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Former Lincoln-Way and Indiana standout and MLS player Ned Grabavoy was a player that could've sat out of high school and played year-round club, but he didn't.
And today, he reminds players what they'll miss if they do sit out.
By Ned Grabavoy - The 2000 Gatorade national soccer player of the year, who is in his sixth year in MLS. He plays for Real Salt Lake.
I have been fortunate enough to enjoy much success in my professional soccer career, but I look back to my days at Lincoln-Way High School as an important and exciting time in my life.
Lincoln-Way and the community played a significant role in molding me as a person on and off the field. Head coach Brian Papa is the person I am most thankful for. Not only did Papa teach me things on the field, but how to deal with everything off the field. He taught me how to act as a professional, how to become a great leader, and how to deal with all the pressures soccer brought off the field. He gave me freedom and let me be a kid, but also taught me I had to grow up faster than most, and making big sacrifices was important in reaching my dreams.
As important as high school was for my soccer career, it was the off-the-field atmosphere I'm most thankful for. I have made lifelong relationships with many. I met the love of my life and wife, Monica, my freshman year when I was just 13. She has been by my side throughout my career supporting me through the ups and downs. I have also made lifelong friendships while at Lincoln-Way. Whether flying out to come and stay or in huge groups to support me when I play in Chicago, my friends gave me the normal life every teenager needs.
High school was a special time, and Lincoln-Way holds a special spot in my heart. It helped me propel my soccer career while getting a good education, but also has made me some unbelievable friendships. This wonderful dream come true of playing professional soccer will sadly end some day. However, I will have my family and friends forever.
I have never played a single game in my life for myself. I feel a responsibility to represent my roots, where I grew up, and what the Lincoln-Way community stands for. I play every game with the thought of making my friends and family proud of who we are and where we come from.
Cell Phone Alerts
Joe :
Back to the topic about playing high school ball again? Well lets not forget that Ned Grabavoy played on some pretty good high school teams with some good players around him and a pretty good coach. And I have said this before; what if the players around you are not so good and/ or the high school coach is not so good or basically a jerk? Is a player just suppose to suffer through that " for the good of the high school team"??? Personally, I don't think so.
Always, always said - it's good to have choices. But when I hear parents or a kid tell me they need to play club year-round to get a college scholarship, I was always want to say - and you need to write me a $1,000 check for me to write about you. I'm all for high school, all for club, all for personal training, all for anything anyone wants to do. But when people lie about things, then that's a different story.
As to your questions:
1. Having less talent around you: Do you know how many college coaches tell me they love when a player has less talent around them in the fall/spring, because it puts them in a different role to be a leader and different positions on the field.
2. High school coach is not so good or jerk: So who officially decides this? I come from the era of playing for the sport - not for a coach. One of my favorite baseball coaches growing up was not liked by a lot of parents. But I would run through a wall for him. He screamed and he would kick our butt. Since when do parents sitting in the stands or teenage players get to decide if a coach is good? Honestly, I think parents, many of whom have never played the game, should focus more on their child.
3. Is a player just supposed to suffer: Suffer through what? Having the honor of putting on a varsity uniform, representing their community and high school? Sorry, if that's so tough then we have a big problem with today's society.
Yes, ultimately it is the PLAYERS that decide who is a good coach and who is not a good coach, as you said. But I know for a FACT that there are players out there that will not play for their high school team BECAUSE OF THE COACH.... not because what their parents think or what anybody else says but because they themselves have made the personal decision that they cannot get along with the coach. And yes, it is an honor to put on the varsity uniform and it makes it that much more disappointing not to play for your high school. I'm sorry Joe... not all high school coaches were created equally.
Ned Grabavoy's comments regarding High School soccer are "right on", not "red and black on". We have had 2 different scenerios in our family with high school soccer;
one child played all 4 years while the other chose to play club for 3 years. Playing Club was a decision made by her and her alone. Her senior year she decided to play High School and it was the best decision she could have ever made. She has had THE time of her life. Playing High school is totally different from playing on Club, ODP State, Regional and yes, even National teams. Many great life lessons are learned, great friendships are made and playing for your school and community is an honor. High School soccer prepares you for College ball, playing 6 days a week. (not 2-3, like club) It prepares you by playing for a school and a community. High School soccer is so much more than playing with good players or good coaches.
Many argue that a player loses skill if they play High School. I disagree; we saw improvement, getting a better left foot, confidence and a different type of leadership. And if a player is really a player, once they get back to Club, they will only need a couple practices to regain the speed of play. It is true, you cannot compare the level of High School with Club, just as you cannot compare the level of National Teams to Club. You adapt to the level and give it 110%.
Looking back, our daughter wishes she would have played High School more than one year, but is so greatful for the one year she did have...
I just don't believe a high school player can nor should he/she be making those decisions. Does a teenager make the call at home if you are a bad parent? No. Have a great weekend.
I think the operative word here is "play" for your high school team. I understand where Red and Black is coming from. What about a high school coach that picks a roster of 18 for varsity but only plays the same 11-12 girls for the entire game(s)? Even when you have a 3 goal lead with 10 minutes left to play the same players are out there (out of gas)and the other 6-7 players sit on the bench for entire games. GAME AFTER GAME. What about a high school coach who on senior night has 4 seniors and only plays 3 (the 3 in the starting group) and does not even either start the remaining senior (who was on varsity before and was not injured) or play her for ONE SINGLE MINUTE- how did you think the player and her parents felt? The nonstarters are experienced and for the most part have played club soccer since third grade so it's not like they don't know what they are doing out there. It was very discouraging. My daughter could not wait for the season to end so that she could go back to her club and get some real touches on the ball. Unless they get a new coach, this was probably her last high school season, and this was HER decision.
Nice piece on Ned. It is great to hear that perspective from the athletes that have grown out of the area.
Thanks for your continued coverage.
My daughter has also played on many "levels" of teams and as a result has had many "levels" of coaches and coaching as well. She has learned and become a better person and player from each of those coaches and each of those teams. She plays the game because she loves it - she is not responsible for the outcome of every game. She has grown from being around coaches, players, referees, and fans who have different views and abilities than her own. There have been players and teams who have challenged her in both directions - coaches with superior knowledge and players with superior skills and less knowledgable coaches and less skilled players- all have "challenged" her in one way or another to grow. She acquired many life lessons and valuable relationships by being a part of both groups. Her play looks different at times based on who she is playing with and who is coaching her - but all have made her into the talented passionate player she is today. I do not believe that a player should be made to sit out high school nor should they be made to play high school. The commitment to do either is big - to do both is huge and I believe it has to come from the player to do it well. Once that player has committed to that season they have agreed to be under the coaches authority and if they truly respect that they will learn and become better in some way, even if that is just learning to respect authority. Not playing high school because of having a perception that they will have "bad " coaching is difficult for me to agree with. Different than what we like or are comfortable with does not equal bad.
Joe:
No, kids themselves don't just make that call. They make it in combination with there parents. Parents who have been watching and/or coaching their kids since they started to play when they were 5 years old. Yes, parents are a bit bias about things as far as their kids are concerned. But usually both the kids and the parents have been through a long journey together with soccer. They have seen many different coaches and teams and they have "been around the block". They know a little about what is good and what is not so good.
Look... I'll fully admit that there are some very good high school coaches out there.... and there is no excuse for players who love the game to play for their school. But in the same breath I will say that there are at least a few not so good coaches out there and there are more than a few girls out there that make a very rational decision not to play for them. If you have a problem with their decision.... well basically I think your wrong.
Black and Red On:
I believe that a player can turn a negative situation into a positive one. What if, as you say a player doesn't PLAY? A player that has been around the block, playing soccer since age 5 should know that it all starts with practice. Does the player have tremendous work ethnic? Does she give 110% day in and day out? Does she lead by example? Is she a good role model to her peers? Does she support the team on the bench as well as on the field? Does she play with passion and heart? If she has showed these attributes at practice, then any coach, good or bad would give her an opportunity. I cannot believe that a coach would only make 1 substitution in games for an entire season. And walking away is not a good life lesson learned. These kids will have bad teachers, coaches, bosses and neighbors throughout their lives. You don't just walk away, you learn to adapt and deal with the situations to make them positive.
Black and Red,
I am sorry to hear that your daughter had a poor experience playing high school soccer. With out knowing the situation, I cannot speak for or against the coach, program, your daughter's work ethic. However, I know exactly how she feels. During high school I went through the same thing in another sport. I worked my butt off each day in practice but still never sniffed the field. Time and time again I got the "if I had your attitude in the players with more skill..." speech from my coach. It does suck and drains the fun out of the game.
With regards to the senior night issue, in our progam we will place the importance of the game above senior night ceremony. That is, if an important conference game is on the line, we will go with our strongest line-up, regardless of grade level. We then honor the seniors at a ceremony either before the game or at halftime. We place the needs of the team over the individual in that case.
Soccer Fan,
To clarify the situation, my daughter and the others that basically sat on the bench all season went to every practice (6 days a week), gave up other school activities, never mouthed off, supported the team and did all the things a good team member should do. And still, believe it or not, that coach did not give her or the others the opportunity to play much if at all. And yes, believe it or not, he basically had one extra girl he subbed/rotated around, period.
My daughter DID NOT walk away as you say, she stuck it out for the entire HS season unlike other girls who would have quit the team mid-season and gone back to club (I know some girls who did). She did adapt and made the best of the situation. However, she loves to "play" and is serious about soccer and wants to develop to her highest potential and that is why she won't play HS for this coach anymore. Sitting on the bench won't do her any good and and there is no guarantee he will play her next year so club is the way to go. She is going to do what is best for her development, what is wrong with that? Isn't that what she learned from her "life lesson" this year?
This is what I don't like about message boards, back and forth on topics that don't belong on message boards. Every situation is different. There is no right or wrong here. Let it die.
What club could have Ned played for year round ? Magic boys doens't do year round soccer, I don't believe Ned had any big decision, it was either play HS or take a season off. Any kid who loves the game would pick to play.
Call Brian Papa - ask him what club Ned would've played for. Magic at the time was all set to start the year-round club thing. Ned's decision played a major role in the Magic electing not to do that. Don't believe me? Do some fact checking.
Black and Red,
Please send me your address so I can send you some tissue for all the crying you've been doing on this blog. You should be happy your daughter made the team and is involved in an extracurricular activity. Don't put it on the coach because she is not good enough to get on the pitch. There are hundreds of kids out there in Illinois that are not seeing the field with their sports teams, but are still enjoying their experience. We live in a competitive environment, so it's better they learn these lessons now.
Have her join AYSO next season, so she can play and get a trophy no matter what place her team comes in; and her coach will tell her how wonderful she is everyday!
Hey Black and white,
No need for you to be insulting, and you missed the point. I was not crying but pointing out some of the frustrations/reasons/concrete examples of why girls skip HS and play club soccer year round, which is how this blog started. And from the many players and parents I talk to, the coaches are a big part of it (are you a HS coach by the way)? My daughter is involved in plenty of other extracurricular activities so she didn't need varsity soccer to make her feel good. She was good enough (and so were the rest of the "benchwarmers") to get selected for the varsity team and sacrificed other activities to devote her time to it only to be disapppointed. That's life, **** happens and she is moving on. As Joe said, there is no right or wrong on this subject.
Black and white,
So Black and Red's club-level daughter (try reading, then try comprehension) should just sacrifice her time and enjoyment of the game and not play for what? A character building experience? Loyalty to alma mater? A great seat at HS soccer games? Huh? I'm going to guess that if she has the option to play club in the spring, she plays for a good club and a good team on that club: I think most of the club teams playing in the spring are upper-tier. Did you ever think that maybe it's a question of playing style? Maybe a kick-and-run coach prefers those kinds of players to a possession-type player, or vice versa. I've seen extremely talented players relegated to JV in favor of lesser players who fit the coach's preferred playing style better. It happens, and it's the coach's perogative. For the record, my kids played HS as well as club and thoroughly enjoyed their experiences.
As Joe said above, it's good to have choices and every situation is different.
Red and White:
I would say that a good coach adjusts style to the players and talents he has and finds an important place in his or her system for as many players as possible to have as much talent and diversity available depending on who the team is facing. And on top of that injuries happen and you need to have confident players available to come in.
I'm sorry, but I think the high school game has grown beyond just the kick and run or just the possession style game. The teams that consistently win do some of both. And adjust to other teams style. And are not monolithic about how they approach a game. Just like the top college and professional teams do.
Wow, quite the set of back and forth. I have absolutely no problem with someone picking to go with their club team, especially if they have a bad experience with the HS coach. But did the player ever really discuss the situation with the coach. I can tell you from experience, that most likely, no they didn't. In my 18 years of coaching, I've lost several players from one year to the next. Only one ever came and discussed it with me and I not only supported his decision, but continue to have an amicable relationship with him and his parents. All of the others that choose not to come back, never came to talk to me about their feelings or situation. Which is too bad, if they had come to me to discuss it, they might have learned something. I might have learned something and we both might have been better off for it.
What I do have a problem with, is a player not playing high school because the club tells them they won't get the big scholarship if they play HS. Which we all know is a load of crap. But it is said and is listened to. This I think is really where Joe and most others are coming from (although I don't want to put words in Joe's mouth, he doesn't need me to do that).
Coachk,
I can't speak for the other girls on the team in the same situation, but my daughter did discuss her situation privately with the coach 2 or 3 different times during the season so they should not be surprised when she does not return next year. She at least learned something-thank goodness she has choices. Bye all.
Every coach I know wants to win. Almost every one of them truly cares about the happiness of the players on their team even more. That said, at the varsity level, when the game is a one or two goal game, is the coach still supposed to play everyone so they have their opportunity? Playing time in every or even most games should not a prerequisite for being a part of a team, or for having a great experience. Learn how to be a great role player, how you need to work harder, that you can be excited for the players who are in the game are all valuable lessons. Players should ALL be given time to prove themselves. Where I am we call it practice. And any coach who wants to win will play the players that he or she gives them the best chance, period. WHY WOULD A COACH NOT PUT IN A QUALITY PLAYER WHO COULD HELP THEM WIN?
I know there are bad coaches out there, but there aren't as many as some of you seem to think.
My problem would be when the coach doesn't play a player, and then never helps them see their value, how and where they need to get better, and that they still care about them. Although sometimes when coaches do this, the players aren't listening, because they are too overwhelmed by having to go home and listen to mom or dad ask why they didn't play.
Good Points Scott,
I like the last one best of all.
I had a tough season with parents this year and another coach told me, that the best team he could think of, would have all the players be orphans. Of course I laughed when he said this, but it makes a valid point. While there are plenty of helpful parents, many sure don't get it at all. While watching class A semi final, a team down 1 to 0, just cranked up the effort level and played their collective hearts out in the 2nd half. But it still wasn't enough for the parents in attendance. The team tied the game but then lost in OT. To listen to the parents ranting and raving, you would have thought the team laid down and just decided to let the other team win. Which was not the case. But some parents just don't get it.