Scroll down for my earlier entries.
The first five Sundance entries I've seen are the kinds of film the festival exists to showcase. It is possible that many of them won't ever open in most of the places you readers live, but you've impressed me with your resourcefulness in finding them anyway (and no, I don't mean piracy). You guys demonstrate that if you want to find a movie badly enough, you often can.
One of them, "Homewrecker," is for rent right now via YouTube, in keeping with the festival's Reinvention/Rebirth/Renewal and its embrace of new distribution channels such as the net and regional art cinemas.
That one and "Armless" are playing in the new Sundance section named NEXT, which specializes in movies with "low to no budgets." The guidelines specify budgets below $500,000, and both of these look closer to half a million than to "no."
The 2010 Sundance web site is much expanded and improved,The one I've seen that could play your town is Nicole Holofcener's "Please Give," opening April 23. This is another of her lovingly observant studies in human nature, with women as usual in the foreground. Her focus is often the affluent--not the rich rich, but prospering urban professionals. Her heroine here, Kate (the peerless Catherine Keener), runs a mid-range "antique" furniture store, with a stock acquired largely from the children of aged widows. If the kids don't know that mom's old dining room table will sell for $5,000, that's their fault."White Plastic Flower" by Jamie Stuart, a wonderful short
Mary's husband and business partner is Alex (Oliver Platt). They speak the same language. Their unhappy 15-year-old daughter Abby (Sarah Steele) is pudgy and spotty and smart, but not smart enough to deal with adolescence, as who is? They live next door to a 91-year-old woman named Andra (Ann Morgan Guilbert, herself only 81), and have an option to buy her apartment.They're eager for her to die so they can break down some walls, but in guilt invite her and her granddaughters Mary and Rebecca (Amanda Peet and Rebecca Hall) to dinner. Andra is a hostile, whiny, perpetually wronged full-time victim. Mary is like her grandma. Rebecca is more like Kate. From these beginnings and an urban facial and tanning spa Holofcener creates a funny and not uncritical comedy.
"Armless," by the Pennsylvania filmmaker Habib Azar, is well and memorably titled. (It's not one of those titles like "Extraordinary Measures" you can hardly link to a film). It stars the sad-faced Daniel London as John, a man who desperately wants to have his arms amputated. There are such people. On the internet they are mostly known as "amputee wannabes," and not, thank God, "amputee done-its." In a chat room he finds the name of a doctor (Matt Walton), who reportedly will perform the illegal operation. Leaving a farewell message to his wife (Janel Moloney), he goes to New York to find happiness.Whether the doctor will perform the operation I leave to you, and John, to discover. Why he has such a low-rent office may be explained by the budgets of NEXT category; his receptionist (Zoe Lister Jones) barely has enough room on her desk for the magazine she won't look up from. Why John wants to be armless is explained by the usual psychobabble ("I am an armed man with an armless man trapped inside.") It's not a wonder his film didn't find studio financing; the screening was attended by what looked like busload of Azar's backers, wearing matching red snow jackets and stocking caps, "who all invested a couple of hundred." I would say they got more than their money's worth. Based on the play by Kyle Jarrow; not a comedy only for wannabes.
"Homewrecker," by the brothers Brad and Todd Barnes, is a comedy about two flywheels who meet through a New York locksmith service. Anslem Richardson plays Mike, the nicest, most honest and sincere ex-com you'd ever want to meet. He's sent on a lock picking call from Margo (Ana Reeder), and doesn't suspect she wants to break into her boyfriend's apartment. Margo is a piece of work. In an inspired performance, Reeder gives us a cute, comely, terminally ditzy basket of insecurity, who involves the Mike in a series of adventures that are both unlikely and sort of inevitable.The funniest scene comes after Margo convinces Mike to walk into an art district bistro, sit next to her boyfriend Charles (Stephen Rannazzisi), chat him up, and find out if he's also dating another woman. This Mike very reluctantly does (he finds it impossible to out talk Margo). His conversation with Charles is all the funnier because, if you agree it could take place at all, probably sounds more or less than the real thing would. The film's flaw, not fatal, is that Mike is too trusting. Perhaps anyone who gets involved with Margo is by definition too trusting.
"The Shock Doctrine," a documentary directed by Mat Whitecross and Michael Winterbottom, illustrates Naomi Klein's belief that most of the economic problems and foreign policy disasters by the United States in several recent decades were the fault of the bizarre theories of the University of Chicago's famed economist Milton Friedman and his worshippers, universally known as "the Chicago Boys." These fanatics for heartless corporate capitalism include Donald Rumsfeld, who actually wanted to privatize the U.S. military. To Fiedman's acolytes can be traced military coups in Chile and Argentina, Britain's Falkland war, our invasion of Iraq, the stock market collapse and other evils. His principles have led to CEOs making obscenely inflated amounts of money, the deregulation of banks and, in short, the destruction of all that ordinary decent people would like to believe about the economy. Two of his followers, for example, looted the Chicago Sun-Times, and one of them insists he did nothing wrong.This is according to Naomi Klein, except the Sun-Times part, which is mine. We see her giving a series of lectures, which the film illustrates with unsorted and sometimes not very clear newsreel footage. Surely there is a counterargument, but "The Shock Doctrine" isn't interested. The smart viewer will sample this film cafeteria style. Her indictment of Milton Friedman strikes me, however, as plausible and largely true. The category of Chicago Boys includes the Reagan and Bush Administrations, and apparently a majority of the Supreme Court as it voted to give corporations, even foreign corporations, unlimited freedom to spend their stockholder's money on influencing U.S. elections.
The festival's opening film was "Howl," a Sundance institute baby, part documentary, part dramatic, part animated, directed by Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman. The film's focus is on the landmark 1955 poem by Allen Ginsberg, which became the anthem of the beat Generation. ("I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked..."). The film was an opening salvo in a new openness about homosexuality, drugs and social rebellion, written by a socially insecure poet. It was the first of many famous books published by Lawrence Ferlinghetti and his City Lights Bookstore in San Francisco, and is still his best-seller.The film stars James Franco as a naive, very young Ginsberg (he admits to delaying publication because "I didn't want my daddy to read it"). Todd Rotondi plays the iconic Jack Kerouac, Jon Prescott is the charismatic Neal Cassidy, Aaron Tveit plays Ginsberg's partner for life Peter Orlovsky. Much of the film involves performance of dialog from the "Howl" obscenity trial, with Andrew Rogers as an unspeaking Ferlinghetti, Treat Williams as an expert defense witness, Jeff Daniels testifying for the prosecution, and David Straithairn solemn as Ginsberg's defense attorney.
I found "Howl" intensely interesting for its subject matter and treatment if the poem, but wonder why it holds back from dramatic effects. It's rather flat, objective, dispassionate. Trial scenes are ideal for drama, but these seem more like transcripts. Still, the recreation of the times and milieu feels exact.
Three more movies later today. It's like trying to see a years worth of films in a week.
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Movies, videos, stills, schedues and filmmaker interviews at the Sundance web site.
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about the darker side of Sundance.
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Below: Entries for Jan. 22 and 21:
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There's something I left out of my first post from Sundance. I thought it might come across wrong. Something else happened at the press conference with Robert Redford and John Cooper that meant a great deal to me. After the event was over and everybody was standing up in the aisle and pulling on their goose down jackets, I looked up and saw Redford making his way through the crowd. He wanted to say hello to me.
He said he wanted to welcome me back to Sundance after the three years I missed. "You were here at the start," he said. "You've always been a help to us." Well, it's true. But in fact the story says more about Redford than it does about me.
I was here when Sundance was known as the U.S. Film and Video Festival. It's not
remembered that there was actually some resentment when Redford reinvented the festival. In opening that first Sundance, he said he was an independent, too.That inspired some raised eyebrows. Redford had for years been one of the biggest movie stars in the world. Yes, he had the "independent spirit" in the films he directed. But he didn't have indie budgets.
So what did he do? He put his money where his mouth was, and in the first five years I believe it was very much his own money. His instinct was to embrace the indie community, not move away from it. You didn't see him inviting all his famous friends to town. You never heard about him throwing some fabulous private party that hardly anyone got invited to. In fact, you never heard about a single Redford party at all, except for his annual Filmmaker's Brunch at the Sundance Resort. He wasn't Big Foot. He moved around town almost by stealth. He wasn't always there on stage introducing visiting stars and filmmakers and posing for photos with them. People perhaps don't reflect on how many things Redford doesn't do here.What he had already done five years earlier was found the Sundance Institute, a hands-on program linking young indie filmmakers with mentors. It had screenplay, acting, directing and producing workshops. It helped the funding for some projects. Have you ever really looked at the films the Institute was instrumental in making happen?
At the dawn of his career, Robert Redford had been a struggling unknown with no connections. But it was a brief dawn before a long day. He was very big. What could he do about that? He put his image and power at work for something worth doing. He did the same thing for environmental issues. He was an admirable man.Even to this day, some people take him too much for granted. They're blinded by *Robert Redford* He has never been that kind of star. He has exhibited that most rare attribute of movie stars, modesty.
The festival opened this year with a film developed at the Sundance Institute, "Howl," about Allen Ginsberg, his famous poem, and the obscenity trial it inspired. In his opening night remarks, Redford mentioned looking for jazz one night in San Francisco, and stumbling by accident into the City Lights Bookstore, where there was a poetry reading by such Beats as Ginsberg, Gary Snider and Lawrence Ferlinghetti. This would have been before the Beat Generation made the cover of Life magazine.
John Cooper, the festival director, followed Redford onstage, and noted he'd neglected to say he took the bus to San Francisco on that occasion. He would have been a teenager. He was living at home in Santa Monica. That tells me all I need to know about a curious young man open to new possibilities. I believe that Redford, and not the famous Redford, who founded the Institute and made this festival happen.
As this 20th year of Sundance opens, let it be said: Robert Redford has done more for indie films than any other human being.
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The web site of the Sundance Institute.
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Note: Instead of posting a different blog entry every day from Sundance, I will update this one from the top. Older posts will be pushed down. Newer videos will likewise push older ones down. The headline will change. There will be one comment thread. I think it makes more sense that way.
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Posted Thursday, January 22:
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For an instant I dreamed that the 2010 Sundance Film Festival had been dedicated to me. The cover of the official program book displayed only two letters in red on black: RE These were not, however, my initials, but the theme of the festival.
Reborn. Rebellion. Rebirth. Rebel. Renewed. Rebooted. Redford. All the re words. The screen before every film informs us: This is the recharged fight against the establishment of the expected. This is the rebirth of the battle for brave new ideas.
I got the feeling at his Thursday press conference that Robert Redford, the festival's founder, became fed up with the reimaging of the festival as a sort of yuppie tech-head geek consumerist trade show and party animal convention. The bloggers had taken to writing more about swag bags than auteurs.
The Ambush Marketers, Redford called them. The corporations eager to trade on the Sundance image to promote their booze, sunglasses, cell phones, fashions and gizmos. "They took over half of Main Street with their stores," he said, "and rented every available house at 3 or 4 times the price. But now with the economy worse these people aren't coming."
Maybe even Paris Hilton won't come. She was arguably the most publicized celebrity at the festival in 2008 and 2009, although she had no discernible reason for being here. The dear girl did make a real wardrobe statement, however, especially with her Snow Bunny outfit. In a succinct statement that should be displayed as a watermark across her photos, Redford said, "Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with anything."
Redford and the new festival director John Cooper, who has taken over from Geoff Gilmore, talked about returning to the festival's roots as a haven for indie films. They're also open to new media distribution and have added a special section of films costing less than $500,000, sometimes a lot less. There's speculation in the indie community at large that self-distribution may be the way to go, with a reliance on the possibilities of the internet. As one of the audience questions pointed out, 2009 set a new record in total box office, and was also year of continued declines in indie fortunes.Cooper talked of two new notions this year: A partnership with YouTube to make five 2010 festival films available as Video on Demand, and a showcase for Sundance titles at leading art theaters around the country (in Chicago, the Music Box). The Sundance Selects VOD continues to expand. What this means, essentially, is that Sundance itself has gone into the distribution business in partnership with filmmakers. Makes sense. The Sundance name is a valuable trademark. Makes VOD customers feel cool.
One figure that was dropped at the press conference was sort of amazing: This year's festival has 1,600 volunteers. They come from all over. They are invariably friendly and helpful, as film festival volunteers almost invariably are. But 1,600? I wonder if the total audience was that large in the first years. I've been coming to Park City since before the festival's roots. I was on the jury when this was called the U.S. Film and Video Festival, and it was small enough that the Awards Banquet was held in a meeting room of the Holiday Inn. It was only vaguely defined and not prospering when Redford stepped in and took it over.
Its positioning in January is interesting. Toronto, in September, is ideally positioned for Oscar contenders. Sundance happens between the Golden Globes and the Oscars and has little to do with either, although sometimes a film launched here will climb to glory, as "Precious" did last year. It's like Fashion Week for the new year's indie releases. Increasingly, the festival has embraced documentaries and foreign films. It even has its own store front on Main Street that's friendly to little, little, little films, like you might make on your iPhone.When you're here it's easy to lose sight of the real world of "Avatar" and "Sherlock Holmes." The town is jammed. The screenings are packed. The Park Record observes that parking has become as hard to find as tickets. It's said that financing has dried up. That audiences don't hunger for intelligent films. And yet all these films got made. They will all get seen. The word will go forth from this time and place that some of them were wonderful. And in all but a few cases, the market won't care. Average American moviegoers cheerfully buy tickets to movies they expect will be junk. But confront them with something that might be great and they start looking all alarmed.
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and offers trailers of most of the films.
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RE: The Press Conference
Would like to be among the first to thank those responsible for streaming the opening Press Conference. What an incredible experience. Didn't know what to expect. Killing time messing with a(rather dumb)post, waiting for the festivities to begin. And then the countdown ends-in walks Robert Redford. Absolutely in a state of bliss an hour or so later. Felt as if I was there. One lasting impression- What a damn good guy is he.
Made some notes. The Ron Galella/ 3 Days of the Condor story was a hoot. The egalitarian feel of the event as generated by Redford and the estimable John Cooper. Have to see the documentary on the Cambodian genocide. Bet Roger passes on the 3-D tale about the Cane Frogs, especially since its 'in old school 3-D.' Independent films will always struggle, but will always survive. There are no 'sides' at Sundance. "Is it fresh, is it new, does it break new ground?" The artist's POV is the criterion-not the sides being taken-not any Festival POV. Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with us. The invasion of the swags. What exactly is a swag?(Think I get it now from your entry)
And finally Robert Redford's thoughtful remarks on how life works. 'The festival has always been meant to be fun, yet concurrent with that, we must remain aware of the ongoing tragedies in this world, keeping that in perspective is a good thing.' Amen, Mr. Redford. Now on with the show.
US must be a great place with so many people eager for the best stuff!
Ebert: We could use a few more. :)
always wanted to go, even have a friend who has a home she bought in Park City in the 1970's that I can stay at... dab smack in the middle of everything I hear... but was afraid that all of those film choices would make my head explode or worse yet, that I wouldn't be able to get any tickets.
The "RE" theme is clever enough, will it ring true I wonder?
Waaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanna go to Sundance too!
It was inevitable for Sundance to become what it is today stuck between Paris Hiltons, Entourage episodes, luxury stuff all over and great movies, key word(s) being "stuck between". And I don't see nothing wrong with that, it's a great place to be in, especially for Films and there makers. It is a much more powerful jump off platform for indie movies to succeed, to find a big audience, and I guess that's what probably all film makers want, for there movies to get a big audience, to get appreciated from as much people as possible. Sure there are some, I dont know how to call them "purists" that dont want there movies to be seen by anyone who is not able for whatever reason to appreciate them fully but I don't understand that kind of thinking, never did/never will.
Sundance is now known world wide (I'm in bloody Serbia for example) and no one can argue that that's not a good thing. Granted, what made Sundance famous are first and foremost movies that made it from there on to the great success runs but Enturage and things like that did help, and helped a lot. The important thing is to find balance between the powerful image, powerful brand that Sundance has become and the movies it shows/pushes.
If they get an extra push because people who know nothing about anything think Sundance is cool or Paris Hilton says that some movie is the greatest ever (like she did in Cannes for Inglorius Basterds and I'm ashamed to know that) so what...Whatever it takes to get some small, indie movie to Serbian cinema where it will be enjoyed by me or to some other country like that where it will find someone else who will appreciate it cant be a bad thing, can it?
So there is some good news for small films when the economy is hard. Unnecessary noises(and probably Paris Hilton) will be gone, and there will be wider accessibility this time. Good luck with Sundance, Mr. Ebert. I wish you will find something new or great again this year.
Maybe it's in the works to let Detroit, and others, watch some of Sundance, live via HD projection, right on a screen at our very own local 20-plex. Buy an all-day ticket. Watch films, events and discussions. Maybe a cam/audio link from our 20-plex back to Sundance and beyond for a little interactiion. During intermissions, walk out to a Sundance mixer in 20-plex lobby to discover and talk to some of the local Detroit film fans.
Call Starkist.
Oh, and good one about trouble parking in "Park" city.
Amen to all that! I have never been to Sundance but have been tempted as a longtime Toronto Film Festival goer. But to be honest, it HAS seemed to have become such a "scene" that I decided to avoid it.
Here in Toronto we have a winter film series once a month on Sunday mornings. It's run by TIFF and they do a surprise screening plus a moderated audience discussion afterwards. Last month's film was a lovely Bahamian movie called Rain that I missed last September at TIFF. It has yet to get a distribution deal of course.
What can we regular civilian film lovers do to promote these small films? Where can we tweet or blog or comment to drum up some interest? How can we help in the trenches?
Sounds fun. Sounds incredibly expensive. Sounds like I would prefer EbertFest. Looking forward to April...
Or, to continue discussion on your final point, they go and see challenging films and walk out bored.
Take my dad and I seeing The Road, for instance.
I walk out of the movie having a serious crisis of faith because the film presents in such stark and unrelenting terms the mindset a person might have on the world when contemplating suicide. I'm, as you were, Mr. Ebert, questioning the purpose of making this film, because the sort of parable-like detachment that comes through McCarthy's prose allows us a little safety in distance that the movie lacks.
My father walks out, and says, "eh, it was ok. It was a little long. But what I want to know is, what caused the world to be that way?"
Further discussion with him brings to light that he's aware of the more emotionally and spiritually challenging parts of the film, but that he just glosses over them. And my dad I consider, above all else, the quintessential "average American moviegoer."
As a movie-goer he doesn't shy away from "arthouse" films or more challenging emotional dramas, and there are times I'm left in slack-jawed surprise over his likes and dislikes of movies. But what I do find is that he's been trained over years and years to find attraction in the Rambo's and in the Die Hards.
What do you think it would take for people to lose their sense of alarm and start going to movies in search of greatness? A friend of mine teaches film in high school and he's told me many times that his class has no patience for any movie with deliberate pacing, no matter what the subject matter. Is it too late to change things?
As I've cited before, Isaac Asimov said that sophistication is always a minority exercise.
And Kudos to Robert for his comment about Paris Hilton, and Kudos to you for reporting on it.
I love your festival reports most of all. I'll never make it to one of these, but I'm there in spirit. Anything exciting on the schedule?
I was hoping your wife would write a Sundance blog similar to the one she wrote for Cannes a few years ago but you're back. Be careful going to the festivals. You're going to spoil us again. Yaaay!
It's nice to know that Sundance is really trying to get away from this corporate takeover. I've never been able to get to the festival, but even from simply reading about it, I get the feeling of how polluted this great event has become. Hopefully, in the next decade, we'll see a "rebirth" of independent film with more and more becoming available for the masses to see.
Is this unfinished, or is that just me thinking it should be a lot longer? Both, huh? Looking forward to it.
Great article. As always.
I wish i could be at Sundance too!
Some independent films are good, some are bad. But, here, in Romania, i'd like to see that are being made films of any kind. that the filmmakers dare to forget our communist history and start making films.
www.ohmygodimthefirstpersontocommenthere.org
By the way , I read your recent essay for the 25th hour , and I felt at ease.You put into words what I felt , and you made me happy.
Thanks dude!!!
By the way , if you haven't seen an indian film named Lagaan , you should.It is quite astonishing.
Ebert: http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20020607/REVIEWS/206070305/1023
J.C.
Have you ever really looked at the films the Institute was instrumental in making happen?
I know that Tarantino workshopped his first, Reservoir Dogs at Sundance, but honestly, that's about it. I'm eager to see one of your trainspotting commenters provide a list.
And don't downplay the importance of your own role in indie films. I can think of no other person in the world who has introduced so many viewers to so many great movies. And Great Movies, too. Herzog dedicated a movie to you (for Christ's sake!) for at least one very good reason: without you and your damn thumb, I might never have become a fanatic of his work.
I understand your meaning Roger: don't fault the man for making something worthwhile even more visible and popular. He can't control it all - it has to evolve and in this case mutate. But his heart is in the best place and when it got too icky he stepped in like any "Big Daddy" would. I think it is brave that he adapted the new theme: "RE"
Personally, I was never a Sundance hater/snob or much of a movie snob at all. My preference tends to be the independent and foreign film but I am not mouthing off to everyone about it, nor do I automatically hate everything that comes out of a big studio with a big budget. The day I make/write/direct a film or become a movie critic of note, is the day I may think my opinion is more than just that - my opinion. Otherwise, I am just grateful that movies are being made and I get to pick what I want to see. I am still bright eyed and bushy tailed when it comes to the movies.
I think more people are venturing out of the box as they realize that many indie & foreign films say something real about the human condition and though they may not have the flash and bombastic nature as some bigger films, they are hugely meaningful and can have a huge impact upon the viewer that is as exciting as a big bang. That to me is the beauty of film - the appreciation of it is like a living thing... it grows and evolves as well. I will never forget the reaction of one of my action-film-lover friends after he saw "Gran Torino":
"I need to check out more of those kinda movies - they're good. I didn't even know there was Ming hip hop!"
I said to him: "you mean: Hmong hip hop"
"Yeah, Hmong!"
LOL
I want to attend Sundance some year. As I said earlier, I even have a place to stay. I am just afraid I may not get into any of the movies or worst, never be able to decide which movie to go see - so many choices!!!
Thanks Roger. You have taught and helped us all - I have discovered movies through your reviews that I would have never known existed. And now I know how to look for them! And I seem very cool to my friends at the same time. Bonus!! This is all part of the Ebert- effect. I am sure that many of your other minions will agree.
What I am glad to see is that Redford/Sundance have taken steps to delineate film budgets. This is crucial, because the word "independent" has sadly become so muddied and commercialized as to loose much of its original meaning. And really, what does it mean to be independent? The studio system is nothing like it once was, and plenty of films are being made independent of them. But that doesn't mean they adhere to the spirit of the "indie" Films that cost "only" several million rather than tens of millions, are filled with A-listers who accepted pay cuts, are not "indie." They may have been made independent of a major studio, but that is the extent.
"Indie" for me involves risk. It involves a group of people who want to make a film, who have to scrape and to struggle to get it made. It is about courage and determination. It is about love of film. It is about guys like Kevin Smith and Richard Linklater, who risked their credit ratings, who depended on loyal friends and donations from family and film funds to get their projects made. They risk financial ruin, not to mention risking the despair and humiliation of making a bad movie. That's real risk.
I think it's time we either took back "independent" and "indie" from the studios that have made it part of their marketing campaigns, or we come up with a new term, to emphasize films made with heart, not necessarily big bucks, expensive gear and sexy actors.
I'm not sure what that new word should be. Maybe someone out there does.
BR
A partnership with Youtube! Divine. I've been waiting for someone to take further steps in releasing movies to the internet. Everyone seems to be toeing the pool, teasing us with the occasional odd release. I'm still waiting for a bolder initiative. I can almost taste the awesomeness of new releases on demand. There are just so few. Maybe this will spark some interest.
I've never actually met Redford, though I've seen him a few times in person from a distance. But from what I can tell, he's a terrific person who has a great vision.
I was actually very irked that my film didn't make it into Sundance. I don't know why. With over 9,800 submissions, I know not everyone can get in. Still, I was so tempted to condemn his message. After all, if what he said was true, why wasn't my small film accepted?
But instead I choose to find inspiration in it.
In a way, I'm glad that my film was rejected, as it makes me want to try even harder to make my work a success. Redfords message is one of hope, reminds us that our small films are very important to the industry, and that sometimes we have to start off small in order to grow.
As a Sundance veteran ('98, 00, 01, 04, 08, 09), I noticed the gradual progress from a festival showcasing independently produced films to a celebrity glitz festival with so-called celebrities who go to Sundance simply to capture the press's attention and feed off - how do I put it? - egotism.
The celebrity aspect being associated with films that actually have the starring roles (the reason for attending) notwithstanding, many celebrities who have little or nothing to do with Sundance come to Park City during Sundance Film Festival simply to indulge in the fun of an event.
It's like taking a vacation break from busy film production schedules. Park City serves as an escape for this purpose, a relaxing atmosphere with fancy lodging, fine dining, and shopping, albeit at higher altitude that can be rapidly dehydrating if you don't consume enough water for replenishment.
I'm sure many people from East and West coast enjoy visiting Park City for the festival once a year or between the spaced years, just to interact with fans (sometimes shameless sycophants), critics, photographers, press reporters, and chatting with fellow producers, agents, filmmakers and actors. Professional chauffeuring, luxurious lodging, frigid, snowy weather and Main Street to navigate uphill and down.
It's a once-a-year vacation for some, with mandated winter clothes to beat snowy weather. It's nice to get away from the warm California weather or harried lifestyle in Manhattan.
It's their right to come for any reason and party like they need a break from the otherwise humdrum life. Sundance Film Festival should be about the independent spirit of film, not glitzy spot-a-celebrity fest as some might complain that detract from the purpose of the festival to discover newfound talent which might parlay to long-term, sustained filmmaking or acting career, in Hollywood and elsewhere.
Your dispatches from the Sundance Film Festival have given me pause to recollect a small event, which took place years ago, back when I was working at International Rocketship Ltd - an independent animation studio in Vancouver, Canada. Note: founder Marv Newland is American.
I was at my desk inking cels, when someone came into the production area and shared a bit of news: the studio had been contacted by Sundance in regards to making a brief animated spot to promote/advertise the festival. It was maybe back in 1996..?
It never happened though.
They, whoever "they" were, decided to take another route. They opted instead to go with big Hollywood names to promote the festival; people like Arnold Schwarzenegger. At least that's how I remember things.
Ie: it was mid-90's and Sundance was "cool" and attracting an insane amount of attention and hype as studios jockeyed for position to grab the next "break-out film" and parties not directly affiliated with the Festival began using it to showcase themselves, etc.
Things aren't as crazy anymore, but to the extent they were makes me think of Mamet's "Speed the Plow."
The business of making movies is like a pimp looking for his next girl, eh?
But it's a tricky thing, I know. The relationship between supporting Indie Films and having to dance with the devil at times. You want their financial support but not always their presence. You want to fund a Festival but without any corporate strings attached. You want people to take an interest in what you're doing - but that can invite the interest of those you'd rather not see; Paris Hilton.
That's why I'm glad to read:
"What this means, essentially, is that Sundance itself has gone into the distribution business in partnership with filmmakers." - Roger
Middlemen make themselves necessary in order to profit of the labors of others while cashing-in on the needs of yet more. If you get rid of the middlemen, at least as far as Indie filmmakers go, word of mouth will do the rest as people share their finds with others ala "hey! Did you hear about.." etc.
That's how I heard about an indie film from Scotland called "Dear Frankie."
Someone in the blog mentioned it.
My only gripe is that whatever Sundance does, it'll likely still amount to:
"I'm sorry, but this video is not available outside the U.S."
Making the Sundance Channel and VOD a "moot point" for everyone else on the planet. I hope not, though. I hope they think globally.
Just let me agree with the final sentiment expressed by Lynne above: having read your reviews and comments for years, they've not only often told me of films I most probably wouldn't have heard of otherwise, but came to love; they've also many times made me discover new aspects of films I'd already seen and admired. So thank you for being there, and perhaps it might amuse you to know that in the preface to my first book about movies a couple of years ago, you are one of the four critics I name and thank as setting a standard we should all strive to reach. (The others? Two from my native Sweden, and an American friend you may well also know, Harlan Ellison.)
Enjoy the festival, as I am sure you are doing, and warmest regards from a faithful reader halfway across he world.
You should put a donation link for Haiti on your main page.
"Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with anything."
i want that on a t-shirt.
Some films there I'm excited to eventually see... "The Killer Inside Me" because Kubrick praised the novel, Winterbottom is a more than capable director and Casey Affleck has done disturbed before and can likely do it again, the next film from Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris because "Little Miss Sunshine" showed so much potential, "Blue Valentine" because it features one of the best actors and actresses of their generation (though the more gender studies classes I take the more irritated I am by making that male-female distinction), Philip Seymour Hoffman's first film as a director, and the Lennon biopic, as boringly/predictably conventional as it seems, it's still Lennon and The Bea-ulls!
Hello Mr. Ebert,
On the subject of Mr. Redford, I have a question.
Did you ever review his film "Jeramiah Johnson"? I have read it was a crucial film in inspiring his love of both nature and independent films.
I am afraid of Video On Demand. I think it is the reason indie box office continues to slip because it makes people believe that small films are only for the small screen.
Look forward ten years.What happens when the Independent theaters go under?
Will independent film and the true indie spirit go with it? Will the independent voices be muffled and replaced by easily marketable low-budget horror/action movies?
What independent theaters do is give low budget indies a proper platform, and most importantly, legitimacy. Once the indie theaters disappear, I'm afraid independent films will be seen as disposable straight-to-video/internet titles, burying the hopes fledgling talent.
Roger. I am a devoted reader. Because your thoughts are inseparable from my love of cinema, I cannot but be concerned about the consistent poor editing of your website. I am also a fan or Jim and often agree with him when he disagrees with you, but, of late, he falls short as and editor. Your reviews and essays are riddled with typos that distract from content. This is fact that can be demonstrated empirically. I care too much about your contributions to film criticism to be a passive observer of this neglect.
Ebert: I am only human, and post these entries late at night and miss things. I read through my entry again and found two typos, the same number as in your message.
*sigh
I think you just made a whole bunch of us jealous that we can't be there too...!
At least we can live vicariously through your blog :)
To Brad Crane on January 22, 2010 11:22 PM
I was watching a lecture by an MIT professor. A wise man who really knew his stuff and gave the best advice to aspiring engineers I have ever heard. At one point in the lecture he asked, "What's half of five?" He meant it and he had the confidence in his history to not give a dang if while explaining linear algebra he had a moment when some simple math eluded him.
I don't have that kind of self-confidence or history, so I take special care (usually)about my spelling and grammar.
If you compare the number of words Roger writes with your own your error rate must be quite high. {he falls short as and editor.} uhehm. [That's as an editor.]
To Robert Redford and Roger Ebert
In a succinct statement that should be displayed as a watermark across her photos, Redford said, "Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with anything."
Not so! Stop picking on the lovely Paris! She’s doing her job. You should be so greatful that someone like her brightens up the room with her love of life.
Not that anyone will ever go to my website, but if you did, you’d find a profile of her there. I announced my site on Christmas eve and as Tom Dark might put it, “I got my ball caps shoved up my tail pipe.”
Anyway, this is from my brief essay on my site:
About a photo I have of her: For me, one of the nicest things in life is to witness a good person when they're happy. This photograph serves that purpose well.
Here’s my brief essay:
If I were someone who held an interest in celebrities, I would probably know more about the lovely young Paris. I know little about her, except that she seems to be a nice person who is enjoying life and making the most of the hand that was dealt her. Usually when one says this, they are referring to someone who was dealt a bad hand. Well, Paris was dealt four aces.
It's a lovely name, Paris Whitney Hilton. I wonder how people would respond to her success if she were named Elvira Langthorne. I suspect they'd think she's done pretty well for herself. Yet they don't. I think it might have something to do with the name, the last name to be precise.
Folks were having a lot of fun experiencing what the Germans call shoden frauden: that's where you take pleasure in the misfortune of others. The "tapes." The DUI issue. The famous for being famous shpeel that the news media say when refering to her, all the while making her more famous, as if she needed the fifth ace to make her hand complete. So it goes with envy. And it is envy. She doesn't need the money. While I was scanning the Wikipedia biography of her, I was impressed by all that she has accomplished in her young life.
I love Paris Hilton in the Springtime of her life. How many people would be capable of what she's done, let alone be willing to do it, if they too had won the lottery? And it is only the springtime of her life.
Tom Dark, you’re an expert on German. What’s the correct way to spell “shoden frauden”?
And just to make some conversation because I haven’t talked to you for awhile, did you know that Barney Fife only had three toes left when he retired from police work?
i really did not know Robert Redford had anything
to do with sundance film festival.
and i can guarantee you that Paris Hilton had no
other reason being there than to look hip.
if she actually watched art-house films she would not have appeared in "the hottie and the nottie"
I just wanted to thank you for that Redford quote about Paris Hilton. I've never really thought about her or had anything to say about her,and now I know why. It's nice when a quote is so self-evidently true that when you hear it, something snaps into place in your mind, and all you can do is laugh. Next to 'All men are created equal', I think 'Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with anything' may be one of the most profound observations I have ever considered. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's far less debatable than that founding father's quote.
"Gimme some truth"-John Lennon.
Ebert to Brad Crane:
"I am only human, and post these entries late at night and miss things. I read through my entry again and found two typos, the same number as in your message."
For someone who doesn't sign Roger's paychecks, you're a nick-picky basterd Brad. Ahem.
Ebert: I am only human, and post these entries late at night and miss things. I read through my entry again and found two typos, the same number as in your message.
Lmao. Is there any doubt as to why we love him? The best.
Roger,
Hope that you have a great time in Park City!
I was wondering if you could give me a little guidance. Can you (or your readers) recommend any really great documentaries on the subject of Film History or film-making? I simply can't get enough... example: I recently watched "The Cutting Edge: Magic of Movie Editing" and was enthralled.
Any and all advice is welcome!
Cheers!
Chris Ortman
Redford has a very interesting face. Now that he's older the years and the weather give him the gravitus of a Roman General or the like. It'd be interesting to see him in a Scorsese movie.
By the way, years ago I saw the excellent tribute to Robert Deniro that IMF or some outfit gave and he and many of the other men had beards. Is Mr Scorsese still working on Alexander the Great? Seems like a long time to make that film.
One more thing, when Deniro talked about the scene in The Dear Hunter where he goes to visit a friend who lost his legs, Mr Deniro teared up. It really surprised me that he had such a deep connection with his characters. Perhaps that's what makes him such a great actor. I love the guy.
Redford has a very interesting face. Now that he's older the years and the weather give him the gravitus of a Roman General or the like. It'd be interesting to see him in a Scorsese movie.
By the way, years ago I saw the excellent tribute to Robert Deniro that IMF or some outfit gave and he and many of the other men had beards. Is Mr Scorsese still working on Alexander the Great? Seems like a long time to make that film.
One more thing, when Deniro talked about the scene in The Dear Hunter where he goes to visit a friend who lost his legs, Mr Deniro teared up. It really surprised me that he had such a deep connection with his characters. Perhaps that's what makes him such a great actor. I love the guy.
He said he wanted to welcome me back to Sundance after the three years I missed. "You were here at the start," he said. "You've always been a help to us."
What a nice thing to say! And thank you for sharing. That just made my day.
Roger on Twitter: Rush Limbaugh works hard every day to increase suspicion, paranoia, incivility and ignorance, and I think he knows it.
If you aren't absolutely certain that he knows it and relishes every perverse moment of it, then you really haven't been keeping close tabs on this seven letter word for an asshole.
Or is that a seven letter word for a jerk? Yeah, that's the one.
It's interesting that this Brad Crane fellow brought up typos. This may sound a little odd, but I like the typos. I honestly wanted to comment on them last year, but was afraid (and fairly certain) that it would come across wrong. I am an edit freak, and I know the only way you can make most of the errors I've seen you make is by rewording and rewording and rewording sentences. Occasionally your sentences will have an extra word, lingering around after it's sentence has been re-hauled. I know this might sound illogical, but I always thought it showed how much care about your writing. It always seemed like you wanted your words to come across just right, which requires extensive tweaking. Side-effects include superfluous words. I really hope this is coming across as somewhat sane.
Did Ordinary people deserve Best picture and director over Martin Scorsese's masterpiece, Raging Bull?
I feel terrible not responding as often as I should due to life and stress; I really get jealous of other visitors who are more diligent. But I visit every day, and care about you and your work as much as I always have. That is why I'm here to tell Brad Crane that, although he is right that there might be a couple of typos here and there, from time to time, they are nothing worth mentioning. Your writing is as clear and intelligent and poetic as ever, so "typos" do no damage.
I would like to remind the readers, as I remind myself, that only a couple of years ago we thought we might lose you. It sure is easy to take people for granted when the status quo is calm.
I don't know a better word for you, Roger, than Miracle. It's a Miracle that you're seeing Sundance at 20. It's a Miracle that you have the strength and charisma to cover it.
Sending love and goodwill your way...
In the spirit of trying to be helpful, the video beneath the caption "Fest director John Cooper makes some plans" is not visible. In it's place a graphic with the text "The video you are trying to watch cannot be viewed from this website."
I love reading your festival recaps!
RE Journal readers: Consider yourself fortunate! What you read here is truly unfiltered, unedited Roger Ebert. It's a blog -- doesn't go through the usual editing and copy-editing process, but straight from Roger to YOU. That's what a blog is: direct communication. So, keep that in mind when you see the occasional typo or tangled syntax. I have to go back and fix those things on my own blog all the time, because it's almost impossible to fully edit yourself when you're so close to what you've just written...
Ebert: Thanks, Jim.
These festival posts and lists invariably depress me. I'm going to watch so few of these...
Revised Comment Submission
To Robert Redford and Roger Ebert
In a succinct statement that should be displayed as a watermark across her photos, Redford said, "Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with anything."
Stop picking on Paris Hilton! The discernable reason I find for her presence there is that she wants to be there. That’s enough of a reason for anyone.
Paris seems to be a nice person who is enjoying life and making the most of the hand that was dealt her. Usually when one says this, they are referring to someone who was dealt a bad hand. Well, Paris was dealt four aces.
It's a lovely name, Paris Whitney Hilton. I wonder how people would respond to her success if she were named Elvira Langthorne. I suspect they'd think she's done pretty well for herself. Yet they don't. I think it might have something to do with the name, the last name to be precise.
Folks were having a lot of fun experiencing what the Germans call shoden frauden: that's where you take pleasure in the misfortune of others. The "tapes." The DUI issue. The famous for being famous shpeel that the news media say when referring to her, all the while making her more famous, as if she needed the fifth ace to make her hand complete. She doesn't need the money. While I was scanning the Wikipedia biography of her, I was impressed by all that she has accomplished in her young life.
I love Paris Hilton in the springtime. How many people would be capable of what she's done, let alone be willing to do it, if they too had won the lottery? And it is only the springtime of her life.
When Arnold Shwartzenneger started out, the studios thought so little of him that when he made "Hercules in New York," they voiced him over with someone who didn't have the accent.
I have helpfully deleted any reference to my site.
Regarding the doc "The Shock Doctrine": In one of my English classes--the one on argumentation--I occasionally pull out Milton Friedman's famous 1970 piece, "The Social Responsibility of Business is to Increase its Profits." In it, he asserts that the executives of corporations have no responsibilities beyond their investors' and owners' profit margin. Any effort to show "social" responsibility is not merely disingenuous but downright socialistic. It's an interesting thing to read in the context of the class: even many of the more "liberal" students feel the argument is well-constructed (whether it's a position worth maintaining is another matter).
It's that business-as-usual, matter-of-fact attitude that makes the Chicago Boys so dangerous. They create the terms of their limited argument, state their self-serving position with a kind of bland elegance, enforce it with like-minded elected/corporate officials, and thus the con continues.
You can read Friedman's article here: http://www.colorado.edu/studentgroups/libertarians/issues/friedman-soc-resp-business.html
Can you (or your readers) recommend any really great documentaries on the subject of Film History or film-making?
Watch American Movie. You might also be interested in LA Times' recent roundtable with Cameron, Reitman, Tarantino, Daniels, and Bigellow found here:
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-directors21-2010jan21,0,1504113,full.story
I would think "Restrepo" would be a must see. I have have followed the incredible Sebastian Junger for years. Not due to his notoriety from "The Perfect Storm" but his interviews with Ahmad Shah Massoud, the "Lion of Panjshir." Killed most likely by al-qaeda scumbags just before our intervention in Afghanistan in 1991. Junger's reporting made it clear to me that this great leader most likely could have changed the course of history in that troubled region(National Geographic}. Plus I'll never forget a Tavis Smiley show when he talked about Albert De Salvo(The Boston Strangler) working for the family when he was a kid. And he's at Sundance.
My not to see list. Just watched a short on Australia's "Cane Frogs." Made my skin crawl. Reminded me of those nasty Chinese carp that have destroyed my beloved Illinois River(great childhood memories recently ruined).
Others of my personal must see list. Splice, with the multitalented Sarah Polley and Adrian Brody. Clip was great, sure it will be at the Mayan in Denver soon. Not so sure that will be the case with Banksy's "Exit Through the the Gift Shop," but that one looks fun too. There are others of course but these come to mind
Oh ya, thanks for not beating me up on my typos and poor grammar. In my case, had to lay off my proof reader. Some may say she dumped me. I prefer to think she was simply a victim of the ongoing recession-mine.
I'm guessing Sundance is invite-only, as anything worthwhile usually is; or, that the ticket cost serves as an implicit "invitation". Anyway, I like this: "Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with anything."
Thanks for posting all of this Roger! It is thanks to you that many of us can feel a little bit closer to Sundance.
Reading your blog has become somewhat of a habit nowadays for me and lots of others!
Thanks for keeping it up!
For those of us who aren't at Sundance, thanks once again for making us feel we're attending this great festival.
Addendum to last post
Final thoughts were meant for Mr. Brad Crank.
Just so you know, sir, my former proof reader is available and highly recommended. She is a little long of tooth, but a most capable editor. She would invaluable for your future needs. Plus she's game as hell.
I was surprised last year when you didn't review Aramndo Iannucci's "In The Loop", which aired at last year's Sundance, starred the likes Steve Coogan, Peter Capaldi and James Gandolfini, and had a lot of strong, positive reviews. Anyway, a collaborator of Iannucci's, British comedian and satirist Chris Morris, who has conjured up some of the darkest, subversive, inventive, offensive, ruthlessly intelligent satire in the UK in recent decades is premiering a film called "Four Lions", a dark satirical comedy revolving around a group of incompetent, British muslim terrorist suicide bombers. Having seen a lot of Morris's British TV comedy work, this is the film from Sundance I definitely can't wait to see later this year.
Donald? Where did you get the idea I'm an expert in ze deutsche? Ze past life? I don't know how to spell "schadenfreude." Unless there's an umlaud, which we don't have.
That's our man Roger at Sundance. I'm not jealous at all. I'm reading cozy under the blankets from all that cooooooooooooold. Nor do I care about Paris Hilton's skinny butt. I never did figure out why I'm s'posed to.
Retraction over what I said about my January 23, 2010 2:29 AM entry not being posted.
By john in denver
Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with us. The invasion of the swags. What exactly is a swag?(Think I get it now from your entry)
DRM: It’s sad that a nice guy like John gets that from this thread.
By Christine Langtree on January 22, 2010 4:30 AM
Waaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanna go to Sundance too!
DRM: Smile. Well put. Me too. I think for everyone who puts Redford’s comment on a t-shirt, “Waaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna go to Sundance too!” should be the first sentence.
By Stefan on January 22, 2010 5:34 AM
key word(s) being "stuck between".
DRM: Stefan, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
By Seongyong Cho on January 22, 2010 5:46 AM
Unnecessary noises(and probably Paris Hilton) will be gone
By JMW on January 22, 2010 11:31 AM
And Kudos to Robert for his comment about Paris Hilton,
By Marie Haws on January 22, 2010 6:20 PM
but that can invite the interest of those you'd rather not see; Paris Hilton.
By richard voza on January 22, 2010 8:36 PM
"Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with anything."
i want that on a t-shirt.
By reality_writer on January 23, 2010 2:33 AM
i really did not know Robert Redford had anything
to do with sundance film festival.
and i can guarantee you that Paris Hilton had no
other reason being there than to look hip.
if she actually watched art-house films she would not have appeared in "the hottie and the nottie"
DRM: People were making remarks like that about Shwartzennegar when he had the audacity to go from being a body builder to an actor.
By Spencer Troxell on January 23, 2010 2:56 AM
I just wanted to thank you for that Redford quote about Paris Hilton. I've never really thought about her or had anything to say about her,and now I know why. It's nice when a quote is so self-evidently true that when you hear it, something snaps into place in your mind, and all you can do is laugh. Next to 'All men are created equal', I think 'Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with anything' may be one of the most profound observations I have ever considered. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's far less debatable than that founding father's quote.
"Gimme some truth"-John Lennon.
DRM: “Christ, you know it ain’t easy!”
Look, it was Chapman who murdered John Lennon. Do your homework, man.
And that's all I'm going to say about the comments, because I'm getting nauseas.
This last few blogs...., hard to give an opinion when I haven't seen the movie, and in the case of the Sundance entries, to date I don't think I can recall any of them ever being shown down in my country. The only way I was ever able to catch with HOOP DREAMS was free youtube, in 17, 10 minute sections.
All of this makes me wonder, whaterver happened to the very nice Mohammad Ali blog which before I could read thoroughly, simply dissappeared? (I'm sure there was a reason though).
The festival experience does sound great, I'm wondering what the attraction for a festival of this nature would be to someone like Paris Hilton. Maybe that's an interesting movie right there.
Ebert: Ali was a special TwitterPage by Larry J. Kolb, and all the special pages are linked down the right margin of blog pages. Some good stuff there.
The Sundance and Independent Film channels on cable have made a major change in one person's viewing habits, my husband's. When we first started going out I could on occasion drag him to our art house cinema, but after we got married that stopped for a long time. He loved good movies, but would only see the ones at major theaters (like LA Confidential). But then he discovered the two above channels on our cable box. Now they're on his favorites list, and when he's bored, that's where he tends to go because, he says, the films are different and interesting. It's opened up his movie-watching horizons a lot. Yet one more reason to thank the Sundance Institute and Robert Redford.
To Tom Dark and others,
Ah ze past life. I’ve forgotten all about it. Thanks for looking "schadenfreude" up for me. I would never have guessed that’s how it’s spelled. I never noticed Paris’s butt. Her bad posture, yes. And of course those lovely eyes. Myself I gotta like a girl whose motto is “Dress cute wherever you go, life it too short to blend in.
I’d be interested in knowing what you think of my web site. I have half a mind to abandon it for lack of visitors. I like to spend my time productively.
You or anyone can email me at: donaldroymiller@netzero.com
I’m thinking about having a “friends of the site area” for people (with or without websites) to place their work.
Together, we can change the world! Or something.
The few people who have visited my site really like The Chicago Moon-Tribune. Although my main interests are in engineering and technology. And if I manage to live to three hundreds years or so I may actually learn the engineering material.
To Donald Miller
-My poor note taking as it relates swags and Paris Hilton
Heard the unfamiliar term "swag" and very familiar term, Paris Hilton, at about the same time when was I streaming the opening ceremonies. Happened to see Roger's first post late Thursday night. Guess I was still a little stoked. Anyhow Roger remarks hit home- "Redford and the new festival director, John Cooper,... talked about returning to the festival's roots as a haven for indie films." That was most evident through out the Press Conference. I sensed they felt the festival may be somewhat losing its way. The Urban Dictionary defines s.w.a.g as 'stuff we all get.' "Ambush marketers" is another related term used by Redford, as Roger pointed out. I just felt they were concerned with too much 'stuff'(creeping commercialism) setting in, and they were consciously redirecting their efforts back to those core elements that makes the Sundance Film Festival so special. The sweet yet vacuous Ms. Hilton was but one example of the misdirected publicity they had been receiving of late, and they were gonna make things right. Just reread the "re" words.
That's all I was getting at. My take anyway. But I'm the first to admit, Donald, I sure as hell ain't much of a blog reporter if I can't make a point any better than that.
By Shane on January 23, 2010 5:39 PM
Watch American Movie.
Thanks for the advice, Shane! I have American Movie queued upon on Netflix!
Chris
Ebert,
It is so wonderful to see you at Sundance and Bob appreciating it! It seems that the world is right again.
I have more additional films added to my idmb listings ebert recommended ..
thanks Roger for this post..
"White Plastic Flower"
Wow.. Sundance looks like a pretty scary experience. I'll stick with Internet video production / distribution.
It took me a couple of seconds to figure out that was picture of Oliver Platt, not Bill Richardson, with Katherine Keener
I've been reading your reviews, articles and answer man series for years Roger and I was delighted to see you at the opening press conference. I didn't realize you were there until Redford walked off stage to greet you. You were both of course quickly obscured by the mob of photographers, but through the mob I saw a warm exchange that was quite moving. You've come through the fire and here you are, doing what you love. I hear your reply, "What else would I be doing?"
I should say, and I posted this is in the most recent entry of my own festival blog, that Saturday morning I left my hotel and passed by, yes, Paris Hilton. I chuckled at the irony of this and made my way to the theater. What else could I do?
Enjoy the rest of the fest Roger.
my festival blog for the Brazilian film quarterly BETA:
http://revistabeta.wordpress.com/
I submit this only because full disclosure seems appropriate. Most-make that nearly all-of what's mentioned in the article I have not seen or heard, because I don't follow celebrities of any stripe. (However, I do like girls who brighten up a room and wear bunny outfits.)
[Okay, enough from me already. I'm putting my soap box back in the shed.]
Paris Hilton
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Paris Whitney Hilton (born February 17, 1981) is an American socialite, heiress, media personality, model, singer, author, fashion designer and actress.
As a model
Hilton began modeling as a child, initially at charity events. When she was 19, she signed with Donald Trump's modeling agency, T Management. Hilton has also worked with Ford Models in New York, Models 1 Agency in London, Nous Model Management in Los Angeles, and Premier Model Management in London. She has appeared in numerous advertising campaigns, including Iceberg Vodka, GUESS, Tommy Hilfiger, Christian Dior, and Marciano. In 2001, Hilton began to develop a reputation as a socialite, being identified as "New York's leading It Girl" whose fame was beginning to "extend beyond the New York tabloids". She has appeared in several magazines, including the April 2004 issue of Maxim.
As a media personality
Film
Hilton has made cameo appearances in several films, notably Zoolander, Wonderland, and The Cat In The Hat. She landed minor and supporting roles in the feature films Nine Lives, Raising Helen, The Hillz, and House of Wax. Her role as Paige Edwards in House of Wax won the Teen Choice Award for "Best Scream" and earned her a nomination for "Choice Breakout Performance – Female". (It also won her the 2005 Razzie for "Worst Supporting Actress" at the 2005 Golden Raspberry Awards.) She also earned a nomination for "Best Frightened Performance" at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards. She landed her first lead roles in 2006 with the straight-to-DVD releases National Lampoon's Pledge This! and Bottoms Up. She plays the Hottie in the box office bomb romantic comedy The Hottie and the Nottie, released in 2008. She also had a minor cameo appearance as herself in An American Carol.
More recently, Hilton plays Amber Sweet, the surgery- and painkiller-addicted daughter of a biotech magnate in the goth/rock musical Repo! The Genetic Opera. Critics have responded positively to her performance in the film, in which she sings and acts. In an interview Repo! director Darren Lynn Bousman revealed that he had originally refused to audition Hilton for the role of Amber Sweet. "I broke down," says Bousman, "and I met with her, and immediately she charmed everyone in the room." In the same interview, Bousman also revealed that Hilton was so keen to get the part that she had the script smuggled in to her during her much publicized stint in a Los Angeles jail, and used her time inside to work on her role.
Television
Hilton co-starred with her friend Nicole Richie in the Fox reality series The Simple Life, which premiered on December 2, 2003. The Simple Life ran for three seasons on Fox. The show was cancelled by Fox after a dispute between Hilton and Richie, but it was subsequently aired by E! Entertainment Television for the fourth and fifth seasons. Despite talks of a sixth season, the series finished its run at the end of the fifth season. In March 2008, it was reported that Hilton would star in a new MTV reality series tentatively titled Paris Hilton's My New BFF, about her looking for a new best friend. The series premiered on September 30, 2008.
Hilton has also guest-starred in episodes of the popular tv-show The O.C., The George Lopez Show, Las Vegas, American Dreams, Dogg After Dark, and Veronica Mars. Furthermore, she appeared in several music videos, including "It Girl" by John Oates and "Just Lose It" by Eminem. Planning is underway for an eponymous cartoon series following the animated life of Hilton, her sister Nicky, and her dog Tinkerbell, which began filming in September 2007. In April 2008, she guest starred on the My Name is Earl episode "I Won't Die with a Little Help from My Friends". On 29 January 2009, Paris Hilton's British Best Friend, began airing on ITV2 in England. The second season of Paris Hilton's My New BFF premiered on June 2, 2009. In June 2009, Hilton shot "Paris Hilton's Dubai BFF". Runner-up of the British series Kat McKenzie died on July 3, 2009 of a suspected overdose.
Hilton guest-starred in the fifth episode of Supernatural's fifth season. "Paris Hilton is playing a demonic creature that takes the form of... Paris Hilton," creator and executive producer Eric Kripke said in a statement. "It'll be a fun, irreverent episode and we here at Supernatural are thrilled that Paris agreed to do it."
Recording artist
Hilton founded Heiress Records, a sub-label of Warner Bros. Records, in 2004 and released her self-titled debut album, Paris, under that label on August 22, 2006. Although the album reached number six on the Billboard 200 for a week, its total sales volume has been low- but the first single "Stars Are Blind" was a top ten hit in 17 countries. Allmusic commented that the album was "more fun than anything released by Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson, and a lot fresher, too." On the whole, critical reception was mixed. On July 16, 2007 Hilton confirmed that she was working on a new album with producer Scott Storch. In a recent interview with MTV, Hilton decided that her second album is going to be a dance album. She stated that she "loves Bob Sinclar" and wants to create dance-music vibe. Hilton has installed a professional recording studio in her house to work on the album. On September 30, 2008, Hilton premiered her song "My BFF" on KIIS-FM with host Ryan Seacrest. It is the first single from her as yet untitled second studio album and the theme song of her show Paris Hilton's My New BFF. Hilton stated that she finished working on the album. A second song "Paris For President" was released along with a music video late October 2008. Paris Hilton can also be heard singing on the soundtrack to the musical Repo! The Genetic Opera. In an interview, the director, Darren Lynn Bousman, praised her vocal skills. When talking about Paris' vocal audition process for the role, Bouseman said, "We gave her some music and said, 'You have one day to come back and perform this.' She came back the next day, memorized everything, was pitch-perfect, I mean she was awesome.”
For her second studio album, she has confirmed 4 tracks: "Jailhouse Baby", "Platinum Blonde", "Crave" and "Girl Tax", and she's still looking for a label who releases her album.
As an author
Further information: Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose and Your Heiress Diary: Confess It All to Me
In the autumn of 2004, Hilton released an autobiographical book, Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose, co-written by Merle Ginsberg, which includes full color photographs of her and her advice on life as an heiress. Hilton reportedly received a $100,000 advance payment for this book. Some in the media panned the writing as amateurish, and the book was parodied by Robert Mundell on The Late Show with David Letterman. The book became a New York Times bestseller. Hilton followed it up with a designer diary, also with Ginsberg, called Your Heiress Diary: Confess It All to Me.
On September 2009, Hilton's quote: "Dress cute wherever you go, life is too short to blend in" has been added to The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations.
Standing as a celebrity
She appeared in the 2007 Guinness World Records as the world's "Most Overrated Celebrity". In a poll conducted by the Associated Press and AOL, Hilton was voted the second "Worst Celebrity Role Model of 2006", behind Britney Spears. Critics suggest that Hilton epitomizes the title of famous for being famous echoing that sentiment, the Associated Press conducted what they called an experiment in February 2007, trying not to report on Hilton for a whole week.
2008 parody Presidential campaign
On August 6, 2008 Hilton appeared in a 1 minute 50 second long video online, "Paris Hilton Responds to McCain Ad", directed by Adam McKay and posted on the Funny or Die website. The video featured Hilton in a parody advertisement, and was made in response to a television campaign advert "Celeb", by the 2008 John McCain presidential campaign. In Celeb, McCain briefly compared his rival Barack Obama to that of celebrities such as Hilton and Britney Spears, going on to question his readiness to lead and criticize his energy policy.
In what The Washington Post opined "might just be her best acting role yet,” Hilton appears in the video wearing a leopard print swimsuit. She starts out by suggesting that her personal mention by McCain means that she must now be a candidate in the presidential race, and goes on to mock McCain, and critique the expected qualities and lifestyle of a celebrity in comparison to that of a US president. In a 30 second segment, in the style of an academic speaker, Paris compares and contrasts the policies of McCain and Obama for solving the US energy crisis, and goes on to propose a 'compromise solution' combining elements of both.
The video received 7 million views in two days garnering worldwide press coverage, and drew both written and verbal media response from both campaigns. The merits and drawbacks of the 'Paris compromise solution' with regard to energy policy, as well as its contrast to the adversarial political campaigns, generated multiple comments from US political commentators, as well as Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Congressman Michael Burgess.
Continuing the spoof campaign, in October, Hilton featured in a second parody video posted on Funny or Die, the 2 minute 20 second long "Paris Hilton Gets Presidential with Martin Sheen", alongside Hollywood actor Martin Sheen, with his son, actor Charlie Sheen, appearing in a cameo role. Hilton, heavily made up and in a green evening dress, interviews Martin Sheen in a kitchen, discussing various political issues, seeking his advice from his days playing a fictional President on The West Wing
Products and endorsements
Hilton helped design a collection of purses for Japanese label Samantha Thavasa, and also a jewelry line for Amazon.com
In 2004, Hilton was involved in the creation of a perfume line by Parlux Fragrances. Originally set to be a small release, high demand led to a wider release before December 2004. The launch was followed by a 47 percent increase in sales of Parlux products, predominantly due to sales of the Hilton-branded perfume. After the success of Hilton's perfume, Parlux Fragrances released several more perfumes with her name, including fragrances for men. Paris Hilton launched a new fragrance in October 2007, called Can Can. This is her fourth women's fragrance after Paris Hilton, Just Me, and Heiress. During the month of November 2008, Paris Hilton released her fifth fragrance for women called, Fairy Dust. In July 2009, her sixth fragrance for women Siren was launched.
In January 2007, Hilton released the DreamCatchers line of hair extensions in partnership with Hair Tech International. In early August 2007, Hilton signed a licensing agreement with Antebi for a signature footwear line, "Paris Hilton Footware", featuring stilettos, platforms, flats, wedges, and a sports collection, expected to reach stores in 2008. In mid August 2007, Hilton launched a line of tops, dresses, coats, and jeans at Kitson boutique in Los Angeles.
In 2005, Hilton lent her name to a chain of nightclubs owned by Fred Khalilian and known as Club Paris. This association ended in January 2007 after she had failed to attend several scheduled promotional appearances.
In December 2007, Hilton posed nude, covered in gold paint, to promote "Rich Prosecco", a canned version of an Italian sparkling wine. She also traveled to Germany to promote the drink, appearing in various print ads for the product.
I saw a thumbnail for the Superman logo under recent assets making me wonder if Roger's going to post about a film at Sundance called:
"Waiting For Superman" by Davis Guggenheim (2009)
It's a Documentary about the failing public school system in the U.S. There's already some advance buzz about it; I first heard mention of the film on CNN. There's a video for it over at the Sundance website, or you can watch it on you tube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Psx6TKDr46Y
Then again, maybe he's talking about Warner Bro's plans to reboot "Superman" in the wake of Superman 'Returns' failing to meet studio expectations? For the thumbnail says: "superman_warner_bro_won" Unless that's simply where he found it? Over at Warner Bro's.
Warner Bros. President Alan F. Horn stated, "I thought it was a very successful movie, but I think it should have done $500 million worldwide. We should have had perhaps a little more action to satisfy the young male crowd." - wiki
SHUDDER!!! Hello Transformers? Or Pirates? Or Guy Richie's Sherlock Holmes??
Note: the film sucked because it was lame! Brandon Routh (Superman) was hired for his looks. Also, Kevin Spacey sucked as Lex Luthor.
I've heard buzz online that some fans would like to see actor Clancy Brown play Lex Luthor. And who is that, you may ask?
"Brown was born in Urbana, Ohio. His mother was a conductor, composer and concert pianist, while his father was an Ohio Congressman and chairman of the board of the Brown Publishing Company, the family-owned newspaper business started by his grandfather. He graduated from prestigious St. Albans Prep School in Washington DC, and earned scholarship to Northwestern. He was inspired to become an actor by a neighbor who showed him Shakespeare's works."
I didn't know there was an Urbana "Ohio" but it seems there is!
Anyhoo, Clancy "is" Lex Luthor! He's been doing the guy for years (animation voice work.) But most people in the blog will know him as a character actor.
@ Donald Miller wrote:
"Stop picking on Paris Hilton! The discernable reason I find for her presence there is that she wants to be there. That’s enough of a reason for anyone."
Paris Hilton has made a career out of shameless self-promotion in order to finance what amounts to a shallow party lifestyle; for albeit a Hilton, she didn't inherit a vast fortune. And so like a parasite on the @ss of a dog called fame, she shows up at high profile events in order to be "seen" and score some free publicity and swag. She understands how to use celebrity to make more out of itself, while profiting from it at the time.
She's famous for being famous and gets paid for it. Otherwise, she has no talent. The emperor has no clothes, but in America it doesn't matter; not if you can sell them a picture of the clothes instead.
That's Paris Hilton.
Now compare that to the Film Festival:
"Sundance Institute is a non-profit organization dedicated to the discovery and development of independent artists and audiences. Through its programs, the Institute seeks to discover, support, and inspire independent film and theatre artists from the United States and around the world, and to introduce audiences to their new work. The Institute's programs include the annual Sundance Film Festival." - Sundance Institute
I'll change my opinion of Paris Hilton when she parts with $500,000 to personally finance a small Indie film about the antithesis of herself.
I'm taking issue with what she stands for and represents. And unless mistaken, I felt everyone else was too? I think you've missed the context in which those comments were made; the ones you quoted.
As for schadenfreude, I think that better describes "gleefulness" in the face of another's misfortune as opposed to observing their ignorance.
And Paris Hilton puts herself in the line of fire when she attends events like Sundance because of "why" she's there. That's what people are taking issue with; ie: self-serving shyte and the extent to which she's the poster child for it, is why you hear her name.
I look forward to seeing "Howl," though I admit your comment that "it's rather flat, objective, dispassionate" does worry me a little, considering Ginsberg's poems are anything but. For an assignment in high school I even dressed the part and read from one of his poems in my best imitation of a young Allen Ginsberg. I hope James Franco is more successful than I was.
Hi Marie,
I’ll speak up for the persecuted, be they rich and famous or poor and unknown. I believe in intellectual consistency, for without that we have no foundation to support our other claims—and that would be justly so. The far-right thrive on mean-spiritedness. Liberals, I believe, have a moral obligation not to. So far, I’m the only person on this thread who has had a kind word to say about her. I think this is a reflection of the twisted political and mean-spirited nature of our popular culture. She is not O J Simpson, although you would think so from all the abuse she receives. I admire her for her resolve. I noticed in the Wiki, that she was awarded something or other for “Most frightened performance.” at some event If she didn’t have the courage to put herself on the line, she wouldn’t need to be frightened.
“ Shameless self-promotion,” as opposed to what other kind of promotion? (Having someone else promote you?) Was Barack Obama “shamelessly” running for President, as the Right contended? I have maintained all along that he had every right to run for President just as anyone else who meets the constitutional requirements, be they of any political party.
I already know that “she didn't inherit a vast fortune.” The reason for this is that she insisted on living off the money she earned for herself. Does she have flaws? Of course, but probably far fewer than I do. Your comment about “parasite on the @ss of a dog” might get you whipped by a horse, if you're not careful.
As for the “self-serving” comment. I am shocked I tells you, absolutely shocked, to hear that someone would stoop so low. How darest she! I like you. Yet, you haven’t parted with $500,000 of your money to personally finance a small Indie film about the antithesis of yourself. I know for diddley dang certain that I would only do such a thing if it were I who was receiving the $500,000.
May I kindly ask you whose ignorance you are referring to when you say, “As for schadenfreude, I think that better describes "gleefulness" in the face of another's misfortune as opposed to observing their ignorance.”?
Marie, apparently Paris, “stands for and represents” something different to each of us. I see someone using her resourcefulness to accomplish some goals she has set for herself in her life, even though she won the lottery. She’s only 29 years old.
Were there any wife- or girlfriend-beating sports “heroes” at Sundance? I have no idea. I don’t follow sports and I have no idea how many people attended Sundance. Paris Hilton is an easy person to pick on. Please, save your energy for the likes of Rush Limbaugh.
I love that “Hey! Roger!” caricature you made of yourself, by the way. In that spirit, I will sign off by saying, “So there!” and sticking my tongue out at you.
Your friend,
Donald Miller
Hi, john in denver
This is the first time we've had a chance to exchange a few words on the site. Twenty years form now when Paris is governor of Kaleeforneeia, we'll see just how "vacuous" she is."
: )
Pardon both the off-topicness and the url, but to help with your "Answer Man" questioner, Google Maps has an option that gives you the directions from Point A to Point B by foot. And here are the directions from northern Maine to the California-Mexico border (with only a brief sojourn into Canada):
http://tinyurl.com/yjsav44
To Aaron Reese on January 23, 2010 11:29 AM
I'm more or less with you on the typos. They're often interesting. What would be really interesting, and I believe educational as well, is if Mr Ebert showed some of the drafts and revisions that he writes. Although it might not be the case that he needs to re-work them much, considering how many he has done and is doing, so who knows.
One of my favorite quotes is where someone asked Hemmingway why he rewrote the ending to "The Sun Also Rises" fifty times, and his answer was "To get the words right."
: )
@ Donald Miller wrote:
"The far-right thrive on mean-spiritedness. Liberals, I believe, have a moral obligation not to."
I wasn't being mean-spirited. Not unless you also have an issue with the likes of Oscar Wilde, Dorthy Parker, Pauline Kael, Fran Lebowitz, Molly Ivins, George Carlin and Lewis Black.
"So far, I’m the only person on this thread who has had a kind word to say about her. I think this is a reflection of the twisted political and mean-spirited nature of our popular culture."
I'm not picking on how she looks, what she wears or who her friends are. I haven't made fun of her music video or that film she did. I haven't called her stupid, either.
She famous for being famous and turned it into a career. If you find that worth admiring, go ahead. Personally, I prefer something more substantial, like actual talent.
@ Donald Miller wrote -
"May I kindly ask you whose ignorance you are referring to when you say, “As for schadenfreude, I think that better describes "gleefulness" in the face of another's misfortune as opposed to observing their ignorance.”?
Tiger Woods cheats on his wife and gets caught. Imo, there's a certain amount of "schadenfreude" to be found in the media circus that's since erupted; people love a juicy story more so than showing consideration to his wife.
Ignorance:
Paris Hilton showing up at The Sundance Film Festival looking to score some swag and free Press, is akin to wearing a fur coat outside a PETA rally.
@ Donald Miller wrote:
"I see someone using her resourcefulness to accomplish some goals she has set for herself in her life, even though she won the lottery. She’s only 29 years old."
And I see an extremely media savvy socialite taking advantage of the notoriety afforded her in the wake of an infamous tape, to tap into the cult of celebrity in a bid to finance a lavish lifestyle.
All Hail, Pia Zadora!
Look upon her works, you sex-kittens, and despair!
Roger -- It's so great that you'll be back in Park City this year. I think your journal is so well suited to it too. It's great that two of your first five films are from the NEXT section.
I watched the live stream of the Cooper/Redford press conference, and I think I had a reaction similar to your point: What an amazing treasure Robert Redford is for the independent film community. And you're exactly right -- it's ironic that for all the heat his festival has taken in recent years for turning into an orgy of self-promotion it's hard to think of a person of his celebrity status that is less about self-promotion and more about substance. I love that Sundance made the press conference available on line, because it really gave some great insight both into Cooper's vision and to Redford's guiding hand. Part curmudgeon, part story teller, and always captain of the ship, he was captivating: Whether telling his paparazi stories or scoffing at a foolish question. He also has an amazing ability to stay on message.
We head to Park City on Wednesday. I love the second part of the Festival. Paris Hilton has gone home, and you have the benefit of blogs like yours to help identify stuff to see. At the final showing of (500) Days of Summer last year, Joseph Gordon Levitt did the Q&A and he was infectious -- talking about how much he loves the last few days of Sundance and about how great it feels to be surrounded by people who love film, without the filter of the give-away tents and parties.
Can't wait to read your blog throughout the festival. I'm looking forward to all your stuff, but one film in particular I wonder if you'll be seeing is Gaspar Noe's Enter the Void. I thought your review of Irreversible was fantastic. (I have not seen Irreversible; I decided after reading about it that it wasn't for me, but your review's contemplation of film morality was really thought provoking.) I hope we will get your take on Enter the Void (although it now occurs to me that you may have seen it at Cannes, but I don't remember reading about it in your blog).
Other films that really look compelling to me at this year's festival (I have a preference for the movies in competition) that I hope you will see and write about: Winter's Bone, happythankyoumoreplease, Cyrus, Catfish, Sympathy For Delicious, Bilal's Stand, Holy Rollers, Last Train Home, Animal Kingdom . . . . Ah, heck, I'm going to stop. They all look great.
I have one comment, by the way, about your contention that "Robert Redford has done more for indie films than any other human being." It's surely true. In terms of making Independent Film cool, and providing a forum for new stories and artists, the point is not debatable. If you've ever had occasion, to read the mission statement of the Sundance Institute, its first sentence is fascinating: "Sundance Institute is a non-profit organization dedicated to the discovery and development of independent artists and audiences." "And audiences." I love that about Sundance. It really does understand the role of audience fostering in the Independent Film Movement. But, if we want to start making a list of those who have been instrumental in trying to bring audiences to challenging stories, ideas, and techniques -- and to help us understand why it's worth the effort -- there's a certain Pulitzer prize winner from Illinois whose name belongs at or near the top of everyone's list.
Somniferous says: "I'm guessing Sundance is invite-only, as anything worthwhile usually is; or, that the ticket cost serves as an implicit 'invitation'."
No, no, no! Where this misimpression comes from I have no idea, although it's common. The difficulty of Sundance is not one of elitism or cost, but one of logistics. It's difficult to get to Park City in the winter. You need to plan ahead to register for advanced tickets or packages. You need to start looking for lodging in the late Summer, early Autumn. It's cold and crowded. You can't drive. The venues are less than optimal. One is a converted racquet club. One is a high school auditorium.
But once you are there, it is incredibly accessible. There are free buses that take you everywhere. If you must see the big stars and the big premiers, tickets are tough. But with a bit of planning and foresight, and an open mind, you can literally get tickets for 5 films a day, at $15 per screening. Or, for $600, you can get 20 tickets, plus credentials that get you into every official venue. It's nothing like Cannes. It's a very populist experience.
If you want to go to parties with A-list celebrities and see only the first showing of a studio movie, you might have trouble. But if you want to discover a movie with 300 others with similar sensibilities and then talk about it on a cold and packed shuttle bus thereafter, Park City is the place. If you really need to see the celebrities, just hang out at the town Albertson's in the evening. They're all there. Usually in sweat pants. As it turns out, the celebrities and party goers are the least compelling thing about the festival.
To Marie who wrote: Tiger Woods cheats on his wife and gets caught. Imo, there's a certain amount of "schadenfreude" to be found in the media circus that's since erupted; people love a juicy story more so than showing consideration to his wife.
I had half a mind not to respond further, but the Tiger Woods and John Edwards issues delve so deeply into public-image-making that I can’t resist. Woods had cultivated an image of himself as being so squeaky clean and admirable that whatever fallout he is currently receiving, is well-deserved by him. Not only his wife but the people who have admired him so much over the years no doubt feel betrayed. The media’s coverage probably - while he is in hiding - gives more comfort to his betrayed wife than grief. (But that’s somewhat irrelevant, due to the fact that a fall from grace such as his cannot be overlooked by the media. That would be hypocrisy in the extreme, it seems to me.)
Edwards is the lowest [is there a way of abbreviating piece of shyte and still have people know what you’re saying?] person I can think of. How dare such a scum bag run for the highest office in America! I voted for the Kerry/Edwards ticket, and to everyone who said Edwards was an empty suit, I say that they were right and I was wrong.
The photos taken of Paris while she was on her way to jail were humiliating and, to me, offensive. There was this big front page headline in some New York tabloid of her in her despair with a caption which read, “Cry Baby.”
When she got out of the mental health section of the slammer, she had someone smuggle her a script, which she worked on learning in her “spare time.”
The brave and stalwart Paris evidently took the humiliation with a grain of salt, considered it as coming with the territory, and soldiered on. Yes! I do admire Paris. Not for the party aspect of her life, which is her own business and I don’t see her betraying anyone in the meanwhile.
I cannot say that her image is a what-you-see-is-what-you-get one however. I don’t know if she’s still doing her Gracie Allen impersonation or not, but that was completely contrived. Paris is one smart girl.
Paris, the smart and pretty heiress. Well, I’m signing off so I can take a cold shower.
Marie, You mentioned Paris's "shameless self-promotion." Speaking of shameless self-promotion, I came across this elsewhere on this very site:
Hello, Aaron Aeraport here.
I’m sure most of you remember me from my many witty and insightful comments on Mr Ebert’s blog. I am now located at The Chicago Moon-Tribune, where I and Donald Roy Miller have constructed a web site. Drop by and say hello.
I’ve just been reprimanded for attempting to promote my site on someone else’s site. Must be an error from the legal department.
As a way of promoting the site, I’d like to quote from a brief exchange I had with Mr Ebert. It’s true that I have from time to time been accused of making wildly exaggerated claims.
However, this is a documentefiable fact. Mr Miller, on my behalf, emailed Mr Ebert and stated that if he found my reporting on crime in Chicago politics immensely entertaining and howlingly funny, do NOT reply to this message. Well, I’m very proud to report that he did reply to my message, stating and I quote: “I found your reporting on crime in Chicago politics howlingly funny and immensely entertaining.” So there you have it! Proof positive of the kind of quality that you can expect to find at Learner’s World.
I just received another reprimand notice. I have been informed not to promote Learner’s World which is located at: http://S2.WebStarts.com/LearnersWorld/index.html
That’s Learner’s World at http://S2.WebStarts.com/LearnersWorld/index.html, for which I have been reprimanded.
So, there you have it rampant self-promotion of the most shameless type--and the kind of rampant self-promotion and high-brow humor you can expect to find at my site.
Ebert: Donald, I'm tiring of this. Please write as yourself, and about the movies.
And Marie, before you go getting all upset over me “judging a girl by her appearance” and all that kind of incorrectness, let me point out my idea of pretty. The photo of Paris on the left, where she is posing, which is what models do, of course, to me is not pretty. Evidently a lot of people find it—well, something that’s beyond me. Anyway, the photo on the right, where she’s enjoying her life: Very Pretty!!!! I am happy for her. And that really is my last comment.
: )
However, if you want more of my comments about Paris Hilton, Grace Wang, Roger Ebert, Marie Haws, Tom Dark, Neil Young, The Who, Charlie Rose, Jim Lehrer - as the list will go from month to month; stop by my site. Otherwise, the only intelligent thing for me to do is to abandon the site and spend my time starring at a mirror and asking, “You talkin’ to me? ‘Cause I don’t see anybody else in this room. Well, who the F--- else would I be talkin’ to?”
It's not a wonder his film didn't find studio financing; the screening was attended by what looked like busload of Azar's backers, wearing matching red snow jackets and stocking caps, "who all invested a couple of hundred." I would say they got more than their money's worth.
I'm not so sure I understand your synopsis. It seems more like they got screwed out of a couple hundred bucks each, although the snow jackets and their time at Sundance no doubt makes up for it.
Unfortunately, Machiavelli was right. I find it incredibly ironic that a young woman is denounced while the greatest of all Machiavellians is praised. After gaining some success himself, Bill Gates ruthlessly crushed anyone who would rise against him. No matter if you were a small company struggling to succeed or one that was on the brink of success, if he perceived you as a future threat, you were destroyed. It took the full might of the US congress years of litigation to bring his reign of rampant capitalistic aggression under some modicum of control. Likewise, the European Union had to use its full weight of authority to reign him in. Despite these inconveniences, he became the richest man in the world.
Now, he’s older and although he lives in a fifty million dollar home, he is now a hero to the oppressed people of the world because he hands out some skeeter nets and some vaccines with the money he hauled in during his youthful rampant capitalistic rampage. I shall give my money away, says he. Yep you can’t take it with you, Billy, but you can use Master Machiavelli’s tricks right up to the end, while living in your fifty million dollar home, and being the ever so compassionate “liberal” that you now are.
It is indeed so terribly frustrating. I just wonder how this country might be convinced that there are more films out there than the 2-3 that come out each week at the big theatre. I'm not sure that most people even realize that this represents such a mind numbingly small percentage of (medium to high budget) films each year. But I appreciate your attempts to get the word out. I am setting up a new document for 2010 of films from your site and some others that highlight some of the more film festival-ish films. It mostly takes patience for me. I do believe I will eventually see these films, but it may be months or years before such a thing happens. But i'm definitely still catching up on last years list quite a bit anyways.
Roger--- I am in Brazil right now amidst samba music and half naked women in g-strings dancing their hearts out...it is a sight!!!
Apparently Paris Hilton is coming down here for Carnaval. She will see what real love for life is all about... amazing looking women dancing against the batucada sounds for hours non-stop, wearing huge feathers pieces on their heads and platform shoes, moving without missing a beat and their bodies going from side to side with such elegance. Now that is hot!!
I will keep visiting you to find out more about Sundance..can you hear the batucada from there??? Do you ever come to Brazilian Film Festival???
Ebert: Donald, I'm tiring of this. Please write as yourself, and about the movies.
I don't know anything about these movies I have not seen. You and Redford made Hilton a subject. I have grown more than a little tired of people abusing this young woman. You do not have a crystal ball in which you can see the future.
The correlation that I make between she and Shwartzennegar is completely valid. (And guess where I got my primary information about Shwartzennegar--you. You wrote about how you met him when he was going to college to learn how to manage the money he was going to make as a movie star. That was a real hoot to some folks who thought he was crazy. And the studio DID voice him over when he did "Hercules in New York." So if you have no more qualms about crushing Ms Hilton's dreams than you do about crushing my dreams (for the second time)of having a first class website that people actually go to, that is a reflection of you.
Please look into your crystal ball and let me know what the winning lottery numbers are going to be, as I could use the money.
Ebert: I published your message.
You can include it in your posts on the "URL" line, but you didn't.
I have a first class website that people actually go to, that is a reflection of me, and we are on it right now.
"However, if you want more of my comments about Paris Hilton, Grace Wang, Roger Ebert, Marie Haws, Tom Dark, Neil Young, The Who, Charlie Rose, Jim Lehrer - as the list will go from month to month; stop by my site. Otherwise, the only intelligent thing for me to do is to abandon the site and spend my time starring at a mirror and asking, “You talkin’ to me? ‘Cause I don’t see anybody else in this room. Well, who the F--- else would I be talkin’ to?” - Donald Miller
You're soliciting people inside Roger Ebert's Blog to visit your site so you can talk about some of the people who post in here? Including Roger himself? And using his blog to do it..?!
Wow.
Backing away slowly and making no sudden moves...
Marie,
The idea for my site would have been to say nice and encouraging things about people and their work, as I did in the unreturned email I sent you last week about your work.If you had ever been to my site you would know that I put my heart and soul into it.
Yes, back away slowly without making eye contact. I have these crazy ideas that people should care about one another and that strategic alliances are a good thing.
And if I were a journalist at Sundance I would ask Ms Hilton: Why are you here? And do you have any future plans involving independent films?
But that's just the kind of crazy ideas I have.
As a reference point to Marie's comment about me: Wow.
Backing away slowly and making no sudden moves...
This is the entire text of the email I sent Marie when I noticed Indian H W mentioned, "Where's Marie? I miss her a lot." Concerned, I sent her this email:
I hope all is well with you. I was looking over some of your most recent artwork on
Mr Ebert's site, and you just keep getting better and better.
Your friend,
Donald Miller
Whatever a Liberal is, I am not one. I have no discernable reason for being on this site.
@ Donald Miller wrote:
"Concerned, I sent her this email..."
And I chose to ignore it and the trees you hide behind.
Whatever the subterfuge employed, I cannot be courted by the duplicitous or disingenuous. I do not respond to self-serving compliments aiming to secure my favor and for how well it might serve the source of them, later on.
"I just received another reprimand notice.."
You've been asked repeatedly to stop using the blog to openly promote a site looking to draw people from this one, and yet continue to do so. Ignoring Roger's request. Going so far as to solicit individuals by name now while quoting a line from Taxi Driver - a film about a mentally unstable Vet - and specifically, from the scene where Travis is looking at himself in a mirror, imagining a confrontation which would give him an excuse to draw his gun.
And so yeah, backing away slowly, ya clueless basterd.
Forget about me. I'm unimportant.
But I believe this question is a valid one. If it isn't, I apologize in advance for taking up your time.
You were a professor for thirty-three years at a Chicago University. If a student asks: I have this notion that someone is showing up at an event purely for the purpose of self-promotion, and although I know there is no law against doing such a thing, I am going to report what I think she is up to. However, she is in my vicinity and I could ask her for an interview to find out what she has to say for herself? Should I just report what seems obvious to me, or should I ask this industrious young person for the interview that I’m obviously going to be given and ask her what her interest in independent film is and does she have any current or future plans regarding her involvement in independent filmmaking?
What say you, Professor Ebert?
Ebert: I'd say "you're Donald Miller," that's what I'd say.
This is your fifth post since I pointed out you haven't given us the URL for the web site you want to promote. Please post it. I imagine you're worked up some curiosity here.
I didn't read all 93 comments here, so apologies if this question is a repeat. I am wondering if you've seen 'the killer inside me' and if so, what are your thoughts?
I asked Roger if I could post an announcement for my web site, which mainly consisted of hard found information I wanted to share with others as a way of contributing to the internet and helping other people present their work whether they had a site or not. Marie, I am so depressed by your mocking of me and all the wasted time I put into my site.
God am I depressed. Do you have any regard whatsoever, for anyone's feelings but your own?
And to get shat upon twice is incredibly callous.
You're soliciting people inside Roger Ebert's Blog to visit your site so you can talk about some of the people who post in here? Including Roger himself? And using his blog to do it..?!
Wow.
Backing away slowly and making no sudden moves...
And about Hilton, I'm not saying anything I didn't say back in October. I don't know what changed Roger's mind in the interum.
I am so depressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just forget it. You're right and I'm wrong. Don't even bother answering the journalistic question I posed. What difference does it make?
I'm going back to bed.
-----------------
By CanInDeed on October 10, 2009 9:42 PM
I Love Paris Hilton in the Springtime
First, I have always held an affinity for the unappreciated, misunderstood, and downtrodden. [I know, this is where the side-splitting laughter begins. Well, I’m pressing on anyway. That’s what Paris would do.]
All the putdowns this young lady has received would turn me into even more of a recluse than I already am. But she doesn’t let it get the better of her.
I have embraced poverty—if anyone living in America can be considered as living in poverty. It’s easy to not care about money when you don’t have any. Which brings me to what I think lies at the core of the Hilton bashing—envy. As long as someone has their wealth through honest means, I think it’s immoral to wish they didn’t have a fine life just because I don’t have one.
I like the effort the girl has made. Notwithstanding the model-with-the-bad-posture photographs of her, this is one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen. She’s pretty to begin with, but the effort she has made to become the best she can be is even reflected in her overall appearance.
I she spoiled? Yes. Would she remain spoiled if she were mine? You bet. But why would she need someone who is not as smart as she is to do that for her? She’s smarter than ninety percent of the general public. She has done more in her life thus far than most people will ever do in theirs. And it is only the springtime of her life.
Ebert: I feel basically the same way.
Ebert: You still haven't posted the damn URL of your website.
Donald, Donald, DONALD.
DONALD!
How can you expect to be a famous gossip columnist when you don't even know who Gisele Zelauy is????
Gisele Zelauy just posted here, and Donald the gossip columnist doesn't even know who she is!
I know who Gisele Zelauy is! I love Gisele Zelauy! Gisele Zelauy is incredibly lovable! Anyone who knows Gisele Zelauy knows that! Paris Hilton is a pretender! Gisele never has to pretend! Read what Gisele Zelauy has to say, Donald! Look up who Gisele Zelauy is, Donald!
(and PS if America's foremost critic says enough is enough with the wearying cutesie pseudonyms and so on, I'd listen!)
Leave Britney alone!
Somehow, it seemed relevant.
Roger Ebert Said: It is possible that many of them won't ever open in most of the places you readers live, but you've impressed me with your resourcefulness in finding them anyway (and no, I don't mean piracy). You guys demonstrate that if you want to find a movie badly enough, you often can.
...
Average American moviegoers cheerfully buy tickets to movies they expect will be junk. But confront them with something that might be great and they start looking all alarmed.
To be honest, the more I get into trying to find movies I will enjoy, the more demystified film buffs seem to get. Is it really such an amazing thing to find an enjoyable movie? Now I have so many things I want to see, there just isn't enough time in the day to watch them all. Is it really the resourcefulness of film fans? Or is it the laziness of people who throw their arms in the air and say, "There's nothing to watch in theaters because there's no creativity left in film making!"?
Roger,
Absolutely brilliant blog. They don't make them like Redford anymore. Which of the new young stars could do what he did/does? Travel without a posse, spend his own money because he believes in the art form. God bless him and you too, Roger.
@ Kevin (Ket) wrote:
"Is it really the resourcefulness of film fans? Or is it the laziness of people who throw their arms in the air and say, "There's nothing to watch in theaters because there's no creativity left in film making!"?
I grew-up watching movies the old fashioned way; inside an actual theater. I loved the balcony best, and sitting just behind the railing as it provided me with an unobstructed view of the screen!
This was before the introduction of terrace style seating of course, which has since solved the problem of people's head blocking your view, etc. The seats are more comfy now, too. And there's greater leg room.
In a perfect world, someone would marry the best of the new with the older aesthetics still to be found in surviving movie palaces - like the Byrd Theatre in Richmond VA. And ushers would patrol the isles like they used to! (Take THAT cell phone user!) And the butter on the popcorn would be real! :)
But most of all, your choices would vary in terms of what you could see; as not everyone is a post-adolescent male looking to experience non-stop sensory overload.
Mind you that said, even if you could see a more eclectic offering it doesn't mean you'd be able to afford it all. You'd have to pick and choose, which is what people do and it leads to "weighing and measuring" the need to see a particular film inside a theater.
Star Wars? Yes.
My Dinner with Andre? Not necessarily.
I was born in 1964. And so I don't know quite how to work the math - as everything's relative. When people bought a ticket to the movies 40 years ago, in terms of income and spending power, was it less expensive to go?
Should a movie cost you $12.50 in 2010..? And what about cheap Tuesdays? $5.00 matinees!
If it's as cheap to see a movie as it is to rent a DVD... think of all the people who'd go back, eh?
Meanwhile, the price of a ticket plus the bad behavior of certain movie goers plus the extent to which a great deal is tailored for boys... it's long since driven me out of the theatre.
I still go, but it's usually with my friend Cheryl; Art House, Film Festival documentaries, stuff you make an exception for, like Harry Potter and Batman etc.
Otherwise, these days it's DVD's. The sheer convenience of which ironically allows me to watch a TON of movies!
I went to the library earlier to pick up Sherlock Holmes: The Scarlet Claw (1944) with Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce! Trailer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HGESZRExYU
Oooo, eh?!
But here's the thing - I'd love to see that stuff in an old-fashioned theater. I've also got "The Sweet Smell of Success" (1957) with Burt Lancaster and Tony Curtis from the library too...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtE8r-VTsPY
Anyhoo, all I know is what I like and prefer to see - and that I've figured out a way to enjoy it. Sometimes that means buying a movie ticket, and other times not.
Note: if I were God, countries would spend more on art than war. Movies would be free. Church and State would be separate in practice not just theory and so you'd get to see really intelligent stories full of context and stuff. Documentaries would be really popular. And seats would come complete with ejector-buttons so as to rid a screening of noisy teenagers without disturbing anyone; smile.
Marie,
I don’t like being defamed anymore than I like hearing someone else being defamed.
I state that if I was feeling down-and-out, I would want an encouraging word from someone. That was why I wrote you. If you want to imagine that I am a liar, then you are free to do so. But do not put words in my mouth. (I can put my foot in my mouth quite easily on my own, as I did with the ill-considered “Taxi Driver” reference.
This email to Roger was the inspiration for the ill-concieved comment: Ebert’s Twitters 142 and my email to Roger, Wed, Jan 20, 2010 11:42 PM about Mr Deniro and a time-saving computer tip.
With the tip I sent Roger and the message I sent you, I thought I was trying to make some friends. I am trying to make it through life with the limited tools that I have and the only way I know how. This is the benefit I give Ms Hilton: she doesn't know how to do things better or she would be doing so. (And I'm referring to her career as it pertains to film and not to her lifestyle.)
I made a stupid statement with the Taxi Driver comment and I apologize to you and Roger, and to everyone I else I have offended. I don't think you're on solid ground reading my mind and finding nothing good to say to or about me.
I thought the point of the “Fringe Thread” was that Right-wingers were wrong for making reckless claims. It just seems to me, that if you want to know why someone is doing what they're doing, you ask them. I've been to Limbaugh's site on numerous occasions and he reads the minds of Democrats all the time - and never finds anything good in them. (And there you have it, there's nothing good there because he says there isn't.) Well, I disagree with that approach to journalism. I thought we had settled that on the "Fringe Thread."
You can continue to say what you want about me on this site that recieves on average 200,000 hits per day, but I am not going to respond to any further personal attacks.
Hey, Tom,
(and PS if America's foremost critic says enough is enough with the wearying cutesie pseudonyms and so on, I'd listen!)
I hear ya. Consider it done.
I’ll have to get back with you on Gisele Zelauy, because I’m sprucing the site up a bit.
About the site. I had no idea that I was coming across like I’m interested in stealing anything from anybody. If there is anything on the site that needs to be removed or added, for a valid reason, I’m more than happy to comply. I want to contribute, not to take away.
I want to do the right thing, so if anyone points out where I can do something in a way that benefits eveyone, I’ll try my best to do it. What’s in it for me, regarding the site, is the satisfaction of contributing. I certainly don’t want to steal anything from anyone. Any and all suggestions are welcome. Only, please, speak to me the same way you would want someone to speak to you. And I’ll try to do the same. That’s all I ask.
And my bad! That's 24,725 hits per day Roger's site receives. If the 200,000 seemed a "tad" high to anyone, you were right--way off.
Ebert: How in heaven's name did you decide I get 24,725 hits a day? Try dividing 95 million by 365.
I guess I wouldn’t make a good gossip columnist. I had no luck finding who you are referring to, at least not in English. If you would be so kind, I could use some wise and friendly advice over an internet-related issue. Your sometimes clueless friend: donaldroymiller@netzero.com
Tom Dark,
The Donald Miller on January 28, 2010 8:32 AM posting refers to Gisele Zelauy and is to you.
Tom,
Who the heck is Gisele Zelauy?
Yikes!!! Some engineer I'd make. That's how spacecraft get slammed into the moon and Mars. I read it as 9 million.
This site gets 252,747 visits per day. And if I still got it wrong, I'm going to have to retake my GED.
...seriously, 95 million hits per year
Damn, you get about as many hits per year as there are people in the Philippines.
Grace Zelauy rocks!
The figure I used a little earlier was from the 92 million displayed on the top of this page. (I don't want to retake that GED. It was tough enough the first time.)
Thought you might want to know that there seems to be a glitch with the Sundance Institute link. I keep getting "Invalid URL."
So it seems that half of the comments here are about the festival, and half are by Donald Miller defending Paris Hilton.
...
Sorry, I needed to ponder that for a minute. Anyway, Roger, I'm just wondering when there will be more posts about the movies at Sundance (I have seen the post about Waiting for Superman).
I see that "It's a Wonderful Afterlife," the latest comedy from "Bend It Like Beckham" director-co-writer Gurinder Chadha, premiered this week at Sundance and so I'm looking forward to hearing what you thought of it!
Sally Hawkins (wonderful actress!) has a goofy part to play and based on the story outline, I gather it's a horror/comedy set in London's Indian community and about a mother's quest to see her daughter married. This somehow involves the dead victims of a serial killer who's on the loose, the tippin' of a hat to Stephen King, dancing, food and all kinds grisly stuff happening!
Official trailer! 0:52 sec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JM32fisPuU
It looks like a lot of fun and so I'm hoping we get it shortly after it's released in the UK - April 2nd - and they don't make us wait too long for it, the way they did "Bend it Like Beckham".
Note: Beckham was released in the UK in April 2002. Vancouver art house/festival theaters didn't get it until March 2003. Almost a year later.
Gasp.
I had a “Eureka,” Ross-Perot-moment recently: I don’t want the same things that I said and did a year ago to mean something different this year. My honor, integrity, moral character, and the like have been brought into question. From here on out, I want to make it abundantly clear that no one owes me anything, and I’ll pretend that I don’t owe anyone anything. Ross Perot was right--when you find yourself in over your head, STOP DIGGING! So there is no necessity for a URL, nor will there ever be one.
To paraphrase Voltaire, I am neither a Machiavellian, nor a criminal mastermind. I am not lurking in the bushes waiting to fulfill some long-term scheme for . . . we’ll whatever it’s supposed to be, I ain’t doing it. So there you have it - believe it or not - I say what I believe. Have I ever said anything that is self-serving? Of course, and more than once!! If you want to really impress me, show me one person on the planet who hasn’t. Okay, enough with that.
Tom Dark,
I see it’s 17 degrees in Chicago. I live in Florida and thought it was cold at 28, well it was—but 17, no thanks. (Not in a drafty mobile home, anyway.) What is it in your neck of the woods?
Donald! What it is in my neck of the woods isn't nearly so important as the astounding fact that you haven't found out who Gisele Zelauy is. Yes, you have wasted half a perfectly good blog about Sundance films meandering hypoglycemically about some girl you don't know, yet here is a real supermodel who has posted here, who not only knows this Paris Hilton but a whole host of such jet-setters, who has hundreds of pics on the net and film clips on youtube -- and you won't even say hello.
Donald, be honest and sincere. Do you require professional help? Sometimes your postings are simply too strange, and I'm not joking, quipping, or making anything but a concerned observation.
Thought you might want to know that there seems to be a glitch with the Sundance Institute link. I keep getting "Invalid URL."
SIGH. I typed in the wrong one. It's the NOT the Sundance Institute link that has the glitch. It's the Sundance web site that's got the glitch.
To john in denver who wrote: Grace Zelauy rocks!
That's what I hear, but who is she?
Everyone: CHECK OUT the link “Leave Britanney Alone” provided by Kevin (Ket) on January 27, 2010 4:43 PM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZAr9E8i3ng)
It is hilareous. Not exactly the point I was aiming at, but I was quite amused by Chris’s performance and that of his father’s. One has to hand it to them, they are resourceful entertainers. Sent it to Jimmey Kimmel 400 [many] times. How much money do you make from 29,336,155 views? I'm guessing it's a lot. Well, whatever they got, they deserved every penny of it. I’m still smiling.
Haven’t seen Kimmel in a while, but from that clip he still appears to be head and shoulders above Jay Leno in class, substance, and style.
Now, Donald. Copy this YouTube address, go to it, and scroll up to the 0:44 mark. 44 Seconds. There's a glimpse of our Gisele, doing a classy little spin in the latest fashion. Gisele Zelauy, about whom you have been so rude. So thoughtless. So uncouth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBlUNv-gh5A
To Tom Dark
Thanks for taking the time to point that link out to me. YES! That was a nice smile and a very lovely spin! I thought all the models were excellent. They didn’t have that Donald Trump school of modeling that has so ill-served P H. (However, if you were taught to pose like that from the time you were a little kid what else ya gonna do?) Those Perri Ellis models had more of the girl you’d like to have next door kind of friendly attitude that appeals to me. Something P H has when she isn’t posing.
I liked the quote from the designer: “I personally like everything that has a humor or a spirit in everything.” But I thought those clothes he designed SUCKED.
If you want a good laugh, go to that Leave Britney alone! link provided by Kevin (Ket) on January 27, 2010 4:43 PM. Man, I am telling you, looking at that guy was just like looking in a mirror. And the intensity and passion he displayed, as well as the way he expressed it was spot on.
: )
Have you been to Grace Wang’s site? She loves fashion, so some of it must be excellent. Grace is someone I like very much. Her motto is “The World is My Playground and Life is Pushing My Swing.” God, I love people who love life. I wish I loved it that much. Well, it’s nice seeing or reading what they have to say!
You’ll find the site by typing Etherial Musings into your search space.
Donald, Donald, Donald, Donalddd. No wonder Gisele hasn't returned. You've alienated her. She has much happier people to write to. You can't say anything nice without dribbling a blob of high fructose dismissiveness all over it.
Skipping over the first presumptions, I'll mention that since I now know about modeling, not only don't you have a CLUE what Gisele went through, you embarrass yourself every time your foot comes out of your mouth to make up something halitoxic to say.
Please excuse Donald, Giselemmmm my scrumptuousmm moom moom moom xoxoxoxXOXOXOX.
By way of apology for Donald having driven this thread so awry, Roger, I'll sponsor a contest in your name. I myself will provide the Shiny New Dime, plus postage, shipped directly to you to dole out to the winner. Here is the contest:
Oh, yogurt mama! Don't you Gaylord Hauser me!
Oooh, yogurt mama! Don't you Gaylord Hauser me!
Who sang that? Ten cents reward.
Ebert: Vaughn Monroe!
The more I think about it, the more I am intrigued by this “Armless” idea. John Aston – once the president of the Screen Actor’s Guild – stated that he was “convinced the world is a madhouse and everyone is simply faking sanity.”
So we enter the world of this fellow who has the idea that he’d be better off armless. This would make opening the refrigerator door and fetching a snack from it a bit of a challenge, but I suppose it could be done: if you don’t mind spending the majority of your time devising ingenious ways of fixing meals and taking a shower. And I don’t even want to think about this guy driving a car, especially if I’m in the oncoming lane of traffic.
Okay, so it’s one thing to have fun imagining you’re “an amputee wannabe,” while it’s quite another actually doing it. Not a very good way to fake sanity.
There’s an old saying that goes, “When the gods want to punish you, they answer your prayers.”If this prayer is answered, this fellow is in for quite an ordeal. Part two of this film sounds like it would be better than part one.
Oh, yogurt mama! Don't you Gaylord Hauser me!
Oooh, yogurt mama! Don't you Gaylord Hauser me!
Who sang that? Ten cents reward.
Ebert: Vaughn Monroe!
---Close, but you're thinking of "Racing with the Moon," which is worth only eight cents. The prize now goes up to eleven cents!
Ebert: Snooky Lanson!
I most certainly did not “wasted half a perfectly good blog about Sundance films meandering hypoglycemically about some girl you don't know”. What I did, sir, was stand up for another human being who has been made the poster child of spite and envy! Some of these threads have thousands of entries. I took up no more space than a pitance. No one was prohibited from posting because of my concerns.
If you can stand idly by while someone calls an innocent person who has done them no harm, “A parasite on the ass of a dog. . . ,” Then I submit that it is YOU who requires professional help.
You can't say anything nice without dribbling a blob of high fructose dismissiveness all over it.
I don’t know, or care, what you are talking about, because I did no such thing.
you embarrass yourself every time your foot comes out of your mouth to make up something halitoxic to say.
The embaracement that I brought upon myself and the ridicule I have received is nothing compared to the treatment the people I respect most have received for speaking out on something they are concerned about. And I am concerned about people focusing what I consider to be inappropriate attention on a single person as if she is a symbol for what is wrong with our popular culture, making her a possible target for the likes of David Chapman or that monster who murdered that young actress from “My Sister Sam.” This is an environment where even the President of United States’ wife is receiving death threats. If this makes ME a nut, then fine I’m a nut. Big deal. You might have heard of those evil bleeding heart liberals who actually care about other human beings, [now I’m starting to sound like that guy in that video]
I am two names on a screen. Donald Miller. Ewhhh, that makes me so brave, so valient, so Machiavelian. My site no longer exists. I have moved on. It is as unimportant as I am. I can deal with it.
So basically what I am saying, Tom, is “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.” [And yes, I would be brave enough to say that to your face.] I said it to a 250 pound Marine once, toe-to-toe. I suppose he had better things to do with his life than spending it in prison for murdering me, so he walked off.
Sincerely yours,
Your friend, Don (A reasonably happy fellow with a sense of humor.)
PS: I don’t want to contribute any further to your misfortunes or my own, so this is my final vist to this thread. If you want to email me back with a “fuck you too,” you have my email.
But that is it for my site. It’s been a real eye-opener. Why I would want to perform what amounts to a public service on a site with no advertisements does indeed, I now realize, suggest that I require “professional help.”
Ebert: Donald, your general movie comments are perfectly fine. Why work up a lather about your site, which you have essentially banned all of us from? There are a lot of sites on the web, but never before one I have read so much about without being able to share the URL.
Post Script for Context
My email to Roger on the 18th:
I began working on my site again today. Then I began to have second thoughts. As you know, maintaining a decently good site is a lot of work. There is no point in it if no one knows about it. One of the purposes of the site is to furnish information. I have spent a great deal of time finding resources for myself—decent ones aren’t so easy to find, and I’m happy to share them with others. I want to contribute in a positive manner.
. . .
I just believe that providing links and information to people is the right thing to do in this atmoshphere, because if people want to be as ignorant as many did on the “Fringe” thread, they will be willfully ignorant. I’ll even post the contract the Haitians made with the devil on my site if Robertson can produce it. I’m all for letting the facts
speak for themselves.
When you have time, the link is: [Deleted]
Roger’s reply:
Donald,
Why don't you send in a post about your site, and include it in the provided place in the message header?
Cheers,
R
So, Tom,you can stick that dime where the sun don’t “shine.”
And don't worry, Roger, I get the idea. You can chase me off the site, so that you can say, "I never banned anyone from my site." Well, I wouldn't want to make you "happy people" miserable with my presense anyway. That's one thing I can do to make the world a better place.
I have run out of teeth and stamina. Roger, just because you keep saying the same thing over and over again doesn’t make it factual.
You have gotten me in a lather. (Make that “had.” I’m too exhausted to be angry.)
My first (attempt) to announce and post the URL was: Learner on December 24, 2009 8:37 AM
Ebert: . . . It's still under construction, so I have helpfully altered the URL to reveal that all you have so far achieved is to find a free website-creation service.
I emailed you the same URL and mentioned that you’d find what you needed on the thin menu bar at the top of it’s Home Page, which is the first page you go to. You emailed me back saying I was off to quite a start. But you made no retraction over stepping on my first attempt at announcing the site. I emailed . . . etc, etc.
Now I’m in the position that if I post the URL again, this was all part of a grande scheme to draw attention to it. That is not the case. All that rubbish about me sending someone an email who is so cynical that thinks even though I live in Florida and she lives in Canada that somehow. . . Whatever!
I meant what I said, I think her paintings were getting better and better, and I even downoaded the one I liked most and the Hey! Roger! caraciture to my hard drive. I have since deleted them from my hard drive. Okay. I have jumped through every hoop. Tom Dark announced his site a month ago. Snippy the Internet Columnist announced his four months ago. I first made mine and THEN I announced it.
If I was some kind of genious marketing strategist, I’d be spending my time making the big bucks. My site has no advertising on it. (And I know what’s coming next: Ahh, but once your conspiracy has been realized, you will put advertising on it and . . . whatever.)
Roger, just go to the damn site, and if you don’t like it, I’ll pull the damn plug on it. Fair enough? At this point all the pleasure in it has been drained from me.
My God, all I did was try to announce a site that I had the best of intentions with and stand up for someone who everyone else was knee-jerkingly degrading. I offered to do whatever was needed to make the site beneficial to everyone, and my motives were consistently and cynically challenged.
It didn’t need to turn into this soap opera.
TOM and ROGER,
I know exactly what you are referring to with the Dime Contest. I have repeatedly said on this blog that I made “a horse’s ass statement.”
And the thing about some of my comments being how should I say, eccentric. I thought the idea of a good movie is that the person is better at the end of the movie than they were at the beginning of it.
Ebert: I went to the damn site. There's no page there.
Snooky Lanson?
Always wondered where 'snooky' came from. Thought it might have originated from a child born on a particular type of billiard table with small pockets. But checking with the Urban Dictionary(rapidly emerging as my new bible), they state these 3 options:1. Slang for an asshole Englishman 2. Nickname for an alien known as Noogams with a chainsaw hand who suffers from halitosis. 3.The common booger
None of these options seem appropriate for Mr. Lanson. Anyone have any provable data on how our Snooky picked up his handle?
Bonus Question: Who sang "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?" on the old 'My Hit Parade' TV show, Dorothy or Giselle? Or was it a rumored guest appearance by Patti Page herself?
Verification please. No guessing!
The winner will get my promised, but as yet unclaimed, copy of the late Mr. Legman's highly sought after, yet reportedly obscene classic, "The Limerick."
Ebert: That reminds me!
I finally dug out those Edward Lear lithographs and WILL mail the prizes.
@ Tom Dark wrote:
"Who sang that? Ten cents reward. *The prize now goes up to eleven cents!"
Oooo! A contest! (Jumping up and down!)
I think...
"Oh, yogurt mama! Don't you Gaylord Hauser me!
Oooh, yogurt mama! Don't you Gaylord Hauser me!"
...are lyrics from a song called:
"Wide-Screen Mama Blues" by Stan Freberg.
Ebert: It's wonderful the things we walk around with in our heads. :)
Brave Donald! What things to say to me! For I weigh 251.62 pounds and am a... what's the next step in toughness above "Marine"? I have been known to step up to the plate like a good neighbor for an old-fashioned applaudable homicide.
But Marines have honor. That 250-pound Marine knew what I know: murder won't help you, Donald! Only you can help yourself. You have been chasing all the women away from here in favor of your imagination.
Oh, he just got back from the Isle of Skye,
He's not very big and he's awfully shy
The ladies shout as he goes by
Donald where's your trousers? (tr. scottish ballad)
Your imagination is not nearly so interesting to us as real women are, Donald! We haven't nearly enough women writers contributing to these threads. It is inconvenient that you choose not to know what I'm talking about.
And now, to jolly topics:
Oh, yogurt mama! Don't you Gaylord Hauser me!
Oooh, yogurt mama! Don't you Gaylord Hauser me!
Mr. Ebert has guessed Snooky Lanson, coming yet closer to the correct answer. So close, I suspect he knows who sang that song but is playing along for other contributors' sakes, despite the fact that the prize is now up to twelve cents.
Think of it: in addition to a dime polished vigorously by the very fingers that type these invectives defending all women against Donald sans his trousers, I've added two copper-colored coins depicting Abe Lincoln in front of his cabin doing something only a magnifying glass could, or should, discern!
Check the internet all you like. You won't find the performer/composer of this great old song there, unless you already know who it is. Yet this person has had more celebrity than Snooky Lanson. S/he has many millions of fans who never did learn her/his name. Any more hints and I'll give it away.
And Donald? These coins are of such lustre, they'll shine anywhere they're placed!
Donald Miller said: maintaining a decently good site is a lot of work. There is no point in it if no one knows about it.
The way I understood it, personal websites were largely personal affairs and having readers who were interested enough to leave comments is just a bonus.
Marie! The Winner! And it's now TWELVE CENTS! Let's sort this out later I just got back from Abiquiu, hide-out of Georgia O'Keefe and got caught in a blizzard on the highway and am frazzled and too tired to think. XOXOXOXOXOXOX
@ Tom Dark wrote:
"Marie! The Winner! And it's now TWELVE CENTS!"
I WON! Really?!
Score! :)
Ebert wrote: It's wonderful the things we walk around with in our heads. :)
Oh that's not where I found it, chuckle! I Google'd the lyrics and followed the clues until I arrived at Stan Freberg.
Ta DA!
Miss Marple strikes again. :)
Grin.
(I want my MONEY!)
John in Denver: "Snooky" is a Yiddish term of endearment. If I remember correctly it's a dimunition of the German "Schatze," "my love," which playfully got turned into "Schnatzie" for little kids and from there, "Schnooky," and into "Schnook," too, as in the condescending "don't be such a schnook." References? 2nd or 3rd gen. Jewish friends who still know some Yiddish and German friends who still call their kids "schnatzie."
Marie! And I thought I had made my quiz Marie-proof. I couldn't find Stan Freberg through just that line I used. I see too that you speak truly, as I didn't post the giveaway line on Roger's Philip-Seymour-Hoffman-Chicago-theater entry until after you'd already found it.
So. Uh. About that twelve cents. Here's the thing, see. I had that twelve cents. I really did. It was in the zipper pocket of my old Banana Republic jacket. I was saving it.
But what happened was I drove up to Abiquiu, see. That's in New Mexico. As I said, that's where Georgia O'Keefe used to live and hide out and paint. You've seen Georgia O'Keefe's paintings, haven't you? Pretty cool, huh?
Her stuff is great. But what I don't understand is why there's almost none of her stuff in the Georgia O'Keefe museum in downtown Santa Fe. You pay nine bucks to get in, and where's all the Georgia O'Keefe paintings? Hardly any. All this other stuff instead. Some of it's nice, but some of it, you wonder.
You wonder if the reason it's there is because nobody'd actually have it in their house. If that's the case, why not call the show "Paintings people wouldn't actually have in their houses"?
Oops, there's the phone. Back later. XOXOXOX
Ebert: It's wonderful the things we walk around with in our heads. :)
---Cartoonist Bill Griffith thought that the tune going around in your head had a symbolic meaning -- sort like the songs on the radio in John Carpenter's version of Stephen King's "Christine."
Here's what's been going in and out of mine almost daily for nearly 2 years:
With big hungry tigers table manners have no place!
Dear dear dear no dear dear no no dear dear no dear no!
After they have eaten you they never say their grace!
Dear dear dear no dear dear no no dear dear no dear no!
Hun-ting ti-gers can be ripping fun!
Like three blind mice see the hunters run!
Hunnnnnting tiiiiiigers out in India!
Out in, out in, out in India! Yah!
They bite! They scratch! They make an awful fuss!
It's no use stroking them and saying "puss puss puss!"
Hunnnnnting tiiiiiigers out in India!
Out in, out in, out in India! Yah!
All the verses have been going through my head. But there's a method in my madness. One of these days I might get around to recording a version of it myself. It's from the 1920s. See "Bonzo Dog Band" on YouTube for the second version of it ever recorded.
Ebert: I immediately stopped reading. I don't want that in my head. Remember Mark Twain's story about the guy who got rid of the jingle in his head by passing it on to a train conductor?
Holy crap! I just made it to this page and clearly someone's lost the plot a bit. I'm glad I was late in arriving, but should I have been here from the beginning, I would've done exactly the same thing Marie did - backed away, only I would've done it fast.
Indian Idiot (H.W.)
P.S. I know not only what he's doing, but also why he's doing it. I don't think it's at all nice and request that he desist, not that little people like meself have much sway over such a multitudinous grandee.
@ Tom Dark wrote:
"So. Uh. About that twelve cents. Here's the thing, see. I had that twelve cents. I really did. It was in the zipper pocket of my old Banana Republic jacket. I was saving it...."
WHAT?!
There's no money?!!
(Marie's gaze narrows as she stares without blinking at her monitor screen.)
It took me 15 minutes to find the answer! I demand compensation! Yeah! Compensation!
My right foot hurts; I know why and what it is -
I have a stupid heel spur and plantar fasciitis.
Sigh; seems "regular sneakers" aren't good enough to climb mountain trails, dammit. I've had it for a while, but now it's really bugging me.
And yes, I'm stretching the calf muscle and doing all the exercise stuff. And yes I'm trying not to walk "too" much on it. But I need a heel spur insole for my shoe. And there's like a Ba-zillion to choose from, all promising to help relieve the pain. I just bought one - "Dr. Scholls" and it's not good enough; doesn't do what I want it to.
And so here's your mission, Tom Dark:
I want YOU to find out which one, is the best one to use, so I don't keep buying stupid lame stuff!
I want a REALLY thick cushy heel, but with a soft center so it'll "give way" under the spur and not press against the tender spot.
A foot has 3 arches:
- Medial Longditudinal arch (the biggest and most recognizable arch, along the inner side of the foot);
- Lateral Longditudinal arch (smaller arch along the outer side of the foot);
- Transverse arch (across the front part of the foot, underneath. It's the palm of your foot.)
And ideally, you want an insole that takes advantage of those dudes to help your foot - by supporting the 3 arches so "you" end-up pressing down "less" on the stupid heel spur.
So far, I can't find an insole like that. I know; go figure. I can find Stan Freberg but I can't find exactly what I want to stick in my right shoe! And I'm tired of looking - the internet is for downloading cool stuff; not looking at feet! Chuckle!!
You owe me TWELVE CENTS worth of looking for a heel spur insole! So get cracking, Dark.
Smile.
To Tom Dark --- "---Cartoonist Bill Griffith thought that the tune going around in your head had a symbolic meaning -- sort like the songs on the radio in John Carpenter's version of Stephen King's "Christine."
Here's what's been going in and out of mine almost daily for nearly 2 years---"
Nice.
I see your Carpenter and King and raise you Lumet and Shaffer -
"Double your pleasure, double your fun!
With double good, double good double mint gum!
Double your pleasure, double your fun!
With double good, double good double mint gum!
Try the taste of Martini, the most beautiful drink in the world!
It's the bright one! The ruh-hight one! That's Martini!
There's only one T in Typhoo-ooooo!
In packets and in teabags too!
Any way you make it, you'll know that it's truuuuu!
There's only one T in Typhoo!
He was born in the straw
and this was his laaaa-aw!"
MD: You ask him a question. "Does the chain hurt?"
AS: Yes.
MD: Do you ask him aloud?
AS: No.
MD: And what does the horse say back?
AS: Yes.
MD: What do you say?
AS: I'll take it out for you
MD: And he says?
AS: "It never comes out. They have me in chains."
MD: Like Jesus?
AS: Yes.
MD: Only his name is not Jesus, is it?
AS: No.
MD: What is it?
AS: It's Equus. Equus.
MD: Does he live in all horses, or just some?
AS: All.
MD: Good. Now you leave the beach, you're in your bedroom at home, you're twelve years old, you're looking at Equus from the foot of the bed. Would you like to kneel down?
AS: Yes.
MD: Go on then. Now tell me, why is Equus in chains?
AS: For the sins of the world.
MD: What does he say to you?
AS: I see you. I will save you.
MD: How?
AS: Bear you away, two shall be one.
MD: Horse and rider shall be one beast?
AS: One person. And my chinkle-chankle shall be in thy hand.
MD: Chinkle-chankle that's his mouth-chain?
AS: Yes.
MD: You can get up now. Now tell me, what is the stable? His temple? His holy of holies?
AS: Yes.
MD: Will you wash him, tend him and brush him with many brushes?
AS: Yes.
MD: And there he spoke to you didn't he? He looked at you with his gentle eyes and he spake unto you.
AS: Yes.
MD: What did he say? Ride me? Mount me and ride me forth at night?
AS: Yes.
MD: And you obeyed?
AS: Yes.
MD: How did you learn? By watching others?
AS: Yes.
MD: Must've been difficult. You bounced about?
AS: Yes.
MD: But he taught you didn't he? Equus showed you the way.
To Roger - "A Literary Nightmare" Mark Twain story that is and when you say "A Literary Nightmare" I know you mean only that.
"My tools are very delicate. My compassion is honest. I've honestly assisted children in this room. I've talked away terrors, relieved many agonies, but beyond question, I have cut from them portions of individuality, repugnant to this God, Normal, in all its aspects and at what length? Sacrifices to Zeus took at the most 60 seconds each, sacrifices to the Normal, can take as much as....sixty months." Peter Shaffer.
As I said on another thread about EOnline saying Gibson took a sip from his coffee cup and said, a-- h---. Just because it's in a coffee cup, doesn't mean it's coffee. Well to quote another greatly understood man, "You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore."
Ebert: Dean Richards, the journalist involved, was asking perfectly legitimate questions.
@ Tom Dark "With big hungry tigers table manners have no place!
Dear dear dear no dear dear no no dear dear no dear no!
After they have eaten you they never say their grace!
Dear dear dear no dear dear no no dear dear no dear no!
Hun-ting ti-gers can be ripping fun!
Like three blind mice see the hunters run!
Hunnnnnting tiiiiiigers out in India!
Out in, out in, out in India! Yah!
They bite! They scratch! They make an awful fuss!
It's no use stroking them and saying "puss puss puss!"
Hunnnnnting tiiiiiigers out in India!
Out in, out in, out in India! Yah!"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4415929.stm
Tigers are an endangered species teeterin' on the brink of extinction, but nobody likes a killjoy, so I'm jumpin' into the fray with a heart yay -
Hunt the tigers. Yay!
If not all the tigers, at least kill one tiger.
If killin's not to your likin' at least badly maim the tiger. Yeah, disfigure the tiger yeah, disfigure it badly, at least do that, teach that ill mannered beast a good lesson and no fake Chinese or Siberian tiger neither, make sure it is a original certified Indian tiger.
Let's go git that tiger Tom, shall we arrange a date and a place? I'm sure you're eager, I know I am. We'll start by pulling its claws out, no more scratchin' then. We'll have to do sumthin' about the bitin' also, we could tranquilize it and then hammer a few of the tiger's teeth out, we'll at least have to do all the incisors and if the tranquilizer's strong enough, it might even stop makin' a big fuss.
Why shouldn't a tiger give in to every one of our ways? A tiger has no right to its own way. Harrrummmppph. The very thought makes me sick. What bilious hippie Buddhist non-sense. A tiger's own way. Hah. If I can't pet it, or cook it, it has no right to exist. All these "born free" people are goddam sissies. We can't have nuthin' to do with 'em. If it won't accept our help by way of domesticatin' let's go huntin'.
let's go git ourselves some tiger meat.
Ebert: I immediately stopped reading. I don't want that in my head. Remember Mark Twain's story about the guy who got rid of the jingle in his head by passing it on to a train conductor?
---Yup. But I've found that any story about typhus is truer when it comes to catching a "haunting melody." For that reason I don't ever want to know how "Tippy Tippy Tin" goes.
---My dad liked to whistle while he worked in his beloved workshop. As a boy, I liked to play around with woodscraps and such as he did; all he ever whistled were "Cielito Lindo" and "See the USA in Your Chevrolet." They've never stuck in my head, but I admit to a welling eye when I hear "Cielito Lindo." I'd have to go hunting for the other one.
Marie! Marie! Marie! Maybe these:
http://profootcare.com/p-triad-go.html?gclid=COuW4_e4258CFQYXagodlCDUGQ
Drink lots of cranberry juice too -- it's good for more than just the whatchamacallits. Also Catt says: http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/index.html -- the combination of oils called "RC" works good, she says. I don't know about this stuff. I never use anything.
Of course I'm good for the 12 cents. I was just trying to think up a rambling, rambling story full of teetering irrelevancies before I finally got to the part where I needed it for change for a cigar, but I ran out of steam. You took up the slack just fine. But you'll have to wait until I break a dollar bill again. Uh oh, a haunting melody...
"Get outta here, get me some money too..."
Uh oh, a strang man named Allan Strang has butted in with another one. Plus an inchoate dialogue clearly not from "Frownland," which I was digging around for last night. Oh no! Another haunting line:
"My smile is stuck! I cannot go back to your Frownland!" Captain Beefheart.
Ah, HW! Have you yet read the poetry of Robin Whither, at the "making out" thread? Yes, Robin, who is obviously a male, writes very well and with unmistakable masculinity! Plainly, he is a he, not a bit like a she. Now, one will have to study Marie's postings better to see the difference.
Tom said: "Ah, HW! Have you yet read the poetry of Robin Whither, at the "making out" thread? Yes, Robin, who is obviously a male, writes very well and with unmistakable masculinity! Plainly, he is a he, not a bit like a she."
Wait a minute Tom..checking..
..read it, I agree with Roger, the first one is nice, but as I think Roger might be given to agree, it is no comparison to Byron, of whom I am an admirer.
It would certainly seem this Robin person is a male from the second rather frivolous ditty, but then again it could be a (excuse the pun) Tom-boyish butch lesbian woman, who has strapped a prosthetic one on, who knows why? Maybe it is to fit in, maybe it is to clamour to be heard over all the other phallic bedlam emanating from these threads, woven so lovingly by our esteemed and beloved critic friend, who incidentally is also male. As far as this Whither character's gender is concerned, you'd have to ask him/her.
I think both these two guys above, sound like their namesakes, juvenile and delusional. I wonder what this Hunter guy has against Indian tigers, if he's being funny, I don't get it.
I have to admit, I did think your tiger rhyme above a tad out of character, you, the very carnation (oops..mala-something) of Captain Beefheart, a friend and lover of horses.. It's of course as is usually the case with you, very funny, but I think you ruffled a few feathers with it, can't see why.
Indian Idiot (H.W.)
Darling, I hope my dream never haunted you.
Sam M Lewis
@ Tom Dark wrote:
"Ah, HW! Have you yet read the poetry of Robin Whither, at the "making out" thread? Yes, Robin, who is obviously a male, writes very well and with unmistakable masculinity! Plainly, he is a he, not a bit like a she. Now, one will have to study Marie's postings better to see the difference."
Does that mean I don't sound like a girl when you read my posts? Chuckle!
H.W., how many tigers can you find with forks and serviettes? Dear dear dear no dear dear no no dear dear no dear none. They don't care in which part of you they put their Brentworth sets! Dear dear dear no dear dear no no dear dear no dear no.
Tigers don't go out on rainy nights. They've no need to whet their appetites! In short, HW, hunting tigers out in Indiah, out in, out in, out in Indiah. Now let's see if this contagion has spread to Roger, who expected this no more than he would have the Spanish Inquisition!
Then, in his eloquence, he could explain how it is such a song would get stuck in the mind, despite one's scruples about extincting certain animals.
To wit, what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetrye? As to Captain Beefheart, pair o' pliers roll roots gnawed sun like a bubble pop yellow down she go.
And now, Marie! I've been meaning to tell you for two days: Jenn turned Brad's old bathroom into a personal spa! That's being resourceful! But over at Brad's, Angelina said that if Brad goes back to Jenn, she'll kill herself! The photograph looked like she really meant it.
So. Is Robin Whither around? What do you think about this, Robin? Let's talk about it while sewing. Here's a needle and thread. And here's a ball of yarn. Catch.
Tom said: "H.W., how many tigers can you find with forks and serviettes?"
Didn't you know Tom, "Finger-food" is usually the norm in India?
Tom also said: "..what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetrye?"
Perhaps that of the same extraneous dimwit who tells tall tales, full of sound and fury?
Indian Idiot (H.W.)
P.S. I think you may find Indian tygers are that rare breed of cat, which rather enjoys playing in water, maybe it's the heat of the tropics, maybe they lose some of their scent in it..go-ogle it, maybe it's true after all.
I just saw "Fish Tank". It is devastating. I have been not only in that one, but in ones far worse.
I didn't know where to post this. Sorry.
Tom, I just thought up a rhyme too -
how I wish, wish, wish
like a fish, fish, fish
to flow, flow, flow
in the Orinoco.
Indian Idiot (H.W.)
That's a wonderful rhyme, H.W.!
I ALMOST thought of a whole rhyme, but I got only this far:
Hey, hey, hey,
There's a face in the bidet.
Tom said: "That's a wonderful rhyme, H.W.!"
Thank you kindly Tom.
It is rarely bidets or their facial reflections make an appearance in rhyme, being as they are exposed to only one shy face at a time. I take it you are shouldering this most enviable and fiendishly demanding task, of which a person of such limited capabilities as I would most certainly fall short.
I look forward to the remainder, which I am sure you shall relish completing.
Indian Idiot (H.W.)
Very well, H.W., I shall endeavor to perservere to apply the bidet to poetic tonsoritude.
THE FACE ON THE BIDET FLOOR
'TWAS a balmy summer evening, and a goodly crowd was there,
Which well-nigh filled Joe's barroom, on the corner of the square;
And as songs and witty stories came through the open door,
A vagabond crept slowly in and posed upon the floor.
"Where did it come from?" someone said. " The wind has blown it in."
"What does it want?" another cried. "Some whiskey, rum or gin?"
"Here, Toby, sic 'em, if your stomach's equal to the work --
I wouldn't touch him with a fork, he's filthy as a Turk."
This badinage the poor wretch took with stoical good grace;
In face, he smiled as tho' he thought he'd struck the proper place.
"Come, boys, I know there's kindly hearts among so good a crowd --
To be in such good company would make a deacon proud.
"Give me a drink -- that's what I want -- I'm out of funds, you know,
When I had cash to treat the gang this hand was never slow.
What? You laugh as if you thought this pocket never held a sou;
I once was fixed as well, my boys, as any one of you.
"There, thanks, that's braced me nicely; God bless you one and all;
Next time I pass this good saloon I'll make another call.
Give you a song? No, I can't do that; my singing days are past;
My voice is cracked, my throat's worn out, and my lungs are going fast.
"I'll tell you a funny story, and a fact, I promise, too.
Say! Give me another whiskey, and I'll tell what I'll do --
That I was ever a decent man not one of you would think;
But I was, some four or five years back. Say, give me another drink.
"Fill her up, Joe, I want to put some life into my frame --
Such little drinks to a bum like me are miserably tame;
Five fingers -- there, that's the scheme -- and corking whiskey, too.
Well, here's luck, boys, and landlord, my best regards to you.
"You've treated me pretty kindly and I'd like to tell you how
I came to be the dirty sot you see before you now.
As I told you, once I was a man, with muscle, frame, and health,
And but for a blunder ought to have made considerable wealth.
"I was a painter -- not one that daubed on bricks and wood,
But an artist, and for my age, was rated pretty good.
I worked hard at my canvas, and was bidding fair to rise,
For gradually I saw the star of fame before my eyes.
"I made a picture perhaps you've seen, 'tis called the 'Chase of Fame.'
It brought me fifteen hundred pounds and added to my name,
And then I met a woman -- now comes the funny part --
With eyes that petrified my brain, and sunk into my heart.
"Why don't you laugh? 'Tis funny that the vagabond you see
Could ever love a woman, and expect her love for me;
But 'twas so, and for a month or two, her smiles were freely given,
And when her loving lips touched mine, it carried me to Heaven.
"Boys, did you ever see a girl for whom your soul you'd give,
With a form like the Milo Venus, too beautiful to live;
With eyes that would beat the Koh-i-noor, and a wealth of chestnut hair?
If so, 'twas she, for there never was another half so fair.
"I was working on a portrait, one afternoon in May,
Of a fair-haired boy, a friend of mine, who lived across the way.
And Madeline admired it, and much to my surprise,
Said she'd like to know the man that had such dreamy eyes.
"It didn't take long to know him, and before the month had flown
My friend had stole my darling, and I was left alone;
And ere a year of misery had passed above my head,
The jewel I had treasured so had tarnished and was dead.
"That's why I took to drink, boys. Why, I never see you smile,
I thought you'd be amused, and laughing all the while.
Why, what's the matter, friend? There's a tear-drop in your eye,
Come, laugh like me. 'Tis only babes and women that should cry.
"Say, boys, if you give me just another whiskey I'll be glad,
And I'll draw right here a picture of the face that drove me mad.
Give me that piece of chalk with which you mark the baseball score --
You shall see the lovely Madeline upon the bidet floor."
Another drink, and with chalk in hand, the vagabond began
To sketch a face that well might buy the soul of any man.
Then, as he placed another lock upon the shapely head,
With a fearful shriek, he leaped and fell across the picture -- dead.
Tom sang: "The Face On The Bidet Floor"
APPLAUSE!
ENCORE! ENco..hang on a second..
methinks you've rejigged and retold the tale of Falstaff the wastrel. Fie Dark! Fie! I thought you'd be more original, that was certainly what your first rhyme suggested..
Try again?
:)
P.S. Also, you could have tried a tad harder to find a bidet, not what seems to be a commode..tut tut..although..I will concede this, a commode is more accommodating of excrementitious material. LOL.
Here's another little one for you Tom -
I may well call someone sweet,
I don't have to share their sheet
what's pilloried as o'er saccharine romantic caricature,
might lack even the hint of an overture
I'd write a longer rhyme,
if I felt like wasting time.
Indian Idiot (H.W.)
Rather dead for a ducat,
than fish in a filthy golden bucket
you can keep your taming collar,
I don't want your fame or your dollar
you act as though you're my creditor,
what say you now editor?
(As it turns out I did have a little time to waste + I felt like playing around with parentheses)
Indian Idiot (H.W.)
HW, I confess I did not write that poem. It was written by America's Poet Laureate Joseph Biden. He is now busy with affairs of state.
I must also confess I am not sure what else you are getting at here. Does this mean that you have made some money and aren't going to give me any?
If so, it's time to quote Joseph Biden's favorite fable:
Dame Fortune and the Traveller
A Weary Traveller who had lain down and fallen asleep on the brink of a deep well was discovered by Dame Fortune.
"If this fool," she said, "should have an uneasy dream and roll into the well men would say that I did it. It is painful to me to be unjustly accused, and I shall see that I am not."
So saying she rolled the man into the well.
(Watched "Twilight Samurai" last night, Rodge. Really good.)
I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.
That great baby you see there is not yet out of his swaddling-clouts.
Buz, buz!
Do you think I meant country matters?
Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would write my song, you would seem to know my pain, you would pluck out the heart of my mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass: and there is much music, excellent voice in this little oscen: yet cannot you make it sing? 'Sblood do you think my song easy as a raven's? Call me what bird you will, though you can trap me, yet sing you cannot make me.
I couldn't..make you a wholesome answer; my wit's diseased: but, such answer as I could make, you did command –
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237238239240241242243244245246247248249250251252253254255
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Whoa..I think I just had my finger up my nose and I blacked out a little, Homer would tell you that this is a frequent consequence of pushing colourful objects such as crayons or mischievous fingers into dimly lit places, I am also told it can be a lot of fun, how strange I don't seem to recall it. Was I quoting Shakespeare again? I think I might have been.
Anyway, Tom, you're giving up so easily?
Is it only a thing,
pretty without a sting
which you would write,
or for which fight?
What song would you sing,
maybe one from which ears do not ring?
Yes Tom, how right you are, mine are indeed pauperous wiles, I haven't yet advanced and maybe I lack the will to will myself to't, however, should an angel of mercy drop a bucket of gold, or maybe a few in my lap (once the fractures are healed), you can be sure that you shan't be forgotten, for you are an oasis in a vacuum, a fount of wisdom in a forest of dry sticks and lean asses, what weary and thirsty traveller approaching the end wouldn't wish to drink of't? The only apposite answer to this question could I somehow suspect be gotten from any Hindu descendant, or for that matter, Zoroastrian, for some things elemental still are and should be considered holy.
I know of a poet of quite some might,
perhaps on certain maladies he can shed some light
which before the question ask'd the answer known afore,
I suspect fortune's gritty realism might adoor
would he know a bight,
who knows not what's right?
Here are two lines from said poet –
Though cold like you, unmov'd, and silent grown,
I have not yet forgot myself to stone.
Yes, HW, I concede. You have won. To say less would be prevaricating. You are the victor in this keenly fought round. Not that I concede for all time, you understand.
I had to look up "oscen." I know in my heart that I myself would never have thought to use the word "oscen" in a sentence. I have been humbled, like that drunken samurai in that movie the other night. To make an oscen parry never would have occurred to me, and so I concede. I have been humbled with a great welt upon my head.
Be proud. For many a capricious, presumptuous wordslinger hath fallen ignoninimiously... ingannamnimously... decapricsiously... beneath even my misspellings.
Ah, you shame me good Tom. I'd rather we not joust, for I consider you the superior.
There is historical precedent for making oscen parry -
"Chirian te mein baaz tudaun,
Gidran to mein sher banaun,
Sawa lakh se ek ladaun,
Tabe Gobind singh Naam kahaun."
Rough translation -
"When sparrows break hawks,
hyenas are made lions,
one warrior equals 1,25,000,
so is known my name Gobind Singh"
That is I suspect a very poor translation, but the metaphor is very powerful, spoken by Guru Gobind Singh, the tenth Sikh Guru, poet-warrior, who sacrificed his entire family defending Hindus from muslim oppression, which were it not for the Sikhs, there would be not but a solitary Hindu left in all of India. A slight against a Hindu is a poisoned dart to any Sikh who considers theirself part of the Sikh heritage, regardless of whether they're religious or not.
I would rather not bruise anyone, least of all you, who I think most highly of. A welt on your head is a thorn in my heart. I'd rather none of it.
This victory is forfeit.
My apologies to you.
Indian Idiot (H.W.)
Ah, you shame me good Tom. I'd rather we not joust, for I consider you the superior.
There is precedent for making oscen parry in Indian history.
I'd rather not bruise anyone, least of all you, who I think most highly of, for a welt on your head is a thorn in my heart. I'd rather none of it.
This victory is forfeit.
My humblest apologies to you.
Indian Idiot (H.W.)
Ebert:... I read through my entry again and found two typos, the same number as in your message.
Thank you.
Holy crap! I just made it to this page and clearly someone's lost the plot a bit. I'm glad I was late in arriving, but should I have been here from the beginning, I would've done exactly the same thing Marie did - backed away, only I would've done it fast.
Indian Idiot (H.W.)
P.S. I know not only what he's doing, but also why he's doing it. I don't think it's at all nice and request that he desist, not that little people like meself have much sway over such a multitudinous grandee.
I finally got up the courage to come back here. I have no idea what Tom is referring to, thank God. I've been on another blog and the girls and women there seem to think I am okay. Of my seven female friends there, one is 40, one 28, one is 19, two are 18, and the others are 14 and 15. We begin our correspondences with things such as "Hello, my friend. . ." Sometimes we end them with "Love you," My friends are from Malaysia, Australia, the Philippians, India, and the US. My two male friends there are 18 and 19. None of them make the kinds of comments that I have seen here.
My site is not what I would consider successful. But I would not consider the one The New York Times has as successful, either. This is from their site.
One year ago today, "The Learning Network" of the New York Times was reborn as a blog. Since then we’ve fielded nearly 15,000 comments from students, teachers, parents and ordinary out-of-the-classroom citizens from around the world. That is 41 comments per day, from students, teachers, parents, and ordinary out-of-the-classroom citizens from around the world. Source http://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/
Indian HW said, "I know not only what he's doing, but also why he's doing it. I don't think it's at all nice and request that he desist, not that little people like myself have much sway over such a multitudinous grandee."
Mr HW, I liked you better when you were an "insignificant entity," and I am curious about what I am doing and why I am doing it. I see nothing at my site that leads me to believe that I am an evil person or that my motives are anything but well-intentioned.
There is a comments section at the bottom of the site's hompage, so fill me in on what and why. Or do you only make comments like that when everyone else is saying the same thing? Say it to my face.
The Kindness of Strangers and the Power of Words
I'm on a writers' blog right now. Most of the people on it are High School students. Some are extremely bright and wonderful people. Knowing them is one of the greatest privileges of my life. I immediately made some friends there. These are friendships that I hope last a lifetime. I also met my best friend on that site. She's thirty and the mother of two, and she hopes to be a published author some day.
The girls leave messages on their pages like: "My wonderful cat that I had for five years has passed away. She was the best cat that I ever had, or ever will have." Another young lady wrote a poem about her pet rat that died and how she placed the poem in the little box that she buried it in. I thought the poem was pretty good.
These might seem a bit trivial, but they weren't to the people who posted them. I sympathize with them. They are learning how to deal with grief. Sometimes, the news is quite severe. One of my closest friends on the site confided to me that her seventeen-year-old sister has leukemia. My friend found this out only a few weeks after recovering from a broken arm and three broken fingers. She's a brave girl, but she knows that I'll be there for her if she ever needs to talk.
Not everyone is so brave and strong. When I meet people who are, I use their behavior as an example for me. There are potential role models everywhere. Sometimes it even rubs off on me. Roger posts comments that are sometimes pretty rough. I find that admirable when the roughness is directed at him. Because of that I make it a point not to delete comments that are critical of my work or me.
Sometimes, the negative comments are from someone who is obviously having mental health issues. I don't respond in kind to the negativity and the occasional hostility. Instead, I ask myself where is it coming from. Some of these young people have parents who obviously don't care about them. If I come across someone who seems suicidal, I make an extra effort to reach out. I don't come across that very often, but when I do, it's alarming. It's also very rewarding when someone goes from hostile to polite and calls you a friend. And all it cost was a few kind words. I'd call that a bargain.
Why should I care about a stranger? To me the question is more a matter of why should I not care? If, as most educated people believe, we are simply dead and completely unconscious once we die, why do anything we don't need to? The story about the scorpion in The Crying Game answers it well. We do what is in our nature. I do not think that this rules out free will. It doesn't diminish my obligation to think, or to examine myself.
I had a frizzion last week while watching the opening of The Trial of Adolf Eichmann. It's been fifty years since his trial and Israel has released the entire video of the trial. I know a little bit about Eichmann, most of it from Hannah Arendt's book "The Banality of Evil." As I saw Eichmann sitting in that bulletproof glass booth, I thought about how he could be nearly anyone of us. He could be me—which is a good reason to keep my guard up. I don't want to be anything like Eichmann. Yet Eichmann didn't see himself as evil, just as I don't see myself as evil. Moreover, you would never have known what he was complicit in from looking at him. He asserted that he had never killed anyone. And that was true, he had not literally firsthand killed anyone.
So watching Eichmann being held accountable and held in judgment, forced to hear the truth about himself and to face his accusers, made me think about how I and most of humanity are complicit in evil. I'm complicit every time I can say a kind word and I don't—and in all the other sins of omission.
Words from this blog prey upon me. They linger like snipers in the back of my mind: "clueless basterd," "Wow. Backing away slowly and making no sudden moves...," "Trees you hide behind," "Do you require professional help?," "not that little people like myself have much sway over such a multitudinous grandee," "I have helpfully altered your link to show that you have done nothing. . ."
Looking at Roger's comments now, they don't seem as harsh as they seemed at the time. They did seem like an extension of "you have done nothing more than obtain a free website." At the time, it seemed like my whole world was crashing down upon me. And it was.
So, how do you deal with someone you think is mentally ill? None of those comments were trivial to me. I just find it amazing that the mentally ill one is the one who can see himself sitting in Eichmann's place, and being held accountable for the things that he did and didn't do, while the sane ones see the problems that 'those people' have.
The question raised in "Armless," about what you do about the wishes of a mentally ill man doesn't even merit a response, does it? If the wishes are obviously immoral, one is morally obligated to prevent the person from harming himself. Standing beneath someone who is on a ledge and shouting up to them "jump, jump" seems as bad as selling a man a skill saw, when you know what he intends to do with it. After the crazy man regains his sanity, he is irreversibly condemned to live a life with one arm—armless if someone is complicit in cutting the other one off for him. To some extent, we are all of us reliant upon the kindness of strangers. To do evil or to refrain from doing good seems to me to merit a seat in the glass booth.
Bono: "I am Mark David Chapman." Bono isn't evil, he's just more aware that he is capable of evil more than most people are aware of that about themselves. We are more inclined to believe ourselves good, just, and blameless. We aren't. Okay, let me put it better than that, "I'm not good, just, and blameless," and everyone who reads the comments here knows that 'about me'.