The link for the Elgato Video Capture Device seems to go to the Amazon page for the Dark City DVD.

Ebert: Not a bad holiday present, but it's fixed.

Funny thing, that. Of all the wrong pages it could link to...

I selfishly bought myself a new iPod. It was either that or selfishly buying myself an X-Box 360 so I could stream Netflix and play games.

Honestly, I'd almost recommend getting a Netflix subscription. One year of movies for $107.98 is nigh unbeatable.

Ditto on the Roku player.

I received it as a gift last year. it's a film lover's best-gift-ever. Netflix's "Watch Instantly" selection isn't as large as I'm sure it will be, but it's a great way to catch up on smaller films, and also for watching marathons of TV Shows ("Friday Night Lights," "Dexter," "Weeds," "30 Rock," for example).

Or, you can just send them the link to this amazing song from Tim Minchin. I've rarely heard a "christmas" song this moving.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q

Reply to: Ebert: The problem with gifts is that you almost always give something you want for yourself... as I'm reminded every time I use Chaz's iPod, iPhone and MacBook Pro.

Hmm... I've been on the Apple website, debating whether to order the 17" MacBook Pro my girlfriend asked for. However, I think she's getting a Mini Mac, upgraded to 8gb of memory and an Intel SSD. Because we're also getting her parents a new plasma, which has a convenient HDMI input she can use, instead of going blind trying to read the microscopic letters on the laptop screen.

I don't really see anything on your list that would... well, a present for Chaz instead of Roger. I think my list would start with...

(1) (as of may 26, 2009) The Highland Park, Chicago home featured in Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) is being listed by Sotheby's for $2.3 million. The 5,300 sq. ft home is located in the posh Highland Park area outside Chicago, It is best known for a steel-and-glass garage that hangs over a ravine. In a famous scene that pains any fan of classic cars, Cameron kicks his dad's cherry red 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California with the motor running...

Reply to: For less than the price of a banal Mercedes...

But what if that Mercedes is a BLOFELD?

(2) The newest Mercedes has gullwing doors and a V8 tweaked by the engineers at AMG. Now, we know the SLS will appear in the next James Bond movie, and it's going to be driven by Ernst Stavro Blofeld. So, I'm thinking, they might as well put the name "Blofeld" on the car somewhere, and get some PR out of it. With a license plate frame that reads "Conquering the world one super-spy at a time..."

Maserati's are nice. A Gran Turismo...

http://www.configurator.maserati.com/gtcc/landing.page

Or, the latest and greatest from Jaguar, a XJ Supersports with a supercharged 510 horsepower in Caviar with black semi-aniline leather.

Audi R8 Spyder

Reply to: ... a bright shining bulb illuminated above my head: I would recommend only gifts I myself desired!

Okay, okay, I get it.

Bentley GTC Speed.

(3) Runco projector and Da-Lite Affinity screen.

(4) An end to world hunger

And a winning PowerBall ticket.

Ebert: Sam Runco makes good projectors.

A gull-wing Mercedes and be mistaken for some assh**e derivitives trader, or the Golden Hawk and be known as a Cool Dude?

I'm jealous of your Weekly Standard subscription!

Seriously though, you've broadened my thinking on Christmas presents here.

I'll have to think about the rice cooker. I enjoy rice and don't eat enough of it.

Merry Christmas, Roger.

Ebert: And not just rice! Oatmeal! Soup! Pasta! Stews! Veggies! All meats if cut up properly! Tofu! Fish a possibility if caution used! Tuna and shrimp, of course! Ideal for Chinese! Indian! Your family need never eat another meat not produced by The Pot!

And next year will we see a Rice Cooker bundle that includes your cookbook?

I love using my rice cooker, but am perhaps too cautious in adding ingredients to the pot.

There's some comfort in following a recipe - even if you are unsure or hesitant you can shrug and follow the instructions in authoritative black-and-white.

Ebert: Read my blog I liked and get a head start.

You can never go wrong suggesting a Sony Blu Ray player. They just dropped the price to below $150. I bought one (for myself, natch) on Black Friday and, wow, I'm in movie-geek heaven. I can't believe how terrific a film from the mid 60's such as "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" looks. It just sparkles in HD.

Ebert: Oh yeah, they're good. Try watching this: http://j.mp/8op4Xn

This is a little off topic, but I feel it a necessary point to bring up with Apple accessories being recommended on this list. I urge any Apple computer owner with files on it they deem of considerable value to back up their hard drives. My MacBook was only two years old when it mysteriously crashed. Not only did the hard drive crash, but the technicians at the Apple Store wouldn't extract the salvageable data without at least a $600 charge to myself. Yes, they did revive my computer with a new hard drive, but what I had saved is now gone, all gone...

You people really have a fetish for gadgets, don't you...?

Ebert: What you mean "we," Darwin man?

A friend of mine sent me this article recently about how buying Christmas gifts for others damages the economy. It's good reading:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/25/AR2009112502653.html

Ebert: Readers:

FYI: I make free-standing Pages to tweet. They contain original material, my O'Rourke's magazine, the Kolb Report, Twitpix, videos, and so on. They cycle off Twitter, but are kept in a list headed "Pages" that you'll find on the right side of every blog page.

Roger

I don't care how good it is, if I buy my wife a rice cooker I'm screwed.

While I didn't say "we", I was referring to the incessant concern about gadgets at this particular time of year. As queer as it might seem, I believe that the knife in the heart of consumer oriented celebration might just be the gift of ideas. Thus, my link to the Minchin song...I s'pect you know what I mean.

I'm going to have to check out Facets Cinematheque. It looks incredible. I thought the stores run by passionate film people had all but gone the way of the dodo due to Netflix and such

Every year I get "the family" something I want for the kitchen, and had already decided on a rice cooker--we have one, but it's as quirky as a New Age Creationist--so thanks for the Zojirushi recommendation. I'm hopeful this will fulfill the undelivered promise of the Crock Pot.

It certainly is more blessed to give what one would receive.

The first link that really interested me, was dead. The Facets website link lead to a blank page, however, I came in through the back door Membership link, so I can give it a good browse.

To build on one of your oft used quips, good gravy - what a cornucopia of movies!

Actually, my first sentence is a lie. I must correct myself. My heart goes a-flutter when I see the Kurosawa film set from Criterion. I have most of those already, but not the four new DVD releases of course.

Speaking of movies, I recently rented Goodbye Solo. Another film introduced to me, by you and you alone. Profound and moving. Presented with a perfect tone. I'm really impressed. The casting was brilliant. The ending both unpredictable and inevitable, the hallmark of a great script. Your other readers would be giving themselves an early gift by renting it this week.

I'm a recent convert to Mac. I appreciate your free software links. I put SnapNDrag and RadioShift in the superneato category too. I only have a Macbook for the moment. I bought it for travel needs, but I find I'm using it every day now while my PC sits idle. I may just get the full blown Mac Desktop for my own Christmas present this year. Yeah, that's the ticket. With one of those superneato Mac wide-screen monitors.

I'm glad I read this article today. I had been thinking of sending you a book I love for Christmas.

Ebert: I'm so happy to get this human error messages. It's repaired. The second link basically got you there, at least. Facets is a remarkable place, founded by Milos Stehlik in a defrocked Lutheran Church where he showed me "Aguirre" after supplying a pillow because the pews were hard.

I sent Facets an email to ask if they ship to Canada. I have to get on this 'mail me a movie' gravy train. I've looked at a couple of companies, but haven't committed to one yet. I did a few test-title searches on their database and sure enough, they had them. So that's a good sign.

This is the sort of place I would love to visit when I'm in Chicago.

Our own Cinematheque here in Winnipeg is nothing so cool as an old church, but it is in a charming old building with a 1950's type concession stand, old wooden seats, and a few ancient projectors scattered about for decoration. The back row is a 10 second walk to the screen, and the best pub in Winnipeg (The King's Head) is a 4 minute walk in the other direction. Making it perfectly located for the inevitable post-film chin wag over a pint while you wait for the band.

1.Money is the best gift ( it is the commonest wedding present here, because the accumulation of these "tokens" may be particularly appreciated at the time of an invariably expensive wedding ). What could be more universal, more useful, more dear, less unwelcome? When will you write a blog about the beauties of dough?

2.@Rice Cooker. I almost brought one recently and I told my partner great you's eulogy thereof, but at about $25/=, it seemed complicated, fragile, and hard to use. We bought a patty maker instead. The above photograph looks far sturdier and encouraging. I would certainly want to be a one gadget, one man cook.

3.@Noodles. Instant noodles are a life saver, in spite of their dubious nutritional value. The packetted kind, along with the sachet of garnish mix, are better than the cupped variety. A packet like the one illustrated costs twenty cents whereas the cup is $0.50. I have to confess that I have a hard time keeping myself off this nutrition-minimal, harm-free,cheap, convenient delicacy. No wonder! Nestle's yellow packets of Maggi, piled up like hills in department stores, or dangling like balloons outside small shops even in the remotest places, have become a national failing like America and her bubble gum.

http://images.google.co.in/images?sourceid=navclient&rlz=1T4GGLL_enIN350IN352&q=maggi+noodles&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi

That Kurosawa set reminds me: I just saw the restored 35mm print of Rashomon, but I wish that the projector had been better. In a couple of places, the image shook. I wish they had had that projector you recommended a while back (I think it played 35mm and 60mm prints, and it held the image much better than most regular projectors do). Also, it seemed like part of the image (on the edge) was hidden behind some sort of film. At first I thought that they hadn't opened the curtains wide enough, but when the movie was over, I saw that they had. Maybe it wasn't threaded correctly? Anyway, minor quibbles, and the film was still glorious to see. Such great camera work in that movie.

I'm definitely checking out that rice cooker. For a friend, of course. ;-)

Don't you just love shameless plugs?

Thanks for the listing -- I just used it at Amazon to finish my Christmas shopping. I get the mini speaker for my MacBook.

Great list. I especially like the book recommendations.

This Christmas, I am going to treat myself and order a whole bunch of Criterion DVD's from Amazon. With any luck, they should be here in Istanbul by Christmas 2010.

I have the Indonesian noodles quite often and the flavor is indeed great. They have 3 seasoning packets and come with a small packet of dried onions also. If you compare to normal Ramen, it is like lobster to sardines. I like mine with an egg, some cilantro and either Sriracha or some other hot sauce. Delicious.

Your other gift recommendations are a guy's tech dream. I think in general, the 9.95 Netflix subscription is a bargain. With the Roku, I think we have found the future of how to view movies...and at a low cost!!!.

If no one has considered Netflix, the benefits are great. They make recommendations based on your tastes (including foreign and art films, obscure classics, and great television series), they have a huge variety, and a lot of the films in their database can be streamed online and in HD. Compare that to satellite or cable, and the cost savings are insane.

If they could cross Netflix, Roku (or any kind of port), internet radio, a kindle, and an Mp4 player, all of your entertainment needs would be portable and at your fingertips(this does actually exist but may not be technically legal...check E-bay). I think the future would be able to predict which media would best suit your needs at any particular time based on your predilections. I think Google is working on it as we speak.

What I Would Get Roger For Christmas-

On the issue of lost Siskel and Ebert shows, I was recently contacted by this guy from You Tube named Brian. He ordered a copy of Siskel and Ebert's 1980 episode called "Women In Danger" in its entirety. I e-mailed the episode to Roger last week. Brian had gotten permission from the copyright holder of the episode to obtain a copy of it.

Brain recently found out that there are 100 episodes of Siskel and Ebert done between the years 1975-1986 that are currently available in libraries across the country. Unfortunately and not surprisingly, one has to get permission from the copyright holders to get copies of them.

Brian works at a university and is getting the journalism and film departments involved in a project, which I am kind of skeptical about. Brian is going to contact every one of the copyright holders for permission to get copies of the 100 episodes of Siskel and Ebert. He will then build a Siskel and Ebert web site and post all 100 shows.

The obvious problem is that it is possible not all the copyright holders will give Brian permission to get copies of the shows. Some might, and some might not. We will just have to see.

This brings me to what I would get Roger for Christmas. If I myself could get copies of all 100 episodes, I would send them to Roger as a Christmas gift. I am sure that Roger would like that.

I hope Leonard Maltin will forgive you for not including his 2010 Movie Guide in your list.

What a fabulous list.

Some notes:
Kurosawa--the four early movies are also available in non-Criterion DVD versions. Don't get them. I did (3 of them). Didn't know the Criterion versions were being released. The translations suck--as in "translation software" godawful, untouched by human anything. This is particularly obscene given that "Men Who Tread the Tiger's Tale" is, in the original Japanese, unsurpassedly rich in dialogue and nuances handed down from a centuries-old story that has a substantial stage, poetic and literary history. Kurosawa fanatics may note that his earliest film (as an asst. director), a short called "Horse," isn't included and is almost ever shown in theaters and there are several excluded for (lack of) rights reasons, particularly RAN and the immortal DERSU UZALA. "Dersu! Dersu!" For about $10 one can get SOMETHING LIKE AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY, penned by Kurosawa himself, which I have read to shreds and which continues to influence my ongoing life. And the boxed set isn't complete, of course, but if you look up only Kurosawa as director you'll miss the incomparable THE SEA IS WATCHING, written by AK and directed exquisitely and with his family's support, by a man worthy to be called his heir in this posthumous endeavor.

I wholly endorse the rice cooker, which is the only kitchen appliance I have, aside from the Juvo mini-blender and a microwave oven. Soups and stews do better on the stove, though--my opinion only. Rice (all kinds) goes flawlessly from cooker to freezer to microwave. What's not to love?

Am sorely tempted by the wireless stuff but still mulling the dangers of electro-magnetic fields (pretty scary article in the Jan. issue of PREVENTION) and am thinking of unhooking the router. Feel it's worth mentioning despite the risk of starting another off-topic frenzy per the last blogpost.

These beautiful, beautiful poetry editions. I was high the whole day after buying the Yeats and Eliot.
Talking about beautiful books, here's a book about covers.

Btw, the Eggers book is a brilliant recommendation. One of my favourites this year.

Rice cookers are also great for paella-type dishes, including biryani (Indian) and kama-meshi (Japanese) and even risotto, if you don't feel like being authentic and stirring for the entire cooking period).

Ebert: Could you send in some recipes for my new cookbook? Seriously?

I also have a rice cooker (6 cup) and let me tell you, it helped make that leftover Thai food I had for lunch yesterday taste like the waitress herself just brought out a steaming hot ball of it. Only I didn't have to keep asking for more. Why do they never seem to give you enough rice at restaurants?

-Phil

Roger, I clicked the link on that innocent link above on miracle rice cookers and just came up for air. Hours--zounds.

The most probable reason a rice cooker sputters and spews is that it's overly full. Some of that room is needed for steaming, people! The next probable reason is that the little ventilation hole on the lid isn't properly portionate, or else doesn't exist at all. Whichever the (latter) reason, the problem's easily solved by putting the lid on askance, at an angle, so the steam/pressure can exude in an orderly, non-sputtery fashion. Then, after the thing clicks to "warm," you place a clean cloth (we have dedicated ones) between pot and lid and let the steaming proceed so the water doesn't drip down and glue up your rice.

As for brands, well, my parents, who are Asian born-n-bred and use their cooker at least every other day, decided to get a new one after 24 years. Nothing wrong with the old one, except the power cord was getting frayed and my nervousness about it made them nervous. They looked long and hard, for months, and settled for the simplest model: a Rival. Less than $20. They love it. It's been 5 years and counting.

Corollary: Much better to let cooked rice cool and store it in the fridge or freezer (it can be left out for one night in moderate climes) than have it kept ever-warm in one of those fancy warming units. The flavor suffers. A lot. And if you forget about it or go away for, say, a week, you'll come back to a semi-fermented roux part way to becoming sake, except it's not distilled , just disgusting and useless, like whisky mash.

Oh, and the proportion of rice to water depends on a lot of things, but generally polished (white) rice and short/medium grain stuff require less water; brown (unhulled) rices require about 2 cups water to one cup rice. Newly harvested rice (new crops) require less water than older ones, so the water requirements can vary over time even within a single batch. Long-grain rice is less starchy than short grain, and medium is in between. Sticky (glutinous) rice causes rapid weight gain bc it's extra starchy of the sort that can give you a sugar rush. That's why it's traditionally brought out for special occasions, desserts and the like.

Is anyone going to talk about the evils of HVP (hydrolized veg. protein, also called veggie chunks)? And I object to the unchallenged statement by someone in last year's post stating tofu is evil. Unpackaged tofu floating in open-air vats of water is gross, but not evil. The little boxed ones with the alarmingly high proportions of insect parts are also gross, but not evil. Heavily processed food is evil.

Omg, the time. Good morning. Good night.

This reminds me of a documentary I saw on prisons in Belgium yesterday. The prisoners are allowed to have a coffee maker and a water cooker. No other materials to cook.

One of the prisoners figured out how to make spaghetti. First you put the spaghetti in your coffee can and put the machine on. Hot water will be added to your spaghetti cooking it nicely.

While it's cooking you clean out a bag of chips. You put the tomato sauce from a bowl in the bag of chips. Put the bag in the water cooker and let it cook au bain marie.

Wait a few minutes et voilà, a lovely dish! Who needs rice cookers?

I was just wondering the other day how I could transfer vinyl records onto tape cassettes. Now, I know (vinyl to digital cd to tape cassette)--cool!

I still don't know if I will get that now, but I I will eventually...to listen to vinyl classical in my car or just at home--yes!

I don't know what to give other people so much, for the reasons stated already in the blog.

I know there are a lot of movies I want to get for myself. I think I'll buy them slowly over a period of time

I've already spent $160 dollars on my little cousin (two xbox 360 games ($100 bucks just for that, on sale, buy 1, get 50% off) and a pair of rad Michael Jordan shoes), got him the xbox last year for Christmas, though in October. This year he wants an mp3 player so he can listen to gangsta rap. There's no way in hell I'm giving it to him: I told him I don't want to have any part on destroying his mind, which that music will do, not so much because of the content (although, I don't want it having a bad influence: the whole women thing etc.), but because it just sucks; and I do the same with movies: "If you think we're going to the movies to see that movie, we aren't going to the movies"; we will probably see "2012", "Avatar" (we always go to the earlier showings), "Fantastic Mr. Fox", and scary ones, if any still out there.

I'm rambling as usual, sorry.

Roger, do you think anyone is getting you Sarah Palin's "Going Rogue" for Christmas?

It is the number one book in the country, after all.

You will be reading it, won't you?

I bought it for myself to support a book fair for my son's school. It's wrapped, just waiting for Christmas Day. Can't wait...

Now that my exam is done, I am reading for fun again. This week is Barack Obama's "Dreams of my Father"...

Roger, you're right that Indomie Goreng is easily the best instant noodle, but you don't serve them with broth. The proper way to make them is to boil the noodles, drain, then mix in the seasoning, oil, and chili. In Indonesia a pack costs 500-1000 rupiah (about 5-10 cents USD).

When in Indonesia, the thing to do is order them from a warung (street vendor) who will cook it up for you with shrimp, chicken, or extra fresh chili for maybe 1500 rupiah. Cheap, and one of my favourite quick meals.

I'm in a samoan version of a secret santa, called a Se'i, with the people I work with. I know all of them, but I've got no idea what to get. (Your suggestions were good, and I may want to consider them--because, of course, I want them for myself).

Shoot.

By the way, I haven't picked up any book of yours yet. Which one is probably the absolute must-have, that offers the most besides what I can get from reading everything off your website?

Ebert: My favorite is "Roger Ebert's Book of Film." Cheap used at Amazon.

A trance-like state has descended over me as I mull the myriad possibilities of the rice/whatever cooker...

Another Christmas gift for those who live outside of the US is a £10/10Euro monthly subscription to Spotify - which is like having iTunes installed on your computer with every single record ever (well, virtually) produced on it.

It's bewitching, incredible and still the only bit of technology that has reduced every friend I've introduced it to gibbering, clapping, happy-wrecks.

(And if you don't mind an advert every four songs, you can use it for free...)

Just a quick note. After the post that talked about Goodbye Solo, I looked on Netflix to confirm. All three of Bahrani's films are currently available with Watch Instantly on Netflix. THAT would be a good early gift for the week. A Bahrani festival at home!

Do share.

Miles Blanton

From the moment I first heard of the AK box set I was drooling with envy. I do have one reservation. I am slowly building my Criterion collection (love all the spine numbers!) and am concerned. Will this set not include the bonus discs from 2-disc features? Will it be films only? Because as great as that is, it would lead me to want to buy other Criterion films -- Rashomon, Yojimbo, Seven Samurai -- more than once for the features. So I am conflicted; do I spend more money buying them individually with more stuff over a period of time, or get the one big pretty box but lose some of that? I remember feeling cheated by Warner Bros. that the Oliver Stone box left out the special features disc for JFK and Nixon.

On the subject of career-spanning boxes though, have you heard that Warner Bros. is releasing a Clint Eastwood box early next year?
http://www.filmjunk.com/2009/11/30/warner-brothers-unveils-massive-clint-eastwood-box-set/

Criterion has to constantly tease me with great films at a high price....with such sweet, sweet cover art......

That video capture device would let me finally put my "Steve Martin Live!"(one of the best stand-up films ever, up there with "Richard Pryor Live," and "Bill Hicks: Relentless") VHS onto DVD, since no production company will release it...

And I could only dream of that Golden Hawk...I'm gonna have to settle for a used '82 Camaro on Craigslist...

Ha, Roger, I'm not much of a Christmasist (you should know that it has religious implications), and it has been many years since I had exchanged gifts with friends and families. The passing of years has taught me to conserve and cut down on materialism; but like many others, I do still indulge in the year-ender. For us in this part of the world, it will be mid February when the Chinese New Year commences next year. Now, there is a DVD boxed set that I've been desiring for over a year now. But I've been waiting for Amazon to decrease its price.

Dear Mr. Jeff Bezos, if you're seeing this, please, please, please lower the price of this to below $200 where I can afford it, and put it in my Gold Box at least until this coming February. Though, whether or not Santa makes the dream come true, I will still be your avid customer. (^_^) Thank you.

Ebert wrote, Ebert: And not just rice! Oatmeal! Soup! Pasta! Stews! Veggies! All meats if cut up properly! Tofu! Fish a possibility if caution used! Tuna and shrimp, of course! Ideal for Chinese! Indian! Your family need never eat another meat not produced by The Pot!

Looks like Roger's being possessed by Slap Chop guy...

Ebert: Plus! If you call the toll-free number in the next 30 minutes! Out of my own pocket! I'll throw in! A shiny new dime!

Thank you Roger! You just did my homework for me! ;-) I have a friend who needs a capture device just like that for their mac.
Here's hoping to availability in Canada.

A really insuperable and agonising job, giving a meaningful gift to somebody--unburdensome both to giver and taker.

The christmas-equivalent falls in Oct-Nov here with the obligatory exchange of gifts which involves considerable brain wracking, purse searching,and maybe heart burning.

Maybe the gift of a smile, or the gift of words....and if that won't do for Christmas, how about money, but that's too expensive, maybe!

You were had on the noodles. Here in Jakarta, where they are made, they cost less than 20 US cents a packet. Our rice cookers are usually too full of rice to put anything else in.

A great way to get high value for your gift-giving dollar, and at the same time Support The Arts, is to go to poetry readings and buy Chapbooks from the performing poets. A Chapbook is a small collection of the poet's work, usually self-published on folded 8-1/2x11 with card stock for a cover; locally they're usually $5 OR LESS regardless of the poet's prominence. (Tomorrow night, at Words In The Alley, Dogo Barry Graham HIMSELF is performing; I'll bet he sells everything he has with him!) The poets are almost always grateful and gracious to be autographing/inscribing their work for you.

If you write your own poetry or prose, you can make your own Chapbook and dispense it. Imagine the thrill your loved one will get when you immortalize her or him in print! My URL above describes a way of setting a Chapbook up entirely on your own as an MS Word file, which you can then take to your local quick-copy folks and have them crank you out as few or many, as plain or fancy, as you want.

How could you forget Film Movement subscriptions? After all you were the one that introduced me to it. For $11 per month only:

Canadian film lovers
http://www.filmmovementcanada.com/filmclub.asp

USA film lovers
http://www.filmmovement.com/filmclub.asp

p.s. the only book I have for the trip is...Mistry's A Fine Balance.

I just want to be clear, as you said these are items that you really want for yourself. You want someone to buy you a copy of your own book? Is the publishing industry doing so poorly that they can't even send you a check-print?

Ebert: I can never have too many. I wear them out so quickly.

I love Joseph B.'s suggestion of a Sony Blue Ray machine and their current low prices would tell you this should be the right time to move on but the terror of knowing my +/-350 beloved DVDs will suddenly become second class citizens of my collection is simply terrifying. I also know if I go Blue the studios will initially release bare bones editions of my favorite movies which means in 3-4 years I'll be buying them, yet again, all over again. Also, I find the idea of blue-ray as the prime technology in 7-8 years too far fetched.
Even Jim Emerson posted an article saying he thought it was a mistake changing to Blue Ray. Who should I listen to, my heart or my eyes which melt every time I visit a COSTCO and see demonstrations of Blue Ray movies ?

Due to the current administration's 'war on prosperity', there won't be any presents under the tree this year (this probably also applies to the next few years- at least up until 2013 when we get a new president).

Ebert: *Sigh.* You're being so unfair to an administration doing its best to dig us out of the Bush pit.

I read the first sentence of this blog post and thought immediately of my partner's gift to his brother when the latter married his lovely wife, a few years ago: a box set of Criterion Collection editions of Kurosawa films. Imagine my amusement, then, to find that at the top of your list! Clearly that's the perfect gift for any occasion, then... :)

You've just about got me sold on a rice cooker. Instant rice on the stovetop is, after all, pretty dreadful.

@Ronak M Soni: Oh my--look at those gorgeous books of poetry! And the Yeats collection was selected by Seamus Heaney! Wonder if they ship across the pond...

That's a good gift list for sure. Ol' Rodge shows his natural critical ability yet once again.

But I dunno what to do. I have turned into my Grampaw, my mother's father. When he visited one Xmas not long before he died, we exchanged gifts, and all we got him was a soap-on-a-rope. Not that we couldn't afford more; my ma knew his attitude. So we handed him the soap-on-a-rope with a ribbon on it.

Grampaw had this low low bass voice that could make you jump out of your new Christmas socks even if he didn't mean that. He took the soap-on-a-rope and said "Well Hell's Bells, I didn't want anything!" We jumped out of our Christmas socks. He laughed.

But I heard the sincerity in that unintended clap of thunder and it's stuck with me ever since...

I'm still using the double-blade razor my son bought me for Father's Day 1993. I think of him fondly every time I use it. I don't want a razor for Christmas. I'll want this one until I'm dead.

I don't want clothes. I don't want cookery stuff. I don't want any DVDs, CDs, no books, no hooch, no wine, no cigars, no car, nuthin'.

But I still want something. Some kind of heart-melter, like a home-made card from a 4 year old. Some thoughts from friends that'll last a long time. Maybe a Midnight Mass I've been meaning to go to drunk, but haven't in decades; one needs the most special of partners for that.

I've only ever tolerated dinner parties, considering them a job of staying entertaining, which I do, but come away feeling like an unpaid tolerant soul.

I'll tell my favorite part of Christmas: after the partiers and children have all adjourned to bed and the city is asleep and I'm still awake. My mind goes back thousands of years... back even before it was called Saturnalia, but inclusive of all I can think of between then and now. For an hour or two, that "silent night" is the most wonderful time of the year.

And I'll tell the most amazing gift I've ever given and received, yes, they were a couple of objects, but at the moment am trying to get into the mood to get back to work...

"Dig us out of the Bush pit"

Obama is continuing all of Bushes policies that contributed to this pit. No war for oil except these two.

Ebert: *Sigh.* You're being so unfair to an administration doing its best to dig us out of the Bush pit.

I have to say I'm a little dismayed at the recent article in Rolling Stone: http://bit.ly/565Hrk

Interesting tidbit: in the first three quarters of this year, the financial services sector spent over $344 million on lobbying to protect its interests.

*Sigh.* I really hope Obama's got the common man on his agenda.

@ Randy Masters

Just wondering if you saw William Shatner reading excerpts from Sarah Palin's book on The Tonight Show, followed by Palin reading excerpts from Shatner's autobiography. You can see the clip here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d12rgCOL8Js

Merry Christmas!

Just yesterday I totally bought a gift that I would have wanted for myself, and come to think of it one you'd probably love too: a 2010 diary made by Shakespeare & Co. in Paris (not the first time I mention the place in this blog; sorry for the repetition).

It's almost the size of a coffee table book, every cover is different in colour, the layout is super simple and it only has one letter type and size, but what gets me is... it's printed! As in, it's been printed on paper with actual ink in an actual press and you can tell the irregularities in the type, as opposed to whichever process books come from now. Every week has eight days (the last one a varying extra day named after food: Flanday, Caviarday, Baguetteday) and at the very end it includes a list of valuable addresses in Paris, from what I can gather according exclusively to the whims of the people making the book. There's an address for a bird hospital but no mention of the Tour Eiffel or the Louvre, six restaurants and none a five-star, three small cinemas but no multiplexes, and an Indian bazaar of all things.

I'm giving it to someone with high tolerance for whimsy, but I'm still afraid I may be pushing it...

Ebert: Where dd you get it and what did it cost?

I have to shop for a friend who is a self-proclaimed "metrosexual." Do you have any suggestions geared in that direction? What are you getting for Richard Roeper? Please don't tell me "skinny" jeans or blue tinted sunglasses. Been there; done that.

Ebert: Bomber jacket?

As a UI grad married to a whip-smart sports fan, I'll be adding "My Turf" to the shopping list. Thanks for the list.

Hmm. Nice list. I wish I had $285 for the Kurosawa collection. And that I lived in Chicago. I don't have a membership at Salon but besides your website, that's my go-to site for movie reviews. This is a great sample of Andrew O'Hehir's writing: http://archive.salon.com/ent/movies/feature/2003/05/15/matrix_reloaded/index.html

I don't think I'd have much use for the rice cooker; my diet mostly consists of Cheez-its and microwavable pizza products. The 2010 movie yearbook sounds good, though. In addition to that I'd recommend "Roger Ebert's Book of Film." I don't even think I'm a quarter of the way through it yet, but there's some pretty great stuff in there (I loved the essays on James Dean and John Wayne).

I think I'm kind of forgetting that this is supposed to be a list of what we should get for OTHER people, but I guess that was kind of the idea.

Ebert: I really liked that book. Norton never bought the rights to the contents for a paperback edition!

SM Rana, on December 14, 2009 1:03 am, wrote: I have to confess that I have a hard time keeping myself off this nutrition-minimal, harm-free, cheap, convenient delicacy.

Nutrition-minimal, yes. Cheap, yes. Convenient, yes. But harm-free, no. Or rather, I have doubts about this. Words (unconfirmed) have it that frequent consumption of packed noodles leads to more falling hair. But one thing that can be said for certain about packed noodles is that they carry quantities of MSG and artificial flavorings. There are, however, certain brands that are certified non-MSG. I hope you're eating the latter.

http://www.healthcastle.com/noodles-asian-grains.shtml

Roger, sorry for spoiling Christmas. :)

Wow--so few comments? I'll tack one on to support cute posts like this one. It puts me in the holiday spirit!

I bought the new Harry Potter DVD for my girlfriend for Chanukah, but I'm planning on borrowing it from her right after she opens it...so you may be onto something with your hypothesis, sir.

Thank you very much Roger! I’d been wondering about converting some of my VHS tapes to DVD’s including some priceless home movies that I had converted to VHS from Super-8. We had an early family Christmas present of a Samsung Blue-ray with the capacity to hookup to the internet for Netflix. Works like a charm and only about $150. Now if Netflix and the powers that be would just allow more movies to be available on instant view!

Ebert: All three of Ramin Bahrani's great films are now on Instant.

I'm more annoyed by people giving me things I know they'll be asking to borrow.

But giving somebody something you like, to me, says a lot. In a way its opening yourself up and sharing something with someone who means something to you. Within reason, of course. Giving a Christian a copy of The God Delusion likely isn't going to bring you closer.

But giving somebody who likes classic literature a copy of your favorite Dickens to open them to the world of Dickens is great, I think. The trick is to show you know them and what they like, but to show what common ground the two of your have.

Wow, Roger. I didn't think you were that naive. Obama is doing his "best" to dig us out of the "Bush pit"?! Yeah, everything is Bush's fault. Obama voted for the policies that led to this recession. Nevermind three years of an out of control Congress led by Dems. When is our Dear Leader going to grow up and be a man and stop passing the blame onto other people?

The Dems are pushing cap and tax (in light of Climategate!) and universal healthcare down our throats, and the vast majority of the country doesn't want it.

How's "hope" and "change" working for you?!

Obama is doing NOTHING to make this country a prosperous nation. He's a narcissist. He has a huge ego. All he cares about is himself.

Obama: you can take the man out of Chicago politics, but you can't take the Chicago-style politics out of the man.

Ebert: "Chicago-style politics ..." It's so sleep-inducing when someone goes on autopilot. Yawn.

Wake me up if you think of something.

When you're young its all about the presents. The handful of hours spent around a tree with your family; making circles around the branches, looking for box's with your name on it. All the gifts don't really matter much to me anymore. And I tend to get mildly annoyed when everyone I know asks me several times a day what I'd like for Christmas (especially because it comes off as if they may only be reminding me to get them something.)

No the only thing I care to have around this season is the season itself. With no religious ties or tradition. Maybe somewhere close to home with a few people I know.

Then again, I could use a rice cooker.

A late addition to my Christmas list this year was a subscription to the new Circle of Trust service from Oscilloscope Pictures. You're promised the company's next ten DVD releases roughly a week before they hit shelves, as well as discounts on all of the previous discs from their store.

I own their release of Wendy and Lucy and it's terrifically packaged. They've also recently put out one of my favorites of the year, Treeless Mountain. Among their upcoming titles is The Messenger.

The cost is high - $150/year - but fortunately they have a good resale value on Amazon.

http://www.oscilloscope.net/shop/cot.php

Cinema aside, however, I could sure go for some rice...

"My friend Millie Salmon recommends adding fresh or frozen shrimp at the proper moment, and I've always found that on such occasions a few frozen peas never do any harm."

My current "quick" lunch of choice.

Oh yeah, MY TURF. Gift indeed! I've been re-reading it. You don't have to be a sports fan at all (I'm not).

I had NO idea that's how Rocky Marciano was. None. We all need to know.

Ebert: Readers:

I just posted a rather nice special page in memory of W. G. Sebold, who died this day in 2001:

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/in-memory-of-the-memories-of-w.html

"The problem with gifts is that you almost always give something you want for yourself." - Roger

Hmm.

Actually, I think the problem is having to suck it up and hold your nose when buying stuff you personally can't stand - but know the other person is going to love.

Martha Stewart wannabes. (Shudder.)

As it's easy shopping for people who share your tastes and really hard when they don't, eh?

One of the nicest presents I ever got, was an apothecary bottle a girl friend discovered in an antique shop! She created a hand-made label out of parchment paper and wrote "Somnus Pulvis" in Latin upon it, and then filled the bottle up with what appeared to resemble incandescent fairy dust!

Oh my God! How cool is that?!

DREAM DUST!

It was maybe $8.00. But the thought that went into it making of it; priceless.

If I were to give one my sister's a bottle with glorified dust inside it, they'd toss it once my back was turned, chuckle!

And so I end up buying them ordinary things of no real value as the hollowness of that seems to appeal more.

Whereas my friend Marta gave me a rock once. But not any old rock, no sir-ee! It was a chunk of marble from the same quarry in Carrera where they got the giant block for Michelangelo's David. It's roughly the size of baseball and I love it.

For she gave it to me as metaphor for life: "we are what we make of ourselves and a byproduct of the time we put into that."

Isn't that wonderful?! And what a thing to give an artist! A piece of raw marble; awesome.

But if I gave one of my sisters a rock... etc.

So I have no trouble parting with things I'd love to get - for when I give them, I get the pleasure of giving stuff that "doesn't" suck.

Ie: making it easy to part with it.

You know how some people will wear "holiday themed" sweaters at Christmas? With giant snow flakes and stuff? And earrings that looks like tree ornaments? And decorate the house until it resembles Wal-Mart?

Let's talk about dealing with THAT nightmare! There isn't enough rum soaked eggnog to escape that hell.

Chuckle!

You may be right that most people give gifts that they themselves want or value -- I have observed this myself -- but I can tell you that they are missing out on the deeper pleasure of gift-giving, which is holding your loved ones in your heart and contemplating all you know of them while you wait for a gift idea. This is a warm creative process and often results in gifts which are inspired, original, and deeply appreciated. An excellent gift is not merely extravagant or tasteful -- rather it shows that you truly know the other person. This type of giving deepens our appreciation of one other. Frankly, the other way of giving leaves a copper taste in my mouth. Potlatch ick.

Haha! I just gave my Mom a Kindle.

I would LIKE one, but don't really need one, since the Harold Washington library is one of the best libraries in the world.

As an old horseplayer and longtime reader, I can enthusiastically endorse Bill Nack's writing. Big Thumbs Up!!

(I didn't just violate a trademark, did I?? Maybe I should have put "thumbs up" in lower case?? Hee hee.)

Does anyone know if there is an equivalent to the Elgato Video Capture Device for those who use a PC ?

Ebert: There's gotta be. I didn't even notice it was Mac.

I will here personally make half of a Christmas gift for Roger. I'll expect some generous, canny poster to chip in and make the other half. Here's my half:

Q: "How many Chicago-style politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

A:

Ebert: One, if his name is Daley,

Wow, Indomie is from Indonesia! So popular, its jingle was adopted by SBY during his campaign for his second presidency. I hated the lyric of his version though. http://bit.ly/6VSNFH

Slightly off topic:

Has anyone else ever heard that our modern Christmas traditions has more to do with Charles Dickens than with Christianity?

Apparently, before Dickens wrote 'A Christmas Carol' in 1843, the holiday was a pious, deeply religious affair. There was no gift-giving (or little of it) and the day was spent in solemn prayer at church. The holiday was so solemn, in fact, that people were no longer observing it all by the time Dickens' book.

Dickens' book, with it's secular vision of Christmas, apparently inspired the rebirth of the holiday. When Scrooge brought gifts for the Cratchetts and the rest of his family at the book's conclusion, he wasn't embracing Christmas tradition, he was setting a new trend.

Now, I can take this a step farther, and ask whether Christian Fundementalists are aware that their annual tradition is based on a 19th century fiction novel by a socialist, secularist author, but I won't.

No... I'd rather just admire the power of a great writer to change the world.

Hey Rodger, what an awesome cool list! I'm glad you're gadget-freak and techno-nerd like me. You can't talk about printscreen software though without mentioning Gadwin printscrenn. It's PC based and its free, and it's indispensable for my work. (I do website updates for ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com)

Here's a link if anyone is interested: gadwin.com/printscreen. Note there's also a pro version with some extra features. I don't have any ties with Gadwin, I just find it really useful and easy to use.

A brief list of other free software I use (in no particular order) on a daily basis:

1) FireFTP: Free FTP client addon for Firefox
2) Adblock Plus: Another Firefox addon that blocks a variety of adds that loadup. You can disable on specific websites you want to support.
3) Xmarks: Crossbrowser addon (works with Firefox, IE, Chrome, Safari) that syncs bookmarks. This is a total can't live-without for me, as I use multiple computers.
4) Allway Sync: Really easy to use file sync program. Can also be installed on U3 based jump drives.

Thats the stuff I use alot, and will be especially useful to the gadget-freaks and techno-nerds (like Roger and myself). Once again, no endorsement intended. Just stuff I use.

Indomie Instant Fried Noodles are one of the favorite food here in Indonesia
and they are indeed delicious!!! ^__^

Indomie Goreng for more than 2 dollars!!
Nuts...they real price here is only 1 cent per package :D

Oh I'm sorry, I mean 10 cent per package for that Indomie stuff :D

@ PBJMahwa - "Does anyone know if there is an equivalent to the Elgato Video Capture Device for those who use a PC?"

PC and MAC: "Dazzle Video Creator Plus" - $89.99

http://www.pinnaclesys.com/PublicSite/us/Home/

Basically, what do you want to import?

TV? VCR? Camcorder? DVD? Not all capture devices do everything, so check the stats. The more they do, the higher the price.

Hope that helps. :)

Some thoughts on your gift list

12. I love to have, but nobody around me seriously cares about what I talk about movies. I agree that your gift is essentially what you want, not others. I gave some professor "Hoop Dreams" for gift two years ago, and she still does not watch it. When I finally found someone who could care about the movie, DVD was out-of-print. Fortunately, I managed to get one copy last weekend.

11. No, we don't have service like Netflix in South Korea. Only downloading market is open for computer users.

10. Hey, I do not live in US! And airplane is not taxi. But maybe I visit this place in next April. I will go sightseeing in Chicago before attending Ebertfest.

9. I recorded few movies on VHS, but all of them are replace by DVDs. And our family does not have video records that much.

8. Maybe my mother will give it to me as 'bachelor' present when I live alone. Then, I will buy your book.

7. I don't have iPod. Instead, I have an MP3 player and a good converter program in my computer.

6. Again, I do not live in US. But love to visit Gene Siskel Film Center.

5. Thank god I still have my voice. But people usually told me not to mumble and say louder. That is why I am a little worried about making and sending video reviews. You cannot get out of habit easily.

4. Now that is something I can afford to buy. And the reviews by Stephanie Zacharek and Andrew O'Herir have been lots of help to me.

3. Wow, this is more fun. I will try trial version soon. I will search in South Korea first, and then other English-language areas.

2. And I have seen every word in this wonderfully-written volume.

1. I am not a big fan of sports, but I like good stories a lot. I will order this book at my campus bookstore tomorrow.

Almost 0.

Sorry, S M Rana. I have endured lots of noodles like that since my childhood and I become sort of cynic. I like your prose, but that did not move me much. And considering international shipping cost, I'd rather buy Korean product(about $1.00). By the way, we also add lots of things, too. Egg, tuna, green and red pepper, scallion, potato, garlic, ham, sausage, and of course, Kimchi. In fact, we can make "Base camp stew" in the end. In old days, they added leftovers from US army base camp to noodle, but it is made with more clean ingredients now.

0. I don't use mac, Mr. Ebert, but 1957 Studebaker Golden Hawk will be terrific. The problem is, I don't still have driving license.

Again, I will buy same Christmas present for my parents. Tie for my dad, and broach for my mom. And probably sweater for my brother. The meaning of Christmas diminishes more quickly when you grow up in South Korea.

Anyway, watching "A Christmas Story" Blue-ray last week with my friends was wonderful experience. I also had big wish during Christmas season. I did not want BB gun. I wanted books. But my parents gave me *other* books.

Ebert: I would call this a wonderfully comprehensive comment!
Don't worry about volume. Let your viewers turn up their volume!

Waael Khairy of Egypt is newly posted.

I'm just correcting Ryan Koudys' comments.
I'm Indonesian and a pack of Indomie costs around 1200-1500 rupiahs (10-15 cents USD) so it's more expensive than you said now but still cheap and delicious.

RE: Ebert: Where dd you get it and what did it cost?

The bookstore itself, and it cost me 25€. Would you like one? :)

Ebert: Let me know how to, and I'll get one myself!

Hi Greg,

Just wondering if you saw William Shatner reading excerpts from Sarah Palin's book on The Tonight Show, followed by Palin reading excerpts from Shatner's autobiography.

I saw both. It was very funny both ways. They both win. Meaning, of course, that Palin won in the long run.

Roger, did you see Sarah take down Shatner? "Taste my nightstick!" Brilliantly funny.

Why would anyone care about indulging in capitalism? Isn't it time we got rid of such filth and took a more Christian moral, such as going WITHOUT gifts for Christmas?

Hi Roger,

I had a combination gift / movie night last night. Knowing that I would be up for at least three hours after everyone went to bed wrapping presents, I picked up a couple of light comedies at the video store. (I had survived "Terminator Salvation" the night before. That kind of movie would not be a good mood-setter for wrapping presents!)

I picked up one old, one relatively current:

Old: "Dick"

Love that movie. Probably because I was a teen in the 70's and enjoy the flashbacks, and because I watched the Watergate hearings and know all of the characters. A clever and cute and funny movie.

Current: Away we Go

A quite and pleasant on-the-road buddies pic. Krazinski kept me engaged. Awesome soundtrack.

I read your review of it before I went to bed.

I agreed with: these are characters that you don't see much in film.

I didn't agree with: they (both the characters and the writers) are probably elitists, but have a right to be. I'm not a big cheerleader for elitism. It doesn't endear the characters to me. Quirky, yes. Elitist, no. Fortunately, Krascinski's character is just quirky and hopeful. Not sure exactly why his character was with Rudolph's. She doesn't give him an inch.

I did agree with the other critic that you quoted in your review. "This movie doesn't like you". True. the movie loves the main characters and mocks the rest. And that's problematic for most of us, the mocked.

Still, worth watching - and well worth listening to as you're wrapping. I have to get the soundtrack.

Presents all wrapped. Now I can get to bed at decent hour for once on Christmas Eve.

Roger, here's my X'mas gift to you:

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-phone-sex-a-telemarketer-2

(^_^)

That's funny! I just tweeted it, with credit to you.

I'm not sure that Avatar will be looked back on as a great film 10 years from now when the technology is commonplace. Most of the reviews seem to say "Sure the writing is trite but the quality of the cgi and the worldbuilding is incredible. I have to give the film a glowing review because of what a massive technical achievement it is."

Are you a fan of the Sopranos or The Wire? It's weird that you haven't written about it since it they are some of the great cinematic achievements of the past decade.

The old arguments about how Television is not as worthy of criticism as film is obsolete.

I am so disappointed that I will not be getting the A.K. box set. I already own all of the films apart from the 4 early works and Madadayo, and
I can't just go crazy and buy them all again.

My preferred method of gift-giving ( I wish I could do this for everyone on my list, but I don't think they would appreciate it) is handing down my old dvds to my brother once I buy a newer version (usually new Criterion releases). This Christmas, he will be receiving Wings of Desire, The Seventh Seal, and Charade. Occasionally I will buy him something new, as I did with Berlin Alexanderplatz, BRD trilogy, and The American Soldier (Yes, he is a Fassbinder junkie), but Criterion keeps coming out with films that I already own from an earlier release, and there's no use in keeping both versions. I don't even think he owned a dvd before I started getting them for him, but his collection is getting pretty extensive.

Actually, I might be thinking of shelving the dvds until a later occasion and getting him the rice cooker. He is a vegan and looooves cooking meals for himself. What size pot should I get him if he lives by himself?

Ebert: Three or five, unless he plans to freeze soups.

Hey Roger,
I'm greatly intrigued with the AK 100 DVD collection and am strongly debating getting it but I was wondering if there are any complaints you've heard about or problems you know of about the collection. One I have found is that it doesn't have some of his important films like The Quiet Duel, Ran, and Rhapsody in August. Would you say the collection is worth the money, even without those films?

I think I should make an itty-bitty suggestion concerning the Roku HD Player. Doing some Christmas shopping at Best Buy a few weeks ago, I noticed that nearly all of the latest Blu-ray players include the option to watch Nexflix and "soon" you can watch HULU. If you want to lay down the extra money, it might be a good bet.

A:

Ebert: One, if his name is Daley.

Doooh! No. It's supposed to be like "2,347. One to screw in the bulb and 2,346 to provide rich local color with whispered rumors of unprecedented corruption unique to the Windy City" or like that. Me brudder worked for Harold Washington, ya know. He came away with the news that it wasn't any better or worse than anywhere else.

Marie! MY second and third favorite gifts in the past... gee whiz, maybe since I got that model plane at age 11... was a vial of dirt from somewhere around Santa Fe! And a vial of water from the Ganges, too.

My favorite comes with a story that beats O. Henry's.

Alas, most of my friends and loved ones make close enough to minimum wage that I'm not going to get the Kurosawa, though perhaps someone will spring for at least a copy of Ikiru, so far my favourite, and thank you very much for the recommendation. (Your movie guide is about the only one of your books they can give me, as I own the rest already.) I also rather suspect that no one will be getting me the new giganto-enormo box set edition of Gone With the Wind, for much the same reason. (It's my daily review today on its seventieth anniversary.) In the spirit of giving great movies (or perhaps even Great Movies), I'm helping to build a friend's Cary Grant collection. Just doing my part, right? I gave a friend a month of Netflix last year, too.

I can also heartily recommend the new Good Eats cookbook by Alton Brown, a birthday gift from my beloved. He says I won't use much of any of the recipes in it, which is probably true, but it's still a great cookbook, full of all kinds of science and history and so forth, just as a good cookbook should be. We got Harry Potter and Up, too, though we aren't in a terrible rush for a lot of this year's releases. Not a very good movie year. Alas for 1939, huh?

For a friends birthday I bought her a cd. She said she didn't have any use for it. I told her to copy it to itunes then give it back to me, since I didn't have the cd yet. I bought a present for her, and got myself a new cd out of it. Your absolutely right Roger: you do buy gifts for yourself!

Q: "How many Chicago-style politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

A: None. Your lamp has been towed.

"now that I don't eat or drink".

That sounds so sad. Do you miss it?

Ebert: Yes, as a concept, but not physically. For a time I was haunted by an obsession with root beer.

I've enjoyed your reviews and these amazing blogs/conversations for a long time, though I've rarely posted myself. On behalf of all of your many admirers here, may I ask: If someone wished to send you a Christmas card or gift (or anything else), can you provide a postal address that would reach you?

Ebert: Just more good comments, please.

I've reached that peculiar but serene stage in life when all I want is less.

The Elgato Video Capture Device is quite the temptation (for myself, let's forget the season of goodwill for a moment here!) Having to relocate myself just to watch Titanic has become quite the chore over the past few years, so maybe this is an end to my woes...

(The irony of paying $81.25 to avoid buying a $15 DVD has been duly noted!)

I have the rice cooker from the first go around, and now I've ordered the streaming video box and an el cheapo Netflix subscription for my wife's Christmas present. Keep those good ideas coming, Roger.

Wait a minute! You mean to say that you drugged a woman so you could take advantage of her toys?!

Ebert: Me?

Thanks again Roger! I just read the wiki article on Ramin Bahrani and recall reading a review of Man Push Cart a few years ago, but never got around to getting the DVD. Thanks for the suggestion especially now that it’s all cold and nasty outside and movie season inside!

Roger, if you're looking for a Christmas present for me, please consider doubling your output on the blog. I look forward to each new entry, and visit often enough to be disappointed when there isn't one. This would cost you very little and bring me (and others, I suspect) much joy. Think about it?

I don't know if you're a Neil Young fan, but his Archives box set is packed with great music from the early period of his career. It's available in CD, DVD or blu-ray, and it's not very expensive. Very much recommended, even for people not very familiar with his music. His songs include Ohio, Old Man, Southern Man, Helpless and Heart of Gold.

Not a movie-related Gift, more of a wish made by a music and rock enthusiast:

The Who's "Who's Next" album, original vinyl or Half-Speed Master LP... GOD the 70's sounded GOOOOOD!!

Ebert: I really liked that book. Norton never bought the rights to the contents for a paperback edition!

That's alright; it's a good book to have in hardcover. Unless you're saying there's an opportunity to make some money there...

I looked up some of W.G. Sebald's books on Amazon after reading your tribute. The descriptions I read of his books were intriguing, but extremely vague. I basically got from them that his writing is very dark and often blurs the line between reality and something more dream-like. Either way, I'll have to check him out. (Strangely, when I first searched his name I spelled it "Sebold," and two of the first four books to come up were by you. I also saw that another commenter said one of your links here went to the "Dark City" page on Amazon.com instead of where it was intended. I think something weird is going on.)

Also, I thought of another great gift. "Bogie and Bacall: The Signature Collection." Contains four movies: "Key Largo," "Dark Passage," "The Big Sleep," and "To Have and Have Not." I bought it for $15.99 today at Costco (more money I should've spent Christmas shopping).

Ebert: I'm not suprised the description read as if vague. His writing is almost impossibe to describe, beginning with whether it plays as fact or fiction. Give Austerlitz try and see what you think. (Austerlitz, not Auschwitz.)

I just posted a rather nice special page in memory of W. G. Sebold

Oops! This link appears broken...

A most welcome gift could be Ebert's second hundred great movies...

Ebert: Works for me. Try the long form. Do you know Sebald?

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/in-memory-of-the-memories-of-w.html

Q: How many physicists does it take to fix a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and another to rotate the universe.

A shorter thread one can read through...

My younger brother is one of my favorite people to buy Christmas gifts for.

We get one another stacks of films (we have a rule that they must be pre-viewed films from Hollywood Video or used-DVD store etc, to keep the costs down and increase the number of films we give and get).

We both watch a lot -- a LOT -- of movies every year, so we keep track of which films we've both seen or not seen. Come Christmas, it's time to rectify any viewing oversights for one another.

This year, among others, I'm giving him a copy of "The Reader", "Ballast", "The Edge of Heaven" (I saw it on DVD this summer and it instantly became one of my favorite films), and Coppola's "Dementia 13" (which I finally saw this yea).

So our gifting is explicitly based on giving things we'd love to get!

Do you know Sebald?

First I heard of him. I'm not widely read. Till age thirty, I was reading voraciously for preceding fifteen years, when I converged to the one thing which seemed to have urgently needed answers, where I expended my energies for another twenty five years. Maybe seven years back I felt a need to fill a cultural vacuum, so I had a long swallow of Shakespeare, made quicker via the BBC TV series, available on video tape at our British Council Library. The remaining need I think was filled by a run through the best of cinema, under your able guidance. Time is still tight, and I see more movies than I can afford, and I miss having missed War and Peace, Dante and so many others. Maybe as you missed the sciences, at least the physical ones.

About the video capture device, if you can use it on commercial tapes (ie the ones that are copy protected) it raised an issue I've been wondering about: do the studios not care if you transfer a commercial VHS of a movie onto a homemade DVD?

RE: Ebert: Let me know how to, and I'll get one myself!

Sorry if I wasn't clear, but it's on sale at the physical store and I'm pretty sure they don't ship... If you have relatives or friends coming to Paris for the holidays, this would be the time for a well-placed tourist recommendation!

Ebert: Think they'll take a credit card or PayPal?

Indomie?!!!
That's an instant noodle from my country, Indonesia. You should give it a try. :)

One the one hand, the Kurosawa collection provides an endless stream of inspiration and emotional satisfaction. On the other hand, I'm a starving college student. Rice cooker it is!

Not too many Christmas gift "surprises" as an adult. Most of it is just stuff I bought and give to people to give back to me. Pretty ridiculous, but oh well. It beats getting that 4th bread maker or 10th wallet again.

I would recommend giving MagicJack to anyone that still has a phone that is not a cell phone. It will save them a lot of money in the long run. Make sure to use an infomercial-type-voice though when you're explaining the gift to them. This part is vital.

As far as movies go, I'd recommend Plan 9 from Outer Space, North, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, and basically anything with Rob Schneider.

...easy Rodger, breath slowly, a joke is all it was, just a joke, no need to panic. And actually, scratch Plan 9 from that list, the movie can be used with conversation as entertainment.

Ebert: I’ve reached that peculiar but serene age in life where all I want is less.

I can help take that unbearable load of More off your shoulders! Give More to me so you have Less! Perfect solution! I’m not picky… but I could use a good pair of sunglasses (polarized please, none of that “cosmetic” crap), some financial aid ($20,000 a year would be good, but be free to give me more if you wish), and, oh yea, in a couple of years I’m gonna need some of that health insurance—know where to get any?
Of course I’m just kidding. All I really want is world peace and a pat on the back from my Pa. I think the former is the more probable one.

I have a question about married couples and buying presents. I am young and know very few people who’ve tied the knot (fewer if you don’t include those who chose marriage over abortion). My question is this, and I don’t mean to offend anybody with it: when there is a primary breadwinner of the house, and the other spouse makes little to no money, and that other spouse uses the breadwinners bread to buy gifts for the breadwinner, doesn’t that kinda take away some of that Gift of the Magi spirit we always hear of around holiday season (the woman sold her hair!)? If not, I guess I understand that it’s the thought that counts, but, c’mon, what would it be like if the numero uno moneymaker said to his/her wife/husband, “If you want it to technically, and legally, be a gift, you must earn the money you spend on it, legally”?

I'm with you on the miracles of the rice cooker. We once traveled for a month, carrying our rice cooker with us, and hardly had to eat out at restaurants. We cooked most meals in our magic pot.

However, I strongly feel an essential to any rice cooker is a timer. It's not a bell or whistle. It's lovely to wake up to fresh cooked oatmeal in the morning, or arrive home from work with the rice for dinner already made.

I like giving my kids movies that they are not expecting...things that are a little out of their generational comfort zone...that's how they've learned to appreciate Kirosawa,among others.

RE: SnapNDrag:

Also available to Mac users is the screenshot utility that is built into the Mac OS, accessible by keyboard shortcuts. Two of the keyboard shortcuts are:

shift+command+3 (full screenshot)
shift+command+4 (user-defined screenshot)

The screenshots are saved to your Desktop.

My gift to Mr Ebert:

On Christmas Eve, the ghost of Orson Welles visits you. He takes you to a magical movie theater where you watch all the great movies that have been made till now and for some reason you failed to see. After watching them all, you don't feel tired at all.

Then, James Cameron and Ramin Bahrani visit you and give you a taste of future great films. Only clips but they are spectacular!

Last, but not least, the guy you tried to fool during a chess game visits you and tells you he forgives you.

I would have included Mr Siskel but having watched a clip where you tell him you love him and he reacts the way he does, I am pretty sure all that matters has already been said between you two.

I hope you'll enjoy your present! Merry Christmas Mr Ebert :)

Ebert: You provide for me so much better than Dickens did for Scrooge.

Ebert: Readers:

Here are the final nominees for the 2009 Awards of the Chicago Association of Film Critics.

At the bottom is a ballot so you can choose among the same nominees.

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/nominations-in-final-voting-ro.html

After they sent me a copy of Somers Town to review, I came to the conclusion that what I really wanted was a year-long subscription to Filmmovement.com. You'd mentioned the site before and I'd wanted it then, but after seeing one of their movies, now I really want it!

Sadly, it seems unlikely I'm getting that for the holidays.

Happily, I have a job and earn money of my own and when I get my tax refund next year, oh, yes...

I loled when I read that someone got you a Weekly Standard subscription.

I totally agree. I just bought the new flip HD camcorder for myself b/c I was originally looking at it for my brother. But I knew I wanted it...not him. Plus, didn't feel like wasting the time telling the family that I wanted it!

Well, I've just learned I'm getting a book by W.G. Sebald for Christmas. Any one will do.

Yes indeed, "that peculiar but serene stage in life when all I want is less." That's Bartlett's-quality, Rodge.

H.W.? S.M.? What's that Hindu custom called, where one who reaches a certain age gives up what he has and lives more or less as a beggar?

My 103-year-old pal Merci had been tossing things out or giving them away long before I met her at age 93. Anticipating her eventual death (to which she looked forward), she told me "I've been through this twice, and I wouldn't want anybody else to have to go through it." She'd been saddled with the task of packing up the estates of her mother and an aunt.

Now and then she'd show me the things she was saving. An impromptu wooden fish, cracked with age and the paint fading, made for her by a friend 40 or 50 years before, commemorating her move to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, where she'd been living before I met her... on another day, a vase with several green parrot feathers taped to it.

She showed me this vase after telling me a remarkable story. The parrot's name was Paul, and it was likely over 80 years old when it died in 1920. It had belonged to her great aunt's fiance, a military band leader in India who'd been lost at sea. He'd sent Paul ahead as a gift; that was about 1890 and the parrot was pretty old by then. Paul was a marvelous talker and quite a character, with strong likes and dislikes of the household people -- he'd say so.

One day Paul climbed on her shoulder, said "good night!" into her ear, then died. So, the vase with Paul's feathers were going to her great great grandchildren and beyond.

Also going to her progeny were what was left of a bag of silver coins. Everybody who got married in her family was given a coin from that leather sack. It came from her husband's great grandfather.

Around 1850, young Campbell jumped shipped from Scotland and wandered around the U.S.; in Virginia he encountered a young woman who'd be the love of his life. Her father told him that if he could bring $1500 in silver, the young lady was his.

So, young Campbell hiked from Virginia to Oregon and started up a logging business with a young German named Weyerhauser. In a few years Campbell made the $1500; he brought the bag of coins back to the farmer, collected his new wife, and went on to build one of the biggest fortunes in U.S. History, Weyerhauser lumber and Campbell soup. His wife eventually retrieved the dowry bag from her father and began the tradition of handing a coin out to newly married Campbells.

An old wooden fish, a vase with green parrot feathers taped to it, and an old bag with some coins left over from 1850. These things, deemed worth saving by an heiress to one of the world's largest fortunes who by then was most content living in a little bungalow in an alley around the corner from me. She gave me some sheets I didn't need. Otherwise we'd go halfsies on the wine.

She'd given the fortune away 40 years before I met her, keeping a little stipend for herself. She despised the idea of moving in with any of her kids on their estates.

I may as well add, too, that she's one of the few very wealthy people I've met who wasn't just plain mizzuble. There's something to that peculiar state of wanting less, Roger.

How about a nice pair of socks?

If I get a pair, I'll wear them as I make my Christmas supper in your fancy rice pot. Promise.

Ebert: Get them for yourself. From me. :)

Hello all,

I've been down with flu for over a week and a half and it shows no signs of abating, so I might finally consult a doctor. I've been in bed all this time and away from the computer and am likely to remain so until I'm better, so I'm sorry I shan't be able to keep up with the comments.

Roger, I'll keep up with the journal entries and film reviews.

In case I'm not back to commenting before next year -

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR

EXTRA LOVE TO THE EBERTS, THE DARKS, MARIE, JOHN IN DENVER, MIKE DORAN, GRACE WANG, DAVE VAN DYKE - sorry if I forgot anyone, I've got quite a fever.

XOXOXOXOX

Indian Idiot (H.W.)

P.S. New year resolution - do not get embroiled in political discussions, unless you recognise opponents to be sane :)

Ebert: Week and a half Tell me it's not swine flu.

Ebert: Think they'll take a credit card or PayPal?

All I can find is a contact address( news@shakespeareandcompany.com ), can't hurt to ask, and in case of a negative I reiterate my offer :) I end up there almost every weekend anyway.

I humbly submit:

http://sdrury.wordpress.com/2009/12/13/the-nextflix-decade-the-best-movies-of-the-2000s/

Ebert: Just tweeted.

Hello Mr. Ebert,
I was wondering if you've ever considered writing an autobiography. Have you? I think you should write your autobiography! You have quite a story to tell and it would be very interesting. You have led quite an interesting and great life and I would love to read about it i your autobiography. What do you think?

And a merry all this to you too, H.W.,

I detect what you've got is a case of the blues. As your doctor, I recommend a viewing of "Sita Sings the Blues." Mind you I'm not so much as a pagan. I know good blues when I hear it, and that's good blues. It's good for what ails ye.

Blues music was created for people with the blues to feel better. As American southern Bluesist Johnny Winter sang, "I make my living feeling rotten; that's why I love to sing the blues."

And he was right. So it's "Sita Sings the Blues" for you. You'll be up and about in no time.

Yours,

Doctor Thos. H. Dark, B.P. (Blues Practitioner)

@ Tom Dark wrote:

"Marie! MY second and third favorite gifts in the past... gee whiz, maybe since I got that model plane at age 11... was a vial of dirt from somewhere around Santa Fe! And a vial of water from the Ganges.."

Brethren!

And how cool - water from the Ganges!

I've got a piece of the Berlin wall; it's extremely satisfying to know that an artist (moi) holds a piece of its ultimate fate. And that which once served to confine the human spirit, is now in the hands of free spirits everywhere.

Yeah! So.. so that that evil dark forces! :)

I find the stuff I get the most excited about and value more than anything, are indeed items akin to dirt; humble things of little if any monetary value.

Although that said...

Books walk the fence of the above as you can find a treasure at a yard sale for 50 cents or spend a fortune, eh?

@ Indian Idiot (H.W.)...

Awww, you're sick? Bummer. I hope it won't last too long.

Chicken soup! That's what you need. Chicken soup and made in a rice cooker!

And comedies. Watch a lot of comedies! Laughter has healing properties. Rent "The Hangover" and make sure you're eating chicken soup when they show the scene with the chicken.

Smile.

The part about RADIOSHIFT seems interesting but for no cost I've been using RADIOTIME for station and program links and the free version of NCH Swiftsound WavePad for recording. I've been very pleased with the way both have worked for me so I would need more selling points on RADIOSHIFT.

My gift for you and all other radio-loving readers is a recommendation of "The WRVO Playhouse" which airs nightly on WRVO-FM in Oswego, New York and streams via www.wrvo.fm. They have one of the biggest and best collections of classic radio dramas and comedies anywhere. "Playhouse" is where I first heard the British show "I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again" which featured John Cleese as a cast member and Eric Idle as a writer in their pre-Monty Python days. What a brilliantly funny show! Merry Christmas and Happy 2010.

Hi PF. I'll take a stab at your sincere question about the non-breadwinner buying a present.

I've been married 28 years now (plus 4 years dating).

For the first 15 years my wife did not work outside of the home, in the hopes of us starting a family. I was the sole breadwinner. I always had the attitude of "my money is our money". So, if she used some of our money to buy me a present, that was fine with me.

Later, she made a little bit of money outside of the home. She put that in a separate account and used it as a little savings account. Isn't that cute, I thought. She bought my present out of that money.

Now, she's working 20 hours / week at a better job and making more. That check disappears into her separate account. It's kind of like "my money is our money, and her money is her money".

Now, I'm going "hey, wait a minute here....". But, that is for another question and another post. :)

Just enjoy buying presents for each other.

And forgive each other every day your little imperfections. Just a little added bonus secret there for you.

Roger,

Good for you. I was expecting another rant against Creationsim and how that somehow relates to Christmas, or maybe how Christmas is offensive because the word 'Christ' is in it.

Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to see a more light-hearted entry recommending some pretty cool gifts. Again, good for you. I'm glad you were able to set aside your animus against Creationism and those who suscribe to it, if just for a couple weeks.

Happy holidays...hope you get some of the gifts you really want.

Jeremy

I wasn't going to post anything, but I'm gushing with excitement reading about all of these Christmas "treats." I have Criterion's Wings of Desire and Planet Earth Blu-rays waiting under my stocking(or backpack, in my case.) Oh, and a Jean Renoir "interviews" book. yay

And thank you for the Buster Keaton video post: I've never seen this one before. It has elements of Steamboat Bill, jr.

(Sigh) Nothing like unwinding and watching Keaton at the end of a long day.

@ Tom Dark "H.W.? S.M.? What's that Hindu custom called, where one who reaches a certain age gives up what he has and lives more or less as a beggar?"

I personally don't know of anyone who followed the "custom", though it is mentioned in the old books. It is named Vanaprastha" or "taking to the woods".

Hey Roger! Here is my holiday gift to you, something that I enjoyed reading, and in case you haven't seen it yet:

The year isn’t over yet and Quentin Tarantino still has a few big movies to see. But he recently did a little interview with THR in which he give his top 8 favorite films of 2009 so far. He explains that he still has yet to see Avatar, The Lovely Bones, or Invictus, and also admits that he has to re-watch a couple other films like Bright Star and District 9. But here is his list:

Quentin Tarantino’s Top 8 Films of 2009...So Far:

1. Star Trek

2. Drag Me to Hell

3. Funny People

4. Up in the Air

5. Chocolate

6. Observe & Report

7. Precious

8. An Education

Interesting eh? I was very pleased to see Funny People on there!

Happy holidays Roger,
Jordan W.

My mother has been wanting something like the Elgato device for years now! I know you said you have it already, but how does the quality turn out in the transfer from VHS to DVD? Is it the same as the VHS quality, or does it lose some of it in the transfer (if that makes any sense at all!)? I also enjoy how you used this blog entry to advertise for your own book. Quite clever if I do say so myself!

Merry Christmas :)

Ebert: It will be faithful to the VHS quality.

Roger said: “Week and a half Tell me it's not swine flu.”

Thanks for asking Roger, it'd be difficult to contract, seeing as I haven't stepped out in close to six months..
The doctor's just been, apparently it's some sort of viral fever, I've been prescribed some very strong antibiotics because my immune system doesn't appear to be up to scratch.

Marie, on the other thread, I was referring to the fictionalised Nietzschean Zarathustra, not his (perhaps real) Persian ancestor Zoroaster. Religious Zoroastrians, antithetical to Nietzsche's anti-god ideas, have got beliefs which would make your head spin – their last rites consist of leaving the body of the deceased at the top of a tower, suspended between the two extremes of heaven and hell, a carrion feast for birds of prey. Unconventional, somehow seems an inadequate description of it, but, I still disagree with the Islamic Iranian government from disallowing the Zoroastrians, who far predated Islam, to not perform their rites in accordance with their religious beliefs.

Doctor Dark, thank you for your diagnosis and you're right. I've got the December blues, soon it'll be the January blues and so on. I've been meaning to watch “Sita Sings the Blues” for some time, ever since Roger wrote about it actually, maybe I'll watch it now that I have some free time. I'll have to look up Johnny Winter, thanks for that, oh and also, the little Christmassy number, that was nice, very uptempo, thanks for that.

Rog, I remember your discussion of Sita Sings the Blues and remember agreeing with you and thinking the criticisms flung at you by many Indians primitive and unbecoming. I wasn't commenting then, but I apologise on their behalf now.

Back in a few days.

Indian Idiot (H.W.)

Ebert: The immune system thrives from sunlight, which I presume you get out enough to absorb? And you eat fruits and veggies? Now take an aspirin and go to bed.

"One Week" was great. Thanks for posting the entire movie. Speaking of which, wasn't there a Buster Keaton Collection that came out ten or so years ago?

As for me, I'm hoping that I get a laptop and Internet for Christmas, as I'll be moving from my current location (with friends) to a place with neither (a shared house) on Friday. So if I seem to have vanished from the comment threads of various blogs in the coming weeks, that's why. Which leads me to my next wish list item: a full-time job. Hopefully not in retail. Or in telemarketing. And will pay more than what I'm making right now.

But, I am hopeful that things will turn out all right. After all, a new year is almost upon us...

Ebert: Yes, the boxed set from Kino included restored versions of all his silent features and a great many shorts. The restorations helped me realize what damaged orints I'd seen up until then.

Roger, I read your "25th Hour" review.

Also read the unofficial companion piece "Broken Embraces" review.

Just wanted to say great work and I think you may just be right with the conclusions you come to with both films. Movies, emotions, life and style... all move faster than our little (from God's POV, not much bigger than dinosaur) brains can catch up. I think these are the reviews I may most remember you by because they also communicate how people feel when they read your writing, the thinking happens in hindsight.

Rice cooker splitter/splutter/splatter update: throw a paper towel atop the lid and all will be well. I saw this in action today. Coincidence?

In the room I'm writing this, I can look up and see a photo of me 40-plus years ago, looking up at a woman I thought was my grandma. She's wearing a kimono she made herself of a distinctive hand-dyed pattern abandoned for decades now. She's puckered up, blowing bubbles, and I'm wide-eyed, learning how. Decades later, I learned she was my mother's best friend's mother, who decided to be for us the grandmother we never had, never could have. My mother and her best friend are still best friends and giggle like girls. My mother turned 78 yesterday, Last year, the best friend came to visit and saw the photo. And now she's sent me that kimono. It fits. Every seam is stitched by hand, tight and flawless; the cotton--dyed by her own family--is so, so soft but still vibrant, and the bold pattern bobs and undulates with each step I take in it. I'm not one for Christmas, but I have gotten my several gifts: time, timelessness, dreams and memories, light to the touch and stitched to last, matchlessly, more precisely and permanently than from any time machine. Soapy bubbles rising and popping all over. Life in black and white.

I am still trying to picture cooking oatmeal in the rice cooker. I LOVE oatmeal & always add a diblet - any small amt- of butter to the oats at the start of cooking. It makes for a lovely texture. I will try & report my success. Obviously, I don't cook much...

But I look forward to becoming self sufficient in the kitchen with my new rice cooker! All of those pizza boxes add up in more ways than one...

The on line subscription gift suggestions are great!!! Salon.com as a gift - excellent idea! Thanks!

Ebert: I've never added butter to rice cooker oatmeal.

Roger, you asked seriously for rice recipes for an upcoming recipe book? After I read your terse treatise on cooking via the innocent "miracle rice cooker" link? You want measurements?! Ahahahahahahahaha!

We-e-e-e-e-lll---there's the rice and the liquid, and whatever else ya wanna throw in! Mix some oil with the rice before adding liquid if you wanna keep the grains separate. Broth insteada water for extra flavor: fish, chicken, veggie broth--whatever you're in the mood for, but check the sodium levels. My niece found a matsutake mushroom and sent it over in a paper bag; we sliced it up and threw it in for its delicate flavor. How much? One mushroom's worth, minus the dirt. Today it was creative paella: brown rice and whatever the heck seemed worth putting in, or wasn't in demand as leftovers, or was available. That's what paella's always been. Ditto for fried rice. This from the guy who said throwing in some frozen peas isn't a bad idea? Hey, my family doesn't label jars of anything ("Just open it and smell!") Feel that? That's me, shoving your shoulder with a forefinger. You're funny.

Ebert: Now you're cookin'.

Dear Roger,
Herewith please find your TOTALLY unsolicited Christmas gift.

How pleasant to meet Ogden Nash.
He sent doggerel up a new path.
'Twas marvel to hear,
How he trumped Mr. Lear,
With his pelicans, shays, and giraffes.

Broth usually contains salt (sodium); the grains will toughen in response. The remedy is to throw in a tablespoon of alcohol--cheap cooking wine, sake or cooking sake, whatever, I have no experience with whisky, but vodka works fine. The grains will open up tenderly. My mother says this is very old knowledge shared over millenia.

P.S. Did you know that when making a beer dish such as a stew or beer batter, the cheapest beer works as well as the pricier stuff? True! I learned this the expensive way: by hewing to a cookbook for too long.

If I recall correctly, Elgato has a version of their video device that will stream videos directly to your (or, more properly, Chaz's) iPhone or iTouch.

And as for the Kurosawa set - yes, I've been lusting after that one myself.

Ebert: have my own iPhone!

I did the survey. Quite a few of those movies haven't had wide releases yet, so on a couple I just had to make educated guesses (more than I can say for the Academy sometimes). I haven't seen "A Serious Man" or "Up in the Air" yet, so "Inglourious Basterds" was the clear choice for me for all major categories (I'm not even sure how "Where the Wild Things" got nominated). I'm curious to see who wins, though.

Also, I'll definitely be checking out that book.

Woops woops woops! Wrong URL!

HERE's the Christmas gift for everybody from my darling friend Maya Caballero:

http://www.myspace.com/mayacaballero

Click on "Brand New Christmas Song" and everything else.

Sharp car!

Ebert: Did you say you were looking for a present for me?

I suppose that the gift you would get from me, hypothetically speaking, would be Ambaya Gold ORME Zeolite (http://ambayagold.com/zeolite.html). This is for purely selfish reasons; I want you around for as many years as you can possibly (comfortably) squeeze out, and this stuff is pretty amazing.

Of course, you could also just give yourself the gift of publishing your rice cooker cookbook!

Ebert: Andrews and McMeel is going to publish it for me. I'm afraid with Zeolite I might outlive my prime. Keep 'em wanting more! Isn't that what Durante said?

And, of course, you'll do it all your way, in the finest tradition of the Chairman of the Board! You may (hopefully not!) choose to retire, but you should always endeavor to keep your health until the end. It might not be old age that gets you, after all. You could get hit by a bus, stepped on by a Godzilla, eaten by zombies... Or, there's always soap poisoning from your childhood exposure to Lifebuoy.

As to your book, whenwhenwhenwhenwhen?! I've got a birthday coming up, you see. I need to germinate some gift ideas among my friends and family. They know me pretty well, but sometimes don't communicate well; a couple of Christmases back, I received two copies of Steve Martin's "Born Standing Up". Which was great, I've got a photo of me holding them like big bunny ears over my head. The problem was that I'd purchased and read it myself two months prior to that. So, now my sisters and I conspire behind each-others' backs so we don't repeat again. As much as I'd love to say that I received four copies of your rice cooker cookbook for my birthday, alas, it will likely never be. Whenever it hits the shelves, it will have a very welcome place next to my "Joy of Cooking" and "Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Volume One."

Thank you for recommending "My Turf". Dad and Grandpa are hard to buy for and they are both sports fans who seem to know a little bit of everything about everything. Seemed perfect. Wouldn't want it myself, though, although I do appreciate good writing.

You failed to mention that it was published 5 years ago. I thought I could run out to the store and pick up a couple copies. Good thing you can check store inventory online at the major bookstores. Also good that Barnes and Noble have it in stock and have FREE express shipping so it might be here by Christmas.

I got into an argument with my boyfriend over the rice cooker cookbook. Since you can't eat anymore, he doesn't think you should publish a cookbook. I disagree. You used to eat stuff you made in the pot and I got the impression that you still serve stuff you make in the pot, so what's the problem? If you were a runner and got into an accident that left you paralyzed, should you forego publishing that book on running tips that you were planning?

I have a simple little rice cooker. Made a real good chicken paprikash in it. Don't remember if it was from your pot blog or from a recipe website, but I did follow a recipe. I like cooking, but I'm afraid to just throw stuff in the pot without having some kind of guideline. I'm looking forward to your cookbook. I just won't serve my boyfriend any of the sure to be delicious dishes that I make from it!

Thanks again and Happy Holidays!

Ebert: It's a great book. He also wrote the first-hand biography of Secretariat, who he knew from birth to death.

Jeanne Moreau once told me she had rarely seen one of her movies: "My job is to make them. Your job is to see them."

Same thing with cookbooks, eh?

This has nothing to do with this article, but are you on twitter or is that an imposer? (I'm not joking)

Ebert: That's me. @ebertchicago

Just in case Santa (or his friends) was wondering what to get me...

Last week, Gulfstream announced the first flight of its large-cabin, mid-range G250 business jet. The test flight reached 32,000 feet and achieved speeds up to 253 knots.

Powered by a pair of Honeywell HTF7250G turbofans, the G250's design maximum speed is Mach .85 with a range of 3,400 nautical miles at Mach .80 — linking city pairs such as New York-London. Maximum cruising altitude is 45,000 feet.

Classed as a super mid-size, the G250 was designed in collaboration with Israel Aerospace Industries and the first flight departed from Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv, Israel.

Presse Henne, Gulfstream's vice president of programs, engineering and test said, "We're looking forward to 2011 when we'll begin delivering this aircraft to the customers who had tremendous input in its design." (end)

Now what should we get Roger?

Check out the new NEC CRV43 monitor, a 43-inch curved display with a 32:10 aspect ratio and native resolution of 2880x900.

NEC says the display will have a street price of $8,000.

A curved monitor with enough real estate for three web pages, side by side. Just the thing Roger needs to write this blog.

but I wanted to ask first, before I ordered it or anything.

i once believed that gift cards to a retailer were stupid gifts because it was like giving someone cash while saying, "BUT - you can only spend it at this one store." i argued that it was more efficient to just give cash to spent anywhere.

i later realized that if you give someone cash, they'll use it to pay bills or something practical, but gifts are not about practicality. they're supposed to be a way to spoil someone for a moment. if you give them cash, they have the option be practical.

if you know someone loves movies, give them a movie theater giftcard because it forces them to take a break from the world and go to a movie. if you know they love clothes, force them to go shopping for themselves with a card for a certain clothing store that you know they'd choose. it seems very impersonal, but it really does give them a chance to indulge themselves for a moment. maybe longer.

A great way to introduce someone to Buster Keaton is Kino's Blu-ray version of THE GENERAL. Stunning video, three different music soundtracks to choose from, and a nice collection of extras.

I've always loved Christmas. Yes, it makes a lot of people sad, but that's because the sometimes forced faux cheer of the season only highlights how dour and depressed they are the rest of the year. Call me crazy, but I'd rather be happy for silly made up reasons then ALWAYS be gloomy for "good" reasons. Sometimes you gotta take off the yoke around your neck and enjoy yourself. Life's short eh?

One of my favorite activities is buying presents, for the totally selfish reason of wanting to genuinely delight someone with a gift that makes them feel as if they've gotten something they always wanted without ever knowing exactly what that something was until they finished tearing of the wrapping.

Of course, this sort of thing is best done with close friends and family, that way you can best anticipate what that person would like. It may take a bit of Freudian or Jungian deduction, but everyone has a secret something they want/need that's a mystery even to them. Usually, it's no harder than buying some Miyazaki to a fan of classic Walt Disney animated films. Sometimes it requires a bit more thought. This year I bought one of my cousins an ancient Radio Shack TRS-80 MC10 computer. Because it was his first computer and he was always happy when he used it. The note that will go with the gift will be "To go forward, you must go back..." He'll understand.

Now, doing this with people you don't know is not playing fair. So I don't attempt it, but... I'll break that rule just this once and try it with Roger. I don't know him that well and we've never met, but I've read enough of his reviews and blogs to gain some insight into his psyche. So what would Roger want, without knowing that he wants it? Hmmm...

#1 The House of Leaves, by Mark Z. Danielewski.
I don't think there has ever been a horror novel written in the form of a film review/analysis before. So right off the bat, you gotta give House points for originality. It's a labyrinth of plot, theme, ideas, concepts, story and storytelling; and I'm not sure that anyone who reads the book makes his way out of it whole. I know that I met the minotaur once or twice, that's for sure. I won't even try to untangle all the threads making up the plot, but I will say that it's about a man named Johnny who finds an acedemic study of a documentary called "The Navidson Record" about a photographer who buys a house that seems to defy the laws of physics. Most of the book then goes on to describe this documentary (which has gone missing) in great detail. If this sounds somewhat convoluted, it's because it is.

Know what though? It's something amazing to read. Words cannot describe. I can't even tell you if it's good. Only that you'd never forget reading it.

#2 Viva La Vie! by Claude Lelouch
This french film came out in 1984, but the release seems to have been so small that I'm not sure any english speaking people have ever even seen it. Certainly, it's never been released on DVD in english markets. Yet, I've always wondered why the cold reception since this movie is truly a hidden gem. Think of Testament meets Close Encounters meets the French New Wave and you're only beginning to scratch the surface layers of this film. Sure, it's maddeningly cryptic at times, and not always good, but isn't that a flaw of honest art? That it doesn't baby step you through itself and allows mistakes to creep in? Lelouch famously made one of my favorite shorts of all time "C'étais un Rendez-vous", and if even though this film wasn't made in the 60's heydey of French cinema, it could have been.

Another reason for this choice is that Roger has seen a crapload of films, and this is one that I can be reasonably sure he's never seen.

#3 A Crock Pot
A rice cooker can make almost everything, but a crock pot can make almost everything else. Toss in some bison meat, some green peppers, some diced organic tomatoes and tomato juice, some onions, flavouring and a whole lot of kidney beans, and 8 hours later you've got yourself the best chili north of the Texas state line.

I can only think of three gifts off the top of my head, but I think I nailed at least one.

In any case, gifts aren't what Christmas is about, but good company with good friends. So I'll wish Roger that. Best gift I could give.

Ebert: Just give me the bison and I'll decide for myself how to cook it.

Barbequed on a spit is good.

Every time I go into town I pass a herd of Bison. They don't much excite my appetite.

For one reason, I've already had bison aka buffalo. The meat's pretty darned dry. Gussying it up doesn't help much. A long soak in a hot crockpot might help, dunno, but the meat doesn't have the coherence steer does.

Have tried chili from the Pacific coast to Looziana, including chili festivals. Best I've found, green or red, is in a little town in New Mexico called Hatch. Nothing like it anywhere. Say... there's a gift for somebody who's not all that crazy about chili. They will be. Just google Hatch Chili and you'll find it.

We discussed this on Blogs of my Blog, din't we?

I love the tech suggestions. I noticed that a few were Mac products. How I love Mac's products! Some of my PC friends just don't understand how cool and versatile Macs are. I am going to direct my friends to your blog posting.

BTW - This October I used a friend's pick ax to dig up some ivy in the yard. The job took me all of 10 minutes! (I used to pull up the ivy using using a shovel and my hands. The task was frustrating and time consuming.) There is something to be said about practical gifts as well. I hope to see the pick ax's familiar shape wrapped under the tree Christmas morning as well as a Roku.

Happy Holidays!

I just ordered the Zojirushi rice cooker for my mom!

I checked out your list of books and after seeing two favorites on it (Suttree and A Fine Balance), I decided to try Willa Cather's O Pioneers. I enjoyed it so much that I'm now reading The Professor's House. How did I miss her writing all these years? (Another reason I picked Cather's work is that I loved reading Harriet Doerr's Stones for Ibarra and Consider This Senora, and when I was hunting down some of Cather's works in a local secondhand bookstore, I stumbled across Death Comes for the Archbishop; it seems like a natural segue, but time will tell.) Anyway, we are still enjoying our rice cooker very much, here at 4700 feet above sea level. And based on your review, my husband and I just watched Inglourious Basterds.

I just want you to know how much pleasure you bring to our lives (although my friends have been known to dive down dark alley ways to avoid meeting me on the streets on Thursday nights --after your reviews come out--but I consider that a small price to pay for the enlightenment and joy you bring us).

Take care, Roger, and may the coming year be a good one for you and your lovely wife.

Ebert: "The Professor's House." Oh, yes. The evocation of those kivas. Tom's decision. The life and marriage of the professor. That woman never wrote a bad sentence.

(Maybe a bit late, but this just came in from Meri at the Chuck Jones Art Gallery in Santa Fe)

...Also, “Neytiri” a Limited Edition of 50, is the only one that is hand-signed by James Cameron. What a wonderful time to be part of the dawning of a new film and Painting process. That’s right! Besides the state-of-the-art visual effects, several of these new Avatar releases are being released in the brand-new VISTACHROME print-making process. Ultra-vibrant and laminated on ¼” plexi-glass, these sensational works of Art will saturate your home with the intensity of the soon to be blockbuster film. For complete details, please call me at 800-290-5999 or at meri@lje.com.

Yours truly,

Meri

Meri Williams

Art Consultant

Chuck Jones Gallery-Santa Fe

1-800-290-5999

meri.lje.com

@ Tom Dark wrote:

"...Ultra-vibrant and laminated on ¼” plexi-glass, these sensational works of Art will saturate your home with the intensity of the soon to be blockbuster film... Chuck Jones Gallery-Santa Fe."

Are you SERIOUS?!

You're kidding, right?

I don't even know what Ultra-vibrant and laminated means, Marie. Is that not good? XOXOXOX

I reckon this is the better thread to muse on this. Roger's wry Creationists and New Agers blog has been co-opted once again by boy-talk, the armchair scientists versus the amateur theologians going merrily around and around on how misguided are each other about The Beginning Of The Universe. Never the twain shall meet, and vive le difference. At least it's not an endless thread of arguing about 'ball stats.

(William Nack's MY TURF is a wonderful read because it's not an endless litany of 'ball stats. I didn't know that's how young Muhammad Ali was, nor Sonny Liston, nor of the steroid murders, and it's all fascinating; have already read it twice. Having grown up in Saratoga while Secretariat was King added to my fascination. Nack hung out where I cracked lobster for a job. He said the lobster was great at the Wishing Well, where I didn't crack lobster, but did play music.)

Back to the 'ball stat thread of evolution vs. churcholution: Dave VanDyke had to bow out for awhile. He wishes everybody a Happy Xmas, not a Merry Xmas, because "we're not living in 19th Century London," I believe was the time and locale he specified.

That got me to thinking moreso than whether Darwin's head had more muscles in it than a caterpillar's and whether Divine or random idiocy created either.

I don't want a happy Christmas, I'm already happy. I want a merry Christmas. Are me and 19th Century London obsolete? Fading anachronisms dimmed to insignificance in the harsh new technological lights of Modern Science and Society? No more "Merry"? Merry outdated? Merry purposeless? Merry feckless, shortsighted and unfit for survival?

I thought back to my 19th C. reading (which was probably a few weeks ago; right now I've run across 16th C. Rabelais again. "Household fart" is still an hilarious term, outdated or not).

As a matter of fact, in the 19th C. gentlemen of London and everywhere else were merry, when they felt merry. They'd hold each other arm in arm and skip gaily down the street! They'd regale one the other with bon mots and ripostes! They'd play merry jokes on each the other and sometimes upon the whole town! And indeed, sirs and gentlewomen, they looked upon their moments of merriment with great fondness! Some, so fondly regarded that they wrote them down, and we are even today forced to read of these merriments in English class for grading!

Even in Boswell's London Journal -- that's the 18th C. -- we see accountings of sheer merriment. Young Boswell was 22 when he met 60 year old Doctor Samuel Johnson, a more than portly man, whose height and girth alike intimidated most who encountered him. One day on a walk together, Johnson decided merrily to run ahead of young, spry Boswell.

This king-sized tub of literary lard, whose veins stuck out of his head while he eat (not "ate") a-sweating and a-gobbling, and when not doing that, a-shone with an eruditic dignity that casts a great shadow to this day, yet in the mood for a spontaneous trot on those old beknickered stubs of his! The venerable Samuel Johnson, a Favorite of the King, running through an orchard in sheer elan! I submit to you a merry man of the past!

...not for mere exercise, the bane of Modern Science and Society, but for spontaneous fun! Old Johnson was in a merry mood at the moment and gave vent to it. People used to do that.

People no longer do that. We run to "save our lives" (like Jim Fixx, who dropped dead jogging; he would have lived minutes fewer if not for the exercise!); we run to elude the cops, to catch a bus, or in case we need to become a high-paid sports figure; any other reason for running for anyone over age 4 is suspicious.

The word "merry" isn't outdated, we're simply not merry any more. We have become, in comparison, near-morbidly dour. ("Dour" also existed in the 19th C.; for some reason it's not outdated.)

We're not merry. We're obsessed with money and career and the irksome superstition called "self-improvement." When we're not bombarded with scandals, wars and People Far Richer than You Are, we're rooting for food that will prevent us from our ineluctable demises, if only by minutes. Our mayonnaise is dangerous. Our milk is dangerous. Our eggs are dangerous. Anything with fat in it is dangerous. The disgusting habits of our neighbors could kill us. Germs are out to get us. Stress is bad for you. No, it's good for you. No, it's bad for you. Here, put this on. It'll count how many steps you walk to the store. Watch out for carjackers, child molesters and Jehovah's Witnesses.

I thought of going on with this litany, 'ball stat style, but I'm sure each of you could come up with a more ominous litany of potential evils than I could. So chant away. I'll wait. Ready? A-one, a-two, a-three...

I like to talk about my horses. Some will forgive, these animals and their ways are still new to me. "Merry" is the precise word for their behavior this afternoon. This afternoon I tromped in my sandals through the germ-infested horsepoop which I hadn't cleaned up yet (some of it's frozen) to take a little nap in the afternoon sun. The Southwestern sun is always very warm, whatever the air temperature. It's a great lie-down.

Four of these huge animals sauntered up and surrounded my outdoor bed. They took turns pestering me, one at a time. Nibble me here, nibble me there, pull my pants, my sweatshirt, wribble and wrurbble and wrabble those big horse lips around my pockets, nose and arms and chest and legs, nip to make me jump, anything but let me nap. Each with the merriest expression in his eyes.

You are merry when the upper and lower portions of your eyes are both curved upward, brows too. So are theirs. This instruction is for those who can't imagine animals are not permanently fixed in a mirthless "struggle for survival." They were merry animals. They made me merry, too.

Catt woke up grumpy this morning. So, I grabbed her around the waist from behind and sang "Oh she's a grumpy girl, such a grumpy, grumpy girl, yes what a grumpy girl..." and danced her around a bit while she was trying to get dressed. Shortly she turned merry.

I'll be making merry with the visitors who'll be showing up in a few days. We'll all hug merrily when we meet and hug merrily when they leave. Al and I will doubtless be making merry with some pricey bad-for-you cigars and some estimable single-malt scotch. We will play merrily with their 5-year old and their 2-year old and whatever other merry little pumpkins may show up, never enough of 'em for me.

And that is the merry Christmas I wish every one of you.

...and for god's sakes, at least try to be happy the rest of the year.

Roger, you might want to know about a Xmas present Criterion got everyone this year:

http://criterioncast.com/2009/12/21/criterion-on-netflix/

For those who don't already have a Netflix account, you have no excuse now.

I didn't think I would be adding anything to this thread. I've never been a "gift" person - either giving or recieving - but the collegial air of this journal got me to thinking.

And then it occurred to me that one of the best possible gifts I could give to anyone is right here in the Journal archives... if you're willing to look for it.

Here are your Instructions:

1) Go to the September archives and call up the "Blog Of My Blogs" thread.

2) Scroll down to the embed of Mitch Miller and the Sing-Along Gang doing "Heart Of My Heart".

3) When that number finishes, the "related videos" com up at the bottom of the screen. Find the one of Mitch and the Gang singing Roger's favorite song, "Red River Valley".

4) for the next four minutes, just listen.

5) You're welcome.

While you're listening, you might want to bear this in mind:
You're hearing twenty-five voices - six first tenors, six second tenors, six baritones, and seven basses - and each group is singing a slightly different melody.
But somehow it all comes together, and the result is truly awesome.

What's that got to do with the blog?

Think about it.

And whatever your holiday may be, make it a merry one.

(And keep next Fourth of July open - It'll be Mitch Miller's 99th birthday.)

Ebert: Wow. Just wow.

And, once you start clicking...

Leonard Cohen (!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4Hnky4B46A

Asian-American cowboys: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-A5x7wkOn9E

Ancient Japanese flute: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AjtjF0hBWE

Banjo Doji ar the Satomi Bluegrass Festival: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_dSMBNyBmQ

Blues on an air-key harmonica: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFiDomvJ9EA

Weissenborn Lap Slide guitar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mdo4omougU

Judy Collins and Kris Kristofferson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFyBCBBCjOg

Johnny and the Hurricanes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91S2WeWhcsM

Dimitri Tiomkin's soundtrack for "Red River:" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7Wh1kMQnhs

Hi Roger,

I just want to leave a short note to wish you and Chaz a very Merry Christmas. Your blog has been a year round gift to me. An oasis of sorts. Not only for your writing, but also for the writing of the many fine commenters you have managed to gather around you. When I visit your blog, I feel I am in their company and yours, and it is very pleasant company indeed.

Best wishes, now and in the future.

With affection,
Karl

I often get many surprising gifts.
i always keep them as beautiful memory !

Nobody got upset when I suggested a new Gulfstream mid-range G250 business jet would make a cool Christmas present.

Just saw this when I logged on:

American actor Morgan Freeman has bought a new private jet from the Emirates Investment and Development Company (Emivest). The 72-year-old Oscar-winner, who has a private pilot's licence, flew his new SJ30 from Los Angeles to Dubai.

The SJ30 is "the world's fastest, longest-range and highest-flying light jet".

The official price tag for the SJ30 has not been released, but it is said that Freeman bought his plane for about $7 million.

Driving Miss Daisy, indeed.

Back in 2007, Tom Cruise spent $3.5 million for a World War II Mustang P-51D "Montana Miss" ... to join his Pitts Special S-2B stunt plane and his Gulfstream IV jet.

GUARDIAN: Vulgar wealth and Versace have always gone hand in hand, and the latest accessory is a Versace private jet. For £10m or so Donatella will fit out your private jet with her trademark leather sofas, or for £100m you can have a Versace 747.... Roman Abramovich owns the big daddy of private jets - a Boeing 767 that would normally seat 180 people. He paid around £56m - and has spent many more millions fitting it out with bathrooms, giant plasma screens and, according to reports, lots of mahogany, walnut and gold. It's three times heavier than the biggest Gulfstream private jet. The 767 appears to be the monster private jet of choice for billionaires - the founders of Google have also bought one.

Merry Grinchmas, everyone!

Hwæt, ic swefna cyst secgan wylle,

hwæt mē gemætte to midre nihte,

syðþan reordberend reste wunedon.

þūhte mē þæt ic gesāwe syllicre trēow

on lyft lædan lēohte bewunden,

bēama beorhtost. Eall þæt bēacen wæs

begoten mid golde. Gimmas stōdon

fægere æt foldan scēatum, swylce þær fife wæron

uppe on þām eaxlgespanne. Behēoldon þær engel dryhtnes ealle,

fægere þurh forðgesceaft. Ne wæs ðær hūru fracodes gealga,

ac hine þær behēoldon hālige gāstas,

men ofer moldan ond eall þēos mære gesceaft.

Syllic wæs se sigebēam, ond ic synnum fāh,

forwunded mid wommum. Geseah ic wuldres trēow,

wædum geweorðod wynnum scīnan,

gegyred mid golde; gimmas hæfdon

bewrigen weorðlīce wealdendes trēow.

Hwæðre ic þurh þæt gold ongytan meahte

earmra ærgewin, þæt hit ærest ongan

swætan on þā swīðran healfe. Eall ic wæs mid sorgum gedrēfed,

forht ic wæs for þære fægran gesyhðe. Geseah ic þæt fūse bēacen

wendan wædum ond blēom; hwīlum hit wæs mid wætan bestēmed,

beswyled mid swātes gange, hwīlum* mid since gegyrwed.

Hwæðre ic þær licgende lange_hwīle

behēold hrēowcearig hælendes trēow,

oð ðæt ic gehyrde þæt hit hlēoðrode.

Ongan þā word sprecan wudu sēlesta:

‘Þæt wæs gēara_iū, (ic þæt gyta geman),

þæt ic wæs āhēawen holtes on ende,

āstyred of stefne mīnum. Genāman mē ðær strange fēondas,

geworhton him þær tō wæfersyne, hēton mē heora wergas hebban.

Bæron mē þær beornas on eaxlum, oððæt hīe mē on beorg āsetton,

gefæstnodon mē þær fēondas genōge. Geseah ic þā frean mancynnes

efstan elne micle, þæt hē mē wolde on gestīgan.

Þær ic þā ne dorste ofer dryhtnes word

būgan oððe berstan, þā ic bifian geseah

eorðan scēatas. Ealle ic mihte

fēondas gefyllan, hwæðre* ic fæste stōd.

Ongyrede hine þā geong hæleð, (þæt wæs god ælmihtig),

strang ond stīðmōd. Gestāh hē on gealgan hēanne,

mōdig on manigra gesyhðe, þā hē wolde mancyn lysan.

Bifode ic þā mē se beorn ymbclypte. Ne dorste ic hwæðre būgan tō eorðan,

feallan tō foldan scēatum, ac ic sceolde fæste standan.

Rōd wæs ic āræred. Āhōf ic rīcne cyning,

heofona hlāford, hyldan mē ne dorste.

Þurhdrifan hī mē mid deorcan næglum. On mē syndon þā dolg gesīene,

opene inwidhlemmas. Ne dorste ic hira ænigum sceððan.

Bysmeredon hīe unc būtū ætgædere. Eall ic wæs mid blōde bestēmed,

begoten of þæs guman sīdan, siððan hē hæfde his gāst onsended.

‘Feala ic on þām beorge gebiden hæbbe

wrāðra wyrda. Geseah ic weruda god

þearle þenian. Þystro hæfdon

bewrigen mid wolcnum wealdendes hræw,

scīrne scīman, sceadu forð ēode,

wann under wolcnum. Wēop eal gesceaft,

cwīðdon cyninges fyll. Crīst wæs on rōde.

Hwæðere þær fūse feorran cwōman

tō þām æðelinge. Ic þæt eall behēold.

Sāre ic wæs sorgum gedrēfed, hnāg ic hwæðre þām secgum tō handa,

ēaðmōd elne mycle. Genāmon hīe þær ælmihtigne god,

āhōfon hine of ðām hefian wīte. Forlēton mē þā hilderincas

standan stēame bedrifenne; eall ic wæs mid strælum forwundod.

Ālēdon hīe þær limwērigne, gestōdon him æt his līces hēafdum,

behēoldon hīe þær heofenes dryhten, ond hē hine þær hwīle reste,

mēðe æfter ðām miclan gewinne. Ongunnon him þā moldern wyrcan

beornas on banan gesyhðe; curfon hīe ðæt of beorhtan stāne,

gesetton hīe ðæron sigora wealdend. Ongunnon him þā sorhlēoð galan

earme on þā æfentīde, þā hīe woldon eft sīðian,

mēðe fram þām mæran þēodne. Reste hē ðær mæte weorode.

Hwæðere wē ðær grēotende gōde hwīle

stōdon on staðole, syððan stefn up gewāt

hilderinca. Hræw cōlode,

fæger feorgbold. Þā ūs man fyllan ongan

ealle tō eorðan. Þæt wæs egeslic wyrd!

Bedealf ūs man on dēopan sēaþe. Hwæðre mē þær dryhtnes þegnas,

frēondas gefrūnon,

ond gyredon mē golde ond seolfre.

‘Nū ðū miht gehyran, hæleð mīn se lēofa,

þæt ic bealuwara weorc gebiden hæbbe,

sārra sorga. Is nū sæl cumen

þæt mē weorðiað wīde_on_sīde

menn ofer moldan, ond eall þēos mære gesceaft,

gebiddaþ him tō þyssum bēacne. On mē bearn godes

þrōwode hwīle. Forþan ic þrymfæst nū

hlīfige under heofenum, ond ic hælan mæg

æghwylcne ānra, þāra þe him bið egesa tō mē.

Iū ic wæs geworden wīta heardost,

lēodum lāðost, ær þan ic him līfes weg

rihtne gerymde, reordberendum.

Hwæt, mē þā geweorðode wuldres ealdor

ofer holtwudu, heofonrīces weard!

Swylce swā hē his mōdor ēac, Marīan sylfe,

ælmihtig god for ealle menn

geweorðode ofer eall wīfa cynn.

‘Nu ic þē hāte, hæleð mīn se lēofa,

þæt ðū þās gesyhðe secge mannum,

onwrēoh wordum þæt hit is wuldres bēam,

se ðe ælmihtig god on þrōwode

for mancynnes manegum synnum

ond Adomes ealdgewyrhtum.

Dēað hē þær byrigde, hwæðere eft dryhten ārās

mid his miclan mihte mannum tō helpe.

Hē ðā on heofanas āstāg. Hider eft fundaþ

on þysne middangeard mancynn sēcan

on dōmdæge dryhten sylfa,

ælmihtig god, ond his englas mid,

þæt hē þonne wile dēman, se āh dōmes geweald,

ānra gehwylcum swā hē him ærur hēr

on þyssum lænum līfe geearnaþ.

Ne mæg þær ænig unforht wesan

for þām worde þe se wealdend cwyð.

Frīneð hē for þære mænige hwær se man sīe,

se ðe for dryhtnes naman dēaðes wolde

biteres onbyrigan, swā hē ær on ðām bēame dyde.

Ac hīe þonne forhtiað, ond fēa þencað

hwæt hīe to Crīste cweðan onginnen.

Ne þearf ðær þonne ænig anforht wesan

þe him ær in breostum bereð bēacna sēlest,

ac ðurh ðā rōde sceal rīce gesēcan

of eorðwege æghwylc sāwl,

sēo þe mid wealdende wunian þenceð."

Gebæd ic mē þā to þām bēame blīðe mōde,

elne mycle, þær ic āna wæs

mæte werede. Wæs mōdsefa

āfysed on forðwege, feala ealra gebād

langunghwīla. Is mē nū līfes hyht

þæt ic þone sigebēam sēcan mōte

āna oftor þonne ealle men,

well weorþian. Mē is willa tō ðām

mycel on mōde, ond mīn mundbyrd is

geriht tō þære rōde. Nāh ic rīcra feala

frēonda on foldan, ac hīe forð heonon

gewiton of worulde drēamum, sōhton him* wuldres cyning,

lifiaþ nū on heofenum mid hēahfædere,

wuniaþ on wuldre, ond ic wēne_mē

daga gehwylce hwænne mē dryhtnes rōd,

þe ic hēr on eorðan ær scēawode,

on þysson lænan līfe gefetige

ond mē þonne gebringe þær is blis mycel,

drēam on heofonum, þær is dryhtnes folc

geseted tō symle, þær is singāl blis,

ond mē þonne āsette þær ic syððan mōt

wunian on wuldre, well mid þām hālgum

drēames brūcan. Sī mē dryhten frēond,

se ðe hēr on eorðan ær þrōwode

on þām gealgtrēowe for guman synnum.

Hē ūs onlysde ond ūs līf forgeaf,

heofonlicne hām. Hiht wæs genīwad

mid blēdum ond mid blisse þām þe þær bryne þolodan.

Se sunu wæs sigorfæst on þām siðfate,

mihtig ond spēdig, þā hē mid manigeo cōm,

gāsta weorode, on godes rīce,

anwealda ælmihtig, englum tō blisse

ond eallum ðām hālgum þām þe on heofonum ær

wunedon on wuldre, þā heora wealdend cwōm,

ælmihtig god, þær his ēðel wæs.

Wonder if many American "Christians" (yourself included) knew of the above.

Best,

Indian Idiot (H.W.)

P.S. Well said Bill.

I was referring primarily to my previous posting of the Dream Of The Rood, in its old English script, one of the finest devotional poems written in honour of Jesus Christ, as a contrast to the post from Bill Hays and as a parapet from whence contemporary American Christian worship and celebration of the festivities can be surveyed and wept upon.

Curiously and sadly, the poem did not make it on to the thread, for a better present could not be made to a lover of language, in my humble opinion of course.

A translation of the poem can be easily happened upon by searching for it on the web.

Indian Idiot (H.W.)

Ebert: It's up, and here is an English translation:

http://j.mp/8EjMjw

What a vision it invokes. How did you get those characters out of a keyboard?

You're a natural scholar, H.W., moreover, a natural scholar with Heart, capital "H." As you know, I expect you'll strike important chords in the hearts of many, in all eventualities.

For a little giftie: The Christian use of the word "Hell" was taken from the Druids, where it meant "the cold place." Lazy and cowardly warriors were sent there. Served them right, too.

Roger said: “What a vision it invokes. How did you get those characters out of a keyboard?”

Thank you for putting it up Roger. The first time I came across it, at the beginning of this millennium, I was startled from my natural Argus-eyed leeriness of religion, which delighted at the torpor reason was induced into, at being superseded by the mystical splendour mirrored in the devotion of this noble poet, who remains unknown and whenever it dwells upon these verses, reason chafes at their beauty, wanting god to exist, knowing that this cannot be so (probably).

I have even been fortunate enough to bear witness to a most moving performance of it, in a shire not far from the land where it was supposedly composed. I didn't get the characters out of the keyboard, it was e-mailed me by a scholarly friend who wrote a thesis on the convergence of paganism and Christianity many moons ago and I simply copied it from said e-mail onto your website, which fortuitously supports old English.

To the twenty first century –

I watched “Inglourious Basterds” earlier today and am happy to report that it exceeded my expectations, which were already quite high. Tarantino's a cheeky bugger for saying it at the end, but he is right, this is his masterpiece and of the big studio films to come out this year, it is clearly one of the best and the closest he has gotten to making a perfect film yet.

I have to admit that I was won over from the opening shot of LaPadite taking his axe to a stump, because nothing in this film is unintentional and the opening shot is one of the most important statements Tarantino makes about his film.

I have in the past, apologised for being a Tarantino fan, but this is no longer required. I have often thought this but never said it – Tarantino is, in more ways than I would care to describe, the anti-Kubrick, instead, I'll leave you with the following thought – both “Dr. Strangelove..” and “Inglourious Basterds” are explicitly pornographic, the difference is, while the former is apocalyptic porn, the latter is triumphalist, both rely heavily on suspense and humour, the former is unintentionally prophetic and the latter is intentionally revisionist, both to astoundingly good effect.

Roger, if you can in three attempts guess what in my humble opinion was the best film of the decade, I will give you commentary on “There Will Be Blood” which normally anyone else would do only for a fee. Don't know if you received my e-mail on “There Will Be Blood” I sent it to your answerman e-mail address when I first started commenting here, because if you did, I'm guessing you thought it was a load of rubbish, for having not replied to it, which sort of makes the whole proposition silly and self-inflating, but, I suppose you can still have some fun trying to guess which film I thought was the best of the decade..

Hint – it is not “There Will Be Blood” (which is one of the best films I have ever watched). It is in English and I have not mentioned it on any thread thus far.

Tom, I am not deserving, but thanks awfully muchly for your most gracious praise. Clever folk were the druids, thanks for that. As far as cowardice goes, that is no excuse for inaction, laziness on the oth .. .. :)

ever the inglorious,

Indian Idiot (H.W.)

[URL="http://www.unbanxbox360.com"]Unban Your Xbox 360[/URL]

On the official website of Richard Dawkins (dot-net)

Give someone the gift of 26 uncut interviews from ‘The Genius of Charles Darwin’, British Broadcasting Awards’ Best Documentary Series of 2008.

Richard Dawkins’ 2008 hit television series ‘The Genius of Charles Darwin’ explored Darwin’s theory of natural selection and some common misconceptions associated with it today. The interviewees filmed for this documentary included biologists, philosophers, clergyman, business analysts, teachers, Evolutionary Psychologists and more.

This 3-DVD collection brings you over 18 hours of these fascinating uncut interviews and discussions.

Disc 1: Daniel Dennett, Steven Pinker, Craig Venter, Randy Nesse, Peter Singer, Sean Casey, Wendy Wright

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Feature length: 1,103 min
NTSC
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Roger said: "The immune system thrives from sunlight, which I presume you get out enough to absorb? And you eat fruits and veggies? Now take an aspirin and go to bed."

Sorry Rog, I completely forgot about replying to that. I do get plenty of sun, fruits and veggies, it is just the outside which does not sit well with me that much. Thank you for the advice.

Indian Idiot (H.W.)

P.S. Sorry for giving you grief on "Avatar" too (I still respectfully disagree).

(1) Hwæt, ic swefna cyst secgan wylle,
(2) hwæt mē gemætte to midre nihte,
(3) syðþan reordberend reste wunedon.
(4) þūhte mē þæt ic gesāwe syllicre trēow

Translation:
(1) Listen! The choicest of visions I wish to tell,
(2) which came as a dream in middle-night,
(3) after voice-bearers lay at rest.
(4) It seemed that I saw a most wondrous tree

Reply to: Dream Of The Rood... devotional poems written in honour of Jesus Christ, as a contrast to the post from Bill Hays and as a parapet from whence contemporary American Christian worship and celebration of the festivities can be surveyed and wept upon.

I agree with the "wept upon" part.

Earlier, I said that the resurrection appearances in the Gospels were added after every legitimate eyewitness had died, and were nothing more than

DREAMS

written down. It goes back to ghost stories. People still have intense memories after a loved one passes on.

If you read the first sentences of the translation, the author tells you that he's writing down a vision that came to him in a dream.

And that's what Christianity is. A written account of somebody's dream-world, their imagination, often based on earlier dream-worlds called "prophecy."

Dreams are not credible. But they often form the basis of religious belief. That was my point. Thanks for proving more evidence from 700 AD.

Ladies and Gents, let's have a big round of applause for Bill Hays! C'mon! He's been doing a great job of playing straight-man for me, and I think he deserves a raise.

Bill spent the Christmas Holidays working part-time at Macy's, if just a short while. Management didn't approve of his continually yanking off his fake beard and hat and surprising little boys and girls with his doubts about Santa Claus.

Handing their parents a free DVD of Richard Dawkins haranguing people about the dead-eyed wonders of politically correct science didn't help, they still fired him. But this gives Bill a chance to hang around in Times Square on New Years' Eve collecting signatures for a petition to change the years to star-dates; after all, marking time according to the imaginary birth of some imaginary hominid could be damaging to the imagination.

I hope everybody else got what they wanted for Christmas. Roger, there was only one '57 customized Studebaker Golden Hawk left down at the car sales place, I'm sorry to say. You're right, it's overpowered. As you're not getting any younger, I thought it wiser that steadier, more jejeune hands risk blowing it out to the tune of 148 m.p.h. And I'm sure there are fewer cops on Cerrillos road than there would be in your neighborhood. I hope you were delighted with the shaving kit (it includes a mustache trimmer!). I think Catt may have stuck in a tie with a palm tree on it, too.

Robert Burns: Oh wad some power the giftie gie us To see oursel's as others see us! It wad frae monie a blunder free us, And foolish notion.

Except . . . except . . . when people tell us how they see us, we so often ignore it.

Out of my "need to be cool and uppity," here is a real 2010 New Year gift to all who read this: I confer upon you the right to reproduce one copy, in any proportional dimension you wish and can manage, of the image you will find by clicking the URL linked through my user name of this message. (I suggest card stock and a color laser printer.) Should we ever meet, I'll cheerfully sign your copy.

White elephant--or priceless treasure? You decide!

Then of course there is always the West Coast Accordion Babes Calendar.
Ms. August, Hubba Hubba!

Too late for Christmas (when has that ever stopped us?) this could be the ideal computer monitor....

Visio has a new TV that adds more pixels to the side of a standard 1920 by 1080 matrix.

Vizio Cinema Wide HDTV

Tired of black bars marring your cinemascope film viewing experience?

Packing 2560 x 1080 pixels into a 58-inch screen,

the Cinema Wide offers 120 Hz operation, LED backlighting with smart dimming, built-in 802.11n wireless networking, a Bluetooth universal remote with sliding QWERTY keyboard, and built-in wireless HDMI.

An additional area 640 pixels wide by 1080 horizontally? Sounds like a three-panel centerfold.

As a matter of fact, in the 19th C. gentlemen of London and everywhere else were merry, when they felt merry. They'd hold each other arm in arm and skip gaily down the street! They'd regale one the other with bon mots and ripostes! They'd play merry jokes on each the other and sometimes upon the whole town!
adidas outlet And indeed, sirs and gentlewomen, they looked upon their moments of merriment with great fondness! Some, so fondly regarded that they wrote them down, and we are even today forced to read of these merriments in English class for grading!

Even in Boswell's London Journal -- that's the 18th C. -- we see accountings of sheer merriment. Young Boswell was 22 when he met 60 year old Doctor Samuel Johnson, a more than portly man, whose height and girth alike intimidated most who encountered him. One day on a walk together, Johnson decided merrily to run ahead of young, spry Boswell.

This king-sized tub of literary lard, whose veins stuck out of his head while he eat (not "ate") a-sweating and a-gobbling, and when not doing that, a-shone with an eruditic dignity that casts a great shadow to this day, yet in the mood for a spontaneous trot on those old beknickered stubs of his! The venerable Samuel Johnson, a Favorite of the King, running through an orchard in sheer elan! I submit to you a merry man of the past!

...not for mere exercise, the bane of Modern Science and Society, but for spontaneous fun! Old Johnson was in a merry mood at the moment and gave vent to it. People used to do that.

People no longer do that. We run to "save our lives" (like Jim Fixx, who dropped dead jogging; he would have lived minutes fewer if not for the exercise!); we run to elude the cops, to catch a bus, or in case we need to become a high-paid sports figure; any other reason for running for anyone over age 4 is suspicious.

The word "merry" isn't outdated, we're simply not merry any more. We have become, in comparison, near-morbidly dour. ("Dour" also existed in the 19th C.; for some reason it's not outdated.)

To anlenu: After Jim Fixx's untimely death, on July 19, 1984 if memory serves, radio commentator Paul Harvey suggested that, given that Fixx lived about 15 years longer than his father did, his running had probably extended his life. And Dr. Kenneth Cooper, "the father of Aerobics," makes a strong case in his book RUNNING WITHOUT FEAR for the notion that Fixx's death was a freak accident, since he died on his knees leaning against the side of a hill. Had he gone fully prone, Cooper says, he may well have gotten sufficient blood to his heart to survive his infarction.

Aside from setting the record straight(er), I want to assure you that I and everyone I know who have pursued long-distance running have experienced pure joy through the beta-endorphin "runner's high." Though I don't do it any more, owing to a bum knee (through INactivity, not running!) and a physique rather DrJohnsonesque, I'll never forget that transcendent feeling, running along the Grand Canal bank with moonlight bouncing off the water, of that twelve-mile run that became totally effortless around the nine-mile point, with a stride so glidey it felt like skiing through Champagne Powder. And at the 1984 San Francisco Marathon, exactly one month after Fixx's death, I and the group of runners I was with were serenaded at the 10-mile point by a tuxedoed, tall African-American gentleman who stood on the hood of a car and magnificently played the "Chariots of Fire" theme on his flute. We burst into spontaneous cheering and applause! I'll put that Elevation against Dr Johnson's any time. (See my URL for a then&now, including me crossing the finish line.)

"I'm just sayin'."

I don't know who anlenu is, Gary, but s/he excerpted my post which you've mirthlessly attempted to "debunk," here.

So, old Johnson in his sixties could race as he pleased when in the mood; yet with your bum knee and Johnson-sized girth, you've been out of commission for a long time. While I'm sure the late Paul Harvey and Dr. Cooper could come up with some fine apologia for the joy of a bum knee, I doubt it will ever match the joy of a merry old man who never gave himself one and didn't require a rabble cheering him on just for the elan of running a bit.

So you've lost the "more elevated than thou" competition. Care to compete with his writings, then? You've got a good handicap, as he's been dead for two centuries.

You've reinforced the point of my post. Your reply is most lacking in merriment. Case closed.

Snark, snark.

Who's there?

Tom.

Tom who?

Tom-orrow I'll give you ANOTHER crapload, Just Because, Fat Boy.

To set the record yet straighter: I don't believe Fixx extended his life by mere minutes. I believe it was years. Anlenu (or, as it turns out, Tom Dark; sorry I missed your earlier post; why don't you give anlenu some legitimate crap for plagiarizing you?) was perpetuating the "Jim Fixx Die; Running Bad" myth.

Since my knee surgery in 1999 I've run up to two miles without stopping. What I don't do anymore is Marathon. I would run rings around Johnson, and have more fun doing it. My point was not about Merriment, but about having fun running.

My father died of a massive myocardial infarction on January 5, 1983. He was 49 years old. I'm 55 and counting. I credit my running in the 80s and 90s with my continued verticality.

Tom, you read too sloppily, you take the damnedest things personally, and you post too maliciously. If this be Mirthlessness, so be it.

Please stop with the geedee bullying, Tom. You're better than that.

Fantastic blog. And, tons of great comments. I lover Inglorious Basterds. That was a fantastic movie. I can't say that it was tarantino's best. I still think Reservoir Dogs was the top. But, my local dvd rental kiosk, www.dvdinabox.com normally carries all of them.

Indomie is surely my favorite. Number 1 in my country. Yes, the best instant noodle, most recommended ;) Give it a try. And enjoy it.

i have never even heard of some of these gifts lol. does that mean i live under a gift rock or something? anyway, thanks for the post for deals on gifts for my Christmas list.