Marcia Brady never would have dated Michael Jackson (remember, Davy Jones was her type), gone on cocaine binges or partied at the Playboy mansion (the pizza parlor was where it was at for her), but Maureen McCormick, who played the eldest daughter on the '70s sitcom "The Brady Bunch" did all of the the above -- and more.
You can learn all the salacious details in McCormick's memoir, Here's the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice (HarperCollins, 288 pages, $25.95), which goes on sale tomorrow.
That's McCormick, upper left, as Marcia on "The Brady Bunch."
Regrettably I did not receive an advance copy -- Do the publisher's not know what a "Brady Bunch" aficionado I am? -- but the Associated Press got their hands on one and culled this quote out of it.
''As a teenager, I had no idea that few people are everything they present to the outside world. Yet there I was, hiding the reality of my life behind the unreal perfection of Marcia Brady. No one suspected the fear that gnawed at me even as I lent my voice to the chorus of Bradys singing, 'It's a Sunshine Day.'''
Ain't no sunshine in interventions, rehab, depression and therapy, which is what followed her "Brady" years. But in 1985 McCormick married actor Michael Cummings, and her life started to turn around. She credits his love and support, plus that of her "Brady Bunch" family, with helping her get sober.
During her troubled times, McCormick got an occasional acting role but nothing substantial. Post-recovery she became the winner on VH1's own version of dysfunction, "Celebrity Fit Club." More recently she starred on two other reality series, "Gone Country" and the bizarre "Outsider's Inn."
Meet Marcia in person! McCormick will sign copies of Here's the Story, 7 p.m. Thursday at Borders, 830 N. Michigan.