but this word journey back into the past has been wonderful. Thanks again from your old classmate, Sarah Hopson...alias Sally Walters!

Ebert: Sally, you were always the most positive person around. I can't think of you without thinking of you laughing. Of course you came from the Urbana equivalent of Kentucky's thoroughbred nobility. Your parents didn't have race horses, but they owned the Urbana Pure Milk Company, whose horse-drawn delivery wagons continued to circulate long after trucks had replaced horses. The horses knew their routes by heart. The drivers could be preparing the next order because they didn't have to keep an eye on the road. In my memory, your house, set way back from the road, was where all the horses lived (outside, of course). But I suppose their actual stables were elsewhere.

I can hardly believe how similar your experiences were to mine at first Little Flower School in Somerville, MA and later Gate of Heaven School in South Boston. Both now closed, btw, though Gatey was absorbed into the new South Boston Catholic Academy. One comment, though - are you sure the line in the hymn you quote isn't "the praise of the loveliest rose of the dale"? That's what I remember. It scans better, too. Then again, while we usually had printed lyric sheets we rarely had sheet music and few of us could read music anyway. The nuns sang the hymns first and we learned the melody by repetition. The musical talents of the nuns had the same degree of variety as in the general population so something may have been lost in translation.

I remember Tantum Ergo Sacramentum, too. I also liked Veni Creator Spiritus. Not so much the many songs supposedly written by Cardinal O'Connell though I can still sing "I'm a Soldier in Christ's Army", a staple of Confirmation ceremonies.

We were fortunate to have had this education. I will always remember the nuns who made me what I am.

Ebert: I googled those lyrics, but your remembered line sounds very familiar.

More contemporary religious joke:

The ten-year old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything to get him to do well in school, but nothing worked. Finally, they enrolled him in a Catholic school. From his first day the boy spent every night poring over books. When his first report card came, he had received an "A" in math.

"Son," his father asked, "what made the difference in math class? The nuns? The textbooks?"

"Dad, I had never taken math seriously before," the boy admitted. "But when I walked in and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew this place meant business!"

Mr. Ebert, my daughter sent me the link to this. I will thank her when I next speak to her. I thoroughly enjoyed every word. You wrote so well it was akin to stepping onto a magic carpet and being whisked back in time. I went to St. Patrick's grade school in Spangler Pennsylvania. It also was four rooms on the first floor of a two story building. The entire second floor was one open area where bingo, school events, etc., were held. Two grades to each room downstairs.
Our Nuns were:
1st & 2nd grades Sister Mary Theresa, she also ran the school Choir.
3rd & 4th grades Sister Mary Francis Borgia, she was our tomboy who led us in exercises everyday it was not raining or too cold. Snow did not stop her.
5th & 6th grades Sister Evangelista, she was also in charge of we who were altar boys and she also taught the after school classes for events such as confirmation, etc.
7th & 8th grades Mother Mary Marcellina, she was in charge and probably the kindest woman I ever met.
I started there in 1st grade in 1950 and spent all 8 years with them. I realized later in life what a wonderful educational foundation they had given to me. I owe them an awful lot. I remember them well and fondly. Thanks for helping me think about them in detail again.

At Most Blessed Sacrament in Philadelphia (circa 1966), we had to go to the music room to rehearse for the May procession. I remember Sister Fenton Marie teaching us some song with these words about Jesus: "From a noble womb to spring."

Whenever we would sing it, one of the boys would whisper loudly: "Boinggg!" We'd all crack up and Sister Fenton was furious. She made us all stand there until the end of the day because no one would admit to doing it.

Wish I had had the nuns you did! First through 4th grades, had wonderful nuns at St. Cecelia's in Iselin N.J. Starting in 5th grade, had the Sisters of Saint Joseph, Chestnut Hill in Roselle, NJ. They were horrendous, and made a jelly-like fearful mess of me and any others who weren't May Queen material. Those who were "May Queens" were always the ones whose mothers would drive the nuns everywhere they wanted to go. My mother didn't drive. There were as many as 70 kids in one classroom, and if someone needed to use the bathroom, the nuns would wait til the chair was wet and then humiliate a kid before sending him to get the stuff to "clean up the mess you made." Another fun-nun-game was to have two of the bigger boys hold a third "unruly" boy out the window of the second floor window by his feet. Then there was the desk toss, which involved the nun flipping the one piece chair-desk, kid and all, over on it's side. Weapon of choice was "Myrtle", a yardstick applied with a major league swing to any or all body parts with equal aplomb. Miscreant females (those who would turn and speak to a boy) were "bold as brass" "brazen hussies." Didn't meet another likeable nun until Mundelein College, better known by its Loyola moniker, "Mistake on the Lake." They were a different and decent breed (oops--order), and saved me from an eternity of crossing the street to avoid anyone in a habit.
BTW, did you ever wonder if the Viet Nam war was inevitable, as we didn't always buy enough "pagan babies?" Could be.

Roger, though our grade school memories are generations apart, there are so many similarities. I attended a Catholic school only from kindergarten through second grade, but that transition into a public school in third grade was a huge change. My third grade teacher was more mean and strict than any horror story I have ever heard about nuns. She would flip over our desks if they were untidy and regularly fell asleep while reading us Otis Spotford after recess. Around me, my classmates would plot ways to dispose of her and called her bad names while she snored. I didn't know who to pray for, or if it was allowed in this place where the mundane classroom time wasn't broken on Wednesdays for Mass.

I also realized I was nearly a grade ahead of my new classmates. Many of our spelling words I remembered from first grade and they were just now learning cursive handwriting. I remember the look of arrogant disgust when I asked my teacher if I could learn something else since I already knew my handwriting. Can you blame a kid for wanting to do something new?

Sure, at my Catholic school we didn't have a big library, air conditioning or a gym and our playground was just a parking lot, but we actually learned. We were never stifled and told to relearn our previous lessons. Teachers worked one-on-one and didn't hold you back if others in the class weren't ready. I considered myself lucky to be one of the few of my peers to have been taught by a nun.

Mr. Ebert, if you or anyone else cannot locate a movie that depicts "Catholic school" fairly, then I would like to propose the following contribution to your Movie Glossary:

"Catholic Hell" Rule: The movies always portray Catholic school as a grim, unremitting hell, with sadistic nuns and priests and outlandish punishments for even the most minor infractions. Example: "Heaven Help Us"

I attended Catholic school from kindergarten all the way through high school, and I find it so interesting to note the similarities between your experiences and my own, because on the surface they could not have been more different. I graduated in 2006.

Academically, I don't think I was any better off than my public-school counterparts. In some ways I may have even fared worse in that respect. However, I seem to be alone among my peers in that I refuse to trash my Catholic-school education. My teachers (all laypeople until high school, by the way, and very few nuns then) took the time to encourage my interests, and did everything they could to keep me learning. When I had trouble at home or with my peers, they stayed after school to give me a safe space to talk or even just hang out. Their dedication went beyond academics, and it's the reason why today I'm both a good student and a relatively well-adjusted person.

Sadly, my local diocese doesn't seem to share my views on the importance of Catholic schools, as the number of schools here has plummeted over the last five years or so. My elementary school no longer exists, except as a building being rented out to a public school whose facilities burned down. The diocese at first tried to close the school with absolutely no warning; it was in the paper before they even sent letters home. The families rallied and got a two-year reprieve, but ultimately it came too late to make a difference. The school shut its doors with a final graduating class of two.

I didn't go to a Catholitc school, but instead to a public school here in Salt Lake. The public school had to fit our education into a schedule crowded with pep rallies, football and basketball games, dances and assemblies.

After graduation I went to a small liberal arts college. A number of my classmates had come from a Catholic school here. They were between two and three years ahead of the rest of us in just basic acedemic knowledge. I asked one of them one time about that and she said answered "We went to school to go to school, that is what we did."

Ah, yes, but they didn't have a football or basketball team.

Alumnus of St. Mary, Sacred Heart, St. Johns and Holy Name, here. But I gottatellya, my reminiscences aren't as rosy as yours. Of course, I was a post-Vatican II kid, different world from the 50s. I enjoyed at least a couple of incidents of corporal punishment, though admittedly only one was a nun. And I was both a handful AND a girl, a total no-no in parochial school; a handful boy is to be expected, a mouthy girl is a test sent by Satan.

I do agree about the stress-the-basics education, but I wouldn't say that my education was better than the public school. The public schools had amenities I would have loved to have. However to this day I am a strong writer and reader, and indeed derived my career from it. I'm constantly AMAZED at how badly most people spell, especially the younger generation. How do you get through grade school without being able to spell??

The JMJ made me smile, I remember that well! And the no-frills playground/parking lot/empty field made me nod, yep, we made our own games. Music class consisting of recordings of classical music that we banged along with on our triangles, that's so true! HA!

My mother attended Catholic school in South America in the 50s and has only the fondest memories, can recall every teacher's name. She's always been puzzled and saddened by the negative experiences my sister and I both recall. Maybe it was the 70s?

I'm curious, Roger. Judging by your experience, how do you feel about school vouchers? You ask any poor parent and most will tell you they would kill for the opportunity to help their children. I pay property taxes through the nose here in the State of California for education and don't even send my kids to public schools because they are so bad. That's not accounting for the bonds the State takes out, which will be paid for by my kids if we don't go default which we most certainly will, and the mandate that 50% of the State budget get funneled into this monstrosity. We have the highest State taxes in the nation. California pays about $8,000 to $10,000 per pupil and, needless to say, most can't do remedial algebra in college or write a grammatically correct sentence. The worst school district in America, D.C., pays out close to 13,000 per pupil I believe.

And yet the little neighborhood parochial school that my kids go to operates on a far leaner budget, costs less, and my kids are blessed with a great education. Why is that? Are they evil because they don't answer to teacher's unions? Or am I just another one of those idiotic "Tee Pees" who should keep my mouth shut and not question the system?

As a white Baptist in New York City (most big NY Baptist churches are black and highly segregated), I began attending St. Bartholomew's R.C. School in first grade, 1977.

I can still remember my uniform, Father John, Sister Maria, the penguin jokes (I laughed though I didn't really understand til later), and even attending CYO camps in the summer.

My Catholic education ended because of a school teacher with a Seinfeldian "low talker"-issue (my parents sat across her desk and didn't understand the woman, and sent me to public school the next morning).

But the friends I made there I'd cross paths with in Cub/Boy Scouts through our youth and teens, and as I moved to Texas and discovered Southern Baptist theology (the churches are still segregated, there is black outreach to attend white churche, though the opposite is rare) I was never once able to tolerate the anti-Catholic rhetoric of ignorant non-Catholics (Baptists, Methodists, and Atheists alike).

As a conservative, William F. Buckley is probably the most respected modern thinker and an extremely devout Catholic. It was because of his book "Nearer, My God" that I seriously considered conversion (that, my love for JPII and the appointment of Benedict XVI).

The Catholic church achieves their "liberal" goals through the most conservative means: private charity, religious no less.

All of that is to say that the collapse of Catholic education in our country is a serious blow to the intellectual culture that acts as a counter balance to the Education Establishment. In other words, in a city like New York, where Catholic schools represent 10% of the enrollment of public schools, but have 1% of the costs and produce greater than 100% of the results, there are lessons; and these lessons are lost as nuns and priests no longer teach, as the ministry of education is treated by the schools as a profession; and the ministry of the church is managed as a business, with schools shutting down in the areas with the greatest need.

I saw the value, the incredible value, through the eyes of a Baptist kid in a Catholic city. I would hope that our nation would rally around the churches and if they ARE going to put their kids in a private school, give the catholic schools a good hard look.

Sure, the teachers are a bunch of lefties, but what do you expect, they're school teachers on a religious mission working for a charitable institution. Were you expecting Supply Siders?

And the education can be top notch.

I learned the Lord's Prayer along with the Pledge of Allegiance in public school before it became verboten to teach the former there. The teacher also read Bible stories to us. Had I to depend solely on the volunteer idiots at my Baptist Sunday school I still wouldn't know it. No wonder they're the ones who scream the loudest for prayer in school. They want to leave everything to teachers. I believe it was our principal who insisted on that degree of indoctrination. I remember during the Surf Rock era when those super cool Rat Fink decals came out, the ones that show strange creatures in souped-up hot rods with the gear shifts out to there, our principal went from classroom to classroom to declare such sacrilege off limits. They were as bad as those "Famous Monsters of Filmland" magazines. He slowly explained to us that such merchandise was distributed by A-THE-ISTS. "People who don't believe in God," he emphasized in his laborious drawl. I'm sure he was a good man in his fashion, but he always reminded me of those deep-South sheriffs who were never convicted by local juries.

In the seventies, a Jesus-freak friend of mine explained to me that being a pagan was no excuse. "What about isolated natives in the Amazonian jungles, or insular pygmies in the Congo?" Too bad, my born-again friend said, admittedly heavy of heart. "What if the missionary is a poor salesman and fails to make a compelling or convincing pitch?" Too bad. They had their chance at redemption.

I've been surrounded by believers all my life, but I've never been able to sign on. I thought the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy were ridiculous concepts. I allowed myself to believe in Santa for a few years, but when that delusion fell apart the world forever lost its magic. Well ... except maybe for The Beatles.

Reply to: I received a first-rate education. At St. Mary's Grade School in Champaign, . And we looped away at the Palmer Handwriting Method, neatly writing (Jesus Mary Joseph) at the top of every page,... attended St. Mary's for an excellent reason: I would get into heaven. I liked my public school friends, but they were non-Catholics and couldn't look forward to that. It was their misfortune they weren't pagans; pagans at least could spent eternity in Limbo

The first time a friend brought me an email, saying a widow in Africa wanted to leave him $50 million.... I told him,

"If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is."

How do you recognize a scam?

If you surround it with enough good stuff, like penmanship and theological loopholes, can you sell the scam so no one ever questions you?

Two topics I wanted to mention:

(1) The cover of TIME (August 9) when a young girl and her sister were given to a family as a 'blood debt," as compensation because her father had killed a member of their family. check it out.

(2) Roger, I don't know if you're working on a book, or a screenplay, but reviewers always look for a standout chapter to use in reviews. A chapter about filmmaker Theo Van Gogh might get you onto the best seller lists.

In response to the request for a movie that "depicts Catholic school in a more flattering, or at least fairer and more balanced, light?"

How about "Doubt"? Or an older one, "The Bells of St. Mary's"?

Retrospectively, childhood seems dull compared to later years and both pale compared to the present. I have no natural inclination to rummage memories, because that would be at the expense of the present, which is the summation of the past and the seed of the future, including death and...being alive is the most mysterious of things.

Re: "...are you aware of any movie that depicts Catholic school in a more flattering, or at least fairer... light?

(if I may help you, 'help me':)

(1945) The Bells of Saint Marys

**starring real stars**
Bing Crosby: Father O'Malley
Ingrid Bergman: Sister Benedict

..and you went to St Marys for eight years??
--in addition to hearing your dear Mother praying to Hail Mary on her last days on earth!!

--Dude,you better go dig up your dusty 'ol scapular.

I laughed out loud when I read "the entire Stephen Foster Songbook". I went to public school in the early 60's but we too sang patriotic songs and the entire Stephen Forster Songbook. I wonder what it was about the music of Foster that made it so popular with music teachers in the 50's & 60's.

Have subscribed to your essays, journals and tweets. You have had much about the proposed Muslim mosque in NYC. This article may interest you,
http://www.ranyontheroyals.com/2010/07/abd-el-kader-and-massacre-of-damascus.html

The article is from "Rany on the Royals" blog

Hi Roger,
Reading this was a hoot! Your grade school years were exactly like mine, down to the pagan babies (which we got to name) and the Stephen Foster repertoire, although my school lacked both a cafeteria and gym. We ate sandwiches from home at our desks, and no athletic equipment from home was allowed, except jump-ropes for the girls. One school-owned basketball was allowed for the boys. Playing king of the mountain (boys and girls separately) on the piles of ice and snow that had been plowed to the edges of the church parking lot was our winter recess activity.

The role model equivalent to Blessed Dominic for the girls was St. Maria Goretti, "the teenage saint." We were required to read her biography, which came in a pink-jacketed edition with gold-stamped lettering--all very sweet and girly until we read that the saintly Maria was raped (that part was left kind of vague) and stabbed to death by her boyfriend (who, due to her holy intervention, repented and became a priest after he got out of prison). There was an index with an exact listing of her enormous number of stab wounds, including the length and depth of each one.

Keep it up, Roger. Your journals are so entertaining!

Best,
Barbara

Ebert: Conservatives certainly do. Not so much today's Republicans and TeePees. Equal rights? New Arizona law. Freedom of speech? "Ground Zero" quote unquote mosque. Separation of church and state? Creationism, return of school prayer. Rights of workingmen? How many Republicans do you know who are strong advocates of labor unions or higher minimum wages?

Point, set and match, I believe.

Roger, your Wikipedia article contains the following:

Regarding his belief system, he doesn't "want to provide a category for people to apply to me" because he "would not want my convictions reduced to a word"...

Assuming that the quote is accurate, could you grant "conservatives" (whatever that means) the same courtesy? I realize there are a lot of people zinging you over politics on twitter, etc., but I personally ascribe their behavior to being internet-flame freaks more than anything else. (There, I reduced their convictions to three words.)

I now have "O Mary We Crown Thee" stuck in my head, and that is not a bad thing! I miss the pageantry, the flowers, and the wonderful music - it always seemed to me as though all the hymns we sang at the crowning and the associated Mass were the most joyful of the entire year.

Mr. Panagopoulos asked about films that portrayed Catholic schools sympathetically. Prior to the late 1960s, when portrayed at all, the portrayal of Catholic schools was invariably sympathetic in Hollywood films. An obvious example is "Bells of St. Mary." "The Trouble With Angels," in the mid 1960s, and "Where Angels Go, Trouble Follows" a couple of years later are other examples. These films portrayed priests and nuns as wise, caring, intelligent, and somewhere in the neighborhood of infallible.

More recently, but not from Hollywood, "Au Revoir Les Enfants" is another example of putting a Catholic education in a favorable light.

Roger,

I love the photo of all the children charging at the camera. Really captures how urgent and agile childhood feels. Just saying.

Aidan

You're lucky to have gotten a decent education.

Look at these pathetic, corrupt, liberal run public schools, where kids "graduate" without learning how to read or write. Kids today are being indoctrinated with leftist mush. They are being taught to hate America. They are force fed nonsense like "man-made" global warming, Darwinism, and multiculturalism. They are told to idolize reprobates, like that coldblooded killer, Che. They are told that family's don't need a mother and father; two mothers or two fathers is acceptable!

It's a shame this generation of kids are being inculcated by a bunch of nutjobs.

You've seen all those videos of little skulls full of mush lined up to sing praise to our Dear Leader???

Welcome to Obamaville.

Ebert: Are you under the impression you thought all this up by yourself? Or did you hear it repeated over and over somewhere?

Off the top of my head, as far as positive portrayals of Catholic school go, there's always the "Sister Act" movies... for better or worse!

Mr. Ebert,

I wanted to say thank you for this. I came a little late to the Catholic educational tradition, only finding it through choosing to enter a small college in Montana after my stint in the military. At one time the college was predominantly taught by preists, but over time the number of priests teaching here has gradually declined.

However I was lucky enough to have the experience of being taught by three of the "old breed," and have been consistantly impressed by the rigor, eruditition, and high level of intellectual argument provided by the priests who still teach. One in particular who I was lucky enough to catch before his retirement my sophmore year, Fr. Sullivan, is quite possibly the smartest man I have ever met in my life. Educated by the Christian Brothers and at the Gregorian in Rome before Vatican II when everything was still in Latin the man possessed more knowledge in his head than most people could find on Wikipedia. Truly, the priests and nuns who devoted their lives to education are part of a vanishing world, and in some ways we are much poorer for it.

However, I did want to ask about the following quote:

We never discussed politics in class, but I came away with the firm impression that Franklin Roosevelt was our greatest President after Lincoln. In general the Dominicans applied Catholicism toward liberal ends, such as support for equal rights, freedom of speech, separation of church and state, and the rights of workingmen.

You say you never discussed politics in class, but was what is now called "Catholic social teaching" made a part of your religion class?

There is a fine old Catholic tradition dating, at the very least, from Pope Leo XII and his encyclical Rerum Novarum on the relations and rights of workers. However, in some respects, one may trace this all the way back to Amos and the ancient Hebrew prophets, through the Sermon on the Mount, to figures like St. Vincent De Paul or St. Francis and down to the modern day with such incarnations as Liberation Theology. Did this long Catholic tradition of caring for the destitute and the oppressed have a marked impact upon your political views?

I think we may be making a mistake in focusing on the schools themselves. It seems intuitively obvious to do so, but ultimately I think it's the parents who control how good the education is. If kids walk into school with the attitude that it's not that important to do well, then they won't do well. Teachers who expect them to do well will eventually be forced to lower their standards.

The school that Mr. Ebert attended as a child may have been a fine school, or it may have been substandard by today's expectations, but I think the real key ingredient is that the parents back then had very little tolerance for children performing poorly in school. When I grew up, a bad report card meant that I got what the southerners would call "a good whuppin'" from Dad. Today, it means that Dad will go to the school and demand an explanation. In that kind of social environment, how can ANY school do well, no matter how it is structured?

Since when is "freedom of speech" mutually exclusive to liberalism?

The greatest threat to the freedom of speech is political correctness.
e
How is a "protestant takeover" (whatever that means) a threat to the separation of church and state?? If evolutionism is going to taught in school, so should Creationism. Why should my tax dollars pay for a curriculum that teaches evolution, which is a BELIEF, since no one has ever witnessed evolution? Or even the "big bang theory"? To believe something came from nothing, like the "big bang", is takes a bigger leap of faith than believing in a Creator.

Ebert: The process of evolution has been witnessed and documented by science. This is a fact. Look it up for yourself. It has stood up to 150 years of challenges.

Few scientists believe the Big Bang came from nothing. Where do you believe the Creator came from?

I'm a bit shocked by something you said. I want to say it's because I live in England, but to be honest that seems a bit big-headed to me. On top of that, the school I spent the most time in (five years) was nothing but terrible. Lazy teachers, large classes and lots of violence.

However, I just can't accept the comment "I knew some of them would never be able to write". Surely you're joking? I can't concieve of someone so lost that not only can they not write, but they would NEVER be able to write.

In reply to John Panagopoulos's question about movies that depict Catholic school in a positive or fair light, I would recommend the following:

"The Bells of Saint Mary's": I actually don't particularly like this one, but from what I hear from my grandmother, who went to a catholic school in the 1930s and 40s, it's fairly accurate.

"Millions": A pretty great movie, I think. Catholicism is heavily featured in the movie in an irreverent way. But not in a BAD irreverent way. I can't explain it. You'll know what I mean when you see it.

"Au revoir les enfants": One of my absolute favorites. It presents, in my opinion, a fair depiction of catholic school.

And just to comment on Ebert's rather brilliant journal entry, I'm SO glad you can disagree with what you were taught and yet not feel the need to trash anyone and anything involved in that school. I'm 19 years old, two years out of a Catholic school that I attended from, 6th through 12th grades. At the time, because I (secretly) disagreed with some of the ideas foisted on us, I hated the entire school and counted the days until I graduated. Now I am more then willing to admit the strengths the school possessed. I feel that I was given a much better education then public school kids were, especially in the subjects of Literature, Art, and History. I can honestly say that my advanced literature classes in College are far easier then even my 9th or 10th grade classes. However, it seems like you were blessed with more liberal-minded teachers then I had, even though I assume you went to Catholic school prior to Vatican II. My school was one run by the Society of Saint Pius X. You may have heard about this society in the news sometime in the last year or two. The bishops in charge of it where recently un-excommunicated and shortly after, one of them, Bishop Richard Williamson (who administered the sacrament of Confirmation to me and who was the parish Priest when my Parents first started attending traditional Mass. This Society still only allows the Old Mass (the one said pre-Vatican II, in Latin). Anyway, to get back to the point, at my school, things like separation between church and state (which the school administrators believed was fully in place) was a terribly thing, the almost everyone goes to hell (I recall a sermon where the priest told his parish that out of the vast number of people who die every day, only one or two get to heaven. How he was privy this information was never revealed. One of my teachers at school was a holocaust denier (and to my disgust, most of my classmates seemed to agree with him). My brother told me that last year, one of his classmates was expelled for having a picture of Michael Jackson in his locker. A group of rather nice high-school girls accused one of the priests of touching them inappropriately (when they went over and their skirt rode down or their shirt rode up, he would allegedly swipe his finger across their bare skin as a "warning" that they were out-of-uniform. Instead of supporting or at least looking into the situation, almost all parents/students/teachers turned on the girls. There are so many examples of things like this happening at our school. I think it's the odd cases like my school that help to give "catholic school" a bad connotation. In realty, most of them today are probably far more ecumenical and "normal" then yours was years ago.

I,to, went to St. Mary's Catholic School in Champaign - a fews years behind you. I have the best memories from my grade school years and you really reminded me of even more and I thank you for that. Who would have known that the drilling of math facts, diagramming and strict discipline would have been what I feel gave me a solid foundation. Great column. I am looking so forward to our first all school reunion in October - hope you can make it. Blue and White fight, fight....

Of course, seemingly invariably, the movies have portrayed Catholic school as a grim, unremitting nightmare ("Heaven Help Us" is an obvious example). Are you aware of any movie that depicts Catholic school in a more flattering, or at least fairer and more balanced, light?

Ebert: Somebody help me out here.

Well, I admit that I haven't actually seen it, but M. Night Shymalan's Wide Awake seems like it fits. Check out your review, Rog.

Greetings to thee, Roger.

I just watched Ondskan. You haven't written a review about it but I'm sure that you'd seen the film considering that it was a contender for an Oscar, or at least you'd read the famous novel. Anyway, this "article" is not impertinent for that film.
When I was growing up - and still growing, I guess - I had this utopian idea about Sweden and how it's pure in terms of human rights and politics, but then I read Ibsen. He introduced me to something conspicuous, if not hidden, in human nature. And now seeing myself as a voracious sophomore, I was ready for Ondskan. I rated the film B+ on Yahoo Movies.

Now reading this, I feel compelled to feel some poke of Chance. My academic life is standing helpless in a demonic pandemonium and with these art works, again, I must say that this article made me more helpless, insignificant and even senseless ( This is a compliment )

In a way, your articles about your childhood, faith, studies, connexions, and mostly, films, affect me the most. They made me whisper "Auf Wiedersehen" to you with a Mona Lisa smile on Hamlet's face.
Now, I want you to think about this. If Haulden Caulfield were in your place in that school, would he be "like you" now???

Auf Wiedersehen.

From John Panagopoulos:
Are you aware of any movie that depicts Catholic school in a more flattering, or at least fairer and more balanced, light?

M. Night Shyamalan's "Wide Awake" comes immediately to mind. Roger didn't like the movie (and his reasons were indeed valid), but I have a soft spot for it. If nothing else, it is a warm, fair depiction of Catholic school.

Roger,

I enjoyed your musings, but the feast of the Assumption is Aug. 15, not May 1. The whole month of May was sacred to Mary, and in our school we took turns bringing circlets of flowers to crown a small statue in the classroom.

We contributed a nickel to save the pagan babies in the forties--inflation raised the price by your day.
Actually, I think it took $5 to "buy" a baby, but we raised it a nickel at a time. I seem to remember a picture of a tree with circles on the branches to receive the nickels.

Is this the song and sheet music you're looking for?

http://www.catholictradition.org/Mary/rarest.htm

"Sir, would you like to buy a subscription?" I would have asked such a question like that if I had been there, ha-ha. It's strange that nobody found it funny in your case.

I attended the middle school quite different from yours. We always studied under the strict rules for the enrollment in better high school and better university. I'm not sure whether they demanded the creativity; it was always question-and-answer. We had to memorize lots of things, we had to do the homeworks the teachers assigned to us, and we always had to give correct answers. If we could not, unpleasant things happened to us. I painfully remember seeing my colleagues get whipped due to their poor test scores. Oh, and if I had asked such a question like yours in my school, I would have gotten slapped in my face just like any other incidents. And probably whipping would have followed and my parents would have thought I deserved it.

It seemed harsh, but I had a pretty good school life overall. The teachers were sometime brutal(Roger, have you ever been whipped at the bottom of your feet more than 50 times?) but they were essentially decent educators in the standard of that time. They knew and understood my oddity, although it was largely due to my exemplary test scores. I can't deny that they helped me to get to the next step.

My memories about them are still mixed with respect and repulsion, but I still visited them. I came to understand what happened were not entirely their faults. But I still hate some old teacher. I remember her too painfully. She was a art teacher, and, on the first day, she slapped me hard. As an artist, she was uncompromising; as a teacher, she was fearfully uncompromising. I heard that she even ripped off the painting of the student in front of him simply because she didn't approve of the picture. The students hated her, and the teachers didn't like her much(We can make "Notes on a Scandal" remake with her, but she was married). And somehow she has continued the reign of fear even at this moment. Anyway, I like her paintings shown at the exhibitions. Ah, artists, they're not easy to get along with.

Like any other entries about your past, it was fun to read. Thank you for sharing another warm piece of your past with us, Roger.

I was flattered that you took an interest in my cousin's story, the nun who was not needed. Here are a couple of thought why I think it happened to her. Yes, there were still nuns in Spokane at the time. I believe it was the Diocese that decided the living quarters of the nuns were an expense that no longer could be sustained. Combined with that her ministry was to serve at-risk families, it was felt that this ministry could be addressed by priests, other lay people, and psychologists that were connected to the diocese itself. Sadly, some of the more outrageous abuses of young boys that occurred in Spokane were perpetrated by personnel that played a role similar to my cousin, and yet she was downsized.

To me, sadder still is the notion that a diocese would consider removing nuns from their homes to cut costs, when they never would consider such a move for their own priests. The parishes in Spokane are the same number as existed as long as I can remember -- 35 years at least. The Catholic school I attended shut down in 2008, but the parish rectory is still operating. I do believe that in Catholic theology there is no sacrament associated with being a nun, whereas Holy Orders are granted to Catholic priests. I only can suspect that if nuns were given the same level of recognition, Holy Orders, a recognized sacrament, the closing of a convent that impacted my cousin's life would not have happened.

O Roger how lovely you all look at the picnic, the earth truly 'apparelled in celestial light'. I think that all our experiences of happiness and care and love wrap round us forever and protect us through the inevitable losses and despair that will come sometime. I followed my brother to a tiny school, Chelmsford, run by Miss Chamberlain and Miss Pemberton in a church hall in Musgrave Road, Durban. I remember chanting our 'bonds' which were the times tables, sitting all of us crosslegged on the floor, and reading from Beacon readers. I think I got religion light throughout my schoolyears in the state system in South Africa, in four different schools in two cities, as our compulsory religion was ecumenical, narrative and pictorial. I first hit Catholic Education when placed in St Joseph's Pitman St London SE1 as a 20 year old graduate, entering Britain with a teacher's work permit. I found the catechism bewildering, and got taken off RI when an older teacher found me drawing maps of Israel complete with palm trees and shaded Mediterranean Sea, and talking to my 10 year olds about the Arab-Israeli War.

Roger I am the little girl pictured with Sr. Nathan and Sally Hopson. I enjoyed your column about your years at St. Mary's. Would love to have you come to the All School reunion in October. We have people coming form all over the U.S.--over 200. I remember your Mother. She always helped us with the "processions" at St. Patricks's Church.

Ebert: Hi Liz! Or Lizzie, as he used to say! Yup, I remember those processions, led by the priest holding the crucifix.

Our Lady of the Rosary School, 1949-1957; West Phila Catholic Girls' HS, 1957-61; Rosemont College, 1 year. So familiar are the above-memories. Thanks you for the walk down memory lane. AND, I received an incredible, mind-opening education.
P.S.-Miss your TV movie reviews.

That's a tough call, when and whether to capitalize "God." Proper English says capitalize it, unless referring to a pagan god or "the gods" in general. But at all time?

Come to think, do we write it "For pete's sake," or "For Pete's sake"? I s'pose the saying refers to St. Peter, but at this point in history it's just my guess. I s'pose at one time the saying had some real cleverness to it, but now it's pretty much just a sound. Like "god dammit."

I think we don't mean it as in "taking the Lord's name in vain," and so I don't capitalize the "g" for it, in its various vernacular spellings. But if one really does mean it, I expect the "G" needs capitalized.

At that point the rules of protocol need observed by atheist or believer alike, where literacy is observed with due respect.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Oh. Yeh. I stole my weekly $2 contribution to the church to save up for my first guitar. Yes, rock'n'roll IS of the devil. And anyway people enjoyed my gee-tar sermons a lot better than they did church.

I attended public school Head Start through 12th grade. The neighborhood I grew up in had two elementary schools. I attended the one across the street from my house. A number of teachers and staff lived in the same sub-division or very close by. Some of their children attended the school. I think they had a vested interest in our education because they wanted us (their neighbors) to be enlightened, upstanding citizens. The school did have a real gym, that was also the lunchroom (until the addition was built), assembly hall, and polling station for political elections.

Thank you for the bus ride down memory lane. I remember all of the following which I am sure will ring a few bells; Radar Nun (could see out of the back of her head while at the blackboard), "I found this in the cloak room this morning. Miss Darcy, see me after class," or "Sister Says" what parents named the nuns who sent home advice daily, "Sister Says we need to collect money for the missions", the threat,"Or do I need to send you to Father Emerling's Office?" ...and my favorite, showing the class painted pictures of Hell as a warning to behave...and a classmate commenting, "I wonder how she got the pictures?"

It occurs to me, your life would make an excellent movie! This must be done. Who should direct? And who will play you?

Hi Roger. Your comments took me back to my St. John Bosco grade school days in San Antonio, Texas! The nuns were all Salesian, which I'm sure you know were the order started by St. John Bosco, honoring his favorite saint, St. Francis de Sales.

It was so cool to hear you talk about Blessed Dominic Savio, of course, who is now a saint. He was MY 2nd favorite saint, behind of course, St. John Bosco. The more I read on your blog, the more I could smell the fish sticks and beans we would have on Fridays, and all the great times we had there.

You are correct that we did receive a very good quality education, and I still can recall a few latin words learned from being a good catholic altar boy, of course.

Thanks so much for your great work and for bringing back to some very great times!

God Bless you, Mr. Ebert!

Hope to see you and talk to you in Heaven. We'll have a good conversation comparing our nuns, I'm sure. Yours truly, Robert

Your timing is impeccable! Just yesterday I was discussing with a friend how much I appreciated my twelve years of Catholic school education.

I've always thought that nuns have gotten a pretty bad rap. Not that many of them didn't deserve the ridicule or derision that seems to always accompany the word nun, for surely, there were plenty of them that we mocked as kids, but there were many, too — perhaps thanks to Vatican II — who seemed more personable and approachable; who had a more inspiring effect on me.

I grew up a block away from my Irish Catholic church/school, so as an adult, while visiting my mother (who has since moved), I would often have to drive by the school on my way to her house. So, it was during one of these visits home that a wave of nostalgia washed over me as I passed the old school. It occurred to me that — as a guitar-playing songwriter, of sorts — I owed a debt of gratitude to Sister Thomas Ann (OSU) who played guitar at the "guitar masses" that were all the rage during the mid- to late-'60s. (OK... maybe not quite the rage, but you get my drift.) I sincerely believe that she was the first inspiration to learn to play guitar, and so, then, the inspiration for this song:

Sisters Of St. Ursula (Black and White)
Copyright 2010 by Patrick T. Power

The playgrounds are all empty, the bells no longer ring
Crucifixes still hang on the wall
In this dust and darkness, no chancel choirs sing
And footsteps are but echoes in the hall
It seems not very long ago, we heard these floorboards creak
And watched the clock with recess on our minds
With the radiators clanging, I would clear my throat to speak
From the front row where my seat had been assigned
With one hand on the ruler, the other on the rosary
They tried somehow to bring us to the light
In English, Math and Science, these sisters in theology
Taught us all they knew in black and white

Pledging my allegiance to a flag upon the wall
I stood so straight — my hand held to my chest
And being seated quietly, I dared to know it all
And stubbornly I opened up my desk
From the dim light of the morning to the glare of afternoon
A shadow paced before that wall of slate
And in our seats we squirmed and knew the bell came none-too-soon
But — pregnant with elation — we would wait
Teaching us Geography and how to wear a scapular
They told us angels watched us through the night
We walked a daily tightrope for the Sisters of St. Ursula
Who taught us all they knew in black and white

Now I am much older and half my life is gone
And measured in the bridges I have burned
With one eye on the setting sun, the other on the dawn
I look to understand what I have learned
Would I be the man I am without this holy past?
And did I really learn what’s right from wrong?
Am I just beholden to a die that has been cast —
A drumming slave to someone else’s song?
Teaching us the difference between an isthmus and a peninsula
They stood firm until we got it right
We lived in the shadows of the Sisters of St. Ursula
Who taught us all we knew in black and white

Still living in the shadows of the Sisters of St. Ursula...

I'm jealous. What a romantic school experience. My only exposure with Catholic school was with "virtual nuns" in ninth grade. My family moved to North Carolina from Canada, but my parents didn't want me to leave the Canadian school system. So I was logged on to one of the first "cyber schools" in '97. The way I learned about my Saints was through a blog style teaching method. No one could talk on the phone when I was doing my work since it was the days of dial-up and I had an online girlfriend so I never wanted to leave (log off) school. I even remember arguing with my mom about the phys ed requirement saying I could just lie and tell them I completed the hours, but I lost and ended up running laps in my backyard. Once again I am envious of this post, which seems to have been a much more organic experience than mine.

How about L'Enfant for a film with a good catholic school.

The movies may actually not depict catholic school so badly, considering the way serious movies depict school in general.

Do you s'pose Tom Dark's grammar advice can be dees-counted?

Thanks for reminding me of the lyrics to "Queen of the May." I liked the melody, but now realize why I'd forgotten all but the last line. Never could get a lump in my throat about St. Mary; even tried to. What d'you suppose the archetype of an Eternal Virgin Mother has done to a whole civilization? It didn't work too well toward birth control, I see that much.

Yeah yeah yeah, all that comes from Ancient Egyptian lore. We had an Isis and a Marduk and a Hera and so forth before we had a Mary. Even the blue robes.

Okay, I'll work on a movie about you. EBERT: THE MOVIE...? Nahhh... How about I DON'T HATE, HATE, HATE THIS MOVIE: THE LIFE AND LETTERS OF ROGER J. "DOMINIC" EBERT. Too long? Too highbrow?

Justin Bieber will probably be able to play you as a 5th grader for the next 10 years or so... who tweeted yesterday "but when I got to the chapter where Justin speculates about what pubic hair will feel like, I was fascinated"?

Am already trying to write myself in and don't otherwise have a plot. But with this mustache and if I find an old-timey hat, I could be the Oooooooold Ranger narrating the thing. I did practice a Western-sounding voice for a couple years, but the cartoon so far hasn't happened.

We'd just have to figure out why an Ooooooold Ranger would be narrating a movie about the life of Roger Ebert. Maybe Spielberg could figure that out.

I KNOW! At the end of the movie, there's a big chase scene, see, where you have to get to that Big Hole in Arizona before noon! The Army guys shooting at you and... okay, Angelina Jolie plays Chaz ... rockets blasting left and right! Then the big round mothership comes down, playing this really sweet, but huge, music. Maybe a synthesizer version of "Queen of the May," without those syrupy lyrics.

Then I turn to the camera, put down my stick and whittlin' knife and say "They say Rodge will be back one day. But I think if he does come back, it won't be for a loooong, loooong time. Unless there's a sequel. (HHhhhHHHHK! Pa-TOOEY! Dinnng! Wipe.) Roll credits.

Woops. Kitty just now disgorged a big piece of undigested mouse at my feet. I hope this movie idea didn't do that to her.

It occurs to me, your life would make an excellent movie! This must be done. Who should direct? And who will play you?

The EbertNerd is here again.

When asked this question in an Answer Man column in regard to a rumored Russ Meyer biopic, Roger said Jack Black or Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Roger, it seems to me that you would have enjoyed the early comic strips of "9 Chickweed Lane". The main characters are a teenage girl named Edda and a teenage boy named Amos. The strip started in 1993 with the two of them at a Catholic school.

There used to be an archive at a site called images66amarillo.com, but it's not there anymore, and there are no published books. If anything ever comes up, I'll let you know.

My goodness I enjoyed that. I went to Queen of Apostles in Riverdale, IL from 68-73. I too was instructed by Dominican nuns and my gratitude for that eduction will continue until the day they the box and bury me. Loved the piece Roger.
Mike K.

Ebert: Somebody help me out here.

"Machete." Cheech Marin as a priest gettin all righteous on their asses. This isn't a quote from the movie, but it should be:

"I come for the trouble, but I stay for the barrel-double."

Another one of those blog posts that doesn't feel like a blog post but a short story, or a chapter in an autobiography - which you are writing. This will fly in the face of those who only read your Tweets.

Nice to hear about your early life and your later life. I'm looking forward to "Great Movies III," which improves with age and illness. In fact, since you started this blog, I'm suspecting the writings are simply getting better than ever before.

Time to read "Purgatorio." Undoubtedly you learned about this in Catholic school. I mean, what do you do in purgatory? Is it sort of like limbo? If so, can you get out? Fodder for upper-grade theology discussions. I'm hoping Dante offers some clues.

I've always wondered what a Catholic school teaches about the story in Genesis. OK, first, let's look at what happens during the seven days:

DAY ONE

"In the beginning" the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep.

Almost every word is important to correctly understand the fable. There was a time in the far, distant past, called "the beginning." At that time, there was an ocean. A dark, primordial ocean. But the ocean, apparently, was part of the planet we live on, the planet called Earth.

DAY TWO

God made a dome in the midst of the waters, that separated the waters that were under the dome from the waters that were above the dome. God called the dome "Sky"

Affirming that the planet earth was present "in the beginning" and there were waters above the sky. Waters that would later fall as rain.

DAY THREE

God said, "Let the waters under the sky be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear."

God called the waters that were gathered together Seas. The dry land brought forth plants, and trees of every kind bearing fruit with the seed in it.

DAY FOUR

And God said, "Let there be lights in the dome of the sky." God made (1) the sun (2) the moon and (3) THE STARS and set them in the dome of the sky.

So, in this story, all of the stars were placed in "the dome"... and there are waters ABOVE the dome, which fall as rain. (When the flood starts, there's another verse that explains that.)

The most important part, for me, is the fact that there were trees bearing fruit on earth BEFORE any stars existed.

In reality, the core of our earth is composed of iron and nickel. A very large amount, which was produced through nuclear fusion inside a star that existed before there was an earth.

You think the nuns gave you a great education? In my book, a great education would have included an early science lesson, where you were taught that the Genesis account was not written by a God, but by men who did not know how our planet came to be.

Most students learn how to read. I knew how to read before I started the first grade. I'm sure some of the classes were motivational... but they never taught you that the Bible couldn't possibly be the "word" of a supernatural entity that created the earth and life on it.

The book of Genesis is a human attempt to create a phony religion that takes credit for creation. It was written by someone who thought there was water ABOVE the stars. And it just isn't so.

Ebert: Conservatives certainly do. Not so much today's Republicans and TeePees. Equal rights? New Arizona law. Freedom of speech? "Ground Zero" quote unquote mosque. Separation of church and state? Creationism, return of school prayer. Rights of workingmen? How many Republicans do you know who are strong advocates of labor unions or higher minimum wages?
Point, set and match, I believe.

uh, no. Because you show a complete (willful?) misunderstanding of virtually all the issues above. So let's begin the education:

"Equal rights? New Arizona law."

Wrong. You are confusing the issues, and mis-stating the law. The AZ law CLEARLY states that ANY LAWFUL CONTACT made by the police is subject to the law -- ANY LAWFUL CONTACT therefore means ANY PERSON involved in said contact, therefore there is no inequality. ANY PERSON.

In addition, it is only enforceable if "reasonable suspicion" (long ago defined by the Supreme Court) exists, and adds the language, "reasonable attempt" and "when practicable", to further define parameters under which the law may be enforced.

"FOR ANY LAWFUL CONTACT MADE BY A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIAL OR AGENCY OF THIS STATE OR A COUNTY, CITY, TOWN OR OTHER POLITICAL SUBDIVISION OF THIS STATE WHERE REASONABLE SUSPICION EXISTS THAT THE PERSON IS AN ALIEN WHO IS UNLAWFULLY PRESENT IN THE UNITED STATES, A REASONABLE ATTEMPT SHALL BE MADE, WHEN PRACTICABLE, TO DETERMINE THE IMMIGRATION STATUS OF THE PERSON."

http://www.azleg.gov/legtext/49leg/2r/bills/sb1070s.pdf

"Freedom of speech? "Ground Zero" quote unquote mosque."

Huh? What planet are you on? The opposition to the mosque is based on just about everything EXCEPT freedom of speech. Those wishing to talk about Islam or build a mosque aren't being prevented from building it...just do it somewhere else.

The opposition has to do with the perceived insensitivity shown to the dead and the grieving by placing a house of worship on a site charged with emotion -- when that house of worship represents the religion that drove mass murder. This is augmented by the as-yet-unproven allegations that the mosque is funded by an Imam tied to terrorist organizations.

Ground Zero is a war memorial. Shall I assume you would like to see a State Shinto shrine built at Pearl Harbor? If the Japanese request one and Americans refuse, is that denying "freedom of speech"?

Ridiculous, Roger.

"Separation of church and state? Creationism, return of school prayer."

So let's see....on the one hand you bow at the altar of Islam -- insisting that opposition to a mosque at ground zero is denying freedom of speech, yet denying another religion an opportunity to express ITS point of view somehow ISN"T denying freedom of speech?

Am I to believe that since you have written on these pages that Creationism is total b.s. and therefore its expression should be banned, that Islam is NOT total b.s. and therefore shouldn't be banned?

Nice priorities.

As for the actual number of Republicans and Tea Party Members (you just love feigning ignorance at your insulting names for them) that support creationism -- where is your data?

Oh, that's right, you made a blanket generalization. What a shock.

WHERE IS YOUR DATA regarding the % of Tea Party Members and Republicans that support Creationism and school prayer?

"Rights of workingmen? How many Republicans do you know who are strong advocates of labor unions or higher minimum wages?"

The problem, Roger, is that you provide a premise that higher minimum wages are, by definition, a good thing for all. Guess what? You're wrong, so your whole argument goes out the window.

Have you any clue AT ALL how economics works? I'm all in favor of fair salaries AND for unions to reach agreement on fair and reasonable wages for all. But wage floors have been proven to cause the LOSS Of jobs. It's real simple. If you raise the cost of labor, then the employer must either 1) raise prices, which both causes inflation and decreased demand (econ 101), or 2) cut benefits to workers, offsetting the wage gains, or 3) fire workers.

Jesus, this is basic supply and demand!!! You cannot be this ignorant.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minimum_wage#Economics_of_the_minimum_wage

You also presuppose the inherent good of labor unions, without once offering up the inherent bad:

The SEIU and other labor unions have created a pension debacle that is bankrupting states and the federal government.

The SEIU engages in thuggish tactics on a regular basis. Yeah, they stand for the working man....as long as the working man is not Right of Center.

And by the way, I AM A UNION MEMBER.

My GOD, man, you've gone off the rails.

"Alfred Hitchcock waited in a deep chair by the window, like a judge in chambers preparing for a last word with a strangler. The pale morning sunlight struggled into the room and collapsed at his feet."..RE

Appreciating.

Hello Mr. Ebert,
I too went to Catholic school and have a soft spot for my nuns who were Franciscans. In answer to your question about movies with a more honest portrayal of a Catholic school education, there are several movies that I think of as respectful to the educations most of us received at Catholic schools. The Trouble with Angels with Haley Mills and Rosalind Russel as the Mother Superior is a very sweet one that shows a quiet awakening in a student. While I didn't go to an all girls boarding school, I did identify with the need to rebel and question. Also, in The Bells of St. Mary's (the follow-up to Going My Way where Bing Crosby reprises his role as Father O'Malley) has Ingrid Bergman as a nun at a school that is being threatened with closure. Neither of these films show kids being beaten, although there are some creative punishments. I don't think many modern films are respectful to any religion.

Another great read! Aside from the religious classes at your school, it struck me how very similar my public grade school education in Glen Ellyn IL in the 60's was to yours. How lucky we were to have great teachers.

As for your reader's question: "Are you aware of any movie that depicts Catholic school in a more flattering, or at least fairer and more balanced, light?", hey, how could you forget Rosalind Russell and Hayley Mills in The Trouble with Angels?!

The Bells of Saint Mary's and Going My Way pretty much glorify Catholic school. It would be hard to bag on a school that had Bing Crosby singing at it every week.

Thank you for another vicarious trip into your personal history, Roger. Wow, sorry about the radiation treatments for ear infection. We lived far enough out in the boonies that we didn't even have the shoe sizing scopes. I remember seeing commercials for them though. Nashville must have had them.

I'm surprised that you weren't having eyestrain headaches by junior high. Now your reading a book hidden in your textbook makes sense (in a less misbehaving way) if everybody else was following something on the board. My fifth grade teacher helped me eyes checked to get glasses. I was sitting in the front row and still couldn't read the board. She also had a passion for Sustained Silent Reading (diagnostic book sets for determing reading levels passed out at various times too) and gave us time to read. I learned to appreciate her later. Not everyone was reading the same thing at the same time, cleverly protected students from other students' judgment too I suspect. I didn't care. Reading too engrossing for me. I tended to fall in and not hear my name called if reading.

There is a wider audience for that than just us blog readers. The book sniffers alone probably constitute a significant number :>)

Stephen Fry nails it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR5hWbfZsYs&NR=1

I did not go to a 'private' Catholic school. But the public elementary school I went to still had pretty strong Religious influences. During advent, all students would pray and light the advent candles, and there was religious instruction for both Catholic and Protestant students every week. Once or twice a year, a priest used to visit the church and celebrate Mass, and annoint the students on Ash wednesday. only the handful of Muslims were excempted from attending Catholic Mass.
This all was going on in Quebec, circa 2000. When the education system was reformed and religious elements finally taken out of Public schools, around 2002, the congragation at the local church all thought how horrible it was that the evil government wasn't teaching its students Religion any more.

I did not go to a 'private' Catholic school. But the public elementary school I went to still had pretty strong Religious influences. During advent, all students would pray and light the advent candles, and there was religious instruction for both Catholic and Protestant students every week. Once or twice a year, a priest used to visit the church and celebrate Mass, and annoint the students on Ash wednesday. only the handful of Muslims were excempted from attending Catholic Mass.
This all was going on in Quebec, circa 2000. When the education system was reformed and religious elements finally taken out of Public schools, around 2002, the congragation at the local church all thought how horrible it was that the evil government wasn't teaching its students Religion any more.

Ebert: I remember being told that Latin was one foreign language the Japanese liked because it has no sounds not familiar in Japan. You couldn't say that for French.

They certainly do not like French, a language harder for them than English, even if 'l' and 'r' sounds, and 'v' and 'b' sounds, are difficult to for them to tell apart, both when listening to and speaking English.

My dad went to a Catholic school from elementary through high school. He remembers having to kneel on hot pavement on Assumption Day. In fact, he'd probably have more to say about your post than I do, with all of the memories that he has. He, however, always thought that his education was not as good as what he could have gotten in a public school, and believes that my siblings and I got a better education than he did. I guess, like anything else, the school depends on the teachers.

As for me, I found out that I needed glasses when we were testing eyesight in eighth grade science class, in pairs. Thank you, eighth grade science class!

Well I've never commented on your blog before but after reading this piece and some of the comments, I was surprised by how much emphasis was put on diagramming sentences(and this was in elementary school?)

I've attended elementary schools in North Carolina and in Connecticut and I don't remember a teacher even mentioning diagramming sentences until the eight grade, and then she never actually taught us how. I'm going to the 11th grade this year and I still have not been taught how to diagram a sentence.

It's not as if I've attended bad schools, in fact my high school is rated as one of the hundred best public schools in the country.

I'm not sure if this is out of the ordinary today, but is this something that I should take upon myself to learn?

Currently attending Catholic High School, I have always felt that faith creates such an atmosphere that truly enriches the educational process. I think the idea of some ultimate truth, something beyond ourselves, better prepares boys and girls to develop into good people and generous members of society. I am sad to see so many comments about people who attended and subsequently lost all faith, but I am glad that they feel that the culture of the faith they've rejected helped shape them for the better. Amen.

The mosque you are so eager to have placed at Ground Zero, Roger, represents the religion that does this:

http://themoderatevoice.com/82297/it-is-hard-to-behold-but-far-harder-to-live-through-mutiliation-of-women-ordered-by-judges/

Nice.

Ebert: Of course I am appalled by the mistreatment of women in some societies. Muslim fanatics give a bad name to the moderate majority in many other nations. I could end you links to the atrocities committed by members of the faith of your choice.

Now I know why I like (and trust) your reviews. I'm using your reviews to decide if I want to see a movie in TV. I grew up in a small german diocesan town, went to university in 1968, didn't like McNamara then, but I'm really impressed by his interview 'Fogs of war'. My grandma told me a lot about hell and limbo, today I'm a 'catholic atheist'. I'm catholic by my genes, by christening as well as by growing up in a rural catholic family. I can't stop thinking catholic by not believing in god, telling openly I don't believe.
Thank you for your reviews

Ora pro nobis, indeed!

Hi Roger:

Not sure if you will remember me, but I worked in the S-T features dept. as an editorial assistant from 1976-78 - and loved every second of it. You were always kind and supportive and your humor was always a highlight for me.

I am a avid reader of your blog, and just had to comment here about your memories of Catholic grade school. I too wonder at all they accomplished - in my case with 50 kids in a classroom!

Thank you for this piece, and for the kindness you showed me all those years ago.
Donna Kelleher (Frake)

I just watched Guy Maddin's "My Winnipeg," and I think I understand your great admiration of it. Watching his memories reminded me of reading yours.

That's a compliment, though I don't know if I'm complimenting you by comparison to him, or him by comparison to you.

Roger,
Having never attended any kind of Catholic School, I can't fully connect with your tale of childhood learning. However, you paint a picture that is as compelling and inviting as the movie "Stand By Me". No, I attended public school and, no doubt, could weave an equally compelling tale about my experiences in that institution... But that is beside the point, isn't it? What I get from this, is that some part of you is dwelling in nostalgia. Nostalgia is as welcoming as ritual, although ritual is the crutch of childhood. Nostalgia is the crutch of adulthood. However, because this is the internet, where absolutes are regularly dealt, I will add- that has been my experience.

Somehow that old joke always comes to mind: "Catholic school--eight years of nuns, four years of priests, twelve years of therapy."

I was brought up Catholic but never attended Catholic schools; the closest I came was first grade catechism (1972), which was taught by Sister Immaculada. Imagine Grace Kelly in a black and white habit. I lived for Saturdays, to see that beautiful serene blue-eyed face surrounded by the wimple, her gentle voice telling me and my classmates about God's love. She couldn't have been any more than thirty. My most vivid memory was coming in early to Mass one Sunday morning in our tiny mission church. She was there in the front pew, praying. I immediately ran to her and while now I know I startled her she took it well. "Are you talking to God, Sister?" I asked.

She smiled and put her arm around me. "Yes, Patricia, but God likes it when another person joins in."

My church got a very liberal pastor the following year, and laypeople rather than nuns started teaching catechism. Sister Immaculata's day job was teaching at a Catholic grammar school on the Jersey Shore; some of my cousins were taught by her. She loved writing and reading letters, and I wrote a letter to her every week and she wrote back to me, and I would see her sometimes when we visited my relatives. When my mother died in December 1978 I was twelve, and Sister made a point to come to me. She took me to church and prayed as I wept on her shoulder, as she hugged me and rocked me. The next year she went to Mexico to teach at a mission school. Two weeks before I made my confirmation I found out that she had been killed in a car accident outside of Mexico City. I had already submitted my confirmation name--Kathleen, for my mother at my family's request; I got away with it because Kathleen is the Gaelic for Catherine and there's plenty of saints named Catherine--but the pastor at my church pulled some strings, and at the ceremony the bishop blessed me as Kathleen Immaculada.

I abandoned the Church and religion long ago, but this entry made me remember a good kind young woman who devoted her life to teaching others, just as your teachers did. In an odd way I think nuns were the original feminists, for in devoting their lives to God they could live their lives as they wished and not play the expected roles of wife and mother. There are times when my Catholic upbringing briefly rears its head--let's face it, if you're a romantic Catholicism is the way to go, all stained glass windows and Gothic architecture and ornate vestments and incense--and when I enter a Catholic church I find myself lighting two candles--one for my mother, one for Sister Immaculada.

I'm picking a nit on top of a nit on top of a wonderfully evocative piece, but:

Don't forget that it's possible to have the "rights of workingmen" at heart, and also to believe that strong labor unions and a minimum wage ultimately damage those rights. One can see a different path to justice without being unjust.

And yes, I remember your recollections of your father as a union member. If his experience were remotely representative today, unions would be a lot less damaging.

I've always wondered what a Catholic school teaches about the story in Genesis. OK, first, let's look at what happens during the seven days:

DAY ONE

"In the beginning" the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep.

Almost every word is important to correctly understand the fable. There was a time in the far, distant past, called "the beginning." At that time, there was an ocean. A dark, primordial ocean. But the ocean, apparently, was part of the planet we live on, the planet called Earth.

DAY TWO

God made a dome in the midst of the waters, that separated the waters that were under the dome from the waters that were above the dome. God called the dome "Sky"

Affirming that the planet earth was present "in the beginning" and there were waters above the sky. Waters that would later fall as rain.

DAY THREE

God said, "Let the waters under the sky be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear."

God called the waters that were gathered together Seas. The dry land brought forth plants, and trees of every kind bearing fruit with the seed in it.

DAY FOUR

And God said, "Let there be lights in the dome of the sky." God made (1) the sun (2) the moon and (3) THE STARS and set them in the dome of the sky.

So, in this story, all of the stars were placed in "the dome"... and there are waters ABOVE the dome, which fall as rain. (When the flood starts, there's another verse that explains that.)

The most important part, for me, is the fact that there were trees bearing fruit on earth BEFORE any stars existed.

In reality, the core of our earth is composed of iron and nickel. A very large amount, which was produced through nuclear fusion inside a star that existed before there was an earth.

You think the nuns gave you a great education? In my book, a great education would have included an early science lesson, where you were taught that the Genesis account was not written by a God, but by men who did not know how our planet came to be.

Most students learn how to read. I knew how to read before I started the first grade. I'm sure some of the classes were motivational... but they never taught you that the Bible couldn't possibly be the "word" of a supernatural entity that created the earth and life on it.

The book of Genesis is a human attempt to describe how a god might have created a small universe consisting of the planet earth and those tiny lights up above us in the sky. The authors had no idea how large the universe really is, or... I don't know if they would have lied about it, to keep their religion intact. Seems they could have added some of it to make their YHWH seem more important.

The biggest problem with a Catholic education is the way Catholics think it made them smarter. It didn't. Even a basic religion class should have covered the mistake on the first page of the book.

There's a boarding school in Switzerland called La Rosey. In winter, they move the entire student body to a different city where they can learn advanced ski techniques. Now, that's an education.

Ebert: Bill, Bill, Bill. As I'm sure you know,Catholics are not taught, nor should they believe, that Genesis is to be taken literally. It is an ancient fable, symbolizing the fact of God's creation but hardly its method.

Hey, Mr. Ebert, I'm just wondering why you didn't post a review for the biggest opening this week, 'The Other Guys', starring Dwayne Johnson, Samuel L. Jackson, Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg?

You've done this before with 'The Blind Side' and Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3.

I just can't find your reviews on these huge films, and it's very odd as to why they don't exist.

Ebert: This month I'm taking a leave to write my memoirs and reviewing on a much-reduced schedule.

Ebert: Somebody help me out here.

The Australian miniseries "The Brides of Christ" is an interesting depiction of nuns adjusting to Vatican II and takes place in a Catholic school.

Well, Mr. Ebert, I can finally forgive you for writing that horrible recommendation for "Pulp Fiction". After reading this blog post, I have decided we must be the same age, & I can forgive you for sending me to that appalling film. Like you, I experienced most of what you report except for the order of nuns, Sisters of St. Francis, Milwaukee, WI.

It's amazing to reflect on the medical backwardness we survived, yet survive we did. I, too, needed glasses and didn't know it until I was in my late teens and couldn't pass the drivers examination. And, as for radiation - Wow, that really rings a bell! My brother received daily radiation treatments for a back tumor; he died at age 66 of stomach cancer. However, in 1949, I was treated as a charity case at Children's Memorial, in Chicago, for severe abdominal pain and was cured of an ovarian tumor after weeks of hospital observations and clinical exams. Medical breakthroughs were set to take off, and we were the guinea pigs I think.

Thanks for stirring up these memories. Those were the days, my friend.

Great article Roger. I too had a Catholic education and we are struggling to provide that for our boys today. I learned to formulate and defend an argument under Catholic tutelage, such as why "Video games can never be art." :)

Another movie that positively depicts Catholic education, albeit breifly, is Claude Lelouch's amazing LES MISERABLES DU VINGTIEME SIECLE, where a Jewish girl is taken in to a boarding school run by nuns. The mother superior teaches her all the proper prayers in order to fool Nazi inspectors, but otherwise makes no effort to convert her. A delightful exchange occurs between them after one such encounter (paraphrasing):

"Why do Jews have different prayers than Catholics?"

"Because God loves to hear all kinds of prayers."

From John Panagopoulos:
Are you aware of any movie that depicts Catholic school in a more flattering, or at least fairer and more balanced, light?

By Alan on August 6, 2010 1:52 PM
In response to the request for a movie that "depicts Catholic school in a more flattering, or at least fairer and more balanced, light?" How about "Doubt"? Or an older one, "The Bells of St. Mary's"?

By Sally on August 6, 2010 1:59 PM
Re: "...are you aware of any movie that depicts Catholic school in a more flattering, or at least fairer... light?(if I may help you, 'help me':)

(1945) The Bells of Saint Marys
**starring real stars**
Bing Crosby: Father O'Malley
Ingrid Bergman: Sister Benedict
..and you went to St Marys for eight years??
--in addition to hearing your dear Mother praying to Hail Mary on her last days on earth!!
--Dude,you better go dig up your dusty 'ol scapular.

By James Caley on August 6, 2010 7:15 PM
In reply to John Panagopoulos's question about movies that depict Catholic school in a positive or fair light, I would recommend the following:

"The Bells of Saint Mary's": I actually don't particularly like this one, but from what I hear from my grandmother, who went to a catholic school in the 1930s and 40s, it's fairly accurate.

"Millions": A pretty great movie, I think. Catholicism is heavily featured in the movie in an irreverent way. But not in a BAD irreverent way. I can't explain it. You'll know what I mean when you see it.

"Au revoir les enfants": One of my absolute favorites. It presents, in my opinion, a fair depiction of catholic school.

By Peter Reiher on August 6, 2010 4:07 PM
Mr. Panagopoulos asked about films that portrayed Catholic schools sympathetically. Prior to the late 1960s, when portrayed at all, the portrayal of Catholic schools was invariably sympathetic in Hollywood films. An obvious example is "Bells of St. Mary." "The Trouble With Angels," in the mid 1960s, and "Where Angels Go, Trouble Follows" a couple of years later are other examples. These films portrayed priests and nuns as wise, caring, intelligent, and somewhere in the neighborhood of infallible.

More recently, but not from Hollywood, "Au Revoir Les Enfants" is another example of putting a Catholic education in a favorable light.

By Kris on August 6, 2010 6:07 PM
Off the top of my head, as far as positive portrayals of Catholic school go, there's always the "Sister Act" movies... for better or worse!

M. Night Shyamalan's "Wide Awake" comes immediately to mind. Roger didn't like the movie (and his reasons were indeed valid), but I have a soft spot for it. If nothing else, it is a warm, fair depiction of Catholic school.

By Chris Sabga on August 6, 2010 10:24 PM
From John Panagopoulos:
Are you aware of any movie that depicts Catholic school in a more flattering, or at least fairer and more balanced, light?

M. Night Shyamalan's "Wide Awake" comes immediately to mind. Roger didn't like the movie (and his reasons were indeed valid), but I have a soft spot for it. If nothing else, it is a warm, fair depiction of Catholic school.

To Alan, Sally, James Caley, Peter Reiher, Kris, and Chris Sabga (and any other poster who responded whom I may have inadvertently missed):

Thank you very much for your responses to my query above. It is refreshing to know that moviedom is not always in thrall to cliches. However, doggone it, my "Catholic Hell" definition suggestion for Mr. Ebert's Movie Glossary has been invalidated!!! Oh, well.. :-S

Wait a Second wrote with respect to Creationism:

"So let's see....on the one hand you bow at the altar of Islam -- insisting that opposition to a mosque at ground zero is denying freedom of speech, yet denying another religion an opportunity to express ITS point of view somehow ISN"T denying freedom of speech?"

If Islam were taught as fact or as reasonable theory in schools, I (and I suspect Roger) would also oppose it. No one is denying the rights of a church to espouse whatever beliefs it likes. However religion should not be be taught in public schools (and I am not counting comparative religion, philosophy, or literature classes - obviously there are places where in context it is appropriate to discuss them)

Please do not create false equivalencies like this.

In Catholic grade school, a friend of mine purposefully jumped into a puddle, and the nun monitoring recess pulled him away and asked/yelled, "Do you have no brains?!"

Nuns are hilarious.

Ironic that in our childhood, "liberal" was based in liberty, while today it seems to mean government coercion instead. The Catholic education (especially Jesuit style) assumed that people would have questions and think; the whole doctrine of "free will" loses its luster otherwise, and practicing free will through responsible life choices (including an eye toward the welfare of others) is central to the informed Catholic world view.

We lived in a small town for several years that had almost no government services, and yet no one was neglected, it seems. The Catholic Church ran the food pantry, the Protestants handled the clothing drive, and the LDS provided shelter to those who needed it.

This model helped all who sought help, and reached out to many to see if they wanted to ask for help. I prefer it a great deal to the compulsory programs foisted on us lately that do nothing to solve anything except entrench another layer of bureaucracy.

Ebert: Liberal still stand for liberty. I hope you haven't fallen for the relentless drive to equate it with "anything disapproved of by Rush and Glenn." I was watching Beck today and was sickened because I knew he was finding an audience of people lacking much ability to think for themselves.

As for the Latin hymns, "Tantum Ergo" has a power beyond description. Latin is so easy to pronounce (apparently; do we know how the Romans pronounced it?).

We can never know for certain, but there is some indirect discussion of proper pronunciation in classical writers--particularly Cicero and Quintilian, who left us treatises on Roman oratory. Classical poetry, with its carefully-observed vowel quantity and the wordplay of masters like Virgil offers some additional, tantalizing clues. And by the early Middle ages someone wrote a guide to avoiding common pronunciation errors--a kind of crib sheet for an age when the language was first breaking down into local vernaculars.

Comparative linguistics fills in the rest, and classicists today favor a reconstructed pronunciation which--in theory--matches that of an Augustan-age Roman. It's quite different from the ecclesiatical pronunciation; for example, the letter "v" is pronounced more like a modern "w", which makes Caesar's famous quip "Veni, Vidi, Vici" sound more like "Wehnee, Weedee, Weekee", which to my mind is decidedly less intimidating.

Of course, hymns like Tantum Ergo were written by men who used the (still current) ecclesiastical pronunciation, and Aquinas sure knew how to exploit the power of the spoken Medieval language (though for my money Celano's Dies Irae is better).

Ebert: We were taught to say it "Wehnee, Weedee, Weekee" by Mrs. Link! That's how I had my computer pronounce it in my Webby acceptance speech.

You mighty be amazed by how many in that high-tech audience had no idea what I was referring to.

Unrelated to your post, but I thought you'd appreciate this found cinematography [like found poetry]; this is how you do a revealing panning shot:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrmIutAOooA

I almost hate to ask this, but I'm wondering:

You've hinted that you're working on your memoirs right now, but if you made a formal announcement I must have missed it. Are these biographical blog entries excerpts from the forthcoming tome, or leftover material, or just whatever you happen to be thinking about on a given weekend?

I only ask because if your life story, as told by you, is coming out eventually, then I'd rather sit down with the whole thing in book form and dive in, rather than taking in occasional little nuggets on the computer screen. Surely you understand.

Mr. Ebert, the story about you asking your two friends to fight is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

Thank you for sharing that story. Haha

Ebert: My grade school (had) no resources for science, music, physical education, or foreign languages except the Latin of the Mass and hymns.

Hard to imagine a grade school that didn't teach science... the competition for medical school is so intense today, you have to start early.

The problem that I see, is that a Catholic school taught you the wrong things about science.

Number one is, don't fudge the data. Do the tests, collect the data, and announce your conclusions based on what you found.

Teaching from a book, rather than the experimental method... that explains so much. the constant refusal to admit error. If you think the book is more important than science, you'll never appreciate the beauty of science.

When you talk about the evils of Creationism... you're also talking about the evils of a Catholic education. Giving any credibility to a Creation Myth is the kiss of death.

Ebert: You would have approved, then, of what we were taught about science.

We are separated by distance and a generation, but I was blessed to enjoy a similar experience at St. Genevieve School in Chicago in the mid-1970s. I was born deaf in one ear and don't remember it being a factor; the nuns and teachers simply allowed me to always sit in the first row of seats, a great privilege considering my name usualy put me in the middle of the room. When my vision started getting blurry in 7th grade it passed without notice. It wasn't until I was hospitalized for type 1 diabetes that my parents and the school realized what was happening. The whole school was asked to pray for me and my friends thought I was dying. They were shocked when I came back a week later, very much alive and fortunately responding well to treatment. I thought God had granted me a miracle because I could finally see the blackboard!

And the school was no safety winner either...we routinely helped the janitor throw trash in the open flames of the incinerator, and crossing the four lanes of busy Cicero Avenue was pretty treacherous. Recess meant a run around the parking lot across the street, or if you were lucky someone remembered to bring a bat and ball and you could play fast pitch or stickball. Gym class consisted of things like floor hockey played in the basement, taking care to avoid the posts every few feet. And no one got hot lunches--you brought your own from home and hoped it was neither too cold nor too hot, so that your half pint of milk from Hedlin's Dairy didn't freeze or turn bad.

And oh, the nuns...we were all convinced they were truly supernatural beings. Most sainted of all was Sister Jean Michael, our 'tomboy' who loved softball and called us her "dolls and dreamboats." With few exceptions we grew up believing God truly loved us because Sr. Jean was so full of affection for all of us. I don't recall any of the nuns being particularly gifted academically, but I left grade school a full three years ahead in reading. My high school was also Catholic but a letdown compared to St. Gen's. There it was lay teachers, not nuns, who shaped what education I got. Oddly both schools were run by Franciscans...but then it was the late 1980s by that point, and same-sex Catholic high schools in Chicago were rapidly becoming a thing of the past.

What I loved most was the feeling of community--we were taught to love everyone as brothers and sisters, starting with the boys and girls in our own small class. To this day most of us are still friends and I find it remarkable that a group of 50-odd kids from a big city like Chicago could have had such an intimate, small-town experience. I don't have children of my own, but I hope there are kids somewhere being encased in the same magical bubble we had. It's heartbreaking to realize how fragile it all was.

It was the education that I most value from my years in Catholic grammar and high school.

We had nuns teach some of the grammar school classes, with lay teachers supplementing the teaching load. I clearly remember those nuns--the young, enthusiastic ones, and the old, cranky ones.

When it was time to pick a high school, I opted to avoid the Chicago public high school, and I attended Quigley Preparatory Seminary North. Only one or two nuns as teachers, but a quality education provided in a safe, disciplined environment.

I found out how much I needed that structure when I went to college at Eastern Illinois University, a public university down the road from your hometown.

Let's just say that I didn't obtain the level of academic success that my high school grades and college-level testing predicted. But my volunteer work on the daily student newspaper provided experience and skills that continue to benefit me. My writing improved, as well!

Re: what Wait a second.. said,

He mentioned that just because sb1070 is an equal-rights-offending document, stating that it applies to "any person", that it doesn't offend rights.

Going to jail because you don't have an I.D. is taking rights AWAY. Just because it applies to everybody doesn't mean it is not taking away rights.

By the logic of Wait a second (the name of commenter), you could say murdering people is okay, as long as it is "ANY PERSON."

Re: Wait a second,

I do agree about what you said concerning the mosque. If there is a suspicion to terrorist ties, it shouldn't be built there. That would be dangerous.

As far as separation of church and state, I don't think you know what he was referring to. He was talking about making it MANDATORY for school prayer and teaching "Intelligent design." God doesn't want us to be mandated to love Him or each other through Him because it would be meaningless if we couldn't choose not to. Name me one thing about "intelligent design" that can be tested, which, by its own name, really is just an observation that we might have been created by aliens; that's really explorations and discovery, not science to say that we were created by a being; you don't test that, you just use your eyes.

He wasn't talking about shutting them up outright, only to not FORCE us to have to hear it.

As far as it relating to Republicans and Tea Partiers. Do you not remember the Presidential debates where just about all of the candidates said they don't believe in evolution? Isn't that kind of a litmus test for the rest of them, as they, our representatives, are who run for President? The candidates alone should be enough "data", as you asked.

I don't want to get into the whole economic part, but to be fair, he didn't actually get into policies; all he said is what they were FOR, not HOW they were for them.

Reply to: Ebert: Bill, Bill, Bill. As I'm sure you know, Catholics are not taught, nor should they believe, that Genesis is to be taken literally. It is an ancient fable, symbolizing the fact of God's creation but hardly its method.

Today, more than 2,000 years later, you can say that. In fact, maybe you have to say that.

But you're ignoring the evidence. Fudging the data.

When you look at the text, it says (literally) "And God said, let there be light. And there was light."

You think the people who edited our Old Testament considered that a fable that didn't even try to describe 'the method of creation.'??

I think you've got it completely wrong.

A Catholic education teaches "the Old Testament is the word of God" as well as the New Testament.

If that story can be taken as "the word of God" in any sense, then why does a "fable" say that trees were producing fruit on the dry land on the day before stars were created?

Christians haven't figured out that, if you read the Bible carefully enough, it PROVES that God had nothing to do with it.

But there are plenty of people who went to Catholic school here. I'm anxious to hear their reports on how they figured out that the Seven Days of Creation in Genesis weren't meant to be taken literally.

Ebert: This month I'm taking a leave to write my memoirs and reviewing on a much-reduced schedule.

To my thinking, Mr. Ebert, your writing your memoirs seems rather redundant. You have already compiled, and are continuing to compile, a cumulative set of memoirs through your personalized movie reviews, movie interviews, blogs, and "twitters". All you would need to do is publish an initial compendium of these personalized reviews, interviews, etc. and supplement them in subsequent editions.

Ebert: Of course I am appalled by the mistreatment of women in some societies. Muslim fanatics give a bad name to the moderate majority in many other nations. I could end you links to the atrocities committed by members of the faith of your choice.

I always hear that from well-intentioned leftists, but it's a half-truth.

Yes, there are fanatics and awful people in all faiths. But none have such widespread pernicious influence in the modern day as the extremists of Islam. The Pat Robertsons of the world are hateful and repulsive, for example, but they are in no position to produce a Taliban, or burkhas, or religious police, or people threatened with death...sometimes actually killed...for converting to another religion or saying/writing something 'blasphemous.'

When 'Piss Christ' was released, there were death threats, but there were no actual deaths or riots or burned embassies in retaliation. When Dogma or The Last Temptation of Christ came out, not a single person was killed in consequence; some people came out to wave around signs and complain, and were largely ignored, the issue eventually settling down quite peacefully. Yale has never felt the need to censor images related to Buddhism or Taoism or Hinduism for the safety of its employees, as Buddhists and Taoists and Hindus generally don't kill people who besmirch their faith, and everyone trusts in that fact.

Despite what it sounds like, I'm not Islamophobic, necessarily. There are any number of moderate Muslims in the West I have no beef with...well, no more so than I do with any other religious believer I don't agree with. I don't think Islam has to be this way by design, anymore than Christianity had to be the way it was when it captured Jerusalem during the first crusade and systematically slaughtered the non-Christian inhabitants, or burned women as witches, or taught that Jews sacrificed Christian children in demonic ceremonies.

But right now, a depressingly huge swath of the Islamic world is this way, and as a consequence they are currently in a deep, deep hole with no signs of emerging anytime soon. It does no good for anyone on either side of the political spectrum to equate the situation with any other religion and pretend the problem is really that mild. There really is no valid comparison; in regards to religious-inspired backwardness, the Islamic world is in a class all by itself.

This is speaking as a leftist, mind. In fact, that's partly why the situation strikes me so negatively; the modern Islamic world in general is the very opposite of the kind of society most leftists envision as desirable.

"When you talk about the evils of Creationism... you're also talking about the evils of a Catholic education. Giving any credibility to a Creation Myth is the kiss of death."

Bill,
Pope John Paul came out in full support of evolution in 1996. Creationism is (almost) exclusively upheld by American Fundamentalist Protestants.

Unless, of course, you are referring to the lessons held within the book of Genesis about honesty and faithfulness. Those figuratively lessons hold timeless truths, don't you think?

I still have my Dominic Savio Club pin from sixth grade!

Mr. Ebert,

I thoroughly enjoyed this particular piece. I myself am entering the field of education and have a special appreciation for those who appreciate their own education.

However, I post to draw attention to a post made a by a Mr. "jack johnson." He pasted a link to the cover of the August issue of Time; the cover bears a photo of an Afgahn women who had her nose and ears severed as punishment for fleeing from her abusive husband.

His original comment was: "The mosque you are so eager to have placed at Ground Zero, Roger, represents the religion that does this:"

That very issue of Time contains a quote taken from a New York Times article written by Clyde Haberman in reference to the "mosque:":

"that it may even be called a mosque is debatable. It is designed as a mutli-use complex with a space set aside for prayer-no minarets, no muezzin calls to prayer...It would seem to qualify as a mosque as much as a chapel in a Roman Catholic hospital qualifies as a church."

That is the quote in it's entirety as it appears in the same issue that Mr. "jack johnson" linked you to the cover of. I have a feeling Superfan Mr. "jack johnson" didn't actually read the magazine...

Do you s'pose Tom Dark's grammar advice can be dees-counted?

---At your peril. Many's the poor blighter in the gutter who did.

Whoa. We not only learned all about evolution, we got to debate it. Sixth grade Catholic elementary school. The debate didn't question it as scientific fact. The Holy See had approved of it then, too. I'll never forget when Sharon O'Connor stood up and doubted God out loud. (I thought she'd let the cat out of the bag. That had became a common quiet recognition by about 5th grade.)

It took years to disabuse myself of that dumb-ass idea. It'll prob'ly take too many too long to do same. After all, we'll prob'ly always have Amish people, too. But these are ball-game arguments where only two sides equally matched in stultified imaginations may enjoy play, so, 'nuff said.

I attended "secular" school by 9th grade. It was as boring as Chinese water torture in comparison. So went the rest of hi-school, largely, minus a bright spot here and there. Those nuns (and the secular teachers) had a LOT of freedom to educate as they felt best, and the concomitant enthusiasm bred just what the public schools are most lacking today.

And yeah, "Tantum Ergo." I still hum it. I bet Jove enjoyed hearing it too.

I love reading your work Mr. Ebert. It's so relaxing. You have always shown a real gift for narrative and insight in your writing. It's always a pleasure. In regards to your blogging, I was wondering if you'd be willing to comment about the upcoming cancellation of; At The Movies.

You've been my primary reference for upcoming films for as long as I've loved movies. I've enjoyed watching your classic reviews on the At The Movies website as well. They've helped me determine which older films are worth seeking out on my own. I'm sure others have had similar experiences with your work and are just as curious as I am to read your thoughts on the show's legacy in popular culture and professional criticism.

I hope you'll seriously consider blogging on this topic. Best wishes Roger, and take care.

[b] Ebert: The process of evolution has been witnessed and documented by science. This is a fact. Look it up for yourself. It has stood up to 150 years of challenges.

Few scientists believe the Big Bang came from nothing. Where do you believe the Creator came from? [/b]

Are you referring to evolution as factual or the fact that there has been documentation on evolutionism? Evolution is certainly not a fact, it's a theory. Many theories have stood for centuries only to be crumbled. Evolution is not a law yet(though I believe in evolution).

Ebert: By definition a scientific Theory cannot be a Law.

But it is a fact that the process of evolution has been witnessed and documented by science. For starters, google a famous book titled The Beak of the Finch.

i've read the first four paragraphs about six times, and i'll probably read them again. i've been teaching about 22 years, and i'm tired. i'm not tired of teaching - i'm tired of being told how to teach.

i'm tired of being told to accommodate students, that i should allow them to misbehave and act like idiots because it's part of their personal growth, inherent character, and need for individuality. meanwhile, other students are cheated of their education while everyone has to tolerate the brats who want time to be foolish. this results in other students wondering if they should have their foolish moment to stand out. tolerating poor behavior breeds more.

just as no one player is more important than the concept of a "team," no one student is more important than the process of education. too often we stop the momentum of education to coddle the individual who pulled the emergency brake. of course there are times when a student is a child with an immediate need that must be addressed, but we must discern with priority.

education, as an industry, has been highly criticized as test scores seem to be dropping when compared worldwide. naturally, the blame seems to go to the teachers because they're the ones delivering the instruction. however, if the greatest carpenter in the world is given rotten wood, nothing much is going to be built.

Catholic upbringing until age 18 when I realized I truly did not believe.

But I remember my Catholic schooling and it has done me well throughout my life.

The adoption of the pagan babies brings back memories - and the photo of the Dominican nun. Sr. Mary Constantia's whole head apparatus flew off one day in the choir loft, and we all laughed - so did she. Little tiny head encased in linen and supporting that black veil.

I remember to this day an announcement in my 7th grade class - thinking something had happened to our parish pastor because he'd been sick and, to me, he was so OLD - but it was the news that JFK had been shot. We were stunned.

The parish pastor wasn't that old - he went on to become a Monsignor then left the church and married a former nun - still some fire in the old boy!

Writing memoirs sounds interesting... Are you taking a generous portion from your blogs, or is it all new material?

Ebert: A great deal will be new.

Okay, so how can you get me feeling so nostalgic when our backgrounds have next-to-nothing in common? (me - 70s and 80s, Texas, public, Southern Baptist; you - 50s, Illinois, private, Catholic) I guess because I also received an excellent education by teachers who knew their stuff. They cared about teaching and didn't just drone out information but expected us to excel and push ourselves. I was amazed when I went to university at how little some of my fellow Texans had been taught. I actually dated a fellow student who'd never read Shakespeare! I asked how that was possible, as my classmates and I had been studying his plays since the 9th grade. (And we didn't just read them - our teachers also had us watch the plays, memorize passages, and even listen to an old LP recording of one performance.) I also fondly remember diagramming starting in 8th grade and then getting a refresher on it our senior year to make sure we were fully prepared for the SATs. We were seniors and thought we were SO smart until Mrs. Holland pushed us to diagram college-level sentences!

Since so many people have given their "glasses" story, I'll include mine: Mrs. Bell, my 2nd grade teacher, noticed that my nose was always in a book, quite literally. She pointed it out to my mother, and voila! Glasses. Oh the shame.

As far as who's going to hell or not, at least your nuns provided "some" people with an out. Southern Baptists are quite clear on this subject (sorry, Rog), as they are too on the literal interpretation of the Bible (even Genesis). I would have loved having more chances to question and form my own opinions BEFORE going to that university. But we sure had some awesome bull sessions once we got there!

Thanks for the wonderful stories.

Your reminiscence blog posts all sound familiar to me. I had a post-Vatican II version of the same experiences as a Catholic grade schooler. It was soon enough after Vatican II that I don't think the changes had taken hold with all the nuns and priests yet, though of course we didn't have Latin mass. Growing up Catholic in the Midwest from, say 1950-1980 is a very particular type of upbringing recognizable to anyone who grew up the same way.

to: jack johnson
re: mosque at ground zero

yeah, about that.

1. it's not a mosque. it's a community center.

b. it's about four blocks away.

III. before 9/11 that site was a burlington coat factory, not anything really tied to 9/11.

4. there's already a mosque just as close, and it's been there more than 30 years.

e. i'm not saying i want the "mosque" built, but i am saying we're really going overboard about it.

please remember something. the 9/11 hijackers/murderers were muslim. they were also male. should we worry about all males? timothy mcvieigh, the oklahoma city bomber, was roman catholic. should we block a roman catholic church from being built near ground zero? he was also republican and an NRA member. should we keep both of those groups away from ground zero?

enough?

Among the disadvantages of reincarnation are having to relive infancy and childhood--the multiplication tables and the ass wiping--all over again. But you can take it or leave it.

If you couldn't get into a Catholic school when I was growing up or a private school, then one hoped to have a friend or relative in Evanston, IL, where one could get a top drawer education for free. Well, not so free, actually. Seventy-five percent of our outrageously high property taxes subsidize the Evanston public school system, which, in recent years, has become somewhat dismal. But during the 50s and 60s when I grew up there, the school system was even better than New Trier's!

One year Walter Cronkite came to ETHS to investigate why the mammoth high school was so successful--nearly 90% of its graduates went on to college. I think it was successful because it was actually a school with good teachers and students that didn't make cell phone calls all day (of course, we didn't have cell phones back then but one year we did enjoy the luxury of having wall phones in the student lounges until a few students abused the privilege by ordering pizzas they wouldn't pay for).

In grade school we also diagrammed sentences, read the Weekly Reader, and discussed the threat of communism a lot. We never prayed, but recited the Pledge of Allegiance every morning before any educating took place.

I was beat up a lot, especially by a girl I thought was a friend, Mary Bell. After school, I'd have to run home and if I was lucky, my grandmother would be there sweeping the front steps. My grandmother scared most of my friends. A tall white-skinned black woman, she was always dressed (no matter the season) in a heavy coat with foxes as a collar, sensible heels, pearls, and feathered hat when she was in public, even when she was sweeping the porch steps or sidewalk. She wasn't a violent woman, but she could transform her broom into a lethal weapon that would stop my menacers cold and send them running backwards as soon as they spotted her. Of course, if she wasn't there, I would get beat up.

Just sharing.

"I was watching Beck today and was sickened because I knew he was finding an audience of people lacking much ability to think for themselves."

So if you provide a specific example from the show;
what is was specifically that sickened you;

then we can evaluate whether you are the one who isn't thinking, or they are.

Ebert: He was assuring his viewers that Obama was enamored with the "Soviet constitution" of Kenya that his grandfather participated in. This is an outrageous falsehood. And the constitution aside, do you think Obama was more influenced by a grandfather he never met and a father he met once than by the much-loved American grandparents who raised him?

You want an entertaining movie about Catholic school? Try the comedy "Nuns on the Run," starring Robbie Coltrane as Sister Inviolata of the Immaculate Conception and Eric Idle as Sister Euphemia of the Five Wounds. They are petty crooks who unwittingly duck into a Catholic girls' school to hide out from other gangsters and end up impersonating a couple of visiting teaching nuns. The scene with Robbie Coltrane handing out towels in the girls' shower after gym class is priceless, but the best is Robbie explaining the trinity to Eric who has to teach the concept in class 10 minutes later. Watch the clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBYs__VRqBs&feature=related

No way to comment on reviews, but thanks for not going all 4* on the Julia Roberts movie. I couldn't finish the book - I like to say that she lost me after "Eat". I found her incredibly whiney with a minor in entitlement. But then I stopped watching Oprah about 6 years ago....

--didn't we just read a reference to: (1966 French Film) "Au Hasard Balthazar"

...in 1966 My husband was an altar boy serving mass at Saint Marys with Reverend Henri Tomei.
(From Marselles, France) Tomei was known as a hero of the anti-fascist French resistance movement during WW2. Father was a musician, composer, choir director, and wonderful to all... 'never you mind that He spoke no english whatsoever during his eight blessed years at Saint Marys, Los Gatos, Calif...

--out of the nearby Santa Cruz Mountains came a mass murderer- , in 1972, on All Souls Day, Father Tomei was stabbed and stomped to death while hearing confessions in the church.
...
..some of our priests, and nuns, really did die for our sins. ..and to all of them I send my grateful prayer, and eternal respect. amen.

I attended Catholic grammar school in New Jersey from 1962 to 1970. I have very fond memories of that time, but one of most uniquely odd rituals I recall was the practice of "blessing the hour." Pretty much every hour on the hour for eight years a voice would come across the classroom loudspeaker and announce,"Pardon me sisters and teachers, it is time to bless the hour." The class would then recite: " One more hour of my life has passed. To meet sweet Jesus I commend my last." Forty years later, I'm still not 100% certain what this prayer even means, but it seemed,even at a young age, like a repetitive, macabre reminder that we little children were an hour closer to dying: so, third grader, you better get your affairs with the Man in order.
I've met a lot of people over the years who attended Catholic elementary school, but no other "hour blessers."

Oh, my gosh. When I saw the header for this with the lyric from "Queen of the May" the whole tune leaped into my head. I had twelve years with the Dominican sisters; first through eighth grades with the Adrian Dominicans and high school with the Springfield Dominicans. I attended St. Joseph Grade school in Homewood, Il and Marian Catholic High School in Chicago Heights from 1958-1970. I agree with you, Roger, regarding their excellence as educators. However, there were also a few enforcers, especialy amongst the Adrian clan. In those days, I attributed their strict approach to discipline as a direct result of the severely starched clothing they wore. Particularly the black and white veil which left an imbedded crease across their foreheads, just above their eyebrows. We all could see those creases when these women would occasionally pry up the bottom of their headdresses to provide a moment of relief. I too was branded a smart aleck for asking questions. I do remember wondering about pre-Columbian American Indians who died having never heard of Jesus. I understood they went to Limbo. It still seemed unfair, because Limbo was basically a waiting room, much like Purgatory. In Limbo, though, your ticket was punched eventually for Hell while Purgatory was a washing-up place for Heaven. Thanks for these memories.

Wonderful stuff, Mr. Ebert. Brought back memories of my own Catholic school upbringing, at Marymount Junior School. We too gathered flowers and sang to the Virgin in May. I was a member of the Legion of Mary, and our chapter met after school on Wednesdays to pray the Rosary. We took Mass across the street at St. Martin of Tours, and I remember praying under the statue of a sweet-faced and very pregnant Mary and wondering why she was so fat. The nuns at my school were likewise kind and very good teachers, and I also got an exceptionally good education there.

In fact, I felt sorry for the kids at public school, as it was well-known that parochial schools were far better academically. Sister Judith embued me in the second grade with a fierce love of reading and the written word, and Sister Lucida (my sixth grade teacher) set off my fascination with and love of science; she used to go into virtual raptures describing the workings of evolution and how it was the "beautiful mystery" of how God had set the world in motion. (That's why I've never understood the vitriolic war between science and religion that's developed in the last couple of decades - I've never felt they conflicted at all.)

Thanks for the trip down memory lane, both yours and mine.

skip mass and see:
1) Hugh Hefner: Playboy Activist and Rebel
2)Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work
skip mass and rent:
3) "Rudy" (1993) true story of a challenged man gaining acceptance into catholic schools to fulfill his dreams of playing football for (Notre Dame). (Our Lady)

I went to both public and Catholic schools as a child during this time,My experiences were not quite as happy as Roger's,but,generally, I did feel cared about, I also learned the values of humility and caring for others. My Catholic high school teachers were the most ardent,intelligent feminists I have ever met and very ahead of their time. And what's up with the vision thing? I did not see well until 6th grade.

Even before the following sentence, the line about radiation treatment gave me chills. Was the whole piece written around that one revelation? It works brilliantly if it was, reminds me of the opening 20 minutes of Inglorious Bastards which act as a very long form introduction. Not to the world of the movie, not to the style of Tarantino, not even to "the Jew Hunter" but rather to the girl hiding underneath the floor boards.

Another wonderful essay. You're always a pleasure to read, Ebert. Thank you.

--Hunter

This brings back wonderful memories. I cherish my Catholic school days and credit the wonderful nuns and lay teachers for laying the foundation for my love of learning. It's never left me. I also thank them for giving me a faith that love and that is my identity. I am very proud to be a Catholic.

Bill Hays on August 9, 2010 9:03 PM said:

But there are plenty of people who went to Catholic school here. I'm anxious to hear their reports on how they figured out that the Seven Days of Creation in Genesis weren't meant to be taken literally.

Hello Mr. Hays,

I attended Catholic school from kindergarten until I graduated from high school. Not one instructor, once we were old enough to know about it, ever said they believed in a literal Genesis. We were taught evolution and science as it should be.

I can't suggest how they themselves reconciled this discrepancy, except maybe that it didn't carry the same weight as it did with the strident born-again types. As a matter of fact, in high school, Catholic teachings were thoroughly modernized and adapted into philosophical tenets as opposed to an archaic, dogmatic approach.

Anyone who perceives an ancient text written by man to be inerrant or infallible is either uneducated or looking for trouble.

Going back at least to St. Augustine, it was understood that the days of creation were not meant literally. St. Augustine himself made the reasonable point that until the sun is created (on the fourth day), the concept of day and night would have no meaning. Days was understood to be some unmeasured length of time.

Ebert: St. Augustine (354 – 430) settled this for once and all for most Christians. Today's "fundamentalists" are actually recent radical heretics.

A Catholic education seems to have been a nearly universal experience for members of that faith across the entire United States over a period of several generations, mostly during the 20th century. I'm not certain when this common experience precisely got its start, but I understand it was instituted to ensure that the great masses of Catholic immigrants did not wander too far from "holy mother the church" when many received a formal education for the very first time in their family history. Otherwise they would have attended public schools and been led into the temptation of non-Catholic or even anti-Catholic ideas. I think Catholic schools proliferated at the same time public schools and compulsory universal education did during the late 19th century. Before that time, education was strictly for the elites of any religion.

There was a large, well-educated, cheaply-paid labor pool in the form of priests, brothers and nuns to teach in these newly American Catholic schools, and the faithful made significant Sunday contributions for the construction of the necessary infrastructure--churches, rectories, convents and school buildings. Those vows of poverty, chastity and obedience made a lot of things economically feasible that are just no longer so. As I recall, my monthly tuition circa 1950 was approximately $1 per month, which I dutifully turned in to the nun in a special brown envelope which she initialed and returned to my parents for the next month's payment. I think the amount may have gradually increased to about $1.50 or $1.75 by the time I graduated later in the decade. We didn't have to pay for books, they were lent out to us.

So, primary Catholic school education for me and my two siblings was basically free, as long as one's parents were registered members of the parish. As such, they were expected to make Sunday offerings to the parish in little official envelopes, but that could be any amount one chose, including nothing. The parish routinely put on lots of social events like carnivals, bizaars, bingos, bake sales and similar draws--usually several times every week--which apparently brought in enough money to keep all their operations funded, and probably enough to skim off the top. My dad always joked that the "C.R." for "Congregation of the Resurrection" (the order of priests) really stood for "Church Robbers." Some of them drove really nice cars in spite of that vow of poverty and they always had enough for liquor and cigarettes--LOL. Some of the best high stakes poker players in the Fathers' Club.

I've never had my own kids, and, since I'm in retirement, I'm not about to now. However, I have heard from many friends and colleagues with kids that the price of a Catholic elementary education is now several thousand dollars per year, not just a token 10 bucks as it was for us in the 40's and 50's. They say that Catholic high school can run $7-8,000 per year, rather than the $300 we paid. Enrollments at Catholic schools are reportedly way down (understandably, especially since the minorities who now inhabit inner city Chicago are relatively less well off economically than were our white ethnic working class parents) and they are being closed or consolidated at a prodigious rate.

The common Catholic school experience of your childhood, Roger, and that of your innumerable readers is apparently drawing to a close, most probably because, without the religious workers, it has become unaffordable under modern economic conditions. It was an artifact of an era when a substantial number of people were willing to devote their entire lives and all their labors to strictly altruistic purposes. We'll never see that again, not in this country. My old Catholic high school (Weber H.S.) finally closed its doors for good in 1997, approximately 100 years from its founding in 1890. I guess that time frame fairly well delineates the run of Catholic school education as a major social force in this country--pretty much the 20th century. Now it's essentially over except for a dwindling few with the necessary financial resources. Now it's for the fortunate sons and daughters with parents in well-compensated professions rather than all the riff-raff of blue-collar workers and temps without benefits. That said, it's hard to cast blame on others for not volunteering to educate your kids for free in a totally mercenary society like the modern United States. We can look back, but life goes on under constantly evolving rules.

"What amazes me is how young our nuns were."

I know what you mean. Have you heard of these Dominicans - http://nashvilledominican.org/Home ? Incredibly young!

Thanks for the memories. I feel that the advantage I gained from 1st and 2nd grade in Catholic school are, to this day, an important part of my success and happiness. Your mention of radiation treatment as a child being the cause of your sickness was chilling. Incidentally, I looked into Catholic School for my son in Northwestern Indiana, and was distraught to find out that Nuns longer teach. The Principal told me she took the students to the Gary Diocese for an event and got to see Nuns for the first time, which was quite curiosity to them. I find that very sad. My Mother told me she thinks the Catholic Church no longer uses Nun teachers because the parents did not like them speaking out against divorce, and got rid of them.

Oh, and by the way, regarding all the people who think Creationism is silly: I see no problem with believing in Science and Creation. I know God is the great Scientist. However, I do not argue with anyone about that. Someday, I will see you in Heaven. Then I will say, "Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! I told you so!" All right, I won't. But I will be very tempted. Then if you want, we can fly up into the stars, sing some scat with Satchmo, or slide and swim with some otters, or hang out in a black hole for a million years or so, and figure out how that works. See ya!

Ebert: Fly me to the moon, and let us play among the stars. Lets's go see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.

Roger - I just loved this article. I went to grammar school in the 60's at St. Ethelreda in Beverly and remember the tuition was $2/month per child...can you believe that? I had completely forgotten about the Society for the Propagation of the Faith - how could I have forgotten about those dimes! I also remember my mom giving each of us a quarter on Sunday to put in our collection envelope. My mom was raised Lutheran, and frequently rolled her eyes and the Catholic dogma. Although she converted to Catholicism, my parents were the first (what they called at the time) "mixed marriage" at St. Columbanus...very controversial. :) My sisters and I called our cousins "publics" and they were older than we were and thought that was hilarious. Although I'm bummed you are going to limit youre reviews, I'm looking forward to the memoirs. You're always a good read. I read all your reviews, but I especially look forward to your reviews on "bad" movies...your clever prose never disappoints. Hope you and your family are well. Now I'm off to go diagram some sentences.

Roger,
I too went to 'Notre Dame Camp for Boys' on Bankson Lake in Lawton Michigan. It is still a camp and retreat center though now owned by another religious group. Starting in the late 40s, I went there with six or eight other buddies from the south side of Chicago. I went 6 summers, the first 4 as a camper (two camp periods each, total 4 weeks)and the last two summers for 8 weeks each as a paid kitchen boy. The PAY was our room and food, free swimming and then at the end a beautiful missal for mass from Brother Pedro our boss--which I still have. A few years later, half the kids I knew from camp I met at the U. of Notre Dame as they enrolled there too with me. The Holy Cross Brothers ran the camp to provide a vacation experience for boys (and probably to recruit for Notre Dame). We learned to play ball, team work, how to swim across the 1/2 mile wide lake, hunt frogs and cook froglegs, first aid and water safety, and how to go on long hikes and of course crafts. An incredible experience.
I think you were there one year with Jimmy Donnelly and my brother Tom Keeley.
As to my grade school experience, mine at St. Felicitas at 83rd Place just off (west of) Stony Island was word for word yours too, only we had the IHM sisters from Monroe Mi, a group of happy, hilarious, prayerful, hardworking, no non-sense and loving saints who taught us everything we needed to know for high school and beyond. This included reading, math and writing. My 8th grade class had 60 of us all in one room with Sr. Anthonita. Our motto for our 50th was, "Sr. Toni, Look at us now!" We still talk about her and Sr. Josanne, our fourth and fifth grade teacher and what great persons they were for us. Both were geniuses as teachers.

Ebert: We may have been there together. Do you remember Brother Eliot, the macho ex-Marine type?

"I suppose in another sense I was being a little asshole. That pattern has persisted."

hahahaha

Thanks for the great story. We are not Catholics ourselves, but we do send our son to Catholic school, for the same reasons you elaborate. At school, our son is loved, respected, and held to high standards socially, academically, and morally. Our school was built in the 1950's, and it still maintains that "old-school" vibe. Our son is receiving a "first-rate" education.... and has impeccable cursive hand-writing .

Fantastic column! You could have been describing my experience of nine years at St. Matthews School in California. But Roger, the Sisters would give you a demerit for saying that the Assumption is on May 1. The date is August 15 and it's a Holy Day of Obligation!

Thanks so much for putting in the words of "Oh Mary we crown thee," the most solemn moment in the May Procession. This and other rituals were wonderful parts of my childhood.

There are over 150 million websites on the internet. Of these, I have only 4 or 5 hyperlinks saved in my bookmarks. Roger's is one of them. An interesting and amusing read as always!

The sisters at my grammar school, St.Matthew's in Long Beach, CA, managed to maintain discipline and impart the basics during the Second World War while new military and war-works families poured into the area. At its peak, my class contained 75 pupils. At the end of the war, we moved to San Francisco, where my 7th and 8th grade classes at St. Emydius School contained only 50 pupils. That was very manageable, at least by the strict nuns. I ponder the current protests about public-school classes as large as 30 pupils, but of course, today's teachers don't get the same respect as the nuns did.

These are insane arguments. They’re so stupid, no words exist in the English language to describe this kind of stupidity. Kain’s arguments are fundamental dishonest because he focuses on minutia and totally ignores the fundamental glaring fact, the giant elephant in the room that Krugman keeps hammering away at: 30 years of supply-side insanity have bankrupted America to the point where we’re now cutting essential services while the rich party hearty and the Pentagon budget keeps skyrocketing and the Wall Street sharks keep getting richer and the medical-industrial complex keeps jacking up medical costs

Thank you for sharing the story on your catholic education and Saint Dominic Savio. I was having a difficult day and this brightened my spirit.

21 Aug 2010 A.D.

What a Beautiful Nostalgic-Article on your Catholic Grammer School Education -- BRAVO !

I am also a product of Catholic Grammar & High School -- Pre-Ecumenical -- DEO GRATIAS !

Though into my Golden Years -- I still have a FAIR Knowledge of: the X and ./. math tables; the spelling demons; the auxiliary verbs; diagramming the various sentences -- my favorite being -- the Compound-Complex Sentence.

Again, many thanks for Your Memoirs !

(PS) read your review of -- The Red Machine -- fascinating -- a Must-See for LOU.

Alas! said film is NOT being shown in NYC.let alone the NYC Metropolitan Area AND nor is it scheduled for future release.

I guess i'll have to wait fot the DVD release -- if and when !

I had a fantastic Catholic education also, via dedicated and mostly kind nuns (1962-1969). From first through seventh grade, the school I attended (with Dominicans) was the center of my universe. We attended Mass every morning. However, fifth grade began my disenchantment with the Church. They wouldn't let me train to be an altar boy (girl). I could not understand why not, when the "bad" boys with poor grades could!
After my seventh grade year, our school closed. I remember we had 19 students in our class, and about the same in each of the other grades. When I went to a public junior high my eighth grade year, I was light-years ahead of the other kids, and the classes seemed very easy. However, I certainly learned a LOT of other stuff that I hadn't known existed: for instance, all those new words on the bathroom walls!

One more thing. I don't recognize the May Procession song words you quoted. We always sang:

On this day, O beautiful Mother
On this day, we give thee our love.
Near thee, Madonna, fondly we hover,
(I've forgotten the last line.)

On this day we ask to share, dearest Mother,
Thy sweet care. (?)
On this day, O beautiful Mother,
On this day, we give thee our love.

They always picked the tiniest girls to be "the one."

Mr. Ebert... I, too, had a Catholic school education, and it was the best thing to influence my life. I recall one nun telling us that the way we dressed was a reflection on how we felt about our work. Therefore, we should always dress professionally and neatly. To this day, I can't bring myself to wear jeans or other common attire to the office. Although I no longer consider myself Catholic (the birth control and pedophilia thing turned me away), I still value the self-discipline, the work ethic, the desire for quality, and the other values that the nuns taught us. I'm continually amazed by people who tell me the nuns were strict and mean. That was not at all my experience. Like you, I recall them as fun, friendly, and devoted to all of us.

Can you believe that I still can sing all those Latin and Gregorian hymns, including that interminably long Credo? And it's been nearly 50 years since I graduated from St John's Catholic Academy in Syracuse NY.

Thank you! You described my own experience and my own memories. The nuns were wonderful people. By the time my own daughter got around to first grade we found an old-style Catholic school for her to go to, but by then there just weren't that many nuns. It just wasn't the same.

Speaking as a linguist I'm sorry to inform you that you actually probably never really diagrammed a sentence correctly.

Ebert: Just as I've always suspected.

First, thank you, Mr. Ebert, for the fine reminiscence.

Second, thanks also to those commenters who managed to add to the discussion rather than rant in favor of or against this religion or that political cause (a surprisingly large share as it turned out, considering that this is after all the Internet). I have enjoyed perusing the thread.

Third, there is a movie-related point that jumped out at me, from the comment of Gerardo way upthread:

"...I'm guessing that was because of Vatican II which meant those elaborate sister habits were long gone by then (even though Hollywood seems to believe them to be the norm up until today)."

Much of Hollywood surely knows differently...yet it serves them better to pretend they don't know. The symbolic and artistic power of these things--habits, Latin, confession boxes, grand Gothic churches stuffed with statuary--is immediately evident to them and thus are regularly used.

Whereas inside the Church, the force and beauty of these things either went unappreciated, or were consciously rejected in the post-Conciliar upheaval. And so partly due to neglect, and partly due to iconoclastic revolt, so much of the world many of you knew in Catholic school--the good and the bad of it--was at once wantonly smashed to bits and absentmindedly allowed to pass away.

It's a strange and sad story that is hardly confined to Catholicism. To take one tiny example, the Second Vatican Council roughly coincided with the demolition of New York's Beaux-Arts Penn Station and its replacement with the current Madison Square Garden and Penn Plaza.

I believe that post-war Western civilization--confronted as it was by a pressing need for reform and renewal on many fronts--displayed a genius for throwing out the baby with the bathwater so towering that it may never be surpassed.

Roger,

I followed you by five years at St. Mary's, served Mass with you at St. Pat's and my dad is buried next to your folks in the consecrated Catholic section of Woodlawn Cemetery. Your blog brought a flood of memories. My four kids (like us, UHS and U of I grads) don't believe my stories about life at SMS. You have corroborated them -- and more!

The school didn't have a telephone until 1961 -- and then it was a pay phone in the basement between the lunchroom and gym (no doubt a safety measure after Chicago's tragic Our Lady of the Angels fire). Prior to that, if anyone had to contact the school during the school day, they called the convent. The elderly housekeeper, Sr. Malachy would ring a big school bell and a boy would be sent over from the fourth grade classroom (the closest to the convent) to relay the message.

Every classroom's cloakroom had a bag of sawdust. If one of our classmates became ill (from the chipped beef on toast?) and threw up, a 7th or 8th grade boy would be summoned to spread the sawdust and sweep up the mess. Nosebleeds were treated with a dampened paper towel from the lavatory (boys on the 2nd floor, girls on the 3rd.) No latex gloves. No biohazard disposal.

My favorite memory was the "honor" of being asked to turn on the steam to the radiators in the normally unheated Wagner Hall auditorium. If an assembly, play practice, visit by the gentleman from the Curtis Publishing Company, or a visiting missionary were scheduled, an 8th grade boy was dispatched to the basement boiler room to open the main steam valve on top of one of the boilers. This involved climbing up a very hot-to-the-touch steel ladder (no safety harness) to a narrow catwalk that spanned the two enormous oil-fired boilers. Atop the farthest boiler was an even hotter valve wheel the size of a 1950 Chevy steering wheel. As it was slowly opened, one could feel the rumble from the boiler below and the hiss of steam escaping from the packing on the valve stem. OHSA would have had a field day with that.

Despite the privations and union-busting duties performed by child labor, we received a first rate education. I bet few of our contemporaries can recall their elementary teachers in sequential order - Sr. Columban, Sr. Marie Donald, Sr. Dominice, Mrs. Miller, Mrs. Foster, Sr. Nathan, Sr. DeMonfort, Sr. Robert, not to mention our choir director/piano teacher Sr. Armella and principal Sr. Roseanne.

For some, Dies Irae was the day every six weeks when the ancient pastor, Fr. Hogbin (real name) would come to the classroom to personally deliver report cards. Do you remember going over to the church as a class to pray for the repose of his soul as he lay in state vested in his purple vestments? That was pretty macabre.

Keep telling the stories.

Ebert: Joe, your memories are wonderful.

Yes, Fr. Hogbin! An august figure. In my day Sister Gilberta was principal, but I'm not at all surprised that Sister Roseanne took the position.

As I think about the boiler room (which opened onto the playground), I recall a janitor, not kids climbing ladders. But your mmory is so good...

Mmmmm.... how times change hey? I have no way of comprehending this kind of education and therefore it was almost like watching a documentary. Really Brechtian and completely devoid of cathartic response.... interesting

Like Joe I recall all my sisters who taught when I attended SMS. What memories! With another school year underway, I recall what big fans the sisters were of baseball and the World Series. We looked forward to the days when students could bring a radio or two to class so we could cheer on our favorite team. The nuns were leading the cheering!

Roger: Regarding the janitor, I don't think he was physically capable of climbing the ladder on the boiler. He did, however, provide a can of Prince Albert tobacco and some cigarette rolling papers to some of us 8th grade boys. Perhaps we volunteered for some of his more taxing duties.

One other favorite memory was the annual Christmas pageant in the auditorium. By the 50s, the only backdrop for the stage was one that looked like the Palace of Versailles with French doors opening onto a formal garden. It was always a stretch to see the 1st grade production of the story of the Nativity staged in such a formal setting. "And there were in the same country, shepherds... "

One of the funniest was the day one of the 4th graders put his head between the wrought iron railing on the back steps of the church and got stuck. Mr. Foster, an Urbana postman and husband of 5th grade teacher Thelma Foster came to the rescue with a car jack by spreading the rails apart to free the kid.

Florence (above): Your sister, Meg, was one of my classmates. I hope you both are coming to the reunion next month.

Roger,
I thought you'd appreciate this in light of your May queen column. I don't intend for you to publish it necessarily; seems a little silly, but it was accurate as I remember.
I also will be heading down to C-U for a St. Mary's reunion - the first ever I think - next week. I'll let you know who showed up.
I also thought you should know that each time I'm in Urbana, I stop by your mom's grave - it's right in front of my mom's, Alice Dunn - and I remember what good friends they were on the Altar and Rosary society. Such good women and how missed they are.
I so enjoy these Urbana columns; your memory is amazing. I wrote something about St. Mary's too, especially the food, so if I find it, I'll send it along.
Gaye
(I think my sister, Diane, might have been a couple of years behind you. My brother Gene was at St. Mary's some years ahead of you.)

May Queen

As I stood in the back of the church, the smell of peonies was sweet and intoxicating. It was a beautiful sunny day in May and I was - for this one moment in time - a queen.
I was always tall for my age and felt out of place around my classmates. The giraffe in the middle of the picture is how I saw myself. In second grade, along with learning how to write cursive and memorizing the Baltimore catechism, there was one really cool thing a girl could do and that was to carry the train of the May Queen.
Each year, one 8th grade girl was selected from her class to crown the Virgin Mary during a celebration at our church. She was always the prettiest, most popular girl in her class, or that’s how I saw it. But it was the way she looked as she strode down the aisle that had every girl envious. Crowned by a tiara of pearls, she wore a pristine white dress and was wrapped in a blue satin robe. The shimmering train was carried by six, second grade girls. Well, it was the closest thing to a movie star our school had.
That year as May rolled around, all the second grade girls were anxious about who would be selected to carry the train. No giraffe had ever been picked, so I thought my chances were pretty slim. Against the odds though, Sister Regia called out my name. As the day approached, we stood with our hands twined in the loops of the train, clad in our own pretty white dresses as we marched behind our “queen”, Connie Conerty. It was a glorious day for me and one I didn’t forget.
Six years later, I had grown into an overweight, gawky - still tall - adolescent. I had not aged well to be sure. I was not the popular girl, not the smartest girl, not the sought after girl, just a girl trying not to be noticed for all her awkwardness. But it was coming up on May and the time to do the annual queen selection. The honor had not lost its luster in the intervening years, and the chances for me were still slim. I told my friends that I knew who had been picked, because I wanted to be “in the know”. Since my mom was a honcho on the church’s Altar and Rosary Society the kids thought I might actually know something. They begged me to tell them, but of course, since I didn’t know who it really was, I kept my silence.
Later that day, as we sat in English class, Father McGrogan walked in to announce the May court. I looked smugly around, faking a smile that I had the goods on who it was going to be. First he announced the two princesses: Diana Gordon and Nancy Gullion – two of the most unlikely girls to ever get that close to May Queen. The tension in the room built as we waited for the big one. Father paused… then announced my name! I don’t think I even heard him at first. I was in some sort of white space between earth and some altered reality. Everything seemed fuzzy and surreal. Kids looked around at me from their seats and I saw nothing, heard nothing, except the buzz of my own voice in a continual loop in my head, “You’re the May Queen; ohmygod, you’re the May Queen”. Once I landed back on earth, everyone thought I’d known all along, but the truth was I had known nothing. No giraffe had ever been queen.
On that bright May day a few weeks later, I stood in the back of the church, still a geeky teen, attempting to quiet her heart and be regal. And for the first time I thought to myself, maybe I could be more than I thought I was. So I decided to breathe in the moment; memorize it - to replay in days ahead when I’d doubt again who I was. And I saw, for the first time in my life, that I could be anything if I had a big enough desire and a strong enough hope.
That moment in the back of the church began the rest of my life. I’ve thought of it through the years and know that the person I was to become started right there with the smell of peonies in the air and a blue satin cape draped over my shoulders.

I must admit that I did not read all the posts but wanted to comment on Catholic Education since I am a retired educator who not only attended Catholic schools but also taught in one. I attended Catholic grade school where my experiences were the same as everyone. The nuns were strict and I once had a blackboard eraser thrown at my head when I was facing the person behind me. That nun had perfect aim! I also had to write my times tables for one hour during lunch for an entire week for getting caught breaking a "rule". That is perhaps what started the path to becoming a mathematics major in college. I attended public high school since there was no Catholic high school in our small town. I went on to attend a Catholic all girls College in the 60's and absolutely received the best education available. The nuns were demanding academically and taught us to believe we could accomplish anything we believed we could do. Because of that education I had an extrememly successful career in both education and other mathematical fields. I taught in an all girl's Catholic high school from 1983 through 1996. The education provided for these girls was outstanding. There were not many nuns but the religious atmosphere guided our students. It amazes me that all the graduating classes have stayed so close over the years. My teaching experience consisted of 15 years in Catholic school and 17 years in public school. Although I always loved my teaching experience in public school there is no comparison to the education of Catholic school. Not only do students get the best of the academic education but they have their faith and moral training that makes them a complete person.