The older lady stood about 15 feet away from me in the frozen food aisle at the grocery store.
As I reached to grab a frozen pizza from the shelf, the lady exploded with the loudest sneeze I ever heard.
Aaaaaahhhhh-ccchhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Sniffle sniffle, snot snot, wipe wipe.
It was like she had been saving up this super-duper sneeze of the century for months, just for that very moment.
Dumbfounded, I just looked at her. And she looked back at me. No one else was in that aisle.
I sheepishly turned to grab my pizza, but she continued to stare my way, waiting... for something.
Finally, a few seconds later, I realized what she was waiting for.
"Uh, God bless you," I mumbled, waiting to see if I said the right thing to curb her wrinkled stink eye.
"Thank you," she hissed curtly before turning away, like my belated "God bless you" somehow offended her.
Well, this isn't the first time such a situation has happened to me in our God Bless You Nation.
On the flip side, I once offered a reactionary "God bless you" to a guy who sneezed near me in an office and he acted like I was nuts, as if I was somehow too far away from his personal space or something.
Holy you-know-what, it seems that this agnostic is damned if I do and damned if I don't.
So, my promised God-related question that I've been wondering for years is this.
What is the proper and polite distance between two people to say "God bless you" after a public sneeze? Five feet away? Ten feet away? A deserted frozen foods aisle away?
Huh? What's that, you were expecting a God-related question with a little more depth or existential angst? Yeah, I've got those too, believe me. All I have are questions. It's what I do for a living. When people ask what I do for a legal buck, I typically reply, "I ask a bunch of questions." I even have a button at my desk saying so.
In my youth, I had all the answers. These days, all I have are questions.
And in future blog entries I'll be posing more weighty questions - politics, abortion, region issues, etc. - even honest to God-related queries that will be, pardon me, nothing to sneeze at. God bless you.
Stay connected. I'm here.
Jerry Davich is the metro columnist for the Post-Tribune Newspaper. Since 1995, he’s written thousands of columns and stories with one goal in mind – to create a dialogue with readers, not a monologue. He hopes this blog expands his goal into cyberspace.
Personally I think if snot is projectile, there needs to be an apology rather than any expectation on their part.
If they're in eyesight, go for it with the blessing. Otherwise, let it be. I've noticed we atheists can get away with saying only "Bless you" and they always seem to think that'll do. There are things I do out of respect for the religious that have nothing to do with my beliefs. Once in a while I mind it, then other times I remind myself that some of them are putting up with a lot of Godlessness in public life that they would rather not, and I call it fair.
But you only get a remark from me on the first sneeze. Once it's clear you're having an allergy day or should be home with that bad cold, I'm quiet about the rest of the sneezes.
I feel like the Answer Lady. :o)
Maybe the rule of thumb should be if you can hear it and you are within "conversation range" you should say "Bless you." It's just nice to get a blessing -- religious or secular -- after sneezing.
Here's another question: Should multiple sneezes require multiple blessings?
That sounds disgusting. I believe the other poster was right, you deserved an apology. I'm tired of people going out in public with their germs spreading around. When my husband goes to work sick I ask him - how many people did you infect today. His answer is "not enough", but I guess he doesn't like his job so much.
Either a mumbled "bless you" or angry stare. I guess it depends on just how much snot and wiping.
Frankly, Jerry, I think a sneeze of that magnitude deserves applause!
How do you imagine that woman would have reacted if you had stared at her in awe while slowly clapping?
Love your blog!
Hi Jerry. I'd let it go with "Bless You" and leave off the reference to God, not because I don't believe, but because you never know, the sneezer could be Buddhist or agnostic.
Why not wish them what they really need? "Good health! And leave the blessing (with an implied blessor) out of it altogether?
I understand in my own sort of way. Once, while I was teaching, for whatever reason, I mentioned that if I had a chance to ask
G-d just one thing (and I qualified that this is assuming one believes in G-d), I would want to know why we couldn't eat all the fried food, rich sauces, great chocolate, bread with cream cheese types of food that we want to without gaining weight. It seemed to me that G-d could have made this thing called "life" anyway he wanted to (yes, I'm using the masculine--that's another discussion). At least one student thought my one question to G-d was, well, under-rated (to put it mildly). Oh well.
I herad a long time ago that "God Bless You" was first used when people thought your soul left your body when you sneezed. That it was a protection against evil spirits taking over your body.
So I did a Google, found an interesting response.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_bless_you
Good Health to all
Harold