William “The Fridge” Perry has been such a source of delight for Bears fans, during his playing days and after, we can only wish him the best of all things — not least the best of health. But as happy as we were to learn he's got two new front teeth — in fact, a whole mouthful of new choppers — in time for Christmas, we're going to miss that toothless smile of his.
In addition to emblemizing the Bears' great Super Bowl triumph, in which he scored that unlikely TD, Perry's unique grin became a Chicago landmark. Now that it's been renovated, will they straighten the Leaning Tower of Pisa next? Attach a prosthetic arm to the Venus de Milo? Fill in the missing gaps at Stonehenge?
Better yet, will the Bears strive to sign friendly characters like him and big adieu to its gangsta and paternity suit culture?
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Yeah, Big Billy is a gangsta now. I can see Jerry Angelo writing down his notes for next year: "Note to Self: Do not sign William 'Fridge with Ice Cubes' Perry".