Roger, you might want to get one of the HTML wizards to fix your blog. The title value in the HTML for the main blog page and this entry's page is suddenly "Virtual orgy @Hef's pad".

Now granted that sounds like more fun than anything I'm doing today (laundry, dishes, dusting, etc.), but still....

Ebert: I couldn't get online for 40 hours. Now I come back to...this.

It is being remedied.

The least I can do is show you what the link "Orgy @Hefs pad" refers to:

http://j.mp/1rZmbc

It was a special page creao

Minus the ambition, he sort of reminds me of a real life Chance the Gardener. Or perhaps even Forrest Gump. Unbelievable. Sometimes when you just act like you belong there you escape detection. Security spends too much time looking for the folks who stick out or look suspicious. Sounds like Jerry just hides in plain sight.

Certainly he enjoys some degree of pure dumb luck with his escapades, but undoubtedly he has to be a world class bullshit artist.

Roger, that opening sequence from Catch Me If You Can always sends chills up my spine. A complete thrill, and whoever created it is a genius.

By the way, what is your favorite field holler OR Shakespeare quote? And who do you suppose asked that question on stage as part of his act?

"Reporters over the years have hurled himself at his barricades and lost." That sense makes no sentence. I think.

Hi Roger,
I remember you mentioning your friend Anant from South Africa in a previous article. Is he the one who was working on a device that will block out cellphone reception in movie theaters?.
I live in Cape Town and I remember thinking what a great idea that will be to have "cellphoneless" theaters.

Ebert: That's the one.

Nice feeling to be on!

Great piece, once again.

"Yeah, Wolfgang Puck was asking about you last night."

If there is one thing I am sure of, it's that no one will ever say this sentence to me.

Ebert: Jerry Berliant will.

I have seen him, or people doing similar things, before and wondered the same thing: How does he do it? I mean charm and charisma are one thing, but sooner or later someone asks you for a pass or ticket or something. Maybe his passing resemblence to Wayne Newton gets him clearance...

I have to say I could never be angry at someone who told me Clint Eastwood was asking for me. I've been looking for someone to tell me that for a very long time indeed...

You realize that this column will result in about forty spec screenplays floating around Hollywood in about six months? I guess if one gets made, don't invite Jerry to the premier. It's the best way to ensure that he shows up.

Roger, I am exceedingly envious of your run-in with Bob Elliott. About 15 years ago I happened upon a retrospective of Bob and Ray at the Museum of Radio & Television in New York City. Upon listening to a couple of their shows, I was immediately hooked, and have spent the years since tracking down as many recordings as I can get my hands on. I mean, you know... I've accomplished other stuff, too, but still...

I even adopted "Matt Neffer" as my internet handle quite some time ago. I suppose it's a bit of an arcane reference these days, but whenever someone notices, I know I have made a friend.

One of my big regrets is that I've never been able to write Mr. Elliott to express my gratitude for the many hours of enjoyment. I've tried to find some sort of contacting address for an agent or a representative on-line and by phone, but so far no luck. If you ever know of any kind of contact information whatsoever, please pass it along! In the interim, I'll be over here in the dumb waiter.

Write if you get work.

Ebert: How can I write when I'm hanging by my thumbs?

Speaking of the two funniest men in American history:

http://j.mp/4eMF52

Act as if you're supposed to be there and everyone will assume you're supposed to be there.

Great article Roger.

His story reminds me of my own experience in 2000. International Math Olympiad was held in my campus, and I wanted to join in luncheon for food and some intellectual curiosity. I have known campus doctor who also worked in this event, and I tagged along with her as soon as I spotted her at luncheon place. And then I got what I wanted: Food for free and talking with foreign students. Even when the luncheon was over, I could hang around with some of them even though they surely knew who I was. It was far easier thing because there was no security guard or barricade.

P.S.

I watched "2012" on Thursday. I gave it two and half stars out of four just because I gave "Knowing", more clever one, three stars. But I liked its dumb all-in spirit anyway. The screening room was full and I had to sit at the back(but not on seat) to watch, but it was fun time. I have to admit that, after experiecing very lousy four Korean movies in one day at local theater last week, "2012" came to me like super-size soda. Crush, Baby, Crush!

Ebert: You stoodduring it?

Great piece Roger. Is this a case where wondering about him is much more fun than learning the actual truth?

What a great yarn! I love it. I want more character sketches like the one about the man who didn't sleep. I love these entries. I want to write an essay trying to parse out what it special about the intellectuals from the Great Lake States. I would write about you, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Garrison Keillor, and Michael Moore, and Paul Schraeder, Bob Dylan, ect, ect, ect.

Here's a link to info on the 2007 arrest:

http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=88533

"The Pepsi Center employee pointed Berliant out to Denver Police who found him with credentials for several different media outlets and business cards with his name on them representing several different professions ranging from doctor to accountant to journalist."

This is the most fascinating story I've ever read. This would make for a great movie, don't you think? Imagine what the folks behind American Spendor could do with an idea like this.

Thanks for sharing!

Welcome back!

I love your stories like this. Even though it's nominally about Jerry, it's also about what an incredible life that you and Chaz have lived. Such adventure!

I guess Jerry lives by the motto that it's better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission, writ large.

Everyone knew someone in High School who was always showing up everywhere... somehow... seems like this guy made a career out of it.

Quite an interesting story actually, when is the film coming out?

I can't believe I got here so early.

Nice column, Roger. I suppose everyone knows someone like him -- someone who really does rise when he tugs on his boot straps. My uncle -- a long time car dealer -- bore certain similarities.

Incidentally, I like this column a lot better better than the one in praise of Fall. I wrote a long irritated rebuttal to that one and thought better of it. I happy I deleted it.

The Reader's Digest version goes like this: Fall means winter coming, dark and cold, scooping walks, money burning in the furnace, grumble, grumble, small children trapped in a small house, black ice on the commute, grumble, grumble, Christmas gifts we can barely afford, seeing people I don't care to see.

Please write me a piece about Springtime in about a month when I really will need it.

Dave outside Omaha

Ah, Bob & Ray - when I was a kid I wore out those albums and tapes my dad would get me featuring classic bits from their shows. Aunt Penny's Sunlit Kitchen, One Fella's Family, Mr. Trace - Keener Than Most Persons, Mary Backstage - Noble Wife, Fern Ock Veek - Sickly Whale Oil Processor and perhaps the most surreal: Matt Neffer - Boy Spotwelder and his friend Todd.

Haven't you ever thought about just asking him? Hasn't anyone?

Although...I think the answer is clear. He may be a resourceful and likable fella, but he's there because people allow him to be there.

Tough luck here though:
http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=88533

Ebert: Oh, he's been asked. You never really have a long conversation with him. His answers are masterpieces. Analyze this carefully:

"Who invited you? Michael Eisner?"

"He's on the list."

I think Berliant must have known Eliot too, because that seems to describe him almost too perfectly.

My question is: if using "So-and-so was asking about you/told me to say hi/etc." is Jerry's best "in", how does he keep track of who he's never used this on, and who will be immediately annoyed by the untruth? Also, isn't anonymity a con man's best weapon? Apparently everyone knows who this guy is! He must be a hell of a charmer that he gets to stay after people realize he doesn't belong.'

Ebert: I wouldn't describe him as a charmer. Affable, as of course he should be. And remember, he doesn't drink your booze.

I'd like to be the first to point out that this reads like an F Scott Fitzgerald short story. That's all.

Aw Crap Roger, now I will be looking for Waldo...er.. .Jerry on every show/opening I watch/attend.

Fun to read... Thanks.

Mr. Ebert;

I was beginning to miss you.
The Answer Man got me through.
This post has the feeling of a book excerpt.
One can only hope.
"The Great Impostor" is my favorite TC performance.
Cary Grant in his prime would not have been better.
Please keep your cavalcade of characters coming.

OK, so I'm (re-)watching movies from 1959 I want to include in The Book, and for a low-budget SF/horror title it was a toss-up between "The Tingler" and "Attack of the Giant Leeches"--and whaddaya know, here's the latter, riding on Jerry Berliant's coattails. I'm going with the Vincent Price picture--I can't resist "Percepto"--but Jerry (who was asking about you last night) will remain in my heart, like a murmur.

Quote...Roger; "We motored along the coast, following a route known to Scott Fitzgerald's Dick and Nicole Diver, and dined on the shore overlooking the sea. The moon lay fair upon the sea as the rented Mercedes hummed along."

With eyebrow raised, I re-read this about 6 times. Still confused, I experimented by adding extra commas. Eventually I came up with...a route known to Scott Fitzgerald's, Dick and Nicole Diver. Ahhh, the literary notes fall into place and I realise I haven't had my morning coffee yet.

Ebert: The route was well known by Scott Fitzgerald's dick, but that's not the point. The Divers lived along it in Tender is the Night. The rest of course is Matthew Arnold.

See, how it works is, you implant a subtle little evocation of F. Scott, and somebody, having ingested it unaware, will post a comment that the piece reminded them of Fitzgerald. And someone did.

So far, no comparisons to Cormac. Sorely disappointed.

There's nothing like a charming but harmless cad, is there? At least I'm hoping he is in fact harmless and is in it just for the thrill. Fascinating, fascinating stuff. He's like The Watcher on Fringe, or perhaps Where's Waldo? would be a better analogy.

How he finances his life doesn't interest me much. A former high profile attorney with family money? Meh, he has resources. What I think is a more interesting question is, not to wish the man ill in any way, who will one day attend his funeral? Either it will be spectacularly unattended, or a who's who extravaganza on the scale of Michael Jackson's.

At least Jerry shows up and is intentional about what he's doing. I'd rather be in his shoes living life in the moment than sitting on a couch waiting for someone to tell me what to watch, what to read, what to eat, and how to behave.

Fascinating character. It would make an interesting movie w/ Jim Carrey in the lead.

I liked this. I smile as it occurs to me, well, if we, the common folk, have accepted we can never become part of the rich and famous, maybe we can still aspire to be Jerry Berliant.

(Although, you do allow for the possibility that he might be both.)

And Prufrock again. How well that fits among these kinds of thoughts.

I've walked into so many nightclubs that had big bouncers and long lineups by just walking straight up to the door and going in. The key elements: don't look at the lineup, or the bouncer. Look sort of at the door, but like you're looking through it not at it. Keep your neck and back relaxed and straight, with your head raised just above the horizontal. Now walk right in and skip the lineup and the cover charge.

In the unlikely event the bouncer stops you, don't look at him. Don't respond to his questions. Stop, keep looking through that door, and wait. When he stops talking, start walking again. Repeat as necessary.

Grace Wang on November 13, 2009 10:06 AM wrote: Haven't you ever thought about just asking him? Hasn't anyone?

Ah, but a magician never reveals his secrets, and Jerry Berliant, in his own way, is a magician...or a ninja.

Also, at the end of your clip for "The Great Imposter," isn't the host quoting a Bela Lugosi line from the movie Son of the Monster (and luckily, no, I have not seen that film, but the line is quoted in Ed Wood, which may be the best movie ever made about a bad director)?

Ebert: Ricky Jay: "The trick is told when the trick is sold."

Such an interesting character. How revealing is it that he will let you photograph him but not give any straight answer?
I just tried wikipedia'ing him up. No hit. Which makes sense, I guess. What would they write about him? "Jerry Berliant has a knack for finding himself near famous people and cameras, but no one knows how he does it." So few facts. Which makes it all the more fascinating.
I guess the family pharmacy proves that Jerry Berliant is his real name, and not an alias. I can't help but think it takes away a little of the mistery. How sad.

Ebert: Oh, he's been asked. You never really have a long conversation with him. His answers are masterpieces. Analyze this carefully:

"Who invited you? Michael Eisner?"

"He's on the list."

Yes. But are you?

Slippery little thing aren't we.

After all these years though, one would imagine that he's become friends with some of you lots, and may now actually be in possession of a real invitation? Or is that too much to ask of someone who doesn't hold long conversations?

Ebert: Uh, I think he may be unlisted.

I love this, Roger. A question, however: Do you really want to know "how" he does this or is it more fun to suspend disbelief and admire Jerry for this seemingly super-heroish ability?

A friend of mine tells me a story that back in the 1980's his college buddy won an auction of some middling Cleveland Indian player. The manager of the team was the one who gave him the uniform at the auction. The guy told the manager somethig to the effect of "I will see you on the field, Skipper." The manager scoffed at him, of course.

The next season, the guy went to the old Memorial Stadium in Baltimore wearing the uniform under sweatclothes. He arrived early and managed to walk down to the field and took off the sweatclothes revealing the uniform. He jumped out on the field with his glove, and proceeded to shag fly balls in the outfield during batting practice. Eventually, he made his way into the dugout and sidled up to the manager. The manager recognized him, laughed, and told him he could stay down there until the game started and would have to go. There is no visual proof of this (predates the digital age), and apparently security was more than lax. But I admire the tamarity of people who can just do this. I think I was raised with too great a sense of truth and guilt ever to get away with any of this.

Ebert: I think I'm right in the entry: He does it because...well, he just does it. And how he does it is by doing it.

Roger, I'm glad he never explains how he does it, and no one has ever discovered. The mystery is what makes it fascinating.

And people say there's no magic in the world...

This is definitely a case when knowing the truth would simply ruin the fun. He's like a magician. You know he's performing a trick. You know he's palming something or sliding something up his sleeve. You just know it, but you can't quite figure it out. To hell with figuring it out. Just sit back and enjoy the show.

You can get in anywhere as long as you look the part. I used to play in an orchestra and could get backstage for any concert as long as I had my fiddle with me. I would wonder through the back door and sit down on a stool for the show. I am sure if you know the tricks and act like part of the scenery, like being a bartender in the greenroom, no one will notice or mind that you aren't supposed to be there. I would love to know how he got into the hotel or finances all of his appearances.

Wonderful column, Roger, but one of the footnotes sparked an interest in me. I became very interested in the events of the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago (and attending riots) after seeing the wonderful animated doc Chicago 10... Do you think you might write a column talking about your own experiences during that time?

Ebert: Now that you mention it, yes.

Reminds me of this commercial:

"His reputation is expanding faster than the universe; he once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels; he lives vicariously through himself; he is, the most interesting man in the world."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2SSZA0CjdQ

I've known people like him, if people like him can be known.

Can we all pitch in a buck or so each and hire a private eye to follow him??

Just to let you know that your link to "The Great Impostor" isn't working. I'll try again Monday.

Interesting thing about that movie, though: Assuming Robert Crichton's book was at all accurate, the movie stuck closer to the facts about Fred Demara than most biopics do.

Except of course, for the casting.

If you were making it today, and wanted someone who looked like the real Demara, the closest choice would be Wayne Knight (Newman from Seinfeld).

Jerry would be a lot easier, being handsome and all.

Jerry Berliant! What a hoot. Great cities produce great personalities. God, I love Chicago. City of Broad Shoulders and Great Characters.

My ex-wife used to say Ronnie Woo-Woo drove her nuts. I said, yeah, well, if you stand next to him long enough, sure. So don't do that.

Thanks again, Roger. You're beautiful.

Quote...Roger;See, how it works is, you implant a subtle little evocation of...

Ahh Roger, these literary references are too deep for me. I'm no T.S. Elliot, but a simple man. I wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

ebert: So far, no comparisons to Cormac.

as for comparisons to cormac, in 40 years of reading, no book has affected me more than the road. i'm afraid to see the movie because i don't want that book-to-movie let down.

Mr. Ebert, have you considered that Berliant might be an agent? (and no I don't mean for the FBI or something along those lines) ;)

Many if not most contract agents have law backgrounds and given your brief description of what he does it seems like he could be an agent.

Sam E.

I'm going to have to take a break and finish chuckling enviously about you getting to meet Bob Elliot before I get to this strange Jerry Berliant character.

Yours,
WWLCW

The Hotel Ritz in Paris was famous long before Princess Diana made it her last stop before dying; its rooms and decor just as noteworthy as any of the names who've stayed there. And it was a Flemish tapestry on the wall along the staircase in the foyer as seen in an issue of Architectural Digest, that caught my imagination.

Beautiful Hotels have always felt like dreams you could walk through and I was determined to do just that and see it for myself moreover, in May 1994 when I found myself in Paris for the first time.

I didn't succeed. I was blocked by staff who "politely dissuaded me" from entering the hotel; the French may love Art but not those who look like they make it. I was disappointed, yes, but I also learned a valuable lesson and for watching who was allowed in, and why.

And thus armed with the secret now of how to do it, in the years thereafter I gained entrance to some truly beautiful hotels and spaces...

Hotel Ritz, London
St. James hotel, London
Hotel Ritz, New York
Carlton Hotel, New York
Waldorf, New York
Hotel Ritz, Paris
Hôtel de Crillon Paris
Le Meurice Hotel, Paris
Hotel Regina, Paris
The Paris Opera House - rooms off limits to tourists; smile
Hotel Gritti Palace, Venice
Hotel Danieli, Venice

And the secret?

Walk in like you own the place. :)

It's not how you look - rock stars changed that as a prerequisite - so much as how you carry yourself. For that's what I noticed about the people entering the Hotel Ritz in Paris - how they carried themselves.

It's like playing a poor hand in poker; you bluff! And if the "game" of doing that is why you do it, I can see why some might find it exciting albeit in a pathologically needy sort of way. People like your mysterious Jerry Berliant.

I love the Art and old world craftsmanship to be found in those places mentioned. And that's always been my motivation; not because I give a crap about celebrity. But what if you do? What if you measure your self-worth with a stick called fame? And you gatecrash parties and events because you can't stand being excluded from them? It makes you feel "lesser than".

Is there anything prized or held so highly as a gathering of famous faces? Isn't being on the receiving end of fame how >i>you know you're "special"? For it would seem so, based on what people tend to talk about - given to be loved by family and friends alone, doesn't get your name in a newspaper, eh? Ever wonder why?

Because without envy, there is no fame.

I didn't know about Jerry and now that I do and because I'm using that slider thingy and peeling back the layers, I confess he strikes me as a rather sad character and for valuing something ultimately self-defeating.

For while Berliant's exploits may be currently amusing, the boldness of a fool usually is - until time takes its toll and people stop laughing "with" them for seeing them now as a tired joke. Even if his behavior has always been in pursuit of one day selling his story and thus acquiring fame and fortune for himself that way, it still strikes me as a byproduct of low self-esteem willing to suffer any humiliation and in a desperate bid to obtain something of value - but a value established for him by the envy of others.

I remember standing at the end of Giardini Ex-Reali (an oceanside boardwalk so named after the small oasis of trees and gardens it flanks) and specifically, next to the little white bridge beyond which lay "Harry's Bar" in Venice Italy. It was my last night and twilight wasn't far away and I was wandering a little, before heading over to the Gran Caffe Chioggia in the Piazetta around the corner.

A fool stood on the bridge: a man, and with a companion who watched him with a weary gaze. To this day, I don't know if he was just drunk or actually mildly mentally handicapped, his behavior so odd. He stood there, seemingly otherwise preoccupied yet any time anyone crossed the bridge, he would suddenly spin around and pounce and pretend to be attacking them - only to then just as suddenly stop - and laugh loudly at their startled faces! A group of young Venetian men standing on the other side and just within my view, were egging him on with gleeful encouragement. He would then call to his friend repeatedly, and ask him "what time is it?"

I'll never forget that scene. It was the only time I disliked Venetians.

Point is, people were laughing "at him" not with him and he didn't know it, and I saw that.

And why Jerry Berliant solicits my empathy as opposed to amusement.

But then, I'm assuming a great deal about him. Maybe he's just really clever and I can't see it?

Hey, Lowbrow, the link works fine now.

In honor of "The Great Imposter," not to mention Jerry, my URL points to another person's blog, though I do make repeated appearances as "The Loyal Opposition."

And you all know what Father Kurt said: "We are who we pretend to be, so we must be very careful who we pretend to be."

Close with another KV quote--this ending his intro to WRITE IF YOU GET WORK: THE BEST OF BOB AND RAY:

" . . . Man is simply too hilariously stupid to survive.

"And this I believe.

"Cheers."

I like the story about Jerry, but if he turns out to be the guy that shouts, "it's in the hole!" every time Tiger Woods hits the ball - well, I don't suppose I'll really do anything, but really not like him very much.

Why Roger Ebert is a snob ...

Ebert is now a very wealthy man. Remember that, people. It skews his viewpoint. Don't believe me? Here is his response to a question about the "rent it" vs. "see it" category on the new version of his old TV show:

I've been against "rent it" from the first time I was exposed to the concept. It makes no sense. Either a film is good enough to see, or not good enough to see. Here's my theory about the invention of this ersatz category: It's an attempt to pander to those who would rather die than rent a great film like, say, Hitchcock's "North by Northwest" rather than a "rent it"-style dim bulb like "Couples Retreat." I think some editors, not mine, are terrified that readers might get the idea a critic is stuck up. If you'd rather rent "Couples Retreat" than the new restored "North by Northwest," "Bonnie and Clyde" or "Cool Hand Luke," that's what I am, stuck up, and happy to be.

Roger, obviously, is "stuck up." His worldview cannot even comprehend another meaning to "rent it" vs. "see it." It no longer occurs to him, and others like him, that to "see it" requires a significant investment of time, energy, and money. If I am looking forward to a film, and really, really want to see it, I'll cough up the money, deal with the hassles, etc., and go see it. If I'm not sure about the flick, I'll probably stay home, and rent it later. It has absolutely nothing to do with the actual quality of the film.
But this kind of thing is inconceivable to Ebert, the elite critic, because he never has to make that choice. Everything is "see it" to him, because he doesn't have to expend any money.
Roger ... fuck you ... you are totally out of touch.

Ebert: Dear dogslurp. You went to the trouble of quoting my words but didn't go to the trouble of reading them.

Cost has nothing to do with it.

Obviously, I'm not saying buy an expensive ticket but don't rent a cheap DVD.

I'm saying rent a GOOD movie and not a BAD one.

You are the one going to the expense. You're spending the hours of your life. Invenst them well.

Last night I was tending the door at a local dance festival. No, Jerry Berliant didn't show up, but we did have a gate crasher.

In this case, it was a woman whose first story was someone downstairs had invited everyone up to see a performance. Her next story, when pressed, was that she just wanted to see and wouldn't be dancing and that she knew so many people in the room, but as she raised her voice I stood my ground. She attempted to loom over me, but as a large woman, she would not win any sympathy by bullying someone as petite as myself.

This event was paid admittance only and was in a hotel far from any related event, so obviously the woman had come there intentionally.

She then proceeded to talk to some of the people who were leaving. Did she really know those people? Well, know is a relative term and in polite company, most people are being too polite to correct someone making harmless small talk.

Is it cheapness--getting something for nothing? The thrill of getting in? Or is it something more complicated and perhaps a bit sad? In the case of Berliant, I think if one has to get fake IDs and amass numerous parking tickets, it is something more than cheapness or a cheap thrill, something deeply psychological which would make his compulsion fascinating.

I have seen both "The Imposter" with Tony Curtis and "Catch Me If You Can," and enjoyed both. Seeing the opening sequence for "Catch Me If You Can" again, gave me a new appreciation for the animation.

There is something about the harmless con, done by a charming con artist that appeals to my mind at the movies and perhaps as an observer, but standing at the door as a volunteer providing minimal security...definitely not so funny.

Ebert: I think I'm right in the entry: He does it because...well, he just does it. And how he does it is by doing it.

I think so. How do we swim? By jumping.
"Be bold, be bold and everywhere be bold"...Goethe

Hi Roger,

Not sure where the right place is to post it, but I just wanted to make sure that you had a chance to see this:

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/13453-sande

A fellow who calls himself "The Nostalgia Critic" has put together a little retrospective of your television career. The video quality is (self-admittedly) not fantastic, but it's a nice sentiment.

Ebert: I am so grateful for that. The best and funniest commentary I've ever seen on our adventures. Must have taken days and days to script, edit and perform.

I've tweeted it, and I'm writing to thank him. Thank youfor telling me.

Ebert: You stood during it?

I did buy the ticket, but my seat was not at good spot. There was enough space between back wall and the last row of seats in the middle, and there was ledge at the wall. I sat on it instead of my seat and could watch the movie without serious disadvantage.

Ebert: Standing room only, like the opera?

dogslut,

throwing in a curse distracts from, instead of emphasizes, your point.

Bizarre, but strangely inspirational. I doubt I would have the nerves to do that. It reminds me of something I read once about fine art. A successful artist (I can't remember who) was asked "How do you get people to spend millions of dollars on your work?" and he replied "By asking for it."

In Los Angeles, there is another semi-legendary character like Jerry who is known as Douglas Dunning. He had a whiff of fame in the '80's as "Sir Miles Headlock," a Max-Headroom style character on the "GLOW: GORGEOUS LADIES OF WRESTLING" program, but mostly he's known for somehow making his way into hundreds of screenings, premieres, afterparties, and other events. He's one of those characters who will speak of knowing famous people, and just when you're ready to dismiss him, one will pass by and recognize him, or he'll promise you a name for your event and by cracky they will show up!

All these types remind me of one of my favorite jokes. A bar patron has spent countless nights hearing another pub regular (let's call him Jerry) recounting exotic tales of adventures with celebrities, and decides to call him out on it. He notices that Bruce Springsteen is playing a concert the following night, and challenges Jerry's claim to know him. Jerry agrees to go to the show with him, the man pays a scalper for stage pit tickets, and sure enough, midway through the performance, Bruce looks down, and exclaims, "Awright! Now it's a party, my ol' pal Jerry is here!" and gives him a high five. The man is shocked, but is now more determined to beat Jerry.

A few nights later at the bar, the man notices that the President will be passing through town to give a speech, and he challenges Jerry to prove that he knows him. Jerry agrees to go to the event the next day, and after working they work themselves into a reception line, yet again, as the the President is shaking hands, he pauses and puts a little extra grip in his handshake, saying, "Jerry! Glad you could be here today! Ladies and gentlemen, meet a fine American, right here!" By now, the man is desperate to find some sort of weak link to sink Jerry.

A week later, the man comes into the bar and tells Jerry he just won the lotto, and he's bought two tickets to Rome for them both. He wants to bet him that he doesn't know the Pope. Again, Jerry agrees to the bet, and they fly to Italy. When they arrive at the Vatican, Jerry tells the man that due to security, he'll have to go into the Pope's offices alone; he'll introduce them later. The man, thinking that he's finally nailed him and that Jerry is trying to save face, agrees to wait outside for him. About ten minutes pass, and incredibly enough, the Pope emerges onto his balcony to greet the faithful, and Jerry has accompanied him outside. At this point, the man faints. Jerry notices his fallen friend, and rushes down to the sidewalk to check on his condition.

Jerry apologizes to the man for making too large of an entrance to win the bet. In turn, the man replies, "No, that wasn't it. It was when you two came onto the balcony, there was this tourist standing next to me who said, 'Hey, who's that fancy dressed guy up there standing next to Jerry!'"

Ebert: I like it, I like it.
At last, an entry where this story is on topic.

Hi,

Thank you for your responses over at the Newman article. I really appreciate your advice. This article is magnificent. Very well written perspective piece on Jerry Berliant. WOW, what a character, one of a kind and I'd love to read more about him. The unusual are most of the time the most interesting of characters and I would love to read a book or watch a movie about his adventures :)He's an original alright! I listened to the "Catch Me If You Can" score while reading the article :)

Mr. Ebert, I know of your Great Movies essays and think they've deepened my appreciation to a lot of those movies but I've always wondered whether you have a Greatest list stashed somewhere in your house that you're waiting to release. And by Greatest I mean more of a list rather than essays. Kind of like "Greatest SciFi..Greatest Female Performance..Greatest, etc." that would be awesome :)

Ebert: Readers: Introducing Wael Khairy, one of Egypt's leading English-language film critics.

Wael, I have a such a deep-seated resistance to making lists that even my annual Best Ten list leads to a spell of feeling poorly.

He is like the Belmondo character in Breathless.

Dunno. Studied your essay, studied this guy's pic. "Separately, you don't mean shit" re: you and Gene somehow operative in this guy Jerry's psyche... don't know how. Aside from the fact that it's another top quality essay.

Ever since I looked at that pic in the Sociology 101 textbook of a girl who appeared to be screaming in terror, but was screaming for the Beatles, I've known better than to make hasty judgments about photographed faces. In the pic of Jerry you chose, his eyes seem emptied out, his jaw-dropped expression seems hollow... like the soul inhabiting this body doesn't know who he is at this moment. He is oogling at the Beatles and has forgotten himself.

Well hey, Marie, you're the resident artist: what about this guy's expression? What would you stress, in making a painting of it?

Yeah, I guess you're right. I know how awful it feels to choose. I mean whenever I watch a great movie I consider it over another on my favorite list and the order constantly changes even though the movies on my list remain the same. I kind of felt you hate lists last year you even had a Top 20 instead of Top 10 and in no order if I remember correctly :) Anyway, thanks for the introduction. I find your stories very interesting here...you have a series of adventures. I look forward to your next blog entry :)

Ebert: If you have a blog, you can link it to one of your comments. People here are snoopy.

Roger

Jerry is invulnerable to insult. Spitballs against a battleship to tell him he doesn't belong at your party, as sportswriters have shouted for thirty years now. Our favorite rumor had him an IRS bounty hunter, reporting back on the rich and famous who travel for fees they never report.

Ebert: Yet another eye-witness.

Art Spander also passed along the IRS rumor, and that's what Siskel believed. But you're the first with a plausible reason why the IRS could use him.

Ebert: If you have a blog, you can link it to one of your comments. People here are snoopy.

Yes, indeed we are, and I would gladly snoop on Wael Khairy's blog, should he have one.

Also, wasn't there a gate crasher that actually made it into the White Hose during the Clinton years, freaking out secret service in the process (there's actually a picture of him standing near Clinton)?

This guy gets into the Super Bowl press room and parties; been doing it for years. Johnny Bench told me once he spies for the IRS.

Ebert: I love it when someone writes in confirming the fact of some of the colorful people I've written about. I did an entry on Billy (Silver Dollar) Baxter, and Silver Dollar himself, and friends, wrote in.

Johnny Bench knew who he was? The legend grows.

I see on your blog you're a friend of Lester Munson's. That means you must know his good friend Bill Nack. Did you ever see this?

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2008/12/perform_a_concert_in_words.html

Readers; Art is the famous San Francisco sports writer and broadcaster.

@ Tom Dark wrote - "Well hey, Marie, you're the resident artist: what about this guy's expression? What would you stress, in making a painting of it?"

The most revealing shot is Jerry Berliant at Cannes 2003. The minute I saw it, I immediately thought of Adam West and his never-say-die approach to show business.

Adam West of course, is famous for playing Batman in the classic 60's TV show. But I wonder how many know the story of his career after being typed-cast, and what he was willing to do to stay in the industry? Like being shot out of a cannon once (in a circus) while dressed as Batman.

Yup.

And Jerry's got that look. The way some look in Vegas playing cards or at the end of a bar when they're with everyone - yet no one, or William H. Macy as Donnie Smith in "Magnolia".

"I could have been a contender" - remember when Brando delivers that line, in on the Waterfront? Imagine if instead he'd said "I can be a contender, I just need a break, I'm not out for the count yet, you'll see.."

So there's that.

But there's also the mystery, eh? And I've got a completely different opinion about that! That has nothing to do with a person now, and more to do with "how" they're doing something. Which means sniffing around and finding clues and stuff; grin.

And if I find anything, I'll let you guys know. :)

Ebert: You go deeper and deeper. In studying that O'Rourke's photo, you bored through to the median strip on North.Av.

I was there opening day of Disney-MGM. I never knew you were among us, Roger, but then I was trying all day to get a glimpse of Bob Hope. Sorry I missed you then. We later did an interview in one of the bungalows of Disney-MGM before your Oscar show with Gene. Fun times! Great piece as always! Cheers!

Ebert: Disney was more cheery when Michael was running it.

The studio rule was, everybody's on a first-name basis.

"Ready when you are, Cecil."

I'd say that we're more Woodstock than snoopy.

I used to have a blog but I closed it down for reconstruction. I will most definitely bring it up and working again within the coming days. Thank you Greg Salvatore for your interest in my blog that's very reassuring. I will link my blogs from now on, thanks for the tip Mr. Ebert :)

Ebert: Standing room only, like the opera?

Today at campus, they cut off electricity line temporarily for inspection and repair(now electricity is back). There was nothing I could do at my place, so I went to movie theater for watching "2012" again in more comfortable situation than before(I got good seat this time). And I took several photos in screening room for showing the spot I unsuccessfully tried to explain to you. On Thursday, I was right behind J7. It is not like opera standing room and that spot is not for sale. If you do not like the seat you bought, you can just sit there. By the way, in case of today, I was at J10.

http://kaist455.egloos.com/photo/50374

The temperature is 38 degrees Fahrenheit now. Autumn scenery is fading.

http://kaist455.egloos.com/photo/50373

@Marie Haws

Thanks for reminding me "Outsourced". I watched it on Friday and it was charming. I introduced it to others through my blog.

@Roger Ebert

Sorry for off-topic comment

Roger---
I have seen this strange little man at so many horse races, always by himself, perhaps chatting with others but always alone, that he is as much a part of the landscape as the bugler calling the horses to the post, or the clerk of scales weighing the jockeys in and out, or the little bay gelding with the black mane and furtive eyes who escorts the horses to the starting gate, always looking suspiciously over his shoulder. Jerry Berliant is forever reaching out his hand to say hello. I just got back from the Breeders' Cup at Santa Anita. I was walking through the tunnel to the paddock for the big race, the $5 million Classic, the crowds swarming all around me, pushing and shoving, when all at once the crowd parts, and...there he is, friend of all mankind, companion of the Cosmos, the world's guest, Jerry Berliant!

He was reaching out his hand. "How ya doin'? he asked. "Good to see ya! Take care!" And then he disappeared, as always, like Claude Rains dressed in bandages, slipping off to some place else.

America's greeter. Heaven's host. Heaven's host? But of course. Some day, to be sure, we'll all approach those pearly gates with with considerable trepidation, only to look up as the crowd parts and see...Jerry!

"Like a drink?" he'll say. "Guess who's been askin' for you."

Bill

Ebert: Well, he could introduce us around.

Bill, you've suddenly made something click into place for me.

Let me get this straight. Jerry Berliant is known by name, appearance and reputation to you and two other professional sportswriters who have commented here, and therefore probably to countless others. When you were Senior Writer at Sports Illustrated, you wrote about boxing as well as the ponies. Ali probably does know who he is. For that matter, you are the biographer of Secretariat. The great horse undoubtedly knew him by face, if not name and reputation.

He is known to Mayor Daley and therefore probably to President Obama, Senator Durbin and many other politicians.

To Michael Jordan, Johnny Bench, the Chicago Cubs and White Sox and therefore to countless other athletes.

To Virginia Madsen, her director mother Elaine, Joe Mantega, Werner Herzog, Tony Danza, Haskell Wexler and Scott and Heavenly Wilson (I know because to make sure I told them at my Hollywood Star ceremony). To David Mamet and his wife Rebecca Pidgeon, I happen to know. He sometimes writes about people not a million miles different from Jerry. Therefore also probably to Ricky Jay. Let's face it: How could they not?

To the late Jack Brickhouse and the late Harry Carey, and therefore to many other sportscasters. To Bill Zwecker, Richard Roeper, Neil Steinberg, Michael Sneed and probably every other columnist on the Chicago Sun-Times, Chicago Tribune, Daily Herald, and (I know for a fact) every film critic in Chicago. To Michael Eisner and therefore probably Jeffrey Katzenberg.

I could continue.

What we may be dealing with here is The Most Famous Unknown Man in the World. I don't care what Chaz says to me. I'm inviting Jerry to Ebertfest 2010. It won't be an A-list festival without him.

But he has to pay his own way, and I'm not putting him up. The free lunch in the Green Room, what can I do? Let him tend bar. Only joking. We don't have a bar.

If you invite him and he shows up, that almost spoils the cachet, doesn't it? The grace and beauty of Jerry Berliant is that he is quite at home where he isn't invited.

Why are you so unflappable? It makes me think that unflappability is a prerequisite for great movie critics and great writing. Or maybe my question should be, why does the thought of this man fill me with nausea, but only fills you with curiosity? Yes, I begrudgingly admit I am a little curious as to how he does it; but my major feeling is that of resentment, for people who say to themselves, "The Rules Do Not Apply To Me." I wish you would NOT invite him to Ebertfest, just to see if he gets in anyway. OTOH, your invitation does sort of thwart him and his methodology... hmmm.

Ebert: You read my mind.

Marie, you go girl! But Jerry's not looking for a role in a movie, or is he?

I've been trying to imagine myself in Jerry's shoes. Bob Elliot aside, for just a touch of whose robe would be sufficient for a Paraclete infusion of Holy Laughter, I tend to leave people alone here in reality; was the same when among pop rock'n'rollers.

In 1992 or so ago I got a phone call from some Hollywood TV production company looking for new meat for their new grinder. They'd gotten my number from a friend who'd been dead for 7 years by then. Kind of an interesting idea, "what would you say if you got to meet your favorite movie star?"

I thought. Okay, I'd like to meet Goldie Hawn (please god nobody tell her she isn't my favorite movie star; highly gifted, I much hasten to add). Why, they said. Because she gave a drummer friend of mine a compliment that he took to his grave, I said. He'd played a gig at her birthday party back in 1984, I said. I'd had a dream about her, I said. I'd like to tell her that. Uh huh, said the interviewer, thenkyew, we'll call. (They never did, and the show never happened... I think it didn't. I hardly watched TV any more. Mostly just Ebert and The Simpsons by then.)

The truth was, I hadn't felt like playing Goldie Hawn's birthday party, despite starred celebrities probably lining the swimming pool or doing National Enquirer things in the closets; I took the night off and played with my toddler son and wrote in my journal.

Gary came away shining from a big hug and kiss from Goldie, who'd told him he was the best drummer she'd ever heard. I'd often thought the same about him myself. The band he was with pretty much stank; I suspected Goldie also noticed that and singled him out. So that's what I'd ever have to tell Goldie Hawn. I'd also have to tell her Gary had committed suicide.

Wasn't she married to Kurt Russell then? What would I have told him -- "Goldie really loves you"? Kurt wound up in one of my two all time favorite horror flicks, "The Thing," but I never got around to seeing that until 1987.

Does anybody remember who George McCorkle is, or was? I won't say. I went right home after their packed-house concert of their sellout tour that night, too, and watched TV or something; that was more appealing than sitting there drunk and stoned until dawn. This illustrates my attitude about meeting famous people for the sake of meeting famous people. It's hard to imagine people as a ticket to anywhere but themselves.

I've come away with far more memorable experiences to tell from meeting people out here in the wilds of ordinary reality. Come to think of it, so has Roger. Look at this story: there he was with all these luminaries and who does he single out? Some noodge with quite curious eccentricities. Worth bemusing over.

So it's tough to put myself in a set of shoes like Jerry Brilliant's, Marie -- see? I have to look again to spell his name right. Jerry Berliant.

There must be far greater mysteries out here among us anonymous than are dreamed up in the supermarket tabloids, Horatio. For this I've been wondering what Rodge will write in his memoirs. I have a funny feeling he won't be devoting whole chapters to what Brad, Jennifer and Angela have been doing to hurt each others' feelings.

Roger, your youth is showing. You spelled Art's last name as if he were in Austin filmmaker Richard Linklater's family. We old-timers know Art spells it Linkletter.

Ebert: What we may be dealing with here is The Most Famous Unknown Man in the World. I don't care what Chaz says to me. I'm inviting Jerry to Ebertfest 2010. It won't be an A-list festival without him.

Ah, but will he come if he is invited? Sounds like the best way for him to be there is NOT to invite him.

So, do you see Jerry as a performance artist - like Chris Burden? With this article being an art review?

On behalf of The United State Society of Slow Talkers, Mr. um...Movie Critic, I would like to present this token of, er... admiration for the fine display of your narrative, uh....discourse by sending you a freshly baked cranberry shortcake. (Bob and Ray rocked!)

Can you imagine how good a reporter Jerry would have been back in the day when rewrite guys did all the prose and newspaper reporters spent all their time on the prowl? He would have had City Hall and the Cook County Building crying for mercy, the way he swims through all nets.

Another terrific journal piece -- this stuff better be gathered into a book, pal. It's a unique look at Chicago life and some of your best writing.

It's pretty funny to see all these people popping up in the blog who've had similar experiences with Jerry. I can't say for sure, but I think he's a spy (or at least that's the theory that appeals to me the most). Strangely, I'm reminded of two characters from the same movie: "Under Fire." Ed Harris' character is the first that comes to mind, in that he always seems to show up in the most unlikely of places at the most unlikely of times, sometimes doing terrible things but for some inexplicable reason, always remaining somewhat likable (if not exactly welcome). And the second is the French spy character, who seems to do a whole lot of drinking and schmoozing with woman but not a whole lot of actual spying (that one may be wishful thinking on my part).

I do hope he comes to Ebertfest, though, regardless of whether he's there to gather intel for the enemies. I think it would be pretty interesting to see. I'm planning on going to a Cubs game while I'm down there, too; if he's throwing the first pitch maybe I'll see him twice.

@ Seongyong Cho wrote - "Marie Haws - Thanks for reminding me "Outsourced". I watched it on Friday and it was charming..."

It's a great little movie, isn't it? I was so surprised! As I don't remember hearing that much about it.

Quick note: 60 Minutes is on right now as I type, and they're doing a story in Iraq with a "bomb disposal" unit; hello Hurt Locker! Oh hey, that's cool to know... deer hunters apparently make the best bomb hunters; as they're already trained to be really observant and invariably notice the smallest things. Holy crap, you're working 17 hour days?! Oh jeepers, bomb's gone off! Whew, they're okay! That was scary though.

Anyhoo...

@ Tom Dark wrote - "There must be far greater mysteries out here among us anonymous than are dreamed up in the supermarket tabloids, Horatio. For this I've been wondering what Rodge will write in his memoirs. I have a funny feeling he won't be devoting whole chapters to what Brad, Jennifer and Angela have been doing to hurt each others' feelings."

Ah, yes; the never-ending gauntlet at the supermarket that is exploits of Brad, Angelina and Jennifer. I don't dislike Brad or Angelina (their charity work is sincere and meaningful and I applaud them for it) but I could do without having to hear about them in conjunction with Aniston.

Meanwhile, as for Jerry...

"Jerry Berliant, a lawyer convicted of income tax fraud for failing to report more than 80 percent of his income, was sentenced Thursday to spend 20 consecutive weekends in jail.

U.S. District Judge John Grady, who imposed the sentence, ordered Berliant to begin serving his first weekend on June 7.

Berliant, of 6530 N. Maplewood Ave., pleaded guilty in March to two counts of filing false income tax returns. He was indicted after an Internal Revenue Service investigation that was part of Operation Greylord. Twenty- seven people have been indicted as a result of the Greylord investigation into court corruption. Seventeen have been convicted, one was acquitted, and the rest are awaiting trial." - Chicago Tribune, May 17, 1985.

If it's the same Jerry, this would explain how he's been able to afford to gatecrash all these events, Roger. He's still not reporting everything. And don't lawyers come into contact with all sorts of people, eh? Some engaged in highly suspect and "questionable activities" as it pertains to creating and or procuring false ID's..?

How is he doing it you asked? There ya go. :)

Pure speculation on my part of course, but if you still want to ignore Chaz's advice, by all means invite him to Ebertfest; chuckle!!

Your description of this mysterious man reminds me of a character named Eddie from Steve Toltz’s novel A Fraction of the Whole (if you haven’t read it, and you’re looking for a novel that will stay in your thoughts and dreams until well after you’ve finished it, then please, pick it up).

If Jerry Berliant is so often crashing the celebrity party scene, how does he remain so secretive? Wouldn’t someone have followed him home by now? Maybe slipped some truth serum into his drink?

Dear dogslurp,

wtf?

Why do you feel the need to post an off-topic, poorly constructed jab at Roger after reading this delightful blog article? Did you feel that was the only way your opinion could be heard? Couldn't you have sent that comment to Roger via e-mail? After all, your point seems more to concern a technical aspect of the website rather than something anyone reading this blog would care to read. Did you read the article? Did you have trouble finding synonyms for "stuck up?" Why did put quotes around "'stuck up?'" Why did you use the name "dogslurp?"

I have some advice for you, dogslurp. I think you should save up 99 cents, go to the local drug store and buy a notebook in your favorite color. In that notebook, you should record your thoughts. Like a diary. Then you should re-read what you just wrote and ask yourself, "Does this make sense?" That's it. If you do that every day I can guarantee you'll learn to hold your tongue enough so that when you do speak, you'll have something to say.

I would admire him, not so much as an artist but as a person who reached a peak he probably set out for himself to conquer. I can imagine him being day and night being obsessed with something and working towards it, like Michaelangelo at his sealing. More than any tangible rewards it must have been the conquest itself- the chase, the hunt and the quarry.

After all the goal is not to prove oneself to others, but to oneself. To cultivate oneself by ever more challenging tasks.

Jerry's accomplishment could not have come easily or naturally. He is the tight rope artiste.

Impostors usually aren't very bright. I once worked at a hotel where an impostor ransacked the room, drank every item in the minibar and then he left early in the morning. He had checked in the night before, he had shown a false ID and a stolen credit card. He would have got away with it. But what does the idiot do? He comes back later that day and says that he would like to extend his stay. So naturally, the police came by and let him extend his stay at their place.

Roger,
You may be interested in our local (Huntington, NY), more blue collar version of Jerry - Greg Packer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greg_Packer).

Whenever there is a big event, Greg Packer is there, usually being quoted by the press on what the "man on the street" thinks. If there is an event with a line, Greg Packer is there first. He's met presidents, attended celebrity studded events, even had profiles published in little local papers like the New York Times and Wall Street Journal... yet still he goes on. I saw him quoted just a week or so ago about the Yankee's recent world series run.

No mystery to his methods - he gives it all away for free - in an interview of course:
http://www.onthemedia.org/yore/transcripts/transcripts_051305_man.html

He knows where to go, gets there early... and just waits. Persistence and time. Smiling helps too apparently. I knew patience was a virtue, but they never told me the rewards...

It's actually kind of heartening - in a Dickensian way, I guess - to know that despite all the walls that are put up to keep one out, sureness of self and the right jacket can get one anywhere.

But on the other hand, it's DISheartening - in a Lomanesque way - that a person with such self confidence, and such ability to "sell" himself to the gatekeepers of the most rarefied places of the world is ~apparently~ squandering his ability. Going by this account, Jerry Berliant does everything he can to socialize with the movers and shakers. With his chutzpah and intelligence, one would think he could find a way to ~earn~ his right to these gatherings. But he's doesn't.

Now, he may be a billionaire investor for all we know and this is how he gets his kicks, but I doubt it. The "star shine" seems to hold him enthralled. I think he, and all of us, should take a little advice from Betty Comden and Adolph Green, by way of Jimmy Durante:

"Fame if you win it, comes and goes, in a minute. Where's the real stuff in life to cling to?"

This is the first time I have ever heard the name Jerry Berliant thanks for sharing this 'story' Roger.

Basically Jerry is a con-man who chances his arm.

Through his ability to lie and cheat he has wormed his way into hundreds of parties and events and become a celebrity. Now many famous and influential people know him and his name.

Genius.

I'd never heard of him before but already respect him more than Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Jack and Kelly Osbourne and Nicole Ritchie.

At least Jerry has talent!!!!

While I always enjoy your blog posts, Roger - I must say that this might be the most enjoyable one yet!

It's like a virtual cocktail party (with our old friends such as Marie Haws and Tom Dark, as well as some luminaries: Art Spander, Bill Nack and Wael Khairy) . . . the only thing that would make it complete would be a post by Jerry Berliant, himself.

Hi there again,

I know I'm kind of off topic here but for those who wanted to check out my blog, here you go: http://cinephilefix.wordpress.com/

It is pretty basic as I am working on a more user friendly blog but I think thi will do for now. It will be an honor if some of you (especially Mr. Ebert) read my articles and took a look at my personal favorite movies of all time.

Thanks in advance, and sorry for interrupting this conversation. It won't happen again, I promise :)

Ebert: Wael, You are a critic of the first rank. Your essay on "Kane" brings fresh eye to it.

Why is your list of the 100 Greatest Films of All Time almost entirely American?

Bob and Ray. The greatest thing my late father ever did may have been to inundate me with high-quality humor from a very young age, chief among them Bob and Ray broadcasts from all their decades of production. I performed, with a friend, in grammar school, the whole "guy who finishes other people's sentences" bit: sure, I got a lot of blank stares and didn't make the talent show finals - but I wear that alienation as a badge of pride.

I remember when Goulding passed away... but I see that Bob is still alive. Thank god. I hope he's comfortable.

Ebert: Me and a buddy performed them in the sixth grade. Blank stares, yeah. If you don't get Bob and Ray you don't get a lot of things.

Bob and Ray were the greatest--the only duo that consists of two straight men. Two of my favorites are "The Komodo Dragon, the World's Largest Living Lizard," and the "National Slow Talkers of America." For effect, I typed that last title very slowly.

I was super happy to see the review up for Skin. I saw it at TIFF two years ago. Sandra came for the movie. I loved it and rated it very high and hadn't seen anything of it and was afraid it wasn't going to get a release.

You said:

I don't care what Chaz says to me. I'm inviting Jerry to Ebertfest 2010. It won't be an A-list festival without him.

I think you invite him by having the event.

This is the greatest, Roger. The greatest! I remember first seeing him with Irv & Essee Kupcinet and thinking he must be a friend of theirs. Then I began seeing him everywhere else. My favorite line: "He never overstays his lack of welcome."

Hi Roger -- It's hard to know where to begin! I've known Jerry for decades. Love all of your reminiscences already in your journal. While I too have run into Jerry at the Golden Globes, the Oscars, Kentucky Derby, Super Bowl, etc. (besides a jillion Chicago society and charity parties) -- Here are my favorite two Jerry "moments":

1. I don't exactly remember the year -- but it was one when I did NOT get sent to the Golden Globes, so was home watching them on TV. All of a sudden, when they went backstage to Dick Clark, greeting winners as they came off stage -- who should show up walking back and forth -- repeatedly -- right behind Dick and whoever had just won their Golden Globe -- but Jerry Berliant! Clearly crossing back and forth -- always looking right into the camera so he'd be seen -- was our boy Jerry! It was hilarious.
The next year -- I happened to be out there covering the awards -- and there was Jerry again -- in the room, SEATED at a table with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. (Don't know if he was able to con his way into sitting there all night, but he was certainly there for awhile.)

2. My other favorite Jerry moment came a couple of years ago in Aspen. As always, Jerry was out there for all of the July 4th holiday festivities -- including the "Ideas" conference that attracts all kinds of famous people from politics, academia, journalism and the arts. That same time -- always on July 4th -- Renee and Lester Crown hold their annual Independence Day party -- and major bash and the social event of that holiday period in Aspen. But this is one thing even Jerry can't crash, as the Crowns own Aspen Mountain (the party is held on the top -- at the lodge they also own) -- and they have so much security watching who gets on the cablecars going up -- there's no way Jerry can get by them. (Plus all are alert to him and know what he looks like). So, the poor guy just stands down at the entrance to the cable cars -- saying hi to one and all -- checking out who's made the "cut" that year.
I would guess it is about the ONLY party Jerry cannot get into.

On a final note, I realized my own "big" birthday party last Christmastime (which you and Chaz were unable to attend -- believe you were out of town) -- was a success -- because Jerry, who was not invited just waltzed right into The Casino -- and wished me happy birthday and rattled off virtually everyone who was on MY guest list!

Ebert: We've discussed this before, but any more info on how he pays for his airplane tickets?

Readers, Bill is the famed entertainment columnist of the Chicago Sun-Times.

http://j.mp/1a9KXp

Classic article!

Wow-hanging out with Bob Elliott and Jack Brickhouse-- wish I could have been there.

BTW the another temporary voice of the Chicago Cubs was Ronald Reagan who was in the booth during the Cubs spring training on Catalina Island in the late thirties where he was "discovered" by some Hollywood type and the rest is history. But I'm sure you already knew that. Ah--What a movie Casablanca would have been if only Ronnie had played Rick!

Believe it or not I have not had the pleasure of meeting Jerry Berliant or if so my memory has failed me. I usually remember bartenders (even the rogue ones) and they usually remember me. Maybe he poured me a Caucasian at the Hotel du Cap.

While I have crashed a party or two in my time-- one big difference between me and Jerry is as my old college friend Huey Lewis sings "some of my lies are true." Maybe Jerry's are too. I'll ask Mike Eisner next time we are having lunch at the Polo Lounge if he is as close with Jerry as he is with me.

I do have very wonderful memories of the day you got your star on Hollywood Blvd. Maybe I even crashed that. It was the first time I actually met Andy Davis. Haskell Wexler told me that it was Andy who picked up his camera when Haskell went down (due to tear gas) while shooting Medium Cool during the 1968 convention.

Andy and I have gotten to know each other a bit since. Didn't you go to college together at U of I Evanston? See my memory is failing me a bit--unlike yours which is amazing.

Sorry I don't have any classic tales to add about Jerry.

But if I run into Jerry at President Obama's upcoming Economic Summit when he introduces his old Chi-town pal Barack--maybe the Prez and I can roll a few balls with Jerry down in the White House bowling alley. I hear his average is 289 (over 3 games).

Ebert: Readers:

The author is the inspiration for the character The Big Lebowski, and patron saint of the Church of the Latter-Day Dude.

dogship is just trolling. He'll saturate the hydrant soon enough.

You too, Rodge? I tried doing Bob and Ray skits with a lady at a coffeeshop. "How to Use a Paperclip" and others.

Listen: Jerry Berliant has been on my mind inordinately. I have thought my thoughts about him, but essaying them doesn't feel right now. Rodge's has probably already changed his life. Yeah Jerry needs to be at Ebertfest.

Also inordinately on my mind, since just a few hours ago. I can't stop looking at these people. I have lived and worked among these people:

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Ebert: Possibly not a single undocumented worker, or worker of any kind, among them.

Roger,

Roe Conn and I just spent fifteen minutes talking about him on the radio on Monday, the 9th.

A mare named Zenyatta won the Breeder's Cup Classic five million dollar race on the 7th. It was a great story with an unbeaten mare keeping her record perfect, 14 for 14, while beating the boys in the biggest race of the year. Zenyatta is owned by Jerry Moss who co-founded A and M records with Herb Alpert. The mare is named for the 1980's era Police album Zenyatta Mondatta. After the race the ESPN cameras cut to the winning owner. In full view, directly behind and just to the side of Jerry Moss was Berliant. I couldn't believe it.

I've seen him in the winner's circle at the Kentucky Derby, at the official Super Bowl Party the night before the big game, in the media room at the NBA finals, and at several other big events. A few years ago I asked him if I could interview him about his experiences and do a story on him.

The answer was no.

I also know that he has recently been removed from at least two, and maybe more, Chicago events for being an uninvited guest.

Is it possible he's finally worn out the welcome he never had?

Magers

Ebert: What a way for his home town to treat him!

Readers: Ron is the principal news anchor for WLS ABC/7 Chicago.

It's a very grainy photo, but I believe that was Jerry Berliant standing behind Hitler at the Nuremberg rally.

Have I missed it, or how come nobody's mentioned "Zelig" yet?

I know a sportscaster down in Alabama. I'm going to check with him now.

Ebert: I thought you were kidding, but...

Roger...

You spelled "Spielberg" wrong!

Ebert: Hey, only 50% of the time.

Roeper gave 2 1/2 outta five stars to the new Zemeckis/Dickens flick. He needs to lighten up. I just wrote my first movie review for my communications class (we're making a magazine, thought im not sure what that has to do with communications), and I'd say its pretty good for a college freshmen. I know your not gunna post this, cuz it has nothing to do with your blog, but i just thought id tell yuh. Your gunna read it and all. Just seems like i got nobody to talk to nowadays, so i comment on famous peoples blogs. Im going to imagine your response after im done writing this, except it wont be realistic. It will be a response of infinite joy at the idea of a college freshmen writing his first movie review. I titled it "Bah Humbug! In 3-D!". I'd say thats pretty good. I think my mistake was that i didnt take a pen and paper into the theater to take notes. It's mighty hard thinking about the movie and writing about it 2 days later without any notes. You know whats funny? The only way you would post this is if i said something that you found interesting or funny or if this was extremely well-written or something. Thats not right, mr ebert. I say things about whats going on with my life and they are just as honest and sincere as someone who writes better. But, yea, i give a christmas carol 4 stars and usually agree with what you give movies. I find that my taste resembles yours. I think im gunna be a famous novelist and write famous novels and what not and start a family band and live in sweden and travel the mountainside (mountainside?) singing and playing instruments and being happy! Im starting to use your blog as a journal. Goood Idea! Your blog is going to my journal from now on and im going to keep writing all about my life every single day in different names so you dont keep deleting em once you see my name and my level of education will go up everytime so it appears that im a more intelligent person and you wont even realize its me till your halfway through with the comment and then youll have to keep reading cuz you cant stop reading something halfway. well craig ferguson is on, au revoir mon ami.

Ebert: If you're going to achieve that incredible list of ambitions, you're not going to have time for Craig Ferguson. I've given up on Sweden, novels and the family band, and enjoy him greatly.

Ebert: Wael, You are a critic of the first rank. Your essay on "Kane" brings fresh eye to it.

Why is your list of the 100 Greatest Films of All Time almost entirely American?

Thank you, Mr. Ebert. Coming for you it means a lot, it really does. As for my 100 Greatest Movies list, the reason it's almost entirely American is because when I initially created the list my intention was to create a list that represented the 100 Greatest American Movies of All Time. It wasn't till after I completed the list that I changed my mind and started plugging in foreign movies. The foreign movies in the list are the ones that came to mind when I started adjusting the list for a more global representation of cinema. However, I constantly remember the exclusion of a certain film and quickly plug it in. The list is definetly not a final one and more "in development" since I'm working on rewatching a lot of foreign movies (and some I've never seen before). I recently bought "1001 Movie You Have to See Before You Die" and was dissapointed that I've only seen around 700. I'm still working on watching the rest as well as rewatching some. I'm sure the list will change in the future; afterall, I'm only in my mid-twenties and am constantly working on evolving as a film critic. Time and experience will play an important factor here :) I'm an avid film fanatic and hope to have half the knowledge of your expertise and other cinephiles like Tarantino and Scorsese by the time I'm fourty.

Best Regards,
Wael Khairy

Ebert: I also couldn't resist starting to check off those 1,001 titles, but gave it up. That is one heck of a good book, and much more intelligent than you migt suspect from its title.

Tom Dark, are you serious? I mean there's no way Berliant was standing next to Hitler. How old do you think he is...he'd have to be in his 90's at least to have attended such an event..unless you think he's immortal (hehe) :)

A couple of weeks ago, Jerry was gobbling down the food and lining up at the bar at a private event at the Elysian Hotel, which hasn't even officially opened yet. He's not one for a formal handshake/hello/how you doing. He just starts a conversation at 60 mph, as if he's afraid too many formalities will alert the authorities to his gate-crasher status. He's a "sidler," to quote "Seinfeld." He just sidled up to me at this event and started talking about movies and the Sun-Times and by the way, was I going to that other party at such-and-such later that night?

Later, I tried to explain the Jerry phenomenon to a friend. She was fascinated, but at the end of the story she said, "But what does he DO?" Who knows, but he does what he does so well.

BTW, I usually invite him to my book parties. It seems to confuse him.

RR

Ebert: Richard: Will be attend under those circumstances?

I would also like to know his secret of inexaustible energy. If you've seen "Up in the Air" yet, you'll agree he must fly as much as George Clooney, and at greater risk.

There were only two people who could do Bob & Ray, and their names were Robert Brackett Elliott and Raymond Walter Goulding. It should have surprised no one that when Ray died, Bob retired the act. Even professionals would be wary of trying to simulate the work, let alone duplicate it: amateurs shouldn't even try.

So you want to invite Jerry Berliant to Ebertfest. This seems to indicate that you have a valid address for him.
Here's an impertinent suggestion: Why not drop in on him unannounced some time?
Of course, that assumes that he would actually be there at the time. Jerry sounds like someone who might have no fixed abode, perhaps maintaining a PO box for whatever communicating he had to do.

After a break, I'm going to the Festering Fringe thread to see if my latest tirade there got any notice. Pray for me.

Ebert: I thought you were kidding, but...

Not about asking my Alabama sportscaster friend Kevin Long, I wasn't. He did that on the college level down there 'til recently. Quote:

Me: Kevin, did you ever hear about a guy named Jerry Berliant while you were doing the sports gig in Alabama?

Kevin: Is that the dude who figures out ways to get into Super Bowls by showing up in coaching gear and telling security he's on the coaching staff, then sneaks into the game?

Ebert: Is there a sportscaster who doesn't know him?

I'm not sure that it would work at a Holloywood type party, but we used to always say that if you dressed in work clothes, carried a clipboard and looked like you were taking notes on what the people there were doing, you could go through any workplace without being questioned. The theory being that people would be afraid that you might be an inspector or worse, an effeciency expert. Mind you, this was pre-9/11...

In two of your photographs, taken years apart, the gentleman looks remarkably similar. Kind of like Sidd Finch would look about now. Has Jerry been posting on the blog,coming to light as it were,under another monicker?
Does Quantum Theory permit it to always be April 1 somewhere in the universe?

I have to laugh at the fact that this journal entry, about a guy who crashes Star-Studded Extravaganzas, has through its replies a Star-Studded Extravaganza of its own. Coincidence? or did word-of-mouth (or -keyboard) spread like wildfire?

Mr. Ebert,

Just a note to say thank you VERY much for your blog ... I may not agree with all of your perspectives on certain issues but I truly appreciate your wonderment of life and the way this passion manifests itself in your writings. Jerry seems quite the character, no doubt. A Zeligesque character who seems to be forever pursuing his place in the periphery of the good life.

I'd have to go with Marie in her take on his pic. I get the sense that if you started to peel back the carefully constructed layers a bit there would be nothing at the core. Still, one has to give him props for pure chutzpah. Seems that secret service realized that there was an unscheduled handshake in the inaugural festivities of Bush's first term ... which also happened to occur during Clinton's second four years earlier.

http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-409002.html

Regards,

J

Ebert: I can't stop thinking about that link you sent, which is so VERY relevant to this blog entry.

Highbeam.com is is NOT a free site. The search is for a 2001 news item not everyone would think to look for. It doesn't mention Berliant by name, so it couldn't be found that way. Goggle lists 335,000 hits for term "gate-crasher."

Wouldn't this link be of interest only to someone with a connection to it?

How did you happen to come across it, Jason?

Oh. My. God.

Hi, Mr. Ebert,

I read all of your blog entries, and I just had to say that this one was really fun. I've never commented before because I think I'd drag down the average intelligence of the posts and I don't want you to have to take down your Computerworld blurb from the top of your blog. Keep up the good work, and God bless.

Ebert: Hey, the moment you posted, the site's IQ meter went up a tick.

How does he do it?...--He says he Wayne Newton? Only half serious about that one? How does he afford it? Maybe playing poker? My sister's friend's mom makes a living playing poker at a casino.

I was playing off the movie "Zelig" about Jerry Berliant showing up in a photo with Hitler, Wael,

And I see "Zelig" is not on your top 100 list. However, I counted 31 movies on your list I have yet to see. This is awful. I earned a "good gravy" from Roger for the estimate of films I've watched since 1986, and I've so far missed 31 from your favorites list alone. My goal to be able to talk about even all the popular movies is impossible (this past year I caught up on all the biggest box office draws of the past 15 years, tho'. I probably only thought I did).

Excellent piece on "The Conversation." My wife was a sound supervisor for WB, Sony and others for 2 decades. I've also got a background in it. You must too, eh?

I've got yet another sports guy to contact and see if he knows about Jerry Berliant. Quite a character in his own right, quite a writer.

In the meantime, here's the new put-down of the 21st C.: "Not even Jerry Berliant showed up."

Roger...Great Article.....sounds like a man I would like to meet...but wouldn't trust...by the way do you have dogslurp's address......I would like to have him 'taken care of' ...for you....He writes and sounds like a prick ......Best...Billy Baxter

Ebert: Hi Billy. Yes, I think his address is:

Dogslurp
c/o General Delivery
Butthole, USA

It may just be that he remembered the incident as having happened to the President. Using "president" and "gate-crasher" yields this link as the 3rd result. Not a hard find. Certainly well within the ability of even the least google-fu possessed.

I see alot of people commenting on this guy's "emptiness" and whatnot...and how sad oh so sad a character he must be in that ol' finger-wagging way.

Can't someone just be good at something for the sake of being good at it, and pursue it simply for its own sake?

Well, sure they can!

...@/

Roger....Just read your article on Jerry.......You mention F. Scott Fitzgerald....I became good friends with his girlfriend Sheila Graham...she told me plenty of stories about him...picture attached ( I hope)......best to you and Chaz....Billy Baxter

Ebert: A handsome couple:

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/billy-silver-dollar-baxter-and.html

In July 1992, my wife Grace was autographing copies of her book "The Dream Seekers" at a private cocktail reception at Relish, an upscale restaurant in North Halsted. Would there be enough people to make the event exciting? We knew that relatives and friends would support Grace and her book, but would important/famous/opinion leaders also be there? Would the book be accepted, bought and read?
We knew the event was a success when, uninvited, Jerry Berliant showed up, shook hands with everyone and introduced us to those he thought were important for Grace to know. The Relish signing was a memorable evening and the book subsequently appeared on the Chicago Tribune's best seller lists.
Jerry's appearance indicated that Grace and her book had risen to the level of being important enough for Berliant to party crash.
(Just last year, 2008, we saw Jerry in Palm Springs, I believe at a massive, outdoor wine tasting, meaning that, too, was anointed as important enough to crash.)

Ebert: Ha! Norman, you and Grace just visited us in Chicago. If we had brought up Jerry, you'd still be here.

Snail: Can't someone just be good at something for the sake of being good at it, and pursue it simply for its own sake?

Well, sure they can!

---Well, sure they can! You'd be amazed at how good Leonard Lake and Charles Ng got at skinning people alive! You could even see their hearts beating!

Roger,

Forgive me if you've already seen this, but your blog post reminded me of a fascinating article I read in Vanity Fair sometime back. The article was about a man named Christian Gerhartsreiter who went by the name of Clark Rockefeller. Using the Rockefeller name as an in, this man ascended to lofty positions among New York's social and cultural elite. Whenever someone questioned his unusual mannerisms or seeming lack of awareness, it was attributed to his affluence: "Oh, he's just one of those quirky Rockefellers."

Of course, from what we know of him, Mr. Berliant hasn't pretended to be anyone other than himself, so perhaps the fake Rockefeller story is not as relevant. In any case, it's a great read and I highly recommend it.

http://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/2009/01/fake_rockefeller200901

P.S.
At the risk of sounding like a fanboy, I had the pleasure of meeting you and Chaz in person at the Christmas Carol press screening a few weeks back. It was a great honor.

So.... NOT a free site, eh? That's never stopped me from going into full Otter mode!

http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-3790403.html

Chicago Sun-Times
Article date: October 14, 1986
Author: Tom Fitzpatrick

"Jerry the Gate Crasher used to love October. It was baseball playoff time and World Series time. It was also a time when the Bears' season was in full swing. And Jerry Berliant, a man who never found it necessary to pay for a ticket to any of these events, always showed up wearing a smug smile and sitting in one of the best seats in the house.

Berliant was a Chicago lawyer. He roamed the halls of Traffic Court. He also frequented the Criminal Courts Building, at 26th and California. But I've never found a lawyer who knew of a single trial in which Berliant, the lawyer, participated.

He was a Rush Street hanger-on who could be found in the most popular night spots. But he wasn't a boozer.... "

I found that in 5 minutes, Roger! This time, because I combined Jerry Berliant with "lawyer" and sure enough, it's the same guy!

Seems Lawyer + Criminal Courts + Tax evasion = Mr. Everywhere, Jerry Berliant. Grin.

I was right about him - a lawyer with useful connections for having made useful friends. :)

Note: Jason probably found his link the same way I found mine - you start with "gate crasher" and then add terms to it, and there ya go!

Although it would have been super cool if Jason was actually Jerry Berliant; as you know how I feel about irony. Smile.

P.S. there's curious, and then you can go FULL OTTER....!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ_Krei6EKw

Grin.

Absolutely fascinating. However, I must say I don't want to know more about this strange character, just as I don't want the secret to magic tricks being revealed.

One thing comes to mind though; if he's well known enough does it make it easier or harder to crash parties? It seems as though he's canny enough to walk this thin line. He's probably leaps and bounds (not just a few steps) ahead of the rest of us.

My bad, Tom Dark. I have Zelig around somewhere but somehow never got around to seeing it. I'll check it out though. I've never had any experience with sound mixing and editing...I read a lot though :) Do you have any assembly of your favorite movies?

I'm reading the new comments backwards from the bottom.

Suddenly I'm chortling to myself over the realization (!!!) that this post - the post about the guy who crashes the big celebrity events - this post has drawn all kinds of celebrities to comment on the blog site.

(And me.)

(Because it's a fun place to be.)

Roger,

First off, mighty big fan of your writing. I love watching a film (new or old)and then looking up your review to see what you wrote about it. Usually I tend to agree with you and I learn facts about some aspect of the film I was previously unaware of. Also, as of late, I discovered the At the Movies website and have been looking up movies watching past reviews done by either you and Gene or you and Roeper. My favorite is when both of you graciously admire a quality film, but also find it comical when you rip a bad one. What brings me to this question. "Attack of the GIant Leeches" was mentioned in this blog and yesterday I watched a past review you and a guest co host had done of "Mission to Mars". In that review you had mentioned your love for Sci Fi films. What struck me when I saw that film when it came out was that it reminded me of the flood of pre man on the moon Sci Fi films from the 50's like "Destination Moon", "Rocketship XM", and "Joureny to the Seventh Planet". Were any of these films any good? Not really, but they all had some sort of enjoyment factor, kinda like "Mission to Mars". If you could, what I'd like to know is what are some of you favorite Sci Fi films? Or better yet, any guilty pleasures like the films I mentioned above? :)

Thanks,
Bryan

PS: I love reading the Great Movies files on your site. Whenever I have time to kill between classes I read them. They are simply amazing and introduce me to new films to check out.

Your story about Jerry Berliant reminded me very much of another famous gatecrasher, only his targets tended to be great sporting events. The gentleman's name was Dion Rich, and he did things such as crashing the Super Bowl on a repeated basis (including being photographed on the field as Tom Landry was being carried off by the team). He also managed to slip into the Playboy mansion once, and even crashed the Oscars a few times.

His greatest event was the Super Bowl in New Orleans, post-9/11. The NFL had the place on total lockdown, and it took Dion Rich (as recorded by Rick Reilly) less than six minutes to get into the Superdome. The CIA could have used someone like this guy for years.

WHO DOESN'T KNOW JERRY?

I have trained my entire staff to be on the watch for him crashing any of our events.

I guess we do "Class A Events" as they say, if Jerry is there!
But the guy is too odd for me.

After he gets in, like at our Spielberg Tribute or Clint Eastwood Tribute he zeroes-in on you
with very clever opening lines like " Now, the after party is________(He doesn't know, but you
foolishly fill in the blanks)" He's at the Hilton, right or was it The Hyatt? Did he bring his wife? Where is
Tom Cruise anyway?" It's like he's working for KUP, in the old days...

He was escorted out of the Opening, middle and closing of this year's Chicago Festival...while asking
"The party is at The Drake? Right?..."no it's the Wit isn't it....I'll see ya at The Wit"...of course the party
was at an undisclosed location which he never found!

I guess he's harmless...just a little lonely.

Best,

Michael

Ebert: Kutza is the founder and head of the Chicago International Film Festival, which this year celebrated its 45th year, few of those without Jerry as a guest.

Oh God! I love this story! I just love it.

I have been reading a lot of conspiracy theories lately about how the world governments are approaching an agreement on full disclosure about UFOs and extra-terrestrial beings visiting our planet.

Maybe Jerry is one of Them and his field of human behavioural research is the rich and famous. Who needs airline tickets when you have warp drive? This would also explain the vacant look so many are concerned about - it's actually a man suit he is wearing. In reality his eyes extend on stalks but for the sake of his mission, he has had to roll them up and stuff them into the fake eye sockets in his fake face.

Think about it - your eyes would be a bit blank as well.

Ebert: But you could teleport right past the velvet rope into the VIP area.

Dear Mr. Ebert:

I have been a fan of yours for many years. I am a young filmmaker from Brooklyn, NY and currently finishing my MFA degree in Film Production at NYU's Tisch Asia in Singapore. My brother, Jordan Schiele, is a filmmaker and colleague of mine. A short film of his exploring "What Is A Journey?" is currently a finalist entry in Wong Kar Wai's "Journeys Awards". He is eligible for the grand prize of $25,000 from an audience vote and I am seeking reputable internet venues to support him and encourage people to view his work and vote at http://www.journeysawards.com/film.php?index=5. This voting process continues through Dec. 14.

It would be an incredible honor and mean the world to both of us if you would allow for a posting on your website/journal to help spread the word. We have also set up a Facebook group that people may join at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=211014838781&ref=ts

Thank you for your time and consideration. I always enjoy reading your insightful reviews. Perhaps I will have the rare pleasure of you reviewing a film of mine one day.

Sincerely Yours,
Melanie Schiele
http://www.melanieschiele.com

No relevance to Jerry whatsoever, but I noticed you reprinted you Nosferatu essay. Can we assume that, immediately after seeing New Moon, you had to watch it the way a garbageman probably feels the need for a good shower after work?

Gate Crashers
Irritating people, there are a few guys like this in the Lincoln Park area. They can not even pay the $40.00 for an event.

I'm disappointed to report that I don't have a Berliant story for your
collection.

I don't know whether that means that he's been slipping in past us or
that he doesn't consider the Oscars important enough to crash. Either
conclusion is a little dismaying.

We have detailed records on the guys (and it's always guys) who've tried to crash our party over the past 20 years, and neither Jerry's name nor photo is in them. (My favorite crasher was the one who had written a book about how he could crash any event in the world. He spent a week on L.A. talk shows trumpeting the fact that he was going to get into the upcoming Oscars and then return to the shows to describe how he had pulled it off.

We caught him trying to sneak in -- in a tux -- the day before the show and the L.A.P.D. entertained him for a while. He later
sued us for causing him public embarrassment.)

Bruce

Ebert: Well, as executive director of the Academy, if anyone would know, you would. Yet I actually saw him on the red carpet one year, and I believe others who recognized him did, too.

Of course, it must be easier to crash the red carpet than to actually get inside. For years Edy Williams was a regular, one year bringing a pet on a leash (cougar? leopard?) and on another saying, "I want you to meet my date, Mr. Dean Witter."

Walking in holding a cougar on a leash would seem to be the opposite of the Berliant strategy.

Wael, my own top ten favorite flicks are among your top 100 list, also in no particular order. I also have a list of movies I'm embarrassed to admit how often I've watched, back on Roger's blog about top lists... do you know what you made me do? I went back through a pile of old mixes just to criticize my work from 15 years ago... wish I'd had these new Sennheisers back then, but back then, the going wisdom was use AKG cans and always mix through near-field monitors. Things have changed.

Marie, I think Christine Langtree is correct: Jerry is an E.T. on a field mission. I should have known. I think next time he's escorted anywhere, it should be to a NASA lab. There are so many questions they would like to ask him, I'll bet. Like how much does he know so far?

Where's that Charles Farrell? Too snooty to jump in? Somebody here's been asking about him.

This has nothing to do with your story, but I felt I should leave one last comment before you're torn limb from limb by angry 13-year-old girls for your "New Moon" review. Godspeed, Mr. Ebert. You were a good egg.

Falstaff?

dear mr ebert.

i've been a fan of yours for 7 years; i've never written or commented on anything you've done and always admired you. one of the reasons i have twitter is to follow you. i have no idea how to reach you or what you would read first if someone is trying to reach you. in fact i have not read this post where i'm placing my comment, (i will read if after i get this off my chest)...

please do not retweet Palin anything. we know. please.

sincerely,

a long time fan.

I couldn't place why Jerry sounded so familiar, and then I was reminded: Edgar Allen Poe's story, "The Man of the Crowd" (it's in the public domain, so available all over). A man who goes into paroxysms when not surrounded by others; suspected by an observer who trails him of terrible, unnamed crimes (that part isn't quite the same).

I've met many Jerrys, all of them pathological liars, some I grew to know quite well, and many, like Jerry, had a bizarre mix of actual remarkable life experiences, and completely fabricated equally remarkable ones.

At a conference in Maine a decade ago, I met a Jerry who had talked his way in as press into the three-day event (much like the Ideas conference mentioned earlier). I had lunch with him and discovered that he claimed to be widely published over a long period. When I checked a periodicals database, I found he had been: on the letters page. An inveterate and successful letter-to-the-editor writer, he had been published perhaps dozens of times, and convinced himself that writing letters was equivalent to working for these magazines. He managed at one point to get and fulfill a biographical book contract for a major publisher (still puzzling over that), and at some point after that was rusticated from a midwest library for using profanity.

Interesting characters, these Jerrys.

[quote]By Tom Dark on November 17, 2009 11:47 PM
Snail: Can't someone just be good at something for the sake of being good at it, and pursue it simply for its own sake?

Well, sure they can!

---Well, sure they can! You'd be amazed at how good Leonard Lake and Charles Ng got at skinning people alive! You could even see their hearts beating![end quote]

A ridiculous comparison, and insulting to both the letter and spirit of my remark.
To the back of the class with you, Sir.

...@/

Please forgive me for posting a topic not relevant to this journal entry. I have a question I'd very much like to ask you, given that I consider you very intelligent, and given what I know about your experience.

I will be 21 years old in five days, and I'm wondering, what is it exactly you think about alcohol? From what I've read of yours already, I can't decide if you think drinking is bad in general, or if you only regret letting your drinking get out of control.

I'm only curious, and would greatly appreciate any reply to this matter.

There are really good movies here in http://downloadmoviesfree.net/ Try it for yourself.

There are guys (and gals) like Berliant in every city, but this guy sounds like the Jedi Master of Gatecrashing. Hows does he do it? I don't mean the physical challenge, but the mental challenge of keeping every celebrity and demi-celebrity and their respective orbits in order? I can barely keep track of the people I really know.

Interesting guy. Why does he do it? While celebrity plays a part, I bet the challenge of getting into these events plays an even bigger part. He appears to be living life to the fullest. How many people can say that? Maybe his "blank expression" in the photos is not so much a reflection of his soul, but a barrier to keep it concealed from others. He is a well known unknown. And he must have some connection to the airline industry. Maybe a friend or relative who works for one of them?

Roger:

This uninvited apparition at every public event could well be a messenger of the inevitable.

Snail: Can't someone just be good at something for the sake of being good at it, and pursue it simply for its own sake?

Well, sure they can!

---Well, sure they can! You'd be amazed at how good Leonard Lake and Charles Ng got at skinning people alive! You could even see their hearts beating![end quote]

Snail: A ridiculous comparison, and insulting to both the letter and spirit of my remark. To the back of the class with you, Sir.

---Well then? You'd be amazed at how good an Italian postman got at never delivering so much as a single letter in his entire career! When he died they discovered 40 years' worth of undelivered mail in his apartment!

---Spirits mollified now?

Off topic:

I saw 2012 last night after it fell off the back of a truck called the internet. Ordinarily, you wouldn't want to do that - action movies such as this play best on the big screen where you can readily appreciate all the CGI carnage. But I also like to eat and thus chose groceries instead of a ticket. :)

In exchange and partly to off-set any bad karma, I thought I'd share what I thought of it - as good word of mouth is worth something, surely? Yes, that's right. I actually thought it was good.

Michael Bay could learn a thing or two, when it comes to how to shoot a spectacle and this movie would be a good place for him to start. For although there's a lot of stuff happening on screen, I always knew where I was and despite all the stuff flying around, never got dizzy. I dare say that's because the camera was steady and so the action was "readable" visually.

Proportion and scale are the cornerstones of a truly great action shot, moreover. Film too close and you ruin everything. "Oh but we can cheat it, right?" (Insert guy in a corporate suit.)

Uh, no, you can't. That's why Michael Bay movies SUCK!

And why this one doesn't.

In real life, when you focus on an object, you don't lose your peripheral vision at the same time. And the filmmakers have kept that in mind when tracking cars and planes and people running etc. And I can't tell you how much I applaud them for it - as FINALLY someone has shot a disaster movie the way I'd have shot it! Clapping!

From a block away. Back the hell up. Let me see what the threat is and how big it really is, dude!

Moments illustrating the above:

- Limo ride through the streets of a city falling into the sea.
- Escaping said city on a plane having to dodge buildings!
- Mushroom cloud erupting over Yellowstone National Park (I've been there! But all we had to contend with was a bear alert.)
- Escaping the incoming fallout in a motor home chased by flaming rocks the size of a 3 story house - holy crap!

Special note: best supporting actor nod to Woody Harrelson as a tree-huggin' stoner broadcasting his last dispatch from a top a ridge overlooking the exploding landscape and totally enjoying the hellish approach of his immanent, gruesome death. That was so awesome, dude! Thumbs up!

I was less impressed by scenes at the Vatican showing the destruction of the Sistine Chapel and Michelangelo's ceiling and the Dome rolling pin over the faithful - as albeit ironic, it was also played too straight. The film walks a fine line in such moments, between what I can best describe as intentional and unintentional satire.

Case in point; we know they're being cheeky when they show a politician speaking with an Austria accent alla Schwarzenegger; smile. Indeed, the film is peppered with "knowing glances" from the script and as if to say, "just in case you thought we were serious."

Maybe it's hard for filmmakers to kill children gleefully? That never stopped Edward Gorey, but then like Lear he was British too. Anyhoo, whenever Italian parents were shown hugging their terrified kids, I felt those actors played it a bit "too straight". And consequently when the faithful got killed it wasn't as much fun to watch. Which left the spectacle of it all, and the dome filled the screen a bit "too much" in that shot. Whereas when the aircraft carrier came into Washington DC on a tsunami and rolled over the white house - they used a massive aerial shot to give you a sense of the sheer scope of it all. Although that said, I'm not American and so such landmarks don't resonate the same for me. It was well done, but I enjoyed other stuff more.

Note: I recognized UK actress Thandie Newton (ie: the President's daughter) from The Chronicles of Riddick where she played the evil queen, Dame Vaako. She's also in Richie's "Rock n' Rolla". I keep waiting for someone to hand her nice juicy part in a serious film.

I also recognized Chiwetel Ejiofor! He plays geologist Adrian Helmsley. He's British of Nigerian parentage (name is pronounced: chew-it-tell, edge-oh-for.) And he's no slouch as an actor! He was nominated for a Laurence Olivier Theatre Award in 2001 for Best Supporting Actor for his performance in Blue/Orange at the Royal National Theatre. And got the O.B.E. (Officer of the Order of the British Empire) in the 2008 Queen's Birthday Honors List for his services to drama.

Not that I disliked John Cusack or anything, but the others held my attention better. I could have cheerfully watched a film starring just these two alone!

The film is 2 hours and 22 minutes long. I watched it with my brother and his roommate. Around the 1:20 mark we started to feel "full" if you know what I mean? And that's really my only complaint with this movie; it starts to drag. As otherwise, I laughed at all the obvious milking of tension in a scene and of course he's going to make it - but only just - and of course we're going to save her little purse dog, and naturally selfish Russian mafia guy is going to die etc.

2010 isn't just about the United States but it's still an "American movie" and so it stop short of openly observing that in saving the best and the brightest, and by virtue of what qualifies as such and who did the picking, at the end of the day all humanity manages to save is its "wealthy hierarchy and social pecking order."

And so when land is discovered on the tip of Cape Hope in Africa - a wine pan shot of the world showing us that everything's been reduced now to a single country without borders, my first thought was:

"Who's going to do the heavy lifting?"

The closet thing on those ships to "worker bees" are the crews who manage and fix the machinery. I immediately thought of Battlestar Galatica then, as they addressed this on the TV series.

Upstairs, Downstairs, and all that.

Leading my brother and me to ponder and muse "why is it, that no one ever seems to make a movie about happens AFTER..?"

And speaking for myself, I'd like to see that!

But I won't hold my breath: I'm still waiting to see the inside of those spaceships from "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and E.T.'s home planet and all that stuff.

Oh for a bag of money the size of a mountain! I'd make a movie about all the stuff they NEVER show you in the movies!

Grin.

Some other film associations come into mind. The Zero Effect, The Magic Christian. It's all too fascinating. And I feel like this should become a meme on the scale of Kilroy Was Here. Where else can we photoshop an image of Jerry Berliant? Inside a spacesuit during a NASA launch, or on the International Space Station? Being pulled out of a magician's hat? Waiting to greet us in the long unopened chambers of the Great Pyramid? Could he be the next Waldo?

Ebert: I will establish a page for any such Photoshops

Where in the world is Jerry Berliant?

Roger:

From a long-time fan of your books and TV shows, many thanks for playing host to this wonderful on-line gathering, and for "getting the ball rolling" with such an intriguing story. It's a joy to finally discover a blog-site where warmth, good humor and intelligent commentary co-exist. This "social networking" thing might be worthwhile after all.

Available evidence leads me to conclude that Jerry B. is another renegade Time Lord. His picture seems to change very little over several years; he's been jailed at least once but continues to roam freely; has seemingly boundless energy, and he remains endlessly fascinated by human social gatherings, yet not interested in talking about himself.

Also, having his own TARDIS would certainly allow for extended travel at no cost.

Just a thought...

--b.c.

Ebert: I will establish a page for any such Photoshops. Where in the world is Jerry Berliant?

Now that Photoshop CS2 is working properly again (Wacom tablet driver issues) I've been able to play with Jerry's photo!

Chaz, Roger and Jerry at Ebertfest!

http://www3.telus.net/thiliasspace/Marie/jpegs/chaz_roger_jerry.jpg

Jerry, Tom Wolfe and Roger at O'Rourkes - note: that's a photo taken by Jane Lane. I've superimposed Jerry's face (from when he was arrested) over D*ck Flynn's...

http://www3.telus.net/thiliasspace/Marie/jpegs/jerry_orourkes.jpg

Grin.

Ebert: Good gravy, Marie, these are great!

Ebert: I threw up a quick page here:

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/where-in-the-world-is-jerry-be.html

These wiil remain invisible for awhile, while we collect more. Round up the Photo
shoppers!

1

Roger -

I just read all of the comments right after posting mine (the previous one).

Its interesting that I used the word 'googling', obviously not original, but perhaps the reference to its rejection by MSN as a real word is, while not original, first mentioned (though obviously everybody gets the same attempt at correction). Interestingly, the word wikapediaing shows up in one of your comments which I've never seen before in print.

Also interestingly, one of your writers on November 14 mentioned a gate crasher at the White House which is what started me on my Berliant search in the first place, and that occurred almost two weeks before the Obama event.

Also, and hopefully not to ruin the 'magic trick'. Jerry Berliant does have real friends. Billy Marovitz is one of them. I've known him for almost five decades, but haven's seen him for at least six years. I hope he's OK.

And also there are those who, to preserve, the A list perception not only invite Jerry but pay a very generous fee to have him be there. He doesn't do it that often, but he will 'crash' for a fee. He told me this himself more than 20 years ago. This help finances his trips to crash parties or events he really wants to go to. This could be part of a movie script as well.

Lastly, I've never been to an Ebertfest. Where and when will the 2010 one be, and how can I get in - properly of course, by paying the price of admission.

Thanks,

Phil

PS You have my email. If there's a way to get together (in spite of your inability to physically speak) I'd like to try it.

Roger, shame. Look what you've started:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/25/AR2009112504113_pf.html

I can't even tell which of these window-dressings is Joe Biden. Our Select Elite is becoming a homogeneous blur. That's why the guards are having such trouble.

Before you know it, all sorts of overdressed riff-raff will be wandering around the living room at my grandboy's 4th birthday party. Or did that already happen?

Ebert: Easier than it looks?

Oh, how disappointed I was that the State Dinner crasher was not Jerry Berliant! Someone upstaged him.

Ebert: Good gravy, Marie, these are great!

Hurray! You got them! The spam filter and I have been having issues lately; ahem.

I went to the picture page, and I see it wasn't actually a photo from Ebertfest, then? You've correctly listed it as being taken at the Directors' Guild of America awards! Chuckle!

Well... that's even better then. Smile. Now, let's see... where else go I put Jerry....

Ebert: Cere Proc in Edinburgh looks very good. Anybody remember who first linked me to them on this blog?
For some reason I couldn't gain access to your Nov. 25th essay,Time keeps slip... to comment, but you asked where you might find the chap who hooked you onto Cere Proc. The August 12th blog "Finding my own voice" has a number of discussions about voice technologies, including Cere Proc. I'd hate to misidentify the specific individual.

Ebert: Damn! The comments accidentially got closed. Open again, and thanks.

Ref: dogslurp on November 14, 2009 12:35 AM
Why Roger Ebert is a snob

I don't understand why somebody gets so worked up over an opinion about movies.

I also don't understand how someone can be friends with a man who makes $200,000,000/per year plus God knows how much else in "perks." I don't intend it as a criticism as such, but given my political, spiritual, and philosophical beliefs I really don't understand.

For instance, I could be respectful and polite to an Indian person who wears the symbol of the upper cast, but I couldn't be friends with them as long as they persisted in adhering to the cast-system.

Hope this doesn't offend you. I'm just interested in learning how other people view the world, etc.

*Gates as an example, in this specific instance, is different because he started Microsoft. It's his business.

Dear BeccaPiano,

I’m going to follow Gary’s example in my response to you. I made my comments anonymously because I believe that it is unethical during a contest to say something that might ingratiate oneself to other contenders. The two comments below illustrate what I think of Gary.

Both CanInDeed and Don were posted by me, Donald Roy Miller. I hope this clears everything up.

By CanInDeed on October 13, 2009 10:16 AM
@ Duncan Carmichael on October 11, 2009 5:26 AM
I think it has to do with the anonymity that the internet provides. Moral cowards, or the wreckless, can say things they know they won’t be held accountable for. I think just asking someone to be civil can change things. I know it did for me. I posted a real horse’s ass response, under a different blog name to something on this very site, and a fellow blogger named Gary From Phoenix was so polite, gracious, and kind in his response that it left an indelible impression on me. When others would have used what I said to kick me where it hurts his reply revealed a man of dignity and high moral character. Good examples are heros.

By Gary in Phoenix, Arizona on August 20, 2009 3:28 AM
To Don of the August 7/10:07 AM entry: Beg to differ; I am smiling in my photo; it is a tight, restrained smile, because my Grin Unleashed makes me look a lot like a Giddy Horse 25% in mid-morph to Jackass. All is vanity.
Had the dime come framed and fancy-titled, my delight in receiving it would not be one iota different. Roger knows nothing of the Bowhouse décor (Slovenly Post-Modern/Apocalyptic) and left presentation details, if any, to the Bowerlings. Roger gave me Time and Attention, than which there's nothing more precious.
There's also my suspicion, friend Don, that your "2009 Harry S Truman Medallion for Excellence in Cartoon Captioning" riffing has at its core an attempt to entertain, with lighthearted satire of pomp&circumstance. It does make me smile tightly, restrainedly . . . :o)

Dear Gary,
I tip my hat to you, sir.

When I read Roeper's column today in the Sun Times I got on the computer to read what you had to say about Jerry Berliant. I remember him from the early 80's in the city. My husband and I lived on Bellevue and we used to frequent the "triangle" on Rush Street quite often, Billy's, Faces and Sweetwater. I don't think there was ever a time that Jerry Berliant didn't walk in at some point and scope out the "scene". He would then move on to the next hot spot. To this day, almost 30 years later, I still see him cruising in and out if we happen to be at a trendy restaurant. He even walks in and out of East Bank now and then. I have always wondered not only how he does it, but why? I too have heard the rumors that he is some kind of agent, perhaps working for the IRS. It was just interesting to finally see someone write something about him, other than the occasional mention in a gossip column and I was compelled to comment. He truly is a mystery and all the more interesting because he has been at it for so long with no visible means of income. And, it was somewhat fascinating that he is crashing events worldwide. He is a very strange bird!

Perhaps The Talented Mr. Berliant feels it is better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody.

I've gotta admit something here. Out of these postings, all of which I've read, this one has stayed most prominently in my mind:

"I have seen this strange little man at so many horse races, always by himself, perhaps chatting with others but always alone,..."

Some guy named William Nack, November 15, 2009 8:31 AM.

Marie and I were both taken by this Berliant character; I fugued about it here, what's the appeal, doing this... can't imagine.

Indeed, a strange little man always by himself, perhaps chatting with others, but always alone...

This Nack fellow made the key observation, I thought; it's stayed in my mind all this time, trying to get a bead on this personality I'm certain is somehow melancholy. That's it, he's chronically alone.

I've never paid much attention to sports. Even tho' Roger's mentioned the name, I passed over it. By unusual happenstance, I learned that William Nack is a celebrated sportswriter. By even more unusual happenstance, I happened to get my hands on a copy of his MY TURF.

Good lord, so that's how to write...

I wonder if Berliant ever got into one of these 'swanky' events by making a cell phone call on his wallet.

MITCH SACHAROFF -GATE CRASHER, IMPOSTER, CELEBRITY STALKER, FAKE PUBLIC RELATIONS MAN, DANGEROUS TO CELEBRITIES.

MITCH SACHAROFF -WORLD'S BIGGEST GATE CRASHER

Marie's photoshops are hilarious, but a geek among us should put together a google map mashup of Berliant sightings. Might make for an interesting timeline.

Re: Getting around on planes, it may be Mr. Berliant is as versed in airline mileage (thus getting free flights) as he is in appearing in places he wasn't invited.

A short movie about frequent fliers w/o George Clooney:
http://vimeo.com/7167640

I couldn't place why Jerry sounded so familiar, and then I was reminded: Edgar Allen Poe's story, "The Man of the Crowd" (it's in the public domain, so available all over). A man who goes into paroxysms when not surrounded by others; suspected by an observer who trails him of terrible, unnamed crimes (that part isn't quite the same).

I've met many Jerrys, all of them pathological liars, some I grew to know quite well, and many, like Jerry, had a bizarre mix of actual remarkable life experiences, and completely fabricated equally remarkable ones.

At a conference in Maine a decade ago, I met a Jerry who had talked his way in as press into the three-day event (much like the Ideas conference mentioned earlier). I had lunch with him and discovered that he claimed to be widely published over a long period. When I checked a periodicals database, I found he had been: on the letters page. An inveterate and successful letter-to-the-editor writer, he had been published perhaps dozens of
all star shoestimes, and convinced himself that writing letters was equivalent to working for these magazines. He managed at one point to get and fulfill a biographical book contract for a major publisher (still puzzling over that), and at some point after that was rusticated from a midwest library for using profanity.

Berliant has been utterly upstaged by Tareq and Michaele Salahi. Did Berliant ever crash the White House?

My brother is an only child

JERRY BERLIANT SIGHTINGS...Jan. 26 & 27,2010...
I saw him this weekend at two Sundance parties held at private homes. Was he on the lists? Friday's party: He was asking where the food was (there wasn't any, only drinks) and Saturday he was seen triple dipping his chips at Denis John Healey's house in Deer valley, UT.
I have seen him at numerous KY Derby/Breeders'Cup parties just walking around by himself.
Recently, I saw him on The Eclipse Awards standing behind A&M Records founder Jerry Moss.
I'm going to a big party this weekend, let's see if he attends.

Ebert: The man is unsinkable.

MITCH SACHAROFF ("MITCH THE DOG FACED PARTY CRASHER") has utterly upstaged the White House Party Crashers, Tareq and Michaele Salahi. Did the Salahis ever crash the PLAYBOY MANSION like MITCH SACHAROFF HAS CRASHED DOZENS OF TIMES WITH HIS ACCOMPLICE JACK KELLY, JACK "CRASH" KELLY, THE SERIAL GATE CRASHER, CELEBRITY STALKER, PHONEY PUBLIC RELATIONS MAN, CELEBRITY IMPERSONATOR AND IMPOSTER.

MITCH SACHAROFF AND JACK "CRASH" KELLY ARE THE WORLD'S GREATEST GATE CRASHERS, MUCH BETTER CRASHERS THAN THE SALAHIS a.k.a. THE WHITE HOUSE PARTY CRASHERS.

The Salahi White House party crashers vs. Mitch Sacharoff the Dog Faced Party Crasher --
Mitch Sacharoff easily crashers more parties than the Salahis and has a longer record of out foxing the best celebrity publicists and party planners because Mitch Sacharoff poses as a celebritiy publicist himself .

Mitch Sacharoff -- "the dog faced party crasher" poses a celebrity publicist to gain unlawful entry to parties. Mitch Sacharoff could teach the Salahis how to crash parties because nobody crashes more parties than Mitch Sacharoff.

MITCH SACHAROFF -- "the dog faced party crasher" is a much better party crasher than the Salahis
The Salahis can't hold a candle to party crashing scams of con artist Mitch Sacharoff --"the dog faced party crasher."

Mitch Sacharoff is a better party crasher than the Salahis.

Mitch "the Party Crasher" Sacharoff aka Mitch Sacharoff "the Dog Faced Party Crasher" is a much better party crasher than the Salahis. The Salahis are amateur party crashers compared to dog faced Mitchell Sacharoff -- the world's greatest party crasher.