I don't mean any offense to our own elected officials or the multitude of idiots over in Michigan, but carp czar for Asian carp?

Where was the goby guru when we needed it?

Or the mussel master?

Or somebody with enough pull to pray down the invocation of the invasives?

I could go on, but some days I am just so perplexed and annoyed that my brain races in circles, not unlike the morning ramble around the town pond with the meathead.